Are healthcare workers becoming more rude and obnoxious?

GoogleBot · 16-10-2021 9:54pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058213374/are-healthcare-workers-becoming-more-rude-and-obnoxious

That's what happens when hospitals pay low salary, get short for staff and as result hiring less qualified people without giving proper training.

BrianD3 · 16-10-2021 10:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030459#Comment_118030459

Disgraceful. They were in the wrong jobs. Then again, you'd question whether they'd last long in any work environment where customer service is key (e.g. McDonalds)

Even if it was years ago, it is still going on. Carers get unacceptable treatment from these individuals too. In my own experience, contrary to some other people's experiences, it is the NCHDs, nurses, receptionists and various technicians that are the worst. Then again, the consultants can't treat people badly if they are nowhere to be seen.

16-10-2021 10:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118029445#Comment_118029445

I had to come back and reframe that, I realized after the fact it came across like an aryan death wish on the populace. That's not what I meant. Yes the system is broken, no the Irish are not capable of ever doing the right thing, as long as the climate continues to encourage that kind of growth. (much like how it allowed the church to dominate and control it's populace uninterrupted for generations) I did work there briefly so I'm reluctant to get too involved in any in-depth discussion but my thinking was that like a forest fire there is always regeneration but given certain conditions, the type of environment can change the culture drastically from one which supports only one or two species, to a landscape of an entirely different genus. Lets hope there's new seedlings of a different kind blowing in once the inferno has passed by. (and lets hope also it has managed to completely raze all the dead wood)

Piollaire · 16-10-2021 10:22pm

Nearly always had a good experience except in the maternity ward. As a partner I wasn't allowed to stay to help with the new baby - even though my wife had a C-section. She was left to her own devices and had to wait for a nurse to come to help her while me along with all the other partners were exiled. And this was before covid.

Strumms · 16-10-2021 10:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118028698#Comment_118028698

It’s not a luxury... it is or should be a human right that we the taxpayers have access to appropriate healthcare.

WE fund the system therefore we should benefit from it.... nobody ever said the universe owes them perfect health but the country owes its citizens good healthcare on the occasion our health fails...

Richard Hillman · 16-10-2021 10:35pm

Toward the end of Lockdown 1 (June) I went to a friend's house and had a few beers in the backgarden. Walked home at night and was battered by a group of young lads for no reason. Ended up in hospital and the nurses were intent on quizzing me about my activities before incident. Were you drinking? (that's ok), were you drinking with people? how far from your home were you drinking? getting the tut-tut treatment. "but you are not supposed to be doing that....". F**k off, love.

Between that and the Tik-Tok videos, I tend to give a roll eyes whenever I hear about them getting superhuman like praise.

surrender monkey · 16-10-2021 10:56pm

I think people are being unfair on the op. Maybe the way they expressed themselves came across as angry and agressive but that's because caring for a relative with dementia in the Irish healthcare system is an eye opener. It certainly was for our family. My mother had altzheimers and was being cared for at home by my father. One day she took a 'turn' and my father brought her to the GP who advised a trip to a and e. She was brought to saint James and they sat in a and e all day with nothing to eat on those hard plastic chairs. They left a and e and went home around 10 o'clock because a dementia patient simply cannot be put through that.

They tried again the next day and I brought them down at 8am. By 4pm they got through to the back and when she was assessed they admitted her because she had had a mild stroke. They placed her on a ward and that's where our problems started. My father's health insurance was paying full private price for that bed. The hospital was not set up to care for a dementia patient. They were putting food in front of her and taking it away when she didn't eat it. She couldn't feed herself and they made very little effort to feed her. At that time my mother was a handful and to combat this they started to heavily medicate her to make her easier to handle. I'm sorry but that is just not acceptable. One time we were feeding her and the food was falling from her mouth she was so drugged up. Another time my father walked in and a care assistant who was supposed to be feeding her was standing staring out a window with a spoon ful of food just stuck Infront of her. Disgraceful. The hospital suggested that my father attend the hospital at mealtimes and feed her himself, 4 times a day. He attended for two meals to try and make sure she was getting some food. She was in that hospital for two months and they wouldn't release her. Over that time an already frail woman lost two stone in their care.

