What's the etiquette here??

Left the Carina E running in the carpark as she takes notions and decides not to start..

Had another bout of the Type 1's and nothing was moving for a good few days despite dietary supplements of fruit crumble, brown bread and lots of water.

Got fed up and went to local chemist to see what modern medicine had to offer. Came out with a pack of Dulcolax. Very small and underwhelming tablets but I took one before bed as directed.

Next morning you could definitely tell something was happening by the strange gut feeling and 5-second long farts.

Shortly after in work, I felt a twitch in badge so off to the work facilities I strolled...

Breaking the crust wasn't as bad as initially expected and it was rapidly followed by a copious quantity of semi-solid midden.Jesus, Mary & The Carpenter - what was left in the bowl resembled nothing short of a sandcastle! It stood proud for a few glorious moments before collapsing under it's own weight and falling through maybe 90 degrees leaving a large skid mark on the sides. The bang was that bad I think I could actually see it as well as smell it.

Clean up required half a roll and 3 flushes but I felt brand new afterwards.

Cleaner in that office is a sound skin so I made sure to brush away all traces. Fair is fair.

I have lovely pasta and meatballs last night with a good sprinkling of habanero sauce. It didn't quite smell so good coming out the other end in the jacks at work this morning. It was still very hot and spicy but not in a good way, and it left me with a bad case of ring sting all morning 😣

Any interest lads?

One of the parents up at the school was getting an extension built while we had restrictions. Team of Polish lads, arrive in the morning, bring their lunch with them, leave in the afternoon. They were very covid conscious, didn't come into the house, just got their work done and left. They were popping into the bushes across the road to piss, no biggie.

One of her kids comes over to the house one day saying that they're after standing in dog **** in the bushes. Sure enough, **** on the kids' shoe. Except it doesn't really smell like dog ****. It smells worse. Suspicious, she goes over to the bushes, and sure enough, a considerable gathering of human faeces in the bushes.

She had noticed some of the builders taking an extended break in the bush-jacks, but it was only now it dawned on her.

Not a bother on them, when she said it to them, they were insistent that they would not "violate her home" and they didn't mind sh1tting in the bushes. She eventually convinced them just to come in and use the fvcking toilet. :D

A good reason to use Irish tradesmen over the Polish boys. If we were chiting outdoors on a job we would always bury the few dungs and TP before we would leave . Or better still line a tall bucket (jointing compound bucket is a nice size ) with a used cement bag ,do your business . Then roll up the bag and fire it in the skip . No trace left on site at all then .....

Should be some bloom on those bushes come spring, S.

I was in Toronto recently at a family wedding and coming home I was in the airport and I needed a slash. Strolled into the toilets and both urinals were occupied (3 out of service with social distancing etc). No problems says I, I'll use the can.

Now lads this is a mortal sin. The bottom of the door was about 12 -14 inches up from the ground and the door itself was like a half door in a bar in a spaghetti western.

A decent dwarf could stroll underneath it and anyone over 6ft could look over the top. Disgraceful. Thank god I was only in for a hit and miss. There is no way you could sit in peace and coil one out with the bare minimum hiding your modesty.

Legend has it that the manager of a wind turbine manufacturing plant in Galway, done the very same and sawed the doors of the cubicles in half to deter the guys taking long visits to the jacks on company time.

I imagine making eye contact with Pat from the welding department while he's sitting on the bog after a heavy weekend is an awkward moment

They say it could have sommit to do with …erm….. irregular activities in the stalls.

If the boss or owner sees two sets of legs in the compartment.

If they see a large brown bag from ‘American Eagle’ or ‘Basement Bargains ‘ you can bet some fcukker is standing in it I was told.

Strange kernts….

I was in a "dive bar" in Venice Beach back in 2002,and the cubicles had no doors on them!!!!! And in fairness to the place,the toilet area was fairly clean.Could'nt figure it out,but made sure I'd dropped the Cosby's off at the pool before going out on the gargle.

I was in a bar in Long Island that had urinals as usual and a bowl in the opposite corner with no stall or screen around it. Fair play to anyone who could overcome stage fright and log out there.

Jesus, I think I was in this bar too, bit of a rock/indie music bar. Stainless steel toilet on one side facing the urinals. You could lock the door on the whole toilet if you needed a shite but that locked everyone else out if they needed a piss!