Arguing over where to live

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 9:31pm #1

Myself and my husband bought a house last March to be closer to my mother for our baby that arrived last June. Its been great apart from the fact that we are being harrassed by local teenagers. They kick our door constantly causing damage, we have put up multiple cctv cameras, given statements to the guards etc. Nothing has changed and this has been going on since we moved in. My husband wants to sell up and move to anywhere else, its causing huge arguments between us, I dont want to move because of the family support and the fact house prices are crazy, I am also pregnant at the moment and dont want the stress of moving to a random part of the country. i dont know what to do.

Upforthematch · 29-10-2021 11:23pm

Do you have any neighbours you can talk to?

You can find out are the kids targeting everyone or just you and perhaps why...

Unless you're at the 'petrol bomb through the front window' stage then moving again sounds a bit ridiculous.

This worry is doing you and your new baby no good though, at least if you two could agree to stick it out until the baby comes it would give you one less thing to think about.

listermint · 29-10-2021 11:27pm

Move. There's nothing to be gained from staying where you are. Your husband is right and the longer you leave it the deeper into pregnancy you get. Be practical.

I see sheep · 29-10-2021 11:31pm

Surely you can move but still stay close to your family?

It's probably either that or your husband and his friends catch them and give them a hiding.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092518#Comment_118092518

A few others in our estate have sold up and moved for the same reasons. We know it's not just us.

By the time we got our house sold and found another house to buy I'd imagine the baby will already be here. We know from experience that this side of Christmas is a bad time to buy or sell

lawrencesummers · 29-10-2021 11:33pm

Get a gate.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:34pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092533#Comment_118092533

The baby is due at the very start of next year so realistically I don't see us being able to sell our house and find a new one to buy before we have the baby

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092570#Comment_118092570

We can't. Our door literally opens out onto the street

I see sheep · 29-10-2021 11:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092579#Comment_118092579

You could just sell and rent for a year til you find a new house.

Big Bag of Chips · 29-10-2021 11:37pm

@I see sheep warned for advising violence against children.

miserablelivinghere · 29-10-2021 11:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092601#Comment_118092601

Renting isn't an option. Renting in our area is more than double what our mortgage costs us. If you can even find somewhere. I only work part time we can't afford double our mortgage

Big Bag of Chips · 29-10-2021 11:45pm

@I see sheep, I've deleted your latest post. As per the Forum Charter

Suggesting violence or advising a poster to break the law as a problem solver will result in an instant forum ban.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt with regards to your first post.

Remember you are posting in Personal Issues and a very specific charter applies to this forum.

Any poster unfamiliar with this forum should read the charter.

Hannibal_Smith · 30-10-2021 9:34am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092638#Comment_118092638

If you've a newborn at home and another on the way, teenagers kicking your door in and you have actually done everything (reported it to the Gardai, followed the advice they gave you, given them the pictures from the cctv) then you move.

The new baby won't be due until Feb/March? You've plenty of time.

It's not ideal, but two small infants living in a home with the door being kicked in isn't the better option.

appledrop · 30-10-2021 9:47am

Realistically you haven't a hope of moving before baby is born and you hardly want the stress of setting up views etc at the moment.

Selling might not be too hard as no stock out there but finding somewhere else to move to would be another story.

I think it would be better if yourself and husband agreed you will have to stay for now but will look into moving in future if things don't improve.

You say your installed cctv cameras and linked with the guards but nothing has changed. What has the response of guards actually been? It's not true nothing can be done. Yes they are juveniles but they can be assigned JLO who can impose cautions on them to improve their behaviour.

miserablelivinghere · 30-10-2021 9:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118093116#Comment_118093116

This is basically my argument, theres no way it will happen before this baby comes so I dont want the stress coming of organising viewings etc, I know we would probably sell the house no problem its finding somewhere else in our budget thats the issue.

When it happened last night they said they would send someone around and didnt, we have sent numerous videos, they havent even identified who they are

appledrop · 30-10-2021 10:07am

I thought as much. Basically the guards are doing nothing which is not good enough.

Keep following up with them and I'd be getting onto local Policitician aswell to voice your concerns, more about lack of reaction from guards rather than teenagers themselves.

neenam · 30-10-2021 10:48am

+1 politician. I've been in touch with my td re getting a relative into a nursing home, work in progress.

Would ye consider getting something like an iron gate put in front of the door, might at least help with the kicking issue.

30-10-2021 1:27pm

Be sure to tape up your letterbox from the inside tonight. Its banger season.

I don't know, I think the stress of having teenagers kicking my door would be worse then the stress of setting up viewings.