Finally we got her a place in a wonderful nursing home and she came on in leaps and bounds in a matter of days.

Our health care system is just not good with dealing with dementia which puts undue stress on the patient and their family.

16-10-2021 11:12pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030806#Comment_118030806

I once spent 39 hours in A&E with my mother with dementia. She was admitted with pneumonia after a 12 hour wait. We then spent 27 hours waiting for a bed. When she fell asleep I would try to go to the toilet, (or to grab something from a vending machine) but one time she woke up and wandered looking for me, and i came back to a very irate staff member biting my head off for leaving her alone. I actually can't talk about it. I haven't thought about that in a long time.

16-10-2021 11:22pm

Most healthcare staff are decent but there is no doubt some should never have entered the profession. I had a bad experience with a very petty and vindictive nurse in hospital a while back. I tried to get on with things as best I could because I was unwell and didn’t need additional drama. But it’s something I won’t forget.

But then you can meet some brilliant staff that leave a great impression and really help your recovery.

Strumms · 16-10-2021 11:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118029098#Comment_118029098

Nothing will change... the same management, same consultants...same problems...

colossal waiting lists..
Fûck all access to rehabilitative medicine / beds
overcrowded A&E’s, with junkies and other addicts who are given preferential status to actually genuinely ill and seriously ill people just because staff want them in and out ASAP.
under funded and inadequate inpatient services and facilities. When I was in Cappagh the gym had two exercise bikes...no treadmill...should have had two or three alter-G machines..

you didn’t need a pandemic to identify the issues with health in this country and the pandemic won’t be some magic catalyst to putting things right...

Still stihl waters 3 · 16-10-2021 11:49pm

Through my many interactions with hospital and medical staff over the years I've found the best staff in the hospital to be the catering and cleaning staff, nurses now are overpaid pill carriers with nothing to do only wait for the doctor to tell them what pills to pass out, the bestowed admiration and hero status is wasted on the most of them because they've long forgotten why they got into nursing in the first place

Strumms · 16-10-2021 11:53pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030969#Comment_118030969

Not a slight on nurses but I value carers more then nurses... proper front line..

Still stihl waters 3 · 16-10-2021 11:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030981#Comment_118030981

Most definitely, now don't get me wrong I couldn't do their job but that's because I don't want to, I've had multiple jobs over the years, I don't see why some don't just move on when they get sick of it and save themselves and their patients the misery, not all are bad but an awful lot are battle hardened veterans who have become disinterested, do us all a favour and leave

17-10-2021 12:18am

They're also extremely stretched, and under extra pressure these last 18 months, having to put up too with the pandemic sceptics.

jo187 · 17-10-2021 12:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030099#Comment_118030099

I think me saying relax is a victim of the lack of tone in text. As I was generally concerned about the clear stress the op is under and the effects of that on him/her.

My comment about nursing home or help in some way was constructive comment on my behalf.

Not saying this is the case for the op. But in my experience one family member is left to deal with the care of the family member. The rest of the family live there lives, while they become overwhelmed with everything.

People often feel a shame or failure to place someone in care or get professional care help at home.

I was trying to make op feel comfortable exploring that as an option for them.

Really seems my original post was taken differently then intended.

Tom Mann Centuria · 17-10-2021 12:45am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030992#Comment_118030992

Unfortunately if the older disinterested carers left we'd be even further up shít creek with home care than we are now. Some counties are waiting weeks into months trying to get carers for time slots and that's even after the Draconian home care cuts from a few years back.

Lots of those patients are in acute hospitals waiting, or end up there because family carers can no longer cope.

I work on a general ward. While I, as an over paid pill carrier waitil for a doctor to tell me what to do, I try extremely hard to be polite and friendly and tell student nurses that no matter how bad your day is going, there's lots of people in our care who's are considerably worse. And most patients and their families are great, regardless of their plight, and those interactions for me are still the best bit of the job.

