Are there people still unable to cook?

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 11:48am #1

I think I saw my father cook twice in his life. For the older generation it was certainly normal for the mother/wife to do all the cooking. My mother was and is a terrible cook so I learned to cook from about 13 as a male which was odd among my peers. Now a days I assume everyone know how to cook and does a portion of the cooking in a couple. I was talking to my sister in law's husband and was shocked he mentioned he did none of the cooking and said he didn't know how to do "women's work". He has 3 children and his father lives with them, I can't believe my sister in law agreed to this or put up with it. Somebody in work also mentioned they never cook and his wife did it all again he had children.

Is this normal still?

xabi · 21-10-2021 11:53am

Is your sister in laws husband not your brother? Edit - never mind 😛

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 11:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052832#Comment_118052832

I would never want to call him my brother in any guise he is the guy married to my wife's sister. Some would say he is my brother in law but I won't for this guy

21-10-2021 11:59am

what competence threshold does a person have to pass to be considered “able to cook”? Presumably anyone could do the most basic stuff like boil an egg or pasta.

21-10-2021 12:07pm

There's men who are like that in that they never cook but there's also women who are like that.

Years ago as you said, it was more common for women to do all the cooking but I think nowadays it's way more common for men to cook aswell and I think couples can kind of fall into a habit or pattern where one might cook more often than the other. Sometimes that can be down to someone simply enjoying cooking.

21-10-2021 12:10pm

I can cook about 4 dishes to perfection....

I would like to learn more, but I don't have the skills, and I don't have the time at the moment to put the effort in... also if it's a bit meh, I get flak about it all the time which makes me not want to bother learning anything else...

maybe in a year or two when I have a bit more time ...but for the time being, I just do a bit more of the cleaning

Dial Hard · 21-10-2021 12:11pm

Unwilling to cook =/= unable to cook.

Strumms · 21-10-2021 12:13pm

my cousins daughter can’t cook ( first cousin once removed ?!? ), she is 22 or 23...

intelligent girl, full time job, college degree but when her parents went on holiday and she stayed home she was literally pulling pre cooked meals that her parents made, out of the freezer and microwaving them... spaghetti bolognese she loves and I was telling her how easy that dish is to make and she should try, I’ll write down recipe / ingredients / instructions or YouTube is great but it no, it’s like she’s afraid of blowing up the kitchen.... it’s not laziness as she hasn’t a lazy bone in her body and she’s a smart girl but she can’t get her head around cooking.

I watched my mother cook and now watch a load of stuff on YouTube..I wrote down ingredients, bought them, back to watching it being made and tried myself... still something I’ll do today if I want to learn a new dish.

GLaDOS · 21-10-2021 12:14pm

I do nearly all the cooking. My fiancée wouldn't starve or anything left to her own devices, but has zero passion or aptitude for it

Mr. CooL ICE · 21-10-2021 12:16pm

AFAIK, the majority of my peers cook. Some did it proactively while others were forced to learn after moving away from home. There are a handful that are bad, but they try or just have a handful of things they stick to and don't venture out of their comfort zones.

I'm aware of some people who don't cook and they're all from rural/big farming families where the wife/mother has everything ready when they come in from working on the fields. But this is literally the only demographic I'm aware of that is still like this.

SupplyandDemandZone · 21-10-2021 12:22pm

From the sheer amount of deliveroo etc.. i see on the road i think many people can't or are unwilling to cook.

Beechwoodspark · 21-10-2021 12:31pm

Yeah there’s loads of guys out there (40 + mainly) who can’t/won’t cook and are fine with that.

persoanlly it is completely odd to me. I love cooking and am a fair hand at Irish/Euro/Italian/Asian/Mid East cooking. I’ll basically try anything.

I’d regularly do stuff like sushi for starter then a curry for main or the Sunday roast.

Love it!

Timberrrrrrrr · 21-10-2021 12:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052943#Comment_118052943

This imo is the issue these days, it's just easier to make a call and have it delivered especially if both parents are working and then have to cook for children too.

freshpopcorn · 21-10-2021 12:55pm

I'm okay at cooking and I sort of like it.

However I do understand why some people don't and aren't bothered.

I think most people can get by if they have to and there's a world of videos online now to help.

Some women like playing the housewife and they don't allow the fella do any of the cooking, cleaning etc. They can be very belittling about it to their fella.

In fact they even gossip, criticise and feel sorry for men who have to do housework and they think his wife is a terrible yoke. I'm even talking about women in there 30s.

