Exploiting narcissists.

Would you not prefer to just have a fair and healthy dynamic with them? They're not single minded robots. You can keep your good boundaries and stay as detached as you'd like from them as far as needed to make it healthy and suitable. If you find they have no interest at all in that (Extremely rare).. then just go your separate way and enjoy your own fruits/needs without dragging someone else into it.

I would second Alberta64's question. Who do you think narcissist's are? If they are what I think they are, the way to deal with them is to mind your own business and let them bask in their own perfect self image. No need for you to get involved.

But it seems you have some other definition of a narcissist?

How does a person fall victim to a narcissist? I would be more afraid of psychopaths.

Probably by replying to one of their threads they create on boards.

Lucky you. One of my business partners is a narcissist.

One thing that they cannot abide is thinking that they are NOT in control of you. Despite being a good person, with a good heart (at times), he is oblivious to the emotions of others and constantly abuses people. Manipulation and temper tantrums are the order of the day. With me they simply do not work. Quick fire tempers, personal abuse and trying to manipulate any situation has seen me become more and more hardened to the stupidity of his personality. Staff hate him, customers avoid him, yet when in the "social" side of the job he is charming and outgoing.

The ONLY way to deal with him, is to be direct, forceful and shock the hell out of him. The fact he has no power over me and if I leave, the business fails means he is now on the backfoot. He will deflect anger to others, so I am constantly battling making people happy in the office and protecting them. Its not easy.

Narcissism is one of the most annoying types of human being, they are fully functional, normally higher intellect and twist and turn any argument to suit themselves. Empathy is not part of the intellectual make-up. Dealing with them can wear you down, UNLESS you can attack and play them at their own game. It has taken me years, but now I am in that position of dealing with a narcissist.

As a person my business partner is (out of the office) warm and engaging, generous to all, has "some" very good qualities, yet destroys it with his inability to see other people's points of view, has zero empathy and is argumentative for no reason what-so-ever.

Many cannot handle a narcissist, dealing with them is so different than dealing with an ordinary person.

In a workplace situation, what would specific characteristics of a narcissist be? Taking credit for others' work, never being wrong, being an expert on everything, constantly bullsh*tting and trying to one up others, being a Walter Mitty? In that case I've come across a few, they are constantly ridiculed behind their backs and occasionally made to look stupid in meetings. It can be useful to form uneasy alliances with them though and gain their trust while at the same time agreeing with those who ridicule them.

I think NSAman may be dealing with a psychopath.

I was just going by the description given by NSAman. There is a lot more material there to puzzle you.

My confidence level is less than you think. That is why I said may be.

You are able to recognise people on Boards "who genuinely seem to think that they have the skill to recognise disorders". I applaud your talent.

To a degree you are dealing with a psychopath.

The person in question had a very unorthodox upbringing. His behaviour has been enabled all his life. Most would be terrified to deal with him, BUT.... always a but.... the guy has lots or redeeming qualities. He cannot stand that he has no power over me at this stage. This terrifies him. I can use that to my advantage but I don't. I have many people that I employ who it would make very difficult for. He is intellectually incredible. A smart man, VERY smart...however, his people skills leave a LOT to be desired. He is a fantastic friend (he will do ANYTHING to help others) but gets taken advantage of all the time.

I actually feel sorry for him in many respects. Ultimately he is a very good person, yet this side of him is just awful. People in my opinion are inherently good. The fact his upbringing has caused some of this personality disorder means if I can deal with it, I will.

Believe me, some days it is a nightmare. However, for his sake and my sake and everyone that works with us, I can be nasty or nice depending on the situation required. It has taken me years to figure this out.

Spoken like a true Narcissist.. ;)

If you want to exploit a narcissist, you should play on their feelings of self-importance, reinforcing their delusions and gaining favour by making you less repugnant to the narcissist than others who do not appreciate the narcissist's brilliance. However, in my eyes, this would make you a manipulative psycho.

From https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_are_the_nine_traits_of_a_narcissist/article_em.htm:

How Is Narcissism Diagnosed?

Narcissistic personality disorder (narcissism) is diagnosed using The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) criteria. A person must meet five of nine of the following traits for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance 
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. Belief that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
4. Requires excessive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement
6. Is interpersonally exploitative – takes advantage of others
7. Lacks empathy
8. Envies others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes

I think you have to reach out in kindness to the ones you think are in the wrong.

Even narcissists have feelings. And they don't deserve game playing.

I know one true narcissist. How she interacted with her children was chilling. They are shaped for life by her actions. She blames anybody and everybody for everything in her life that she does not like. Absolutely no personal responsibility and endless deflection. And the desire to control their father was at the root of everything. When he left her and she 'lost' control of him, she almost allowed it to kill her. So yes, 'taking' control of oneself away from a narcissist will always unhinge them. However, if you are embroiled with this person in either a family or business partnership and cannot escape them, then this will inevitably lead to further woes for you. I think NSAman's description of his business partner sounds spot on. I cannot say that this woman is 'evil' or 'malicious' - she is well able to be charming to others and to have others believe her side of stories, but the desire to control others, both physically and how they think, is compulsive. The greatest tool her husband ever had against her was his indifference to her. It may not have been completely true, but if he gave her the impression he was indifferent to whatever she was up to at any given time, it was by far the most effective way of disempowering her. She would happily engage in conflict for ever more than to face his indifference.