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How to get my money back from a (wealthy) friend.

124

Comments

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    the builders would just invoice you.. there’s no way they’d stand in your house and wait for a friend to pop to an ATM for cash

    I understood it to be a nixer cash in hand job. I may be wrong



  • Registered Users Posts: 589 ✭✭✭CrookedJack


    Well people emotionally effected would still be effected whether it was true or not. It's also clear that the €50 idea was tongue in cheek - bit disingenuous to suggest it was more than that.


    Well if that's the motivation then you should keep your suspicions to yourself. That way everyone would think the OP was genuine and still continue to help other people.

    Whether it's true or it's false, everyone replying would have gotten exactly the same output, had the same experience, the only thing ruining the interaction is your insinuation.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    no i should not keep suspicions to my self. do not tell me what to do. And i will not be responding to your pseudo philosophical nonsense again. i think you are trolling too. bye



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I found the garda response funny too. Jamie, if he exists, threw the OPs bike in the road. Defence of ones home does not allow needless agression



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 549 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    In a previous incarnation on Boards I was accused by posters and by a mod of trolling. I was getting a terrible time from a neighbour and I was looking for help in an area outside my expertise (not legal advice.) Nobody I knew in the real world could help me and the situation was extremely stressful. A little bit of support would have made a huge difference but instead I was accused of being inconsistent and of wasting others' time, making the whole thing up to get a reaction. I wish the big swinging mickeys who had been so quick to take me down a peg had known the effect they were having on me.

    Previously I would have been of the opinion that if you take comments from strangers on the internet to heart you need to toughen up but I got a kicking when I was down and it nearly undid me.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    That entire post is just weird.

    The assumptions/position in this post are weird. Looks like you're baiting for an argument. I'll pass.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    That is fair comment. I never said the guy was a fake I am not sure but it does not seem to add up. Also unlike what someone else said i am not the only one questioning him. i was not even the first

    Hope you learned not to take internet comments to heart.



  • Registered Users Posts: 589 ✭✭✭CrookedJack


    Wow, toys completely out of the pram on this one then. It is not pseudo-philosophy to point out your motivations and actions don't match up. Now if your real motivation was to just feel superior and make yourself feel more clever than the rest of us gullible fools then your above, overly-defensive response would also make sense.

    We've both had a chance to have our say so now you can feel free to not respond.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I don't think FLAC give legal avice on the phone. You might speak to a trainee solicitor who would give some information but as far as i know not a qualified solicitor. Maybe different with covid. it used be you went to a legal aid centre



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    What he says is he was embarrassed they were looking at him and. I also got the impression he thought Jaime was a real friend and could and would pay it back



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Nearly 'undid' by anonymous comments on boards.ie. why would you return to an environment you found deeply disturbing?





  • honestly I would wonder if all of this *really did happen*, but I don’t think the OP went to the Gardai or confronted the friend that’s the part I think he’s bullshitting a wee bit.

    how is someone who’s too shy to say “nah pal I’m not giving you €400” gonna bang the front door shouting to him inside. Remember this same person went to the house, saw him ignore a phone call & walked off!

    I think there’s definitely truth to this (no smoke without fire) but then some of the reported actions the OP took are simply fabricated.

    tl;dr I well believe he got done out of €500, I don’t believe he’s been round to his house.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    you'd want to be mad to take any notice of anonymous clowns on the internet



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    you could be right. he has an exciting life given his other threads. I think one also had strange behaviour from gardai, the one about someone taking a painting from a flat or something like that





  • That’s completely unfair to say, when someone’s down and out and feels like they have no one - these kinds of comments can really dig into you. It doesn’t matter if they’re anonymous or not - the fact is they reinforce how you’re feeling and drag you down further. It’s not even something you can help!



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,537 ✭✭✭HBC08


    Going off topic a bit but is "there's no smoke without fire" the most stupid expression of all time? I've only ever heard it used by eejits following on from something dumb they've just uttered.





  • Not sure if you’re calling me stupid or not but


    shrug 🤷‍♂️



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    What sort of low life would make such comments though, that is what i mean. The people who do that are usually failure who seek to put others down as it is the only way they can feel any way good. Some of them are often waiting to pounce. Best ignored





  • 100% agree, but unfortunately it’s not that easy to ignore them when you find yourself feeling just lost I guess.

    it’s hard to even put into words how you’d feel to allow these remarks to seep in unchecked.. but trust me, having been there, it’s not as simple as just realising these people are obvious social rejects and what they’re saying is rubbish. When you feel like all of that’s true anyway it’s tricky to pull the wool from over your eyes.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,537 ✭✭✭HBC08


    Not really no.

    Just what's the "smoke" here?

    A weird thread from a poster with a history of weird threads.Therefore it follows on there must be "fire" ie this event happened to some degree.I think this event is as likely to have happened as it is as likely to be completely made up.The original post and subsequent posts from the op don't sway me one way or the other.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    That is true. I meant no offence to Haze Doll or you. I was commenting on the sad life of someone who would behave like that. Seen them on many forums. Sometime they use the fact they know more about a subject than the questioner to make fun. They need to feel superior because they feel inferior. best to not get involved.