However in these house men generally do the men jobs.

whisky_galore · 21-10-2021 12:56pm

I can cook reasonably but I take no great interest in it.

gifted · 21-10-2021 1:00pm

I love to cook...at my happiest in the kitchen....3 chick's love it when I cook for them....made these earlier this morning ...sausage rolls...pancakes and chicken thighs....they'll be gone by this afternoon lol lol

20211021_132417.jpg

MissShihTzu · 21-10-2021 1:03pm

I do the cooking in my house. Hubby tries, but he'll happily leave it to me! He did however make a peppercorn sauce for his steak in the pan this week, and was delighted with himself!

Come to that - I do most of the cleaning, and dog stuff too...🙄

CaboRoig · 21-10-2021 2:21pm

Friend of mine is 55 and can't do much beyond make tea, toast and sandwiches. I think it's very strange not to be able to at least throw a basic bit of dinner together.

Ray Palmer · 21-10-2021 2:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052893#Comment_118052893

Like most things you have to practice to be anyway competent so continually not doing something means you can't do it. Sharing responsibility for housework including cooking is just fair especially when both work. So the person I am talking about does all the "manly" jobs like bring out the bins and cut the grass which is nowhere equivalent to the daily tasks he makes his wife do. Other tasks like DIY are not in his skill level he would know how to stab somebody with a screwdriver but not use it for it's correct purpose. He used to be useful for lugging stuff around but being him he damaged his back permanently doing so because he was so "strong" he would attempt brawn over brain. He has his wife cooking for 3 generations of his family and doesn't even do the shopping. Very unbalanced relationship which she allowed happen too but her other sisters wouldn't put up with it at all and their father always cooked while they grew up.

Kintarō Hattori · 21-10-2021 2:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118052914#Comment_118052914

This is exactly the nail on the head for a lot of people. They simply have no interest in cooking and will do the bare minimum or eat mostly pre-prepared meals.

Born in the lates 70s, I grew up in a household where my Dad went to work and my mother cooked. The kitchen was her domain and she had no interest in making sure her kids knew how to cook. When the time came for me to leave home I asked to be shown the basics and was told no. Leaving home I initially existed on the likes of noodles and campbells meatballs before a flatmate showed me some very basic recipes. This spurred me on to looking for a cookbook which seemed easy to follow and provided plenty of recipes. Over two decades later I still have it and use it.

In my home it's primarily myself that does the cooking. My partner can cook but she's the sort of person who believes everything can be cooked in 30 minutes or less.

Jequ0n · 21-10-2021 2:30pm

In my experience people who claim to be “unable” to cook are simply too lazy to do it.

I find them less annoying than people who think they are amazing cooks just because they can heat up a frozen meal.

Valhallapt · 21-10-2021 2:39pm

I can't cook, except for the odd BBQ and occasional steak. No interest in learning / aptitude for doing it. We eat out a lot, probably explains why I can't shift the Covid weight :-). I wish I had an interest, but its just a chore I dislike.

magicbastarder · 21-10-2021 2:51pm

for a couple of years after i moved out of my folks house (i was living on my own), nearly every time i called around to see my parents, my mother would have 5 or 6 tupperware containers with food already cooked for me to bring home for the freezer. i kept asking her not to do it, but her reaction was 'i'm just looking after my son'.

it probably sounds like i'm blaming my mother.

DublinWriter · 21-10-2021 3:19pm

Horses for courses.

I've limited cooking skills, but my wife is a pretty good cook.

However, I do all the laundry and ironing in the house. It's shocking the amount of Irish guys that can't even operate a washing machine and are still bringing back the sack of washing for the mammy at the weekend.

GLaDOS · 21-10-2021 3:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118053717#Comment_118053717

Upbringing has a lot to do with it I imagine, my older sister always included me in cooking as a kid and that definitely stuck with me into adulthood.

21-10-2021 3:38pm

Im a fairly mediocre cook but can nevertheless try my hand at most things and do ok. Only two poisonings. I mostly cook at home but it’s very simple fare, which I like anyway. Sometimes I’ll download a somewhat difficult menu to prove to myself I’ve still got it. Where it is a mediocre ability to cook.

Oranage2 · 21-10-2021 3:39pm

I've an American friend who wouldn't have clue about cooking, pouring milk into a crafts Mac and cheese was gastromy to him. He even moved his mother to China so she'd cook for him

21-10-2021 3:39pm

I'm a really good cook, but don't enjoy it much. Still I do most of the foods in our house

21-10-2021 3:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058214166/are-there-people-still-unable-to-cook

Historically, mother's did the cooking, but dad always cooked the best fry up.

freshpopcorn · 21-10-2021 3:55pm

@Ray Palmer maybe he's very good in other areas of the relationship?