Not to say I'm perfect and I'm sure when I've gone to some patients in the past, I'm sure I must have been a bit abrupt. With the best will in the world, it's quite tricky not to get slightly irritated when, and here a few examples (as I say still very much as minority) Bear in mind you could be trying your best to reorientate someone with memory difficulties or mobilise someone who's unsteady or toilet someone while all these are going on:

a completely capable person is ringing a callbell to ask you to get their phone charger out of a drawer they just put something in,

or tell you they have pain and demand pain relief immediately, when they just seconds before told a doctor they have no pain and want to go home, so the doctor didn't chart anything,

or ask why the ward television doesn't have sky and what am I going to do about it,

or when a patient demands a visitor, and will not take no for an answer, and it's the nurses fault they can't have a visitor when the policy currently is limited visitors,

or they want a vase for flowers and insist it is their right to have (even though infection control doesn't allow them)

or continually insist on a side room because they pay their VHI (while I agree it's terrible there aren't any siderooms, unless they want us to knit them one they aren't getting one regardless of what subs they pay)

Yesterday I had a fully alert and oriented forty year old patient (who had a fully functional mobile phone he was using all day). His father was shouting in my face demanding to know why we didn't inform him his son was in hospital. I did thank Jebus I was wearing a mask because I'm sure it hid my jaw dropping beautifully.

There certainly are people who work in the hospital I am in who's manner isn't great, but as someone posted before, it's no different from anywhere else, it's a job, and you're going to get good, bad and indifferent. I think we're quite lucky that where I work most are good or at worst, indifferent.

OP point about nurses from Asia is an interesting one, and I think there are cultural aspects where some don't initially interact with patients as much, partly because personal care where they trained wouldn't have been done by a nurse, but by a family member, and language is still a difficulty for newer staff (of which in recent months there have been many). In my experience most nurses from other countries communication skills improve massively over time and they can be just as good or better than European trained nurses.

Tl;dr life is a rich tapestry blah blah blah.

Bananaleaf · 17-10-2021 1:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118027513#Comment_118027513

Yeah but they CHOSE to work there. The health service hasn't become underfunded and understaffed overnight. And the general public's ire over it is not a new thing. The state of the Irish health system is irrelevant. It is no more the patient's fault it is that way than it is the healthcare worker's. There are some nurses in Irish hospitals who have absolutely no business being there. And I'd imagine that nobody feels more strongly about that than the good ones who have to work alongside them.

OP, I do agree with others that the Asian comment didn't need to be made, but I admire the fact that you are calling out some health care workers. I say some because obviously, like any profession, there are good and bad.

It's like some kind of weird superstition thing in Ireland that everyone has to go around saying that all our nurses are angels. They're bloody not

Windowsnut · 17-10-2021 1:19am

I can honestly say that I found the nurses that looked after my grandmother after heart valve replacement were the kindest and caring people of all the staff I encountered in the HSE.

That said, I have had some less than positive experiences in the last ten years with private consultants, doctors and administrators, I have found that some of them have become extremely obnoxious and full of their own self importance.

My Grandfather was a gentle old soul, he had a top company VHi plan all his working life and he developed cancer in his late 70's. While Chemo worked for a few years and my mum had been diligently caring for him, one day the consultant just walked into to him and said "Now Mr Mulvey, how would you like to die?" completely unexpected and out of the blue. The poor man nearly collapsed on the spot.

Likewise a few years later consultants kept putting a severe abdominal infection my grandmother had that went on for nearly four months down to tummy bugs, the private consultants didn't cop it at all, and it wasn't until it was too late that an overworked doctor in the public system spotted that the issue was more than just a stomach bug. He did his best but couldn't save her. But I still remember the consultants in the private hospital dismissing her very flippantly pretty much taking her money in one hand and telling her to get lost, one fella went on with such a palaver trying to look down his nose at her that you could nearly see his brain through his nostrils. My blood still boils thinking about it.