  • Trying to sort through the quagmire of other people’s truths/semi-truths /lies can really suck the life out of you. It can leave you with quite literally a massive ongoing headache. Those commenting can vary from being sympathetic & protective to “you were a fool”, but internet strangers really have little clue as to the dynamics going on behind the scenes. If people have decent real life friends they are the ones to share with, unless of course you want to use a litmus test as to what an honest opinion might be like on an anonymous public forum.

    When I read a thread, I generally do not look at a poster’s previous postings, life too short, and take them at least initially at face value. But of course there are Walter Mitty types who probably get some sort of kick by posing to be in various totally fabricated situations, with people completely wasting time over giving responses, so I suppose investing time at looking at previous threads is occasionally time well spent.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,550 ✭✭✭FishOnABike


    Legal Aid and FLAC are two entirely different things. Many highly experienced solicitors volunteer their time, outside of their work, to staff FLAC clinics.





  • FLAC clinics?

    Free Legal Advice Clinics clinics? 🤔😂



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,550 ✭✭✭FishOnABike






  • covid brained it 😵‍💫

    been in this house too long



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    i did not say different. i said I do not think they give legal advice on the phone. You would speak to a trainee on the phone who would give information but not legal advice

    i said [pre covid] it used be you went to a legal aid centre

    I prob should have said It was in a Citizens Info Centre run by FLAC



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,145 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    Regardless neither FLAC nor legal aid will get involved in a case of this kind. Waiting times for cases that genuinely need legal assistance are horrendous as it is.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    He could make an appt with FLAC at a CIC clinic if it wasn't for covid. That would be just advice. I don't know if they are open now



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,299 ✭✭✭Claw Hammer


    FLAC don't tout for business, people call to them. FLAC does not write on behalf letters of people.



  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Curious1002


    Woah! I didnt realise that there are so many comments in here since Tuesday and I am glad I looked. I dont even know where to start.

    It's like one person threw a stone and 50 followed. What are you doing? And why? You call me a troll? Are you serious??

    Everything I posted in this thread is 100% true. Everything I posted in my last 2,3,5 threads is 100% true. In fact, I would have posted more to my last one about my best buddy being arrested for "stealing" a picture but the moderator closed the thread so I couldnt.

    I am an animal rescue first responder volunteer in Dublin 6, love animals and help as much as I can. I see that somehow, very strangely, people are bothered about me trying to help a little mouse of my friend? Why? Do you think I only help dogs and cats, while everything else can be discarded? The mouse died 2 days after my post, not even a vet could help but I did my best and posted in here hoping to get a helpful response. Are you bothered about a guy who helps animals or is there another reason? Be specific and tell what exactly you hate about my past post which I started as I thought that readers could have a better and more technical knowledge about something than I did at the time.

    If I was unclear about something then just ask a question but dont make laugh of how I spend my time after work and help those in needs.

    Why do you ridicule my post about my friend who was in such distress that I had to keep an eye on him for 3 weeks until his charges were 100% dropped? I started the thread as I had no idea about the criminal law and hoped for some direction, which I really got. Now you make fun of it?

    Are you curious about my savings? I do have them, I dont go out partying, I dont drink, I dont smoke and I am a single guy. I save every single penny I earn, I am 38 so if you think that 50K of savings at this age is huge then you are wrong. Is that funny for you too?

    I am shocked to read some of the comments here. I understand that people may have different opinions about everything but throwing punches at someone who asked for advice is not the way to go. I am saddened to see that you somehow even managed to shift people views and overwhelmed those who provided me with a really superb advice. For all those who supported me from the start of this thread - thank you so much! For those who supported me but then had their doubts and stopped - Thank you for the initial support and I am sorry that the shouting group has shifted your views. For those who throw punches and ridicule me for I am not actually sure what reason - you need to stop. Someone commented here that the exact same thing happened to them when all they did was to ask a question and needed some guidance. Guys, think before you throw punches. I may not be strong in verbal or physical confrontation but it's because I was not brought up this way and Ireland is not the place that I feel 100% sure and secure.

    If you want to ask me a question about something that clearly bothers you about my experience or past experiences - please ask. I hope to be able to wave your doubt or at least lower the accusatory tone. But I also learnt that if someone is set in their false opinion and get a little pat on the shoulder from others then there is nothing I can do or say that will change that.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,145 ✭✭✭✭Caranica


    No he couldn't. They don't give advice on cases like this. And even before Covid waiting times were bad



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    when you make an appt cic do not ask what's it is about. i made an appt for someone once. CIC did not ask why the person wanted legal advice. The person went to the CIC to see the FLAC solicitor and got the advice. I do not remember what it was about. It may be different now

    it was not westmeath i rang but that is what i did rang CIC. No one asked why the person wanted to see a solicitor



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    They write letters if they take on case. i have seen such letters .



