Anyone 25+ live with their parents?

Sugar_Rush · 16-01-2022 12:09pm #1

I met a dude the other day, 32 years old, hot wife, two kids...... lives with his moms.

Cause why?

No where else to live.

......

The general sentiment at the moment seems to be "stay at home or go poor".

In Ireland, 1 in 5 (or slightly above) millennials live with their parents.

Overpopulation, lack of what Ireland has historically been popular for, emigration.... ?

Of course the global pandemic is effecting matters but if we're talking cities specifically, for accommodation, Dublin has got to be one of the worst.

.....

Anyone here relate? Still live in the family home due to inability to get decent accommodation?

I'm looking at some of the facebook room share groups and you can sense the desperation.

Notmything · 16-01-2022 12:18pm

Dude?, Mom's? What country is this?

Which re-reg are you?

Gregor Samsa · 16-01-2022 12:29pm

My parents are both dead, but I just don’t have the heart to throw them out.

corner of hells · 16-01-2022 12:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118483687#Comment_118483687

Still collecting their pensions, Gregor ?

Gregor Samsa · 16-01-2022 12:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118483717#Comment_118483717

I have to pay for the air fresheners somehow. 🤷

aisling0800 · 16-01-2022 8:22pm

I currently live at home at 24. I've been abroad in the States and find it's much more frowned upon there than it is here.

I suppose though I can understand it. There's an endless supply of housing and jobs in the US that there just isn't here.

Atlantic Dawn · 16-01-2022 8:25pm

If he gave up his job and his wife did they wouldn't be living with his mam, they would be provided with council housing, that's the state of this fooking kip we live in. He and his wife would need to be making a combined €90k plus to have any hope of buying even a modest 3 best house anywhere in Dublin.

corner of hells · 16-01-2022 8:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118485962#Comment_118485962

Is it that easy to get a council house ?

Atlantic Dawn · 16-01-2022 10:05pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486117#Comment_118486117

Easier, having jobs and being married works against you.

aisling0800 · 16-01-2022 10:10pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486529#Comment_118486529

But is that a life you want to live really? I think the stress of working an upper middle class job is probably less than the stress you'd get from living and trying to raise your kids and in a **** area while also staying safe.

Atlantic Dawn · 16-01-2022 10:12pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486564#Comment_118486564

You get the house and then revert to employment again, easiest option in todays crooked world. Chances are you will get a decent area, very little building going on in deprived areas.

mariaalice · 16-01-2022 10:20pm

I would say it is an urban and a specific rural thing and more a male than a female issue?, I bet loads knows a family of say 3 children and one is married and the other 2 are 30 somethings still living at home and getting more welded to living in their parent house as time goes by.

Potential-Monke · 16-01-2022 10:22pm

38, living at home with the legends. I tried the whole relationship/mortgage/"good" job, didn't work out, job nearly killed me, mortgage broke me and herself wanted kids so I ended it. All I've left from trying to be "normal" is 20k debt and not much to show for it, a credit history that isn't just red but has burnt a hole, and a general dislike for people.

But I'm happier now. Wouldn't mind a missus, but any available at this age are most likely trying to have a kid, and even less of them would be interested in me, so I'm not giving out about being single. Enjoy it actually, friends in marriages/relationships keep me mentally single strong. Love the parents, 2 legends, both luckily still able to move about grand at 78 and 76. I do a few bits around the house, buy a few bits, but anyone with country parents will tell you that you simply cannot do and buy everything for them!

I can't ever see myself owning a house again. This house, I will be left live in it after they have passed, but if any of the siblings ever want their share (they're all ok with me just staying there for now at least), it'll have to be sold and I'll have anywhere from 15-35k depending on how much of my loan is left. Not much to start off again on... But I'm still happier than I was 10 years ago.

It has it's issues, but overall it's far better than either sharing rent with randomers and I nearly 40, or being constantly broke from trying to have my own place, apartment or house. I do work full time, nights, so I'm awake during every night in case of an emergency, and I'm far more suited to nights than days. Just works out better overall. But you do have to have a mentality of "I don't care what anyone thinks anymore". Listening to the Joneses will make you depressed about yourself. Just remember that anyone looking down on adults still living with their parents most likely have a fair few issues of their own.

Sugar_Rush · 16-01-2022 10:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486637#Comment_118486637

Well in this climate apparently 1 in 5 are in the same boat as you.