An uninsured driver slammed into my partners car doing around 190kph a few months ago, the hospital gave her a quick look over and sent her home, she is a shell of her former self, she has been passed from pillar to post with consultants fobbing her to physio and physio passing her back saying she needs surgery. The Irish health system has become just such a head wrecking experience of late, my heart goes out to those needing treatment during the last two years as it seems you always need someone to bat and fight for you when you are in such a vulnerable position in these hospitals.

My Cousins mother in law was in hospital during Covid and said apparently a Doctor walked onto the ward she was on just before they were settling down for the night and said that if anybody over 80 had cardiac arrest during the night, they would not be resuscitating them. What a thing to say and do to people - just because your over 80 you don't deserve a chance?

One particular surgery in South Dublin also comes to mind, the receptionist thinks she is the doctor the way she carries on. An Outwardly rude and obnoxious person - I don't know how the doctor is retaining his patients given the way she speaks to people.

Strumms · 17-10-2021 1:23am

problem with carers really they are under appreciated and under compensated for the work and responsibility they have ...

Bananaleaf · 17-10-2021 1:26am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031146#Comment_118031146

Fair play to you for sharing your experiences. I can't even go there with mine. One is too raw (and is an ongoing case in fact, so it isn't even in my best interest to mention details) and the other is about my dad, who is alive and well, thank God, but I get too angry thinking about what we went through with him to even begin getting into it.

Have also had wonderful experiences with fabulous people in the health service too.

I look after my own health anyway, but the experience I have had with hospitals and family members over the years has shaken me to my core. You really don't want to have to go to a hospital unless you really really need to be there imo

RulesOfNature · 17-10-2021 1:32am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058213374/are-healthcare-workers-becoming-more-rude-and-obnoxious

You were ready to punch someone? And someone annoyed you because they are asian and you couldnt tell if they were a man or woman?

Do you understand how demented and mentally ill you sound? Usually I'd tell you I'd crack your head open on the sidewalk, but it seems you are legitimately sick in the head and in need of medical help from the very people you like to humiliate.

If you want to discuss this issue in real life I'm open to suggestion.

Bananaleaf · 17-10-2021 1:47am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031167#Comment_118031167

I can hardly believe I am writing this sentence, but .... cracking someone's head open on the sidewalk is far more demented than giving them a punch, so I'm not really sure you are best placed to be casting judgements there 🙈

surrender monkey · 17-10-2021 1:52am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031167#Comment_118031167

I don't think they sound demented and mentally ill, I think they sound frustrated and overwrought. Something you would understand if you had the worry of dealing with a patient with dementia it is non stop and can go on literally for years. I hope you never have to experience it in your family.

PalLimerick · 17-10-2021 6:07am

Ireland has a **** health service because of the people that work in it from the top down to the bottom and that includes our God like Nurses. I deal with Nurses five days a week and I've no doubt Nurses contribute to some deaths with their lack of professionalism. They spend a lot of their time online shopping when they are meant to be monitoring seriously ill patients or entering vital data in to computer systems.

They are friendly with managers and they get away with it. Most are horrible people. I must say I've met a few that would go to the World's end for the patient but they are rare. We live in a World where we must not condemn them for fear of the backlash from the clappers and torch shiners. I've reported many and have video and photo footage of their **** carry on which I intend to pass to a journalist or website for a story about their behaviour.

PalLimerick · 17-10-2021 6:08am

.........

PalLimerick · 17-10-2021 6:18am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031167#Comment_118031167

It's not that easy to crack heads Chuck Norris which I'd highly doubt you're capable of anyway Lol. This is a discussion forum not a fight match making service. Grow up Chuck Lol. I've reported your comment for abusive behaviour. Hope you get banned again.

Fitz II · 17-10-2021 7:53am

,.,

listermint · 17-10-2021 8:02am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118028033#Comment_118028033

Empathy ? Lol.

Having worked in various services rolls throughout my years I know people like the OP. Literally got a chip on their shoulder about everything. They roll around feeling they are entitled to everything and will quite happily and openly treat staff like crap with not even a change in their facial expression.

