Things dat Trivyully Annoy You (part whatever) *MOD WARNING IN OP* NEW

Used to work with a fella that was a knife licker. We'd always take turns bringing something in like biscuits,tarts etc so one break time I brought in a cake, we all cut and take a piece then the last fella cuts a piece, licks the knife then puts it back on the tray to be used again

He was told if he didn't stop licking the knife it would be sticking out of his neck

Of course you should!

In relation to that, my mother and brother trivially annoy me regularly by dumping (or wanting to dump) perfectly good food because of the date on it. Even 'Best before' dates. If it doesn't have mould on it and doesn't smell funny, you're usually safe enough. 😉

you wouldn't want to risk poisoning yourself with 250 million year old salt that has just gone out of date.

We had a power outage of about two hours a few years back and my next door neighbour was complaining about having to throw everything in her freezer out. I was like "Please tell me you didn't actually do that???"

The school is having a car free day tomorrow. They do this every few months. Good stuff, but I walk with my kids every day anyway.

They also have a "walking school bus" thing organised every morning from a car park about a kilometer from the school, where parents have plenty of space to park up and the kids are supervised in walking the last leg. Great stuff too - exercise for the kids, no parking hassle for the parents coming from afar, less traffic madness for the residents near the school. Doesn't suit me, because the drop-off place is even further from my house than the school is, but like I say we walk anyway, and it suits others. So nothing but support for that too.

What's annoying me is that for tomorrow, they've told all the kids that they have to join the "walking school bus", because there's going to be a couple of politicians going on it. So my two come home telling me that I have to drive them all the way across town