Mens Rights Thread

I would say men are hugely under represented in nursing, childcare and national school teaching, but there isn't anything done about it.

There's a cost for society here, loads of men would make excellent nurses but never even consider it. Years ago in America there were efforts to get more women into construction and men into nursing, but I've never seen anything like that here, which is a pity.

There are inequalities faced by both genders, and in fairness nature doesn't bestow periods or child birth on men. However, there very rarely is any focus on particular male problems. There's deep shame around erectile dysfunction and it's used as a punchline regularly on TV shows. Suicide is largely a male problem, while prostate cancer is a huge killer, comparable to breast cancer, but all of these issues don't receive the care they deserve.

i've no answers, there are lots of female issues too, but it seems to me that male issues don't matter at all.

There seems like there might be a hint of misandry behind some of the tweets on the #IDEVAW2021 hashtag or they might promote misandrist attitudes

A few of the top posts

https://twitter.com/randmhousekpr/status/1463915354011447321?s=21

https://twitter.com/radfem_kath/status/1463846884984905731?s=21

https://twitter.com/angelajindynow/status/1463785627032428550?s=21

‘Why should we feel afraid?’: How to stop violence against women

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/why-should-we-feel-afraid-how-to-stop-violence-against-women-41115343.html

While the keychains provide some security and empowerment, she acknowledges she should not be making them — and women should not feel the need to buy them. The fact of the matter is these keychains are not marketed towards men.

That doesn't mean men are not at risk.

One can similarly argue that people shouldn't have to spend money on house alarms. One can easily spend over €10,000 (after tax) over a lifetime on a monitored house alarm.

It would be great not to have to to spend the money but deviants of one type or another are likely to continue to exist. I don't believe there is a burglary culture in Ireland, where burglary is widely condoned, but burglars still exist.

Charlie Bird admitting to ‘crying every day’ is incredibly brave and should be applauded

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It quickly occurred to me that The Late Late Show is more than light entertainment, it is a bizarre national confession box and Charlie Bird’s decision to go on as a guest proves that he does not suffer from toxic masculinity, that condition adopted by so many Irish men of attempting to avoid confronting illness.

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He has admitted to crying every day since his condition was diagnosed.

What he is doing, in going on a flagship national television show, to talk about it, is incredibly brave.

Apart from anything else, he is exposing his vulnerable side, the side that most of us Irishmen prefer to keep hidden.

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https://www.independent.ie/entertainment/television/charlie-bird-admitting-to-crying-every-day-is-incredibly-brave-and-should-be-applauded-41137429.html

I agree that what Charlie Bird is doing is admirable.

However I dislike the term "toxic masculinity". It's not a neutral term: the equivalent term "toxic femininity" is very rarely used, even though there are pressures on women/girls. That's presumably because it would mean that a particular behaviour is seen as toxic while women would object to their behaviours being seen as toxic.

Men may have good reasons to be cautious about complaining about ill-health and showing their weaknesses. For example, we have the "man flu" trope: a stereotype generally promoted by women that men complain more easily about their health problems.

Not sure what you are saying?

I never said toxic masculinity was anything to do with pressures on women.

Just to be clear in what I'm saying. "Toxic masculinity" may sometimes be described/seen as pressures on men to be a certain way/not be another way and so some people sympathetic to men might like it and think supporters of men should be happy with the term. However, I (and other people too) think it's more than that as otherwise we would hear "toxic femininity" as there are plenty of people who are quick to say there are pressures on women to be a certain way/not be another way so if that's all we meant, we'd hear "toxic femininity" a lot more. But we don't generally hear "toxic femininity". If people disagree, why do they think "toxic femininity" is rarely used?

Edited to add: if people want to complain about pressures they see men have on them to be a certain way/not be another way, that's great. I (and some other people too) however would prefer if the term "toxic masculinity" wasn't used.

Just to go back to this point about toxic masculinity versus toxic femininity. This is what was in a national newspaper:

I think it's less likely they would have published something like the following with the genders reversed:

“Why more women identify as sexually fluid than men”

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-59661306

This article with quotes from feminists and the like claims it is because of fragile masculinity and rigid gender roles for men that fewer men are sexually fluid than women. While it may be the case that more men will come out as bisexual and similar, I think a lot of men will remain exclusively gay or heterosexual (maybe excluding any experimental phase): I know, to speak bluntly, I have a strong desire to put my d*ck in one orifice but zero in an orifice of men (the idea even seems bizarre). I could easily see the reverse being the case for other men. I think even as far back as Kinsey they found men were generally either a 1 or 6 on a six-point heterosexual - homosexual scale while more women were in the middle.

Getting boys reading: Read aloud to them, if they want it, no matter how old

‘It’s assumed boys read less, so publishers publish less, so they read less’

https://www.irishtimes.com/culture/books/getting-boys-reading-read-aloud-to-them-if-they-want-it-no-matter-how-old-1.4748908

Children’s Books Ireland has a novel approach to matching books with readers. They run an event called The Book Clinic. An expert in children’s books – a book doctor – talks to the child one on one and “prescribes” books based on what they’ve enjoyed before. If they’re not a reader, the doctor will take their cue from the activities they enjoy.

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Getting boys reading: Top tips

Let your child see you reading. It doesn’t matter what: the paper, fiction, nonfiction.

Don’t make value judgments about reading material. Nurture a positive attitude to reading and make it a part of their day that they can enjoy.

Talk to them about what they’re reading. What was the book about? What were the best bits? What didn’t you like? Get them to recommend their favourites to their class or their friends.

If they want to give up on a book that they can’t get interested in, let them. Reading is a subjective experience. Everyone hates ploughing through a book that just doesn’t grab them.

Let them know they can read whatever they want, and help them find something that suits their abilities and interests. The Children’s Books Ireland website is packed with reviews, reading lists and guides.

The local library is an incredible free resource with books, ebooks and audiobooks for all ages – not to mention motivated professionals who can help match a reluctant reader with a brilliant book.

Separate reading for fun and reading for school. Don’t make it a chore, or a punishment.

Read aloud to them, if they want it, no matter how old they are.

New plan aims to correct imbalance in Irish athletics coaching

https://www.independent.ie/sport/other-sports/athletics/new-plan-aims-to-correct-imbalance-in-irish-athletics-coaching-41209850.html

Not proposals I think I have a major objection to but just thought I would highlight another initiative aimed at helping women/females; by comparison, there seem to be very few aimed at helping men only in some way.

(UK)

Calls to male sexual abuse helpline double in 2021

More than 7,000 calls, texts and emails were received by Safeline's male helpline in 2021 - more than double the number of 2020.

It's one of several services the charity runs for survivors of sexual abuse, and has seen a huge rise in people reaching out for help.

Article only mentions LGBT victims though that wouldn’t necessarily mean none of the abusers connected to the 7000 calls were female.

Mens Development Network run a helpline - they do some great work

https://mensnetwork.ie/male-advice-line/

Independent.ie e-newsletter:

Toy story

Bill Linnane loves toy shopping, as, like all men, he lives in a state of eternal boyhood. Obviously, you wouldn’t think it from the outside, as he says he looks like a decrepit wreck, but in his mind he is 13 years old and running free. (Premium)

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I love toy shopping, as, like all men, I live in a state of eternal boyhood

Bill Linnane

https://www.independent.ie/life/family/pare Allnting/i-love-toy-shopping-as-like-all-men-i-live-in-a-state-of-eternal-boyhood-41230498.html

Not losing childhood innocence, enthusiasm, etc. could be a good thing, but this wording is a bit insulting and I doubt we'd see it as a headline in a national paper about women.