So certainly no one is looking down their nose, but the primary point is lack of affordable accommodation is having a terrible and dramatic effect on the country overall.

From that census the netherlands seem to be suffering but suffering the least which is bizarre cause the country is packed so tightly and housing has always been an issue there.... ?

Curious what your job is and what was the "good" job that nearly broke you?

JupiterKid · 16-01-2022 10:48pm

With the way things are going, maybe this thread should be renamed “Anyone 45+ living with their parents?” 😳😳😟

This is a serious problem in some countries such as Japan and Italy - middle aged adults still living with elderly parents and will be here too, given the depth and scale of the housing crisis.

Potential-Monke · 16-01-2022 10:54pm

Currently first line network support overnight. Job that nearly broke me was being a Garda.

Edit: Just to add, I don't think it's a bad thing at all, and something my parents tell me they appreciate, as they wouldn't have some things as if I wasn't here they wouldn't be able to work some stuff. I'm the tech guy, so I sort out the GAA match streaming, or masses, etc. Thought the mother how to use a smart phone, now she's glued to Facebook, but it passes the time so its all good.

I'd imagine more parents would like a similar situation, but as most kids move on to their own families, it's not possible. As I don't want kids, and I'm not in a relationship, it makes complete sense for me to stay here and do what I can for them, will be a small repayment for raising me.

Double edit: Did my mother a disservice, she's 74, not 76.

corner of hells · 16-01-2022 10:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486529#Comment_118486529

So , you register as in need of housing , your allocated into one of three Bands (DCC is the one I'm most familiar with) , Band 1 exceptional needs , medical priority etc medical priority would be wheelchair bound or possibly terminally ill, there's a couple of other criteria scattered across the other two bands , overcrowding, housing with or without priority.

The reality is , you'll probably be told your housing option is HAP and in the meantime here's a hotel room or family hub placement for you , the wife and kids.

corner of hells · 16-01-2022 10:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486774#Comment_118486774

Tis a serious problem, there's a whole grouping in Japanese society living with elderly parents, in some cases rarely leaving their homes , almost like modern day hermits.

Gregor Samsa · 16-01-2022 11:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486774#Comment_118486774

Is it actually a problem, though? Plenty of cultures involve multi-generational households. Even our own did for centuries. Up until very recently it was extremely common for someone in the family to stay on in with the parents, often looking after them in old age. This didn’t mean that they had to stay single - often they had spouses and family too. Everyone splitting off into separate nuclear families is a relatively recent phenomenon, and one that has bought its own share of social issues.

JupiterKid · 16-01-2022 11:00pm

There is also a strong cultural factor involved that has little to do with housing shortages or the general economy.

In Mediterranean countries such as Italy, Spain and Greece, living with parents until marriage has been the norm with an unmarried adult child becoming the de facto carer of the parent(s) as they get infirm and frail. This is also very common in Ireland which makes us very unusual for Northern Europe - possibly to do with traditional family structures and religious factors such as the Roman Catholic church.

In most other Northern and Central European countries such as the Netherlands, Denmark and Germany, adult children are pretty much expected to be moved out of the family home and living independently by 22 or 23 maximum, whether they have a good job or not.

In Denmark for example it is not unusual for 18 and 19 year olds to move out of the family home whilst in college and live relatively nearby. Living with your parents beyond the age of 21 is very much frowned upon in the Nordic countries.

Mister Vain · 17-01-2022 9:54am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486625#Comment_118486625

Men seem to get a lot more stick over it anyway. I used to get a lot of it from the women in my last job, some of whom were still living at home themselves. It was a low paying job so anybody there that was single was generally living at home, except for the odd person in a house share.

17-01-2022 10:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486564#Comment_118486564

They don't house people in downtown Aleppo.

GLaDOS · 17-01-2022 10:41am

My partner and I moved back in with my parents for 2 years to save for our mortgage. Pain in the hole but worth it in the end.

I'm 31 and living at home is not uncommon at all amongst my peer group.

drogcam · 17-01-2022 11:36am

31 and living at home, lived in Canada from 28 to 30. Have an alright job but still can't get a decent mortgage (using the mortgage calculators I could get around 120k mortgage) which in my area isn't enough for anything bar a tiny apartment or a derelict house.

Several of my friends in the same boat as well

Wanderer78 · 17-01-2022 11:49am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228259/anyone-25-live-with-their-parents

financialization of our economies, most obviously evident in our property markets, has failed, this is why our property markets are fcuked!!!!!

dockysher · 17-01-2022 12:02pm

I am 36 and renting with my wife but nearly all my close friends are living at home, all around same age as me. Cant get mortgages, all have decent jobs too.

Sugar_Rush · 17-01-2022 12:26pm

No mortgages, no places to rent.

Pfffff.

All this due to covid apparently?

At least on the positive side to things,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3W84wb5jKo

It does appear statistically like the end may be in sight.

But we'll almost certainly be another couple years picking up the pieces.

Sugar_Rush · 17-01-2022 12:28pm

Sometimes I wish I could be a gigolo.

Spend all day giving pleasure to women, make money out the wazoo and live in Capital Dock, financial concerns a thing of the past.

.....

** sigh **

17-01-2022 12:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118488554#Comment_118488554

Are you too ugly? 🙂

Sugar_Rush · 17-01-2022 12:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118488568#Comment_118488568

Hell naw.

I've actually done a few strip-o-grams in my time.

Consistency, fueled by supply and demand is the issue.

dasdog · 17-01-2022 2:52pm

Graphic should belong in Interesting Maps. Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece I can understand due to mammas home cooking and lack of job opportunities but wtf is going on in Denmark. Siblings must really dislike their parents.

Aisling(",) · 17-01-2022 3:02pm

I lived at home till I was 29 then bought a house with my boyfriend. We could only afford it because we could save living at home.

If you're renting and not on 6 figures I don't know how you would buy these days. The majority of my friends are living with their parents.

aisling0800 · 17-01-2022 3:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118489394#Comment_118489394

My father works for the big four (earning a gross of €70,000) and had to move out of South Dublin into a commuter belt town. Most neighbours of mine in South Dublin had 2 upper middle class jobs to live there.

17-01-2022 6:17pm

Strange map that. All the best (imho), most advanced and best run countries have the lowest rates. I wonder if there is some kind of causation effect there. Maybe people staying with their parents don't have the same creativity and drive that they would have if they forged their own path? Maybe that has a knock-on effect and shapes a society when you scale the numbers up?

billyhead · 17-01-2022 8:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118486564#Comment_118486564

Until you buy a house privately and the council buy the house next door to house a family for free and an asylum one aswell. It's happened to me.

17-01-2022 8:26pm

I think there's a big difference between being 25+ and living with parents because there is no choice (securing a mortgage impossible etc.), and 25+ year olds living with parents because they don't want to ever move out, even if securing a mortgage was a doddle.

The former category is understandable, given the prevailing situation.

The latter category is largely pretty sad - and a reflection of that growing sector of the population who just don't want to grow up and take responsibility for themselves / leeching off their parents due to their immaturity.

HerrKuehn · 18-01-2022 9:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118491235#Comment_118491235

The second category was a big thing even before the property crisis. Back 15-20 years ago lots of people were still living at home in their 30's. It is an unwillingness to grow up in my opinion. As an adult you need to stand on your own 2 feet, even if the shared house isn't as comfortable as being at home with mama, at least you cut the apron strings and support yourself.

HerrKuehn · 18-01-2022 9:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118489453#Comment_118489453

If you are young, 70k seems like a lot of money but it really isn't, not after tax anyway.

18-01-2022 2:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118491235#Comment_118491235

Look, I largely agree with you in the vast majority of cases and I myself was out the door before I turned 18 and I haven't looked back. My sister is a total homebird though. She pays her own way, has a decent job, is generous to my parents....but yeah, I do think there's a big element of childishness involved, in her case anyway.

My kids are young and my aim is to raise them to be independent, confident, helpful people who can earn and pay their way. Nevertheless, there's a part of me that loves them so much I'd be happy if they lived with me and herself forever, though I would never actively or verbally promote the notion. The point is (I suppose), there will be a few people who don't ever want to move out, not because they're useless, or because they're childish, but because they love their parents and their parents love them and for whatever reason, they want to stick together. It's certainly unfathomable for me with my own parents, but it is a phenomenon, though very rare these days most likely.

HerrKuehn · 18-01-2022 3:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118494406#Comment_118494406

I think adult kids need to be given a bit of a nudge to leave the nest. Of course it is comfortable to stay at home and not have to deal with the stress of fending for yourself, I can also somewhat see the attraction for the parents to have their kids staying with them. The fact is at some point they will need to fend for themselves when the parents die.

I think by 25 you should definitely be feeling embarrassed about still living at home, it is a bit awkward bringing someone you met in a nightclub back to your parents house. If you are doing it on a temporary basis, saving hard for a deposit (and not going on holidays etc, you aren't saving properly if you are doing that), then fair enough.

ancapailldorcha · 18-01-2022 3:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118488044#Comment_118488044

I'm housesharing. I've two cousins a bit younger than me here in London and they never moved out which is a bit mad. Like, they're saving ten grand a year each. I don't think I could move in with the parents again even if it were an option.

Fathom · 18-01-2022 5:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058228259/anyone-25-live-with-their-parents

Left home for university. Never retuned. Only to visit.

SamStonesArm · 21-01-2022 1:09am

38 and still living at home , the joys of being fcuked with agorophobia and depression for most of my life. I'll probably end up never making anything of my life and end up dead in the parents box room. Hey most families have a loser in it and in my family I got the short straw. 😠😠

Ham_Sandwich · 21-01-2022 10:53am

Late 30's and living by myself, if I could get on with my parents I'd be home tomorrow, saving a fortune. But I can't so I live in a shoebox in a nice area and will never own a home.

Teacher2020 · 21-01-2022 11:18am

I never moved home after college.

I always house shared with strangers.

I lived in very bad accommodation at different times and with some very questionable housemates.

Also met some of the best friends that I have through sharing a house with them.

We lived cheaply - we didn't eat well (pasta was nearly every dinner), we didn't turn the heating on, we didn't eat out, we didn't get coffees out, we didn't have designer clothes or make up, we drank in houses instead of going to the pub. Everyone I knew was doing the same. The aim was to live as cheaply as possible while saving every bit you could for a deposit. I don't see Gen Z having the same attitude as we had.

Wanderer78 · 21-01-2022 11:37am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118510743#Comment_118510743

again, the economy of each generation is different, and effectively cannot be compared, we re currently living in the era of rapid asset price inflation, which is most notable in property markets, verse low wage inflation, couple that with rising precariousness of employment, and you ve got a big pile of sh1t, to the point, nobody really knows what to do about it, and those that have gained from these outcomes, primarily older generations that own assets, in particular property, most certainly dont want things to change for obvious reasons. the (not so) funny bit is though, its actually their own kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews are the ones getting screwed in all of this....

21-01-2022 11:40am

Eoin O'Broin can't arrive into the housing portfolio quick enough.

Snails pace · 21-01-2022 12:20pm

I lived at home throughout my college years as I was only 35 mins from college. When I went abroad it was my first time renting, luckily I was living with friends. Came back home, moved back in with my parents. It was fine but I rented a house back in November 2020 with a few friends and it's great.

There is a shortage of housing across Ireland, not just Dublin. I won't afford to build or buy for a long time. I'm thinking of buying a mobile home and living in that for a few years to save money

21-01-2022 12:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118510890#Comment_118510890

Why, is it to ensure his party's objections to new housing continues and ensure the objections are upheld?

21-01-2022 12:23pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118510878#Comment_118510878

All the indicators show strong wage growth with plenty of vacancies in the economy.

Please provide your links showing the opposite.

Wanderer78 · 21-01-2022 12:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118511182#Comment_118511182

this is old now, and well out of data, but it shows where we re coming from.....

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/homes-and-property/ireland-s-housing-crisis-in-five-revealing-graphs-1.4150332

i have more up to date data, but i havent had the time to correlate it yet....

as you can see from the graph, wage inflation and property price inflation(asset price inflation) have virtually decoupled, this is also evident in the price of other assets such as stocks and bonds etc etc, of which most are owned by older generations, pension funds etc etc, it would take substantial wage increases to bring these two metrics back in line with one another, this probably wont occur, and the fact that material costs are sky rocketing.....

basically those that dont own assets such as property are screwed, which actually means, we re all screwed....

you ll also find many newly created jobs are what graeber called 'bullsh1t jobs', low waged, poor conditions, etc etc etc, so.....

Anyone 25+ live with their parents?

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