How important is a man's job when it comes to dating?

A high earning person would be seen as a good provider, a good-looking person would be seen as healthy. Instinct would dictate that we look for something of these in our partners for reproducing and rearing a family; in order for the species to survive and thrive.

Personally I find men who brag or even subtly brag about money a complete turn off.

Genuinely...I don't want to be some yuppy wife drinking procecco or whatever it is being 'given' choices like what kitchen tiles to choose though I do love doing up my home and buying little things for the place lol but not like that

Most women I know just want a relationship where they can have fun.

I would say there are some who have turned cynical after being hurt and will probably settle for the next best thing which is someone who earns a bit of money even if they do also earn a good living..for a more comfortable life.

And using that search term I was similarly unable to find any support for the original statistic either. I still can't. And you refuse to give it too despite being asked repeatedly. You just threw a link in to a completely different larger statistic instead. And now you are once again going back to throwing out insults which is poor form and seems more like a smoke screen than anything else. You have been treated respectfully and cordially by me - maybe return the favour. Insults make you look bad - not me.

I did not suggest you were a "liar" either. You are really over reacting here and starting to get a bit shrill. Once again - you cited a number and asked for an explanation of that number. To answer that question - seeing the actual number in situ would be required. But you for whatever reason do not want that to happen. You've decided to keep the source of the figure secret. I do not get why.

However even then it is a really bad idea to take a general single point statistic or two over a large population and simply assume a 1:1 answer explaining it. Referring to Hypergamy in Evolution might make a pretty little story to explain such a statistic of that sort - but the social sciences are rarely that simplistic and generally "it's a bit more complicated than that" is a mantra they will run to often.

There is any number of reasons that would together lend explanations to such statistics as you keep bringing up about how women tend to marry people who earn around the same as them or above them. The link you did provide (eventually) gave some ideas there. They tied a large part of the explanation to the effects of traditional gender roles. Also we can not assume that the disparity in earnings within a couple is entirely the result of the woman's selection for that reason. It can just as easily be men who wish to have partners who earn less than them.

There are many more though. For example people often date and marry in the social circles they move in. And people often move in social circles of people in and around their own economic levels. You do not get a lot of McDonalds staff hanging out with Tech company CEOs for example :) A second explanation could turn out to be that women doing the same job as a male counter part find it difficult to get the same pay. Someone already mentioned the gender pay gap - contentious as it is. Another explanation - which Jordan Peterson likes to point out - is that even when women and men have equal employment potentials in a country they tend to gravitate towards traditional male and female jobs and are not getting paid the same for that reason.

So the 50% increase in divorce rates when the women out-earn the men however is simply not a statistic that is going to be explained away by a single explanation I think. Further it would appear to be entirely irrelevant to the topic of the thread. If they are getting divorced then they are clearly married and not "dating". The thread topic the OP started is about whether "a mans job" specifically "when it comes to dating". So the fact they got married means it must not have been that important at all at the time - or it only became important later or too late.

I think another large barrier to the question the OP is asking is that "Dating" is not one single identifiable thing. There are many ways to do it or go about it. And I somewhat suspect that the relative importance of any one mediation point (like career, since that is what the thread is about) will be different from type to type. My suspicion is - no study just a suspicion - that people find it a lot more important on dating apps. Especially for women who tend to get quite flooded by interest on such apps so the need to have criteria to filter that mass down will be useful. Contrast this to two people who happen to meet in their social circles and one of them asks the other out on a date. I suspect more personal and individual measures come into play more easily there.

Other than that - in the absence of any useful studies or data being cited on the thread - I can only turn to anecdote. And certainly my experience of my own relationship and vicarious experience of those of the friends and family I know - has never given me the impression that career is all that important when dating. Connection, looks, comfort in their presence, sense of humour, and general decorum all seem to be. Mostly talking to people about their career is done because that is a useful way to get people talking. I am the middle earner in my own relationship myself and I was clear from the beginning I intended to focus on work/life balance and not pursue (and even reject) promotion and raises where it would compromise that goal. So essentially saying "I do not earn all that much and expect never to". It was never an issue. The fact I had/have a clear life goal and agenda and had my sht together. Being outearned by my partners is not something I expect to cause the relationship to break down. There are many things people can bring to the table in a relationship. Sure money is one of them. But only one.

So for the OP - I guess the only answer is that it is important to some and not to others in the same way any other thing is. There are studies too on things like a man's height or weight. Similarly there some find it very important. Others do not. Individuals are individual :) Who'd have thunk it :)

Money can attract women, but the wrong kind.

Happy to clear this up, OP.

A job is important, but blow jobs are of equal, if not more, importance. Hand jobs are of less importance of course, as are second jobs such as delivery driving or moonlighting as a neurosurgeon.

If I even remotely suspected I was just someone that was "settled for" I think I would leave the relationship tomorrow and not look back. :) I would prefer to be alone for ever than even remotely suspect I was just someone's last resort or consolation prize.

As I pointed out to you this is a public conversation on a public forum. A question was asked. I attempted to answer it. But it does not matter who you asked really. If we can not see the source of the figure then no one can really answer it. But I have at some length now gone into the explanations of the 50% figure. The study itself does this. And very little appears to be because "a mans job when it comes to dating" is important. The study and the figure do not support that notion at all it seems. It's literally talking about something else entirely.

The evolutionary narrative does make pretty stories sometimes - especially evolutionary psychology - but the diversity of humans means it's usually a lot more complex than a cursory evolutionary reading would suggest. I described a lot of that complexity already but by your own admission you did not read those posts. Which makes the conversation a little one way :)

I do wonder about the "expectations" part of it myself. The link I just gave spoke of how men "at first" love it when their partner gets ahead and gets the promotions and so on. But then the "reality" of it hits and it starts to undermine their well being. I honestly can not put myself into that head space. And given I am in a relationship where a partner is earning more than me - quite significantly - and it is likely to keep increasing in significance - I just don't feel it. I don't doubt their feelings on the matter - I just can not imagine ever feeling the same way myself.

Indeed. I for example have no sexual interest in Asian Women. They simply do nothing for me it seems and I would no sooner want to get sexual with one than as a heterosexual man I would want to 1:1 with another man.

Contrast that to my friend who is absolutely smitten with just about every Asian woman he has ever met.

So this measurement of disirability - who's standards are we meant to be using exactly? There seems to be too many quite diverse ones to choose from.

Give me a woman with nice hips/arse and I don't care what race she is.

People choose based on options available to them.

Exactly. And most people won't push themselves to create more options, but instead, accept what's immediately around them. Preferably without needing to change themselves much in the process.

"Women aren't interested in me, and it's ALL THEIR FAULT." 😫

(And evolutionary psychology is astrology for men)