Correcting others people's Kids

Maybe buy the poor child a non-shite present next time

As with most situations, there's a way of saying it. Tone and facial expression are as important as the words. Impossible for anyone here to know how you said it

Probably Covid.

And you're old enough to know how to spell 'taught' 😜

I would have said something smart arse like, "awh, no need to say thanks mary-jane - you're one of my favourite nieces"

Then taken the present back obviously. Cheeky cow.

5 year old should have basic manners.

It's one of the first things you teach them..

You sister should have a bit of manners and teach her child manners.

But, definitely not your job to do it.

Children are a product of their environment. Monkey see, monkey do

shure it'll be too late to teach any manners by the time the child is 15...

My 2 year old says thank you if you give her something.

She also says thank you when she's handing you something too as she's still figuring out when it's appropriate to say it 😂

If the parents aren't going to teach basic manners to their kids then a once off from someone else isn't going to make much difference. But you obviously hit a nerve with your sister about it as she knows you were implying her parenting is lacking a little. No big deal though, in a way you were teaching the parents too.

Tis more than correct I'd like to do some times...

Thanks for the correction and yes, I’m old enough.

When I saw the title of the thread I thought to myself "Well that's easy - don't do it ever". Then I read the OP and saw it was their niece. I think if you've a good relationship with your sibling and their spouse/partner then you should be close enough to be able to do this with their children as well. Obviously if it doesn't go down well with the parents then don't do it again. As for non relatives - Never never never. There's a very real risk that the parents will get defensive as they will take your correction of their child as a personal criticism of their parenting skills and it's just not worth the grief.

Why were you not expecting the child to say thanks?

I'd always correct a kid for doing something wrong that I was involved in. If it doesn't involve me, then I wouldn't bother.

In the OPs original example, the appropriate action would have been the boyfriend to have told the kid to stop throwing the grass at him - if he was bothered by it.

I honestly don't think it's much to expect parents to tell their 5 year old child to say thank you for a present. Regardless of the parents, that's basic common courtesy, and children younger can do it so I would expect a properly raised 5 year old to say thank you. Don't worry OP, it's the parents who will have to deal with her in years to come, they'll know all about please and thank you then!

Something along similar lines happened to me last summer.

My GF's aunt came to visit our new place when she was home from the States for a holiday. She brought her 11 year old daughter along with her, who is an anti-christ. Old enough to know right from wrong.

The daughter proceeded to mess around with a candle, somehow found a razor and attempted to start shaving me with it. Despite my telling her to stop (without getting angry because she isn't my family), she kept getting worse and worse, and egging on a younger cousin, who to be fair was realising she was over-stepping the mark.

What did her mother do? Sat back drinking tea at the kitchen table watching it unfold, and didn't once decide to intervene to cut it out. I ended up leaving the room and going for a walk.

I discovered after that the child in question has behavioural issues and is being assessed, but surely her mother could have at least told her to calm down once. Nope, discipline is an ancient concept sure.

Behavioural issues aside, it doesn't condone the behaviour. If a child with Behavioural issues is about to put their hand into an open fire the parent wouldn't let them naturally. One often has to have a different less confrontational approach addressing actions, but sitting there doing nothing is just sh1tty parenting.

no excuse for bad manners. the parents should have said something to the kid. the parents are at fault as much as the kid.

If it was a random kid then of course not but encouraging a niece to say "Thanks" for a present is fine IMO.

Unfortunately lots of people don't believe in parenting/disciplining their kids anymore and believe they can do no wrong.

The grass incident seems harmless and if you weren't involved directly probably just makes you come across a bit of a grouch.