21-10-2021 5:25pm

Pretty much all of my friends cook. We were all talking about what we were making during lockdown.

Both my girlfriend and I enjoy it, and while we each cook solo for us, we usually cook together. Somehow never any drama or fuss and it's just an enjoyable thing to do.

Wouldn't like to be in a relationship with someone who couldn't cook or wouldn't cook. And would hate to not be able to do it myself. Whatever about our parents, but we all have videos and recipes at our fingertips.

Mad_maxx · 21-10-2021 9:29pm

I can cook the following

1. Roast chicken dinner - roast potatoes ,carrots, peppers

2 . Spaghetti Bolognese

3 . Steak and chips.

I've just never bothered learning to cook anything more ,as others have said it's laziness, I've a pretty vanilla pallete though.

Partner is a good cook ,I do most of the cleaning in house though

Lewis_Benson · 21-10-2021 9:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118053265#Comment_118053265

AVB...

poisonated · 21-10-2021 9:41pm

i can cook very basic things but I don’t have the patience. I prefer to just either use deliveroo or go to restaurants. I know not everyone can afford that.

StupidLikeAFox · 21-10-2021 9:58pm

Once you cook a few recipes you get into a groove. Curries, stew and spag bol - all basically the same process with different ingredients

Turn heat to high and
Brown meat (5 mins)
Turn down to medium
Soften onions (5 mins)
Add additional veg (5 mins)
Add herbs and/or spice (2 mins)
Add meat & liquid (i.e. stock/crushed tomatoes) & Simmer for x mins
Combine with a carb (rice/pasta/potatoes as appropriate)

Learn that one recipe and you are set for life. Experiment with the spices/herbs and veg for endless opportunities

21-10-2021 11:23pm

I'm a mammy nuff said. Like most mammies there's cooking being a chore and cooking being a passion and it wasn't until I was cooking for just me that it became an enjoyable thing do to. I also do all the other things like putting out the bins and cutting the grass and changing lightbulbs etc., similarly these things are done out of necessity. I did learn to enjoy diy in the same way as cooking though, as something I do for myself rather than as a service for my family. (I don't have one so it's just for personal pleasure) Think I'm equally yoked with the male/female thing.

Oranage2 · 21-10-2021 11:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118055484#Comment_118055484

If you can roast chicken then you can do a roast beef dinner, roast pork dinner etc, also if you add cumin and Chili to your spaghetti bolognese and add rice you've got chili con carne. And if you can do steak and chips then you can do grilled fish and chips, pork chop and chips etc

So there's quite a lot more you can do.

Sgt Hartman · 22-10-2021 5:46am

I love to cook, and I can be very creative with leftovers so there's hardly ever any food waste in my house. I baked a nice ham last Saturday and used the leftovers to make a creamy ham and veggie pie topped with mash on Sunday.

I did have a house mate before who lived off of Goodfellas pizzas and another one who would burn everything he cooked. He would leave potatoes simmering in a pot while he went off in his car to do something, and all the water would boil away leaving the potatoes glued to the inside of the pot. I saved his dinner plenty of times by adding water to his potatoes and turning off the oven after he went away somewhere and forgot about it.

Mad_maxx · 22-10-2021 7:00am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118055844#Comment_118055844

I'm sure I could, just never bothered ( yet)

Bigmac1euro · 22-10-2021 7:55am

After my mother passed myself my dad and my brother were forced to cook and had never really cooked before.

myself and my brother became competitive and both became fairly good cooks. My dad who never lifted a finger cooking or cleaning actually became good at both.

all 3 of us have kind of gone our separate ways and mainly do the cooking in each household.

id consider myself a fairly good cook. My other half couldn’t cook up until about 6 months ago she started chopping veg with me and before I knew it she is now cooking really well with small guidance from me, I considered her lazy for years before this.

I think some people just need a little push.

jack of all · 22-10-2021 8:28am

Both myself and my wife can cook and cook very well. I was never let near the kitchen growing up and it wasn't until I left home that I learned to cook out of necessity. I think it's an essential life skill and so important. I've met plenty of people who can't/ won't cook and I can never understand it- in the main I've found that they tend not to be bothered have no great interest in food and see it as fuel whereas I regard good food as one of life's great pleasures.

Feisar · 22-10-2021 10:09am

Cooking is a piece of piss once ya figure out the difference between food frying or just steaming in it's own juices on the pan.

tscul32 · 22-10-2021 10:18am

I'm a reasonably good cook and my other half is not bad either. The house cooking is closer to 50 50 now that he's working from home. He wouldn't have been let cook at home growing up, his mam did it all whereas I did a bit at home as a teen. The other half was interested though so I taught him. But he's interested in food and you need that to enjoy cooking.