The mistake the OP made here was to say the quiet stuff loud. You don't have to read between the lines here to define someone's obvious character. Asian ... Transgender...foreign nationals...

Give up the foe indignation. There's no defending that. I've no doubt they stood there shouting their feelings at the time loudly as so often the entitled folk do.

Glook

17-10-2021 8:04am

They have really tough jobs at the best of times and they've just been through a pandemic.

I'd understand if they were a little moody with me.

It's called having empathy.

listermint · 17-10-2021 8:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118030806#Comment_118030806

With all due respect. The hospital was not the place for her. As you found out the care home was that place. This should have been a GP to care home .

There is an element of thinking a hospital is a do it all location. It's not.

ednwireland · 17-10-2021 8:10am

my gp isn't any better, although the nurse in the practice is brilliant (blood pressure monitor, ecg) I had bloods done and supposed to get a scan (private ) and absolutely no response from the gp I have to chase them for everything.

I tried moving but no other gp is taking patients.

and dont get me started on the affidea clinic that doesnt answer the phone, healthcare professionals my

.......

if I treated my customers at work like this I would be up in front of management.

although when I did get seriously ill and finally got onto a ward the nurses were brilliant. the less said about the consultant the better.

Tom Mann Centuria · 17-10-2021 8:29am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031252#Comment_118031252

But you're annecdotal evidence is worth as much as mine, fúck all.

notAMember · 17-10-2021 8:44am

I’ve met some fantastic healthcare professionals, the staff dealing with my grandparents Illnesses and deaths were respectful and kind to them and the family. But that was 15 years ago and every interaction I’ve had with the health service since has been brutal. Maternity nurses were almost evil. Grabbing nipples, leaving mothers trapped in bed on cathedars after stitches and wheeling the baby out of their reach. Not checking women for hours when risk of bleeding or death is a risk after childbirth. I wasn’t even surprised when I heard that incident of the woman falling out of bed and resulting in the death of both her and her baby in CUH.

The aftercare my father got after an op was awful. He was roughly man handled into a bed, which damaged a drain put in during an op. I was with him, and did the “excuse me I know you’re very busy but there is a lot of blood coming from the wound, the bed is soaked” … ignored, they were chatting about holiday plans. “Excuse me, can you take a look please, the blood is pooling on the ground” ignored. “FFS he is having a seizure”

3 units of blood later he survived but needed another op to get the drain replaced.

17-10-2021 9:03am

I've been in and out of our hospitals on numerous occasions. This included two extended stays. So I've met a lot of nurses in the course of that time. Only one who was remotely unpleasant and that was pretty brief and small in scheme of things. I've been in scenarios where I've gotten results that had me crying in my bed, the people who talked to me and helped me relax were invariably nurses. I've even had nurses remember me months after I was a patient and say hello. If I ever had concerns or questions, most of the time they acted as the first port of call.

So, overall nurses are bloody fantastic and are constantly dealing with highly unpleasant and difficult situations. They are not well paid for what they do and imho, it's one of the hardest jobs out there.

surrender monkey · 17-10-2021 9:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031341#Comment_118031341

You can't bring a person to a care home who has had a stroke. She had to be brought to a and e and admitted to hospital for care. The hospital would not release her back into the care of her family. You can only get a relative into a care home when a suitable place has been identified. This is how the health care system works

17-10-2021 9:34am

The irony of people judging the op for the kind of person he is but calling him things like a dick and an asshole themselves. What does that make ye then?

Boards hasn't changed much I see. The amount of Bob Loblaws on this site.

AckwelFoley · 17-10-2021 10:04am

It can be a tough sector to be in and remember when covid first hit and we didn't know alot about it,they still had to go to work and face the risks.

That said, they're still not immune from criticism and frankly some of them not would've better served working with wood or stone because people aren't their best suit.