I'd move if at all possible. And in the interim, I'd harass the gardai each and every time it happens, and stress each time you call that you're pregnant, and scared.

However, if they're minors, there probably isn't much they can do. Ask for a meeting with the Junior Liasion Officer for your area, if there is one. They are more likely to be able to identify the culprits.

But if other neighbours have had leave before, odds are its unlikely to improve for you anytime soon, and next year you'll have two infants while your door is being kicked.

I definitely start the ball rolling on a move, on the condition that your husband takes on all the work of setting up for viewings, etc.

jackboy · 30-10-2021 1:33pm

The guards and politicians won’t do anything.

in a few years time these teenagers will be kicking lumps out of your children rather than the door. Sell up.

Supercell · 31-10-2021 10:23am

We bought our first house when herself was 7 months pregnant. I did most of the viewings, she was happy enough to look at pictures for the most part.

The stress of the little scrotes kicking in the door must be far worse than any move I'd have thought. As jackboy says above, what about when your own kid arrives, will the scrotes leave them alone, or even worse they pal up with them and become a waster themselves?

Move, the sooner the better for everyone.

zoobizoo · 01-11-2021 12:40pm

It's often a case that they just want the reaction.

Would you recognise them yourselves if you saw them during the day? If so you could see what school they're in and go down that route.

Is it just your house that is being targeted or are others enduring the same?

01-11-2021 12:48pm

There are some areas you just shouldn't live in, no matter what.

I'd move. Cut your losses.

daheff · 01-11-2021 12:54pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092570#Comment_118092570

Get a big dog

Housefree · 01-11-2021 12:58pm

Are you running out and shouting at them etc? Usually people who give them a reaction get all their attention, try ignoring them for a while

SupplyandDemandZone · 01-11-2021 1:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118092562#Comment_118092562

This is what would have happened years ago and the on the very slim chance it was reported the Gardai would have looked the other way. Now the little f cuks have everything on their side and you'd end up in court or worse.

Actually had a anti social element gang of scummers from Hillview (a known trouble spot in Dublin) begin to hang out and cause trouble in our estate when i was a kid until a group of around 5 local men including a fireman and a guard gave a them a kicking back one evening in the 80's after one of them thought doing a dump in an elderly woman's porch was a good idea. They didn't return.

Unfortunately OP i'd be moving personally as solutions like the above are long gone and the law isn't on your side.

BronsonTB · 01-11-2021 1:03pm

Replace the front door / reinforce the front door - Insure it is secure & they are not getting through it!

You won't find the garda doing anything until they commit a serious crime (and even then it will be limited)

Law is on the kids side (Provided they are all under 18)

(Make sure you can identify & know where each one lives, just for you own records)

If they are in council houses, complain to the council, have it on record.

If they are in provate housing, complain to your local politicions.

Make a note of every incident & report to the garda anyway.

Encourge other neightbours to do the same.

Only chance of change if collectiviely they & their families are affected by thier kids actions.

Sounds like poor parenting too.

Tork · 01-11-2021 1:12pm

OP, I think it's time to cut your losses and try to sell. I've lived somewhere I wasn't happy with (thankfully, only renting) and it is something that starts to get in on you. You can do anything you want to your house but if you're not at ease in the area, you'll never settle. Sorry for being so pessimistic but that's my opinion.

01-11-2021 1:32pm

I mean, if you need to put a cage on your front door and windows then maybe it's a sign to leave.

the_pen_turner · 01-11-2021 2:35pm

Sell up , the stress is not worth that.

Zcould you move in with family for a while until you find a new place.

Or rend your house out to even worse scumbags and they will sort it for you

ted1 · 01-11-2021 2:45pm

Move out, rent that house and rent yourself a different house.

thefallingman · 01-11-2021 3:02pm

Have you seen who the teenagers are, set up a camera or keep an eye out the window. That's the key to ending this, once you know the leader get the gardai and go to his parents house. Did it start over any sort of incident ?

miserablelivinghere · 01-11-2021 3:36pm

It didn't start over anything. It's literally just because our door opens on the street so it's easy to kick our door and run. It happens to several other houses in our estate.

We don't know who they are. They seem to be maybe 16/17, it's whatever gang is passing the house. Not even the same ones each time. We don't give chase they run off immediately. So it's not the reaction they are after

thefallingman · 01-11-2021 4:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118102240#Comment_118102240

ok this might help, there's a thread on cork city on boards here about a tik tok challenge there is a link in it, basically the challenge is to kick front doors as hard as they can, so i don't think this is a personal attack, hopefully that settles your worry, i'm sure it will blow over. I do have a suggestion for you, put a load of real heavy duty grease on the door and the poor lambs will have their runners ruined ! No way i'd move in your position hang in there and good luck with the baba.

thefallingman · 01-11-2021 4:58pm

Here is the thread and opening comments with link

Hi. I live out the blackrock/mahon area and this has happened to me twice in the last few weeks. It happened on a Saturday night two weeks ago and I thought it was just random messing but it happened again last night. It is extremely unsettling as the kicks are full force and vibrate the whole house; I am worried they will break the door if it keeps happening.

