Worker with ADHD

Ah here, foolscap is gone with the ark at this stage! 😄 It almost sounds like getting sent for stripey paint.

What type of work is he doing for you?

Having worked with children with ADHD, I honestly do think it's part of the problem.

ADHD leads to executive functioning difficulties. What that means is the part of the brain that's to do with planning, organising, problem solving, getting things started ect don't work very well. I could honestly see some of the young people I've worked with going into a shop and not finding the stationary/not thinking of asking. Unfortunately, for the young man, a job with a list of things to do but no immediate oversight isn't the best fit with ADHD.

You are obviously trying to be considerate of this young person and their family. If you were willing, what I'd suggest is having a meeting with this young man and his parents. Outline the problems and brainstorm some solutions. I'd also make it clear what your limits are. For example, you can tell them that if things don't turn around by x time, you don't think you can continue to employ him. It sounds like his parents have been doing so much for him, he hasn't figured out how to manage these difficulties himself.

i disagree with the laziness quote to a degree, those of us that are neurodiverse do indeed struggle with these type of issues all the time unfortunately, i have add myself, its virtually impossible to function under such issues, never under estimate how badly one can be affected by disrupted sleep. the modern working world isnt very open to such issues, hence why most of us end up in long term unemployed situations and many actually end up involved in criminality. this chap actually requires particular types of professional guidance, in order of being capable of employment, but many of these services simply dont exist in ireland, or are virtually impossible to gain access to. it requires an acceptance of all involved in order occur, most obvious being parents and the person themselves, which is sometimes difficult to achieve. employers clearly need to be involved in this process, and are generally compensated for the issues involved, this clearly wont work in this situation, so termination maybe required, but on good terms of course. this situation does need to be very carefully managed, as the likelihood of negative outcomes are very high, particular for the person with the disorder

unfortunately this chap probably just isnt ready for the work force just yet, he currently doesnt have the correct tools to be able to survive it, we have failed as a society in trying to provide him with these tools, the educational system has rejected him, and now the employment sector is just about to also, he needs professional guidance to navigate this, as does his family

yea id have to agree, the op has stepped into a complex situation out of their pure kindness, but its not really their problem, they have a business to run after all, but being a friend, they could suggest professional help and guidance, but this to can be a tricky thing to approach, its a sticky one....

I'm wondering is there some other form of social anxiety at play here as well as the ADHD?

unfortunately such disorders rarely occur alone, so its very likely its co-morbid with others, i have autism, add and dyslexia myself, and probably a whole slue of undiagnosed others, so yup, you could be right

Well done OP on trying to give him a start in life and getting him on the employment ladder. I know someone with ADHD and they are able to function normally once the tasks are clearly laid out. This lad sounds lazy and totally disinterested in doing anything. If his parents aren't willing to make sure he turns up on time and appreciate what you are doing, then he doesn't deserve your time or attention. I know you tried the soft approach is it worth taking a firmer stand the next time if he comes to work ?

For the last two years teenagers have been hearing that their mental health has been impaired by the pandemic. They shouldn't risk bruising their psyche in any way. Hashtag selfcare.

Their teachers are afraid to cross them in case they have a meltdown, their parents are unwilling to let them experience real life with its many disappointments and knockbacks.

He doesn't feel like working. He thinks that the fact that he doesn't feel like working means he doesn't have to work.

If he does a half-arsed job and you don't tell him he's brilliant you have negatively impacted his self-esteem. If you stay on his case he'll start to take it to heart and you'll be accused of bullying.

When he eventually calls you and asks you about another day's work you need to be able to say that you're sorry, so much time has passed that you thought he must have found another job, you have found another lad to work for you. You'll let him know if you have any more work that's suitable but it's not likely you'll have anything soon.

Fair play to you for the amount of effort put in

If you do give him more work, I'd recommend to focus it on just one specific task per day. No lists. No going picking things. No distractions. Just one task and a time to complete it by.

People with ADHD find it extremely difficult/impossible to stay focused on tasks they are not 100% interested in. This isn't a choice, they simply cannot focus. In contrast, if they have an interest in something they will hyperfocus and can perform brilliantly. If he has an interest in craftswork then that is the best option for him and would be a great opportunity in which he may excel.