The doctor that told my grandmother she was going to die of stomach cancer

Is there anything more that can be done? As she sobbed- No you're going to die, you're going to have to deal with it

PalLimerick · 17-10-2021 10:48am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031377#Comment_118031377

The proof is in the pudding, go visit an A&E and you will see a **** health service with **** staff from top to bottom.

Nermal · 17-10-2021 11:17am

People respond to incentives.

What incentive do these people have to be nice to you?

What are you going to do - take your business elsewhere?

17-10-2021 11:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031336#Comment_118031336

The op explained early in the thread he deliberately raised the issue of race, and he never said anything about anyone being "transgender" so stop beating that drum over and over to defend the chip on your own shoulder.

Your responses have done an impressive job proving the OPs original post was 100% correct about attitudes. Plenty of posters have now posted that they have had bad experiences, are they all at fault for expecting too much of the people who are supposed to be professionals in their field?

I doubt you have an ounce of empathy left in your body - maybe you once did, but whatever is left is not towards the patients or their carers.

Bananaleaf · 17-10-2021 11:36am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031744#Comment_118031744

What's your answer?

corner of hells · 17-10-2021 12:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031252#Comment_118031252

You do know you can make a complaint about those nurses, especially if you believe they contributed to deaths of patients.

Hippodrome Song Owl · 17-10-2021 12:03pm

No, I can't say I've had many issues like this at all. I have a chronic health condition meaning I attend consultants relatively frequently and have had almost all positive experiences. The nurses have always been particularly kind and caring during any of my hospital stays. I had surgery in August and again it was a completely positive experience with all healthcare professionals. My gp is lovely. I got a same day appointment on Monday this week. I had one overall negative experience in a maternity hospital a few years ago where I felt they were dismissive and patronising in dealing with a gynaecological issue not related to pregnancy or wanting to get pregnant. They were polite but there was clearly a prevailing attitude of not caring about issues unrelated to pregnancy or fertility.

My mother has cancer and several other long term conditions so I have frequently attended appointments with her - again almost universally positive. One of her consultants is very abrupt and I do find her rude. She stands out because of this in comparison to everyone else around her. I have no issues with her medical practice though and in fact find her exceptionally thorough, so I wouldn't like to see my mother change. My mother likes her directness anyway.

Any other negative experiences I have had have been 100% caused by overcrowding and inadequate facilities, not staff. I can only imagine though what a strain it would be to try to deal with such issues while dealing with uncaring or unhelpful healthcare staff. It's a very vulnerable place to be without any additional stress or obstacles.

17-10-2021 12:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031862#Comment_118031862

You sure can but it's not like anyone will believe them or do a thing about it. (even if it were true) In fact, you're practically taking your own life in your hands by raising an issue in the first place.

I worked temporarily in a large acute public hospital in the administration side of things and saw first hand some of the most reprehensible treatment of humanity that I could ever have imagined. I really wish I could say more but obviously, I can't.

corner of hells · 17-10-2021 12:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031937#Comment_118031937

"you're practically taking your own life in your hands by raising an issue in the first place" .

I'm assuming that's a bit of poetic license.

17-10-2021 12:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031956#Comment_118031956

nope

corner of hells · 17-10-2021 12:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118031959#Comment_118031959

Threads just taken a dramatic turn.

Wibbs · 17-10-2021 12:40pm

I was a carer of a relative for over a decade, the first seven years pretty much on my own so have had quite a bit of experience with healthcare and the people in it in this country, or to be more precise in Dublin. Now off the bat this was all before the woo flu pandemic hit. I have no doubt that has added to the stresses, so your mileage may if not will vary if your experiences were in the last 18 months.

I would say most of my experiences were as positive as they could have been. Yes, there were a couple of WTF moments and WTF people but they were the minority. I found the least WTF moments with emergency services. I would really struggle to fault them to be honest. I was initially surprised as we have all heard the stories of people in distress on trolleys in corridors so expected that. I think two factors came into it with my experiences; 1) I was lucky and 2) they were all life and death emergencies in ambulances so we bypassed the waiting room horrors. I did pass through waiting rooms and could see the serious backlog alright. I'd go home to recharge for a few hours and come back to see many of the same people still sitting there, many in obvious distress. Though there were also the drunks and people who could have been seen by a GP types.