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭20/20


    Your best buddy being arrested for "stealing" a picture 

    Your second buddy ( Jamie ) steals €500 from you.

    You need to get some new buddies.



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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I save every single penny I earn, I am 38 so if you think that 50K of savings at this age is huge then you are wrong.

    the op said you did not have any funds after your holiday and the 500 to Jaime. But you had 50K. Is it not reasonable to question that?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,299 ✭✭✭Claw Hammer


    They don't write as solicitors. They can't write a letter before action. If a claim is accepted for Civil Legal Aid , letters are written by the assigned solicitor who has to go through AML and put their professional indemnity insurance on the line.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I have seen a letter they wrote as solicitor on behalf of someone. I am not going to argue about it anymore



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,299 ✭✭✭Claw Hammer


    I, for one, do not believe a word of it. Sorry.



  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Curious1002



    Fair point and a good question. Here is my answer - I wrote that in my text message to Jamie explaining why I need my money back. It probably wouldnt have been wise to write "Hey, Jamie, listen, I have 50K in my bank account locked for 2 years cos of the savings contract restrictions so I can't touch it. I am not really starving in here either but can you return my E500 to me when you have a chance?"

    I shouldnt have to justify to him why I need my money back or list all my bills and obligations but I thought that mentioning Christmas in the text right after the festive time past would speak to him a little better as we all can probably relate to it. It didnt work with Jamie.

    With that text message I must have also put some doubts in some people about the real need of my money. If a wealthy person lends somebody E50, they will have a hard time explaining why they need their money back, but in fact they dont need to try to justify it at all.

    To answer the poster " 20/20" - I know it sounded this way initially but my best friend who got arrested is the best person I have known so far in Ireland. He would share his last shirt with you and feed you while starving himself. He made a mistake, he explained everything in details to the Guards, he had a good solicitor and all charges were dropped shortly after. It was one of a kind experience that I was an observer to.

    Jamie, on the other hand, is a different kind of "friend".



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  • Registered Users Posts: 665 ✭✭✭goldenmick


    The bottom line is....





  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 549 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    Trolls want attention, any sort of interaction at all. If you don't believe a poster don't post, the thread will die and everybody wins.

    If you're wrong and the poster is genuine you have avoided making somebody's day worse.

    The time I was accused of trolling, it happened when I had exhausted every resource available to me. The guards had been worse than useless, actively undermining my position, presumably because I'm not a local good-old-boy. The relevant government dept had been dismissive. Nobody I knew IRL had any connections or could help in any way. My solicitor was trying to help but, on the night I posted here looking for help, hadn't been able to make any progress. I was alone and felt simultaneously deserted and surrounded. If one person on the thread had said "That sounds bloody awful. Mind yourself," it would have been more help than they could ever know.

    I was fully vindicated in the end, in fact I have a written sort-of apology from an underling in the govt dept concerned. My solicitor came through for me, but only after I was called into the office and given a stern-talking to to dissuade me from selling my house, leaving my job, moving far away and giving up the fight. I had made the decision to give up the night a mod had gleefully joined in the chorus calling me a troll.

    In this case the poster is in a stressful, frustrating situation. This brings out the worst in anybody. Think for a second before becoming part of the problem.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 549 ✭✭✭HazeDoll


    I'd like to add that my idea of fleeing and starting a new life would have been a drastic overreaction to the situation, even if things hadn't eventually worked out in my favour. Still, this is how bad things look when you meet either blank disinterest or cheerful hostility when you ask for help.



  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Curious1002


    I hear you loud and clear, HazeDoll! The moderators very often lead the shouting group and with the power to shut the thread down they often do, leaving you feeling worse, alone and hated.

    I am glad to read that you got vindicated and can see things from both sides. It took me 20 minutes to read through all the spiteful comments in here and it really didnt feel good. I would never post anything hateful under anybody's thread, never.



  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Curious1002


    Claw Hammer, I am not surprised. I remember you from my RTB thread - you were the one who was constantly posting negative comments, it's like you were doing this for sport. You are clearly very active and experienced on the forum, but not willing to accept opinions and beliefs that are different from your own. Thanks for sharing your negativity, buddy.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,710 ✭✭✭Speak Now


    On HAP with savings of 50k. Nice deal.



  • Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭Curious1002


    I wanted to comment here too but I think I would be going too far with my financial disclosure.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,710 ✭✭✭Speak Now


    I said nice deal, who mentioned legalities?

    No wonder the country is broke, old people can't afford to turn on the heating and the government proping up landlords by over paying on rent subsides.



  • Registered Users Posts: 16 AK2021


    OP, you don't have to justify to anyone why you need your money back or explain to people how much savings you have or that you are on hap. Those who grill you over your savings are not here to provide any helpful advice. You don't owe them any explanation, just ignore them. Haters' gonna hate.

    You have a good heart and we need more like you. I hope you'll get your money back soon.





  • Lads really I think the fairest thing here is to just lay off.

    Not trying to backseat mod but in fairness this is just unnecessary at this point imo



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