Help needed

I have not said anything wrong.

OP came here looking for advice to help her situation. I'm simply advising her of a possibly strategy that would maximize her and her children's best interests.

And I'm not saying anything that a highly driven and agressive family law solicitor with years of experience of how the family law system works in practice wouldnt advise their client.

Even if the family last system is dysfunctional, that dysfunction also presents legitimate opportunities to gain and upper hand in family law situations. It's massively stacked in favour of women. I'm my opinion, a woman would be mad not too utilise the opportunities that the system presents her with.

She could also log a call to Guards the next time they have an argument. Then it's logged. Works great in court.

The relationship is toxic, does not mean that can "defame" the other partner.

„hasn't stopped him though goading me into hitting him during arguments.“

You are contradicting yourself.

You have painted your husband in a very negative light from the start of the thread, which is understandable given the pending divorce. But your biggest pain point is that he does not move out just because you want this to happen.

Sorry OP, but your choice of username, the baseless labelling, and your unwillingness to accept that the living arrangements are likely to stay like this for a while, do not make you look like your main interest is to keep the peace for everyone involved.

I don’t think there is anything more you can do apart from following legal advice and accepting that you have to share the accommodation for the time being.

Ah I see, I had misunderstood you. I had understood your post as if he had successfully goaded you into hitting him. Apologies.

I’d still stay clear of the labelling to avoid any accusations of slander.

Listening to any advice you will get here is a big mistake,talk to a solr then make your mind up.

Whatever happened the "I believe her" mantra that was being promoted a couple of years ago. It seems the courts have decided to go the opposite direction of what you're saying is correct.

OP, I’ve given the entire thread a read. It’s very hard to digest. You’re obviously emotionally invested in the situation (like any sane human being with a family would be). However, that emotion makes it very difficult to discern fact from opinion.

You were asked if he has a good relationship with the kids. Has he? Your previous response of “treating their mother like dirt” is irrelevant. His relationship with them is not the same as his relationship with you. You’ve said that they think the sun shines from his backside, so I’m guessing he does?

You're not in any physical fear, thank goodness for that, nobody deserves to go through it. You feel awkward and “put out” by the situation of him living in the house. Have you spoken to the kids? Do they feel awkward or do they feel okay? That’s an important factor here. If you’re the only one, or the primary one, that is uncomfortable with the living arrangement then he doesn’t and shouldn’t have to change to suit you. Moral compass aside.

I have no doubt that you found him controlling and that there is “power struggle” between you both, for lack of a better term. If the relationship is not for you then I agree that a breakup is the best option. However, that does not afford you the right to expect him to leave.

I know that isn’t what you want to hear, and I’m sorry about that. I just want to equip you with the truth. You may get sorted with a solicitor and get the outcome you feel you are entitled to but the situation is probably only going to get worse before it gets better.

I’d struggle to give you a definitive answer on that. Bills are split differently in every household in the country. There are so many variables like cars, hobbies, medication, etc. that it can’t be a one size fits all solution.

I know you’ve stressed how difficult it is but I think you’re going to need to sit down and discuss that. Try to remain calm and objective - don’t get into an argument. All the bills need to be paid. There is a reasonable middle ground, you just need to find it.

I hope it all goes well :)