I have 3 sons and want them all to be capable of preparing a meal. All cooked scrambled/fried eggs from around 6 or 7. The 9yo does eggs, toast, and has a bit if interest but not loads. The almost 16 yo did home ec in school and can prepare a tasty lasagne but he has zero interest. He'd live off goodfellas pizzas if he was left alone, despite being able to cook. No interest in food either,it's just fuel. The 13yo though is a serious foodie like his parents. At 10 he made a Thai green curry for his gran's birthday, completely from scratch, completely by himself. If I'm doing a Bolognese for dinner I can ask him to make it and it'll be lovely. He'll cook lunch for himself and his brothers. But they can all bake by themselves (9yo asks for help with the oven). Oldest can bake cookies and the 13yo again is great, regularly makes soda breads, has made yeast breads, can do cookies, cupcakes no bother.

My dad's cooking is limited to grilling a steak or burger or doing a fry. That's all he'll do if my mam's not there (or he comes to me).

trashcan · 22-10-2021 10:20am

I like to cook, cos I like to eat ! I really don’t get the mystery around it, or the whole “can’t cook” thing. But I suppose with so many ready meals available in the supermarkets, plus takeaways, some people just can’t be bothered. You’ve a much healthier diet if you’re mostly preparing your own food from scratch though. There’s very little I won’t have a go at making. Baking though, that’s another story. Can’t really see the point in that.

heretothere · 22-10-2021 10:40am

I do all of the cooking in our house. I enjoy cooking though and if I do say so myself I am pretty good at it, I like to experiment and I couldn't tell you the last time I bought a premade sauce (curry/ pasta etc). Also, I wfh it so makes more sense as my husband might not be in until 6.30/7pm and needs to shower straight away (he's a farmer) so it might be 7.30pm until he could even put something on which is the time we normally eat.

He wasn't living at home when we meet and didn't starve but also didn't eat much outside of the realm of burgers/ sausages/ steak and frozen chips, getting dinners in the pub and take away. The first meal he ever cooked for me was absolutely horrendous! And no he didn't do it on purpose to get out of ever having to cook again, it was for a full farm work crew.

Feisar · 24-10-2021 8:03pm

Cookbooks annoy me, they assume one knows how to cook already. Recipes are not cooking skills.

Potential-Monke · 24-10-2021 8:05pm

I like cooking, but I hate the effort, if that makes sense. I can do some cooking, but I'm terrible to make my own sauces. If I'm cooking for myself, I usually use those Amoy Stir in sauces if it's Asian based. And living with the parents who are quite old school when it comes to food, it's literally eggs or a fry for breakfast, and spuds, veg and meat for dinner. So never anything too hard.

I had a hankering for General Tso's chicken last night. The only place I'm aware of that sells it is Wokking in Limerick, never seen it anywhere else. I think it goes by other names. Anyway, in order to make that, I need chilli, hoisin, sesame oil, brown sugar, rice vinegar, chicken stock/broth, soy sauce, cornflour, ginger, garlic, chilli flakes. Some of those things I would have anyway, but brown sugar, hoisin, ginger and rice vinegar would need to be bought just for this dish, and would be gone off by the next time I think to use them. So my problem really is planning. I don't do planning. And I'm terrible to plan more than 2 days ahead, because I don't like doing reheated food (save for stew and curry).

So yeah, I can cook, but I'm terrible at planning. And the effort sometimes isn't worth it. I'm also one of those people who thinks most of what I make is meh.

24-10-2021 8:32pm

Like others have mentioned, everyone can cook, it's more so a question of whether or not they have an interest in it. There are some skills you build over time, like memorising certain recipes, or developing knife skills etc., but even without any skill at the end of the day anyone can still get the food on the plate.

Psychlops · 24-10-2021 9:03pm

Can cook but have no interest in it, all that prep for how long it takes to eat it maybe under 10mins.

Ash.J.Williams · 24-10-2021 9:12pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118053091#Comment_118053091

Yeah I know a builder that falls to pieces when his wife goes away but in his defence the chap isn’t allowed cook when she’s there and she would freeze dinners etc

corner of hells · 24-10-2021 9:14pm

I house shared years ago before I got married , the four of us in the house used share the cooking .

I came home from work one winters night and walked into the kitchen to see one of my housemates with a full chicken sitting in a frying pan thinking this was how you cooked a roast chicken.

Are there people still unable to cook?

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