In the wards themselves again muppets were rare and of the different branches I would say the doctors were ahead on the percentage of muppets, though again rare enough. I found more men than women in the muppet mix. With many such people I found they were obviously intellectual, but social skills were underdeveloped or missing. High IQ, low EQ sorta thing. I did find that the further up the levels you went the less this tended to be in play. So more junior doctors like this than consultants. The latter requires a fair bit of politics so social skills would be more required I suppose. They were also older of course so maturity would be in play and stress levels have increased over the years and since many of them first qualified so that may be a factor too.

My respite home experiences were more variable. In one case with serious issues I reported that triggered an official enquiry and the results of that made for sobering reading on a few levels, from basic hygiene stuff to a lack of supervision resulting in injuries and emotional stresses. And they had tried to cover it up, even to the point of suggesting me and other reporters were trying to cover our arses. Pity for them that I had kept a record of everything including recording my interactions with some staff members on my phone. In some places there were clearly unqualified people in the staff. People on social welfare training type positions. In full on HSE centres the standards of care were significantly higher. I never noticed any differences between the different nationalities of folks you find in healthcare. One Middle Eastern doctor whose command of english was shockingly bad and an Asian nurse who would respond to a question with a blank smile and little else was all of it. I pointed out the doctor's failings to others in the ward and promptly got another doctor in his stead, no questions asked.

I would say, and especially if you're dealing with someone with dementia, you need to be a constant advocate. If they need help with eating, then you have to be there to do it. It is what it is. The nurses are generally simply to rushed off their feet to be able to sit with one person and hand feed them for half an hour. You also have to have the medical history bullet points in your head and repeat them more often than you think. Details are easy to miss. I do think some sort of "basic training" for those who end up being carers would be a good plan. Otherwise you learn "on the job" which is not ideal for all concerned. Some sort of support(which is nonexistent) after the carer stuff ends another.

cloudatlas · 17-10-2021 12:45pm

Dementia takes a long time to diagnose. We are all waiting long times and having phone consultations. Unfortunately that is just how it is now and it needs to be this way in order to ensure their safety as well as our own. I can understand your frustrations but cool heads prevail. Can you reach out to any support services for carers as you are clearly under a lot of pressure.

17-10-2021 1:13pm

I feel your frustration OP as a fellow carer.

Ive no issue with the doctors, nurses, HCA’s or catering/cleaning staff but the bed managers, occupational therapists, home care co-ordinaters? They just see the patient (or you as their voice) as a hindrance to an easy life.

Bed managers - yeah we know your parent is now paralysed from a severe stroke and has been returned back to this rehab unit by the nursing home you got him into because severe strokes also affect the patient’s behaviour. But he’s a very naughty boy now so we won’t be accepting him into our nursing home unit and neither will anywhere else. So, hand in your notice at your office job as you’re well equipped to deal with the medical requirements that we are washing our hands of. K, thnx, bye!

Occupational Therapist - 3 years after they’re home and they make their 1st house call - “you’re holding him wrong, you’re not putting both your feet on the floor, you shouldn’t be doing it like that you do it like this” makes you cry and feel totally worthless because you know no different and are doing a job that you insist has to be done by two of your own staff.

Home care co-ordinators - “yeah, we’re removing all the home carers that know what to do and where everything is and sending them to other people and giving you agency staff. Why? Because, that’s why. The agency staff haven’t shown up again? They organise their own staff” - in other words - they are completely up ending everybody in the system just so they can pass the buck and feign a not my problem stance.

Im getting stressed just writing this There’s a lot more to it than above. Nobody ever asks the Carer how they are coping or how they are feeling. Do they need anything. And when you rant (like the OP) you have posters with absolutely no understanding of the mental and physical strain you are under just pushing your buttons that little bit more.

Take care OP, wish there was a magic wand that I could pass you for a week.

Are healthcare workers becoming more rude and obnoxious?

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