I did some research online and I'm pretty sure it's related to this tiktok challenge - https://www.ladbible.com/news/news-police-across-uk-are-investigating-a-new-tiktok-heartbeat-challenge-20211028

Has anyone else experienced this in the area?

Bargain_Hound · 01-11-2021 5:24pm

Move. We bought in an estate with anti social behaviour, caused havoc between us as a couple, but eventually sold and moved and never been happier. We actually ended up moving close to family too. Very stressful but never looked back.

miserablelivinghere · 01-11-2021 5:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118102739#Comment_118102739

We've watched them on camera and they don't seem to ever be recording it, literally just kicking it as hard as they can and running. We've gotten a ring doorbell to hopefully capture faces and have put up a cctv sign so hopefully that'll help for now

Dial Hard · 01-11-2021 6:14pm

So are they kicking the door, or kicking it in? There's a big difference, imo. One is annoying and yes, distressing but the other is on a completely different level.

If it's the latter I'd be on the "just move" side of the equation too, but if it's the former I'd be inclined to agree with you and try and wait it out.

TheW1zard · 01-11-2021 6:23pm

Listen to your husband

shesty · 01-11-2021 8:15pm

This happened in our estate a few months ago.

I am not advocating this, as I don't think it's legal, but the houses affected put a CCTV video up on a local FB page and made the point about it.It was taken down, but seen by quite a few first - the main offender's mother got wind of it and dragged her teenager over to make an apology the day after the video went up.

I also saw a few weeks later that someone put a post up on a local page about having the CCTV footage from their camera, and that they would be passing the footage on to the Gardai, if the offending continued.That may also be an avenue to explore.

Otherwise, I do think you meed to seriously consider moving over the next 12 months.

Caranica · 01-11-2021 11:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118101848#Comment_118101848

The worst advice on this thread by a mile. Being a landlord is beyond stressful, seeing other people destroy what was your home is the most devastating thing ever, and it's not as rare as you'd like to think. Income tax and other rental expenses are huge. And that's before they try to find somewhere to rent themselves. So difficult across the country.

ted1 · 01-11-2021 11:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118104678#Comment_118104678

if things calm down they can move back. Selling would cost them a couple of k in legal fees and estate agent fees.

I’m a landlord I know the drawbacks.

zoobizoo · 03-11-2021 10:57am

It's not targeted so that's good. It isn't a personal campaign against you which would be very distressing and hard to get past.

If they're kicking doors, they may soon get bored of it.

Is there any residents association / neighbourhood watch on your street? If it's happening to 10 houses (for example) then 2 adults from each household hanging around outside the houses for a couple of hours each night would be a detterent.

The metal grille idea would be an option for sure.

joeguevara · 04-11-2021 3:27am

Luckily there is very little anti-social behaviour like you described on our street. There is the odd nick-nack from the kids but nothing serious. The only time it happened was to my next door neighbour a couple of months ago where someone booted the door and damaged it. She had one of those door bells with a camera that recorded the incident. She put the footage on her Facebook and he was identified. The Gardai were involved and he had to pay for the damage to the door. Unsure if it will go further.

Its a very difficult situation. The more you do by confronting the perpetrators the more likely that they will continue but if they know they will be recorded in the act it may be a deterrent. But the risk is if they are determined to make your life a living hell they may just hide their face. If it’s happening to neighbours too, a neighbourhood watch is a good idea.

hope it stops soon and good luck with your new arrival.

Bobtheman · 05-11-2021 9:00pm

Firstly I would contact all your local TDs. Complain to them.

Then I would complain to garda ombudsman. Say this issue is not being dealt with.

If all that fails then put the house on the market and then move.

The likelihood is you would have to rent for six months.

But even if that creates debt its worth it.

Sleepy · 09-11-2021 12:15pm

Have you a window above the door? Could you lay in wait with a bucket of ice water for a few evenings?

10-11-2021 1:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118124843#Comment_118124843

You would let your decision to move or not rest on the efficacy of TDs and the Garda Ombudsman?

Are you being serious?

The TD and GO will do nothing. Because they and everyone knows it's not like they can spend our resources protecting privately owned front doors. TDs can't even deal with the stuff they should deal with, let alone become vigilantes.

Arguing over where to live

Comments