What was the most offensive/hurtful thing ever said to you?

26-12-2021 1:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373907#Comment_118373907

It is their fault they never taught her how to cook. What is it with women these days and a lack of basic culinary skills?

Brendan Flowers · 26-12-2021 1:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373907#Comment_118373907

And would your wife never correct them after they thanked her?

magicbastarder · 26-12-2021 1:59pm

'she has told them countless times', from the text you quoted.

Brid Hegarty · 26-12-2021 2:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374278#Comment_118374278

Oh I thought of that as her having told them countless times that she didn't cook.

JupiterKid · 26-12-2021 2:17pm

Far too many to mention...

I was very badly bullied in school, from 1st to 3rd year secondary. The taunts were horrendous but the teachers did absolutely nothing. Only stopped after I was hospitalised after being set on and my parents threatened to sue the school and take it public. That was the very late 1980s.

Being told by some local kids that as my family are Nordies I was a West Brit and should be shot - and all my family - by the IRA. This was 1980s middle class suburban Dublin. There may have been visible money - but some of the families on my leafy street where these feral kids that taunted me harked from were pure and utter scumbags.

Countless homophobic crap from idiots around the time I came out in the late 1990s. Some of it incredibly nasty and two people who said homophobic things to me have since apologised.

Being told by someone from my professional past that they did not believe me about the horrendous workplace bullying I endured, that I must have brought it on myself, and that they wanted nothing to do with me going forward as I was a “complete loser.”

You see, many horrible people may be all false, sweet and polite in certain company, but show their true colours when they are willing or pushed to do so...

Brendan Flowers · 26-12-2021 2:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374278#Comment_118374278

Like Brid said, I assumed that the she told her parents countless times that she doesn't do any cooking. But what I'm asking is, when all 4 of them are sat at the table and the parents thank their daughter for the food, would she not say back to them something along the lines of "Don't thank me, I didn't do any of this. You should thank [Barney] for cooking all this".

Brid Hegarty · 26-12-2021 2:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374400#Comment_118374400

Yeah, or maybe even "don't thank me I didn't do any of this as you bloody well know"

Hamachi · 26-12-2021 2:49pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374029#Comment_118374029

I think anybody who has ever had a part time job as a teenager encountered a cretin of a boss like this. Can you imagine being a fully grown adult trying to undermine the already fragile confidence of a teenager? Speaks volumes for the kind of person he is. You can be sure that he’s still in that stockroom, whilst you have moved on to far better things.

My hurtful thing was trivial, but has always stuck with me. I’m from a very working class family with five children. My parents hadn’t two cents to rub together, but were both hugely into education and pushed us all to do well. I was flying it in the year of my leaving cert. One day in class, the guy sitting behind me kept kicking the back of legs just to annoy me. Now he was the son of a local business owner and was loaded by the standard of the times (late ‘90s). Anyway, I started kicking him back to get him to piss off. He then said to me something like ‘take your cheap, poverty-stricken shoes off my expensive runners, you filthy knacker’. Not a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and almost started welling up, which is highly unusual for me. That comment has stuck with me to this very day.

In a way, it’s been a real motivator for me. Seeing his hateful face, spurred me on even further to do well in life and get to where I am today. Very trivial I know compared to some of the awful tales here, but really indicative of the c***s some teenagers can be.

DeanAustin · 26-12-2021 2:49pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373908#Comment_118373908

I'll be honest, she still is. And really knows how to show a fella a good time.

But so batsh1t crazy that I wouldn't go near her if she was the last woman on earth. I refused it multiple times from her after we split and I'm really not the type to refuse a free hit from anyone (assuming I'm not attached).

Galwayguy35 · 26-12-2021 3:02pm

I was a very fat kid and the other lads in school always made sure I knew it by saying it in front of everyone, it went on for years but looking back on it the comments made me change my eating habits and exercise more long before the majority of people did those things.

DeanAustin · 26-12-2021 3:18pm

This is not a "wasn't the world much tougher and better then" post but I grew up in the 80s and 90s and some of the stuff that went on in schools and amongst kids that would be considered shocking now was just routine then.

In my school, fights were a regular thing. A few times, kids went home with bloodied noses or having gotten a hiding (me included). One kid, who was a little scumbag himself, had part of his ear bitten off when he picked on the wrong person at around. 7 or 8. To be fair, that did get a lot of attention.

We had one small group of tough young fellas who basically bullied everyone else. Few digs, taking lunches or lunch money or making fun of any weakness. And everyone got it at some point. Personally, I never considered myself bullied and, while I didn't like it, it didn't make my life unbearable and I still have fond memories of my childhood and of that school.

Just mad how the world has changed. Things are better today to be fair. Wouldnt want my kids to go through it I guess.

Still stihl waters 3 · 26-12-2021 3:50pm

My father called me useless and lazy regularly until I was in my late 20s, that filtered down to my older brother who took it up when I was still a child, I'm mentally strong most of the time and while I regularly think about it I just think fcuk that prick, but no doubt about it whatever negative stuff you say to a child it sticks with them, he's now an alcoholic who can't hold a coherent sentence together, he was a bully all his life but now he's just a prick I see going into the pub sometimes

26-12-2021 3:57pm

It might not seem harsh to others but being called "too sensitive" (man up will ye!). Or getting upset about news stories or being hurt what others deem as small. I've always struggled being around people especially in shops and the like because I'd feed off whatever energy there was.

Brid Hegarty · 26-12-2021 6:21pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374238#Comment_118374238

You can tell yourself you never pay attention to it, and that may be true, but if is intended to hurt and if others witness it happening to you, and they see you do nothing, then what are they supposed to think? It often isn't the insult that hurts but, but the intent, or else your failure to handle it... the fact that you're so confused at how easy it was for them to catch you off guard.

It's like if some guy tried to shoot you but missed, are you just going to say "oh I don't care, it didn't get me so I'll just ignore him"??

corks finest · 26-12-2021 6:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058223861/what-was-the-most-offensive-hurtful-thing-ever-said-to-you

“Where did you learn to dance”

( 16 yrs old)

says I “era here and there “

says your wan” need to fuckin go back and learn properly “

60 plus now and I’ve never had the confidence to dance again

Pussyhands · 26-12-2021 6:38pm

Any from a list from my father when I was a child:

(when I was holding something for him outside getting eaten by midges probably aged 8 or 9 and I was complaining about the itch) Are you a man or a girl? (or something to that effect)
When I was maybe 10 or 12 and I was helping outside I was told "X (insert neighbours child same age as me) would buy and sell you"

Most damage was done by things I heard/saw though.

Galwayguy35 · 26-12-2021 7:50pm

Bit sad to see some folks on the thread seem to have had fathers who were horrible to them.

spakman · 26-12-2021 7:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118375303#Comment_118375303

some of ye need to toughen up a bit

Mad_maxx · 26-12-2021 8:07pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118375522#Comment_118375522

It's quite common unfortunately

DeanAustin · 26-12-2021 8:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118375522#Comment_118375522

As a dad, I find it astonishing. My dad was a perfectionist and didn't dispense compliments very easily. Would often be very critical in a constructive way. But he was never gratuitously critical. Seems some people's dads were just that.

JupiterKid · 26-12-2021 11:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374468#Comment_118374468

And I was very thin and skinny in my teens and was bullied over that - any perceived difference or weakness will be used and exploited by the bullies.

Another I remember from cub scouts where we had a leader with serious anger issues - a man in his late 40s taking his anger out on 7 to 11 year old boys. Delightful.

Was told once by him in front of all the other cubs in one of my tests for my gold arrow that I had failed to point out all the correct fire exits in the scout hall. He shouted at me until he was red in the face that I was a “pathetic failure and to get out of his sight.” I was 10 years of age. Humiliating is not the word...

Yes, the 1980s were a completely different country. The bad old days in every way.

27-12-2021 1:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118373975#Comment_118373975

I hope you are joking. Your son's response of course hurt you but you are the adult, the parent, so to turn it back on him is quite despicable.

Girl Geraldine · 27-12-2021 1:31am

"you made a mistake and now your life's fúckin ruined...... Two years down the fúckin drain. I always said that you'd amount to nothing, you never had anything about you! I've always said that. You're no fúckin son of mine!"

What sort of bastard speaks to their child like that?

27-12-2021 4:08am

I got stitches in my scalp when I was 12 and my hair was consequently always lighter on top. One guy in school called me ‘baldy’ in front of the entire class on two or three separate occasions, and I was absolutely devastated. Still not sure if I am entirely over it. I know, sad. Fair play to him, he went on to be a high-profile gaa player and podcaster, so I still have to see his face 😃

Eclectic Dan · 27-12-2021 4:42am

Been called ugly to my face a few times down through the years, maybe most hurtfully (an indirect throwaway comment) by my mother when I was around 13 or 14 and beginning to become self conscious.

To be fair, I was fairly ugly but even though I'm married with kids and my looks are now of very little concern, it has probably had a profound effect on my lasting self esteem

sheepondrugs · 27-12-2021 9:07am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374029#Comment_118374029

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374425#Comment_118374425

I've seen this type of character in various crap retail jobs I worked in when younger.

Usually older than the rest of the staff, probably got a bump from shop floor to a half assed manager role and then create a little fiefdom to go with that.

It's like they are bitter and resentful to the constant cycle of younger staff they see coming through the doors.

kippy · 27-12-2021 10:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374238#Comment_118374238

Thats a relatively sensible stance to take in adulthood but in depending on your age and personality type negative and hurtful comments can have a profound impact on us in our younger years and can take a long time to get over.

In the example the poster gave the comment about Irish and being Irish was made to them at a young and impressionable age and put them off the language for years.

It's incredibly important to be positive when dealing with kids in almost any setting, reinforcing their confidence and helping them grow.

Some people, even at a young age, will let, what others deem hurtful, wash over them and some will take to heart.

Was called fat a number of times by a classroom bully in my early teens which I usually let wash over me as I thought the guy was an idiot. However it got to me one day and I threw a few slaps at him. He didn't do it again but it probably wasn't the right way to deal with it, at the time however it was my own way shutting him up. 20 plus years later I've been lucky enough to say that's all I remember in the line of negative comments towards me however a do let a lot of this stuff wash over me.

27-12-2021 5:34pm

https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/1227/1268815-childline-ireland-christmas/

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118376660#Comment_118376660

Not surprising when you see these sort of headlines. And I volunteer for a text line, the spike of messages is between Christmas and the New Year. Most wonderful time of the year. 😨

https://www.rte.ie/news/2021/1227/1268815-childline-ireland-christmas/

27-12-2021 7:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118374266#Comment_118374266

Know all women personally do ya?

Pussyhands · 27-12-2021 11:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118375557#Comment_118375557

kids are highly impressionable. I would bet my life savings that if any parent told their child that they were **** at football or art or singing that they'd lose interest in it.

28-12-2021 12:25am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118378840#Comment_118378840

It is a trend I've noticed. I assume due to increased focus on one's career etc. I assume the same can be said for lack of DIY skills men these days may have vs their father's generation. Probably due to increased desk based jobs and more disposable income to hire tradespeople to sort out problems.

But, hey, good post Willow Attractive Scabby, good post. 😉

Larbre34 · 28-12-2021 12:39am

I don't remember anything much being said that left a lasting impression, however this thread has got me thinking...

I don't have a temper. Never have. I so rarely get angry with someone or over something, that I can count on the fingers of my hands all the times I ever have.

But.....when I do get into a rage, I can't seem to help going for the jugular. I will say to them the worst thing about themselves to them, even if it has little or nothing to do with the matter at hand.

It's just not cool, because of those less than 10 decent barney's, half of them ended the relationship, whatever it was, permanently.

So, even if you have been spited by someone along the way, do better than I have done and count to ten before coming out with the killer blow. Words matter, use them wisely.

Sunny Disposition · 28-12-2021 1:02am

One thing I notice reading this thread is that many of the people who made the offensive remarks wouldn’t have realised the impact they were having.

People are more delicate than you might think and often take things the wrong way or attach more importance to remarks than they should.

madmaggie · 28-12-2021 1:17am

Get married before you're too old and nobody wants you.

MTU · 28-12-2021 1:26am

Get out of my house you’re unvaccinated you filth.

Purple Mountain · 28-12-2021 1:56am

From my primary school days, what really sticks out was a sub teacher we had while the regular teacher was on maternity.

I was about 8.

Anyway the sub teacher was a horrible piece of stuff.

She had this thing that whereby if you had "bad" handwriting she would write your name on a list on the blackboard and leave it there until it "improved" to shame the kids.

I remember feeling so angry one day that I had to resist running up and rubbing my name out.

She also had a habit of saying to us (kids of 4 to 8) that "you should be ashamed of yourself".

She has relatives who I would occasionally meet now. I must recount this story to them some day in the hope they take it back to her.

Also, one day when I was about 9, I had my hair cut very short at the time. Short hair does not suit me. A man who my dad did business with met me for the first time and asked if I was a boy or a girl!

I know that sounds trivial but that stung for many years afterwards whenever I think of it.

kowloon · 28-12-2021 2:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118375557#Comment_118375557

I reckon it would be easier for adults to learn not to be **** to kids than kids learn to not take **** to heart. Kids are young and soak up the environment they grow up in.

When someone does the whole "**** happened to me when I were a young 'un and it done did me no 'arm" (This imaginary person is from Devon, just go with it) it clearly has made an impression on them.

DeanAustin · 28-12-2021 2:10am

It's mad how sensitive we all are about what other people think/say. Personally, I thought I'd shrug off a lot of the stuff been mentioned in this thread but when I actually think about it I've been hurt by people's words too.

Funny thing is, people being people, a lot worse will have been said about us all behind our backs. Much worse. We really shouldn't put so much stock in what other people think...

The_Legend76 · 28-12-2021 6:00am

i guess the most hurtful thing ever said to me was a comment about my new haircut. This was back in 6th grade and my self esteem was already fucked badly due to bullying in previous grades.

the haircut basically made me look like I was bald, even though I wasn’t.

the bitch who said it was your usual lame ass bully who thought they were better than everyone else, I had already heard a few giggles and snickers when I walked in the classroom.

they walked past me and whispered in my ear “**** bald”. I was sensitive as **** back then so those 2 words really didn’t help my self esteem at all. Thanks bro.

Jequ0n · 28-12-2021 10:00am

Boards seems to house a lot of people who got bullied in the past. Probably explains a lot

Mad_maxx · 28-12-2021 10:28am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380390#Comment_118380390

How do you know they didn't?

Many people are just plain deliberately nasty

B.A._Baracus · 28-12-2021 10:40am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380882#Comment_118380882

I would go as far and say that the vast majority of people in this world are ****. People who don't care what they say or do to you. All me me me.

Brid Hegarty · 28-12-2021 10:54am

@DeanAustin We really shouldn't put so much stock in what other people think...

That makes absolutely no sense what so ever, and it's not a choice anyway. People have egos, therefore we care about what others think. If we didn't, there'd be a lot more singing on for the dole.

Mad_maxx · 28-12-2021 10:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380909#Comment_118380909

Wouldn't agree with that, I've only met one truly evil individual in my life

B.A._Baracus · 28-12-2021 11:15am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380954#Comment_118380954

I didn't say evil tho. Said wan*ers

Like not everyone is of course. Can't tarnish everyone with one big brush. But I would say majority.

Let's call a spade a spade. Your average person doesn't care. They might be alright to those closest to them, like family or really good friends, but the rest can sod off. That's life. Average person only cares about their own gain. Self-interest and all that.

To prove a point, see all these nasty things said to people in the thread? What if it was reversed (said to the jerk) suddenly that would be a different story. How dare you etc etc. I've seen that alot in life. It was alright to call someone something or do something on them but how dare anyone do the same to them.

Mad_maxx · 28-12-2021 11:51am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118381001#Comment_118381001

Most people self interested, no doubt

Most aren't nasty though

B.A._Baracus · 28-12-2021 12:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118381116#Comment_118381116

Most aren't nasty to your face. Appears to be more fun to do it behind your back.

kowloon · 28-12-2021 12:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380822#Comment_118380822

Where's that rolleyes smiley when you need it?

28-12-2021 12:25pm

That my mother's death from covid didn't count because she was 81 and resident in a nursing home and "must have been close to death anyway".

(She wasn't)

28-12-2021 12:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118380909#Comment_118380909

Those people who are sh1t are usually deeply unhappy, unsettled individuals who try to pull anyone they think they can get away with down to their own level of low, and then say to their inner selves “look what I did there”. People with dysfunctional patterns of thinking, or in addiction, or who had some kind of background trauma that they didn’t cope well with, will reveal themselves this way. They have self-loathing and would like to share that self-loathing with you in very unpleasant ways. Leave them to it; up to them to turn around or find they haven’t a single real friend left in the world.

What was the most offensive/hurtful thing ever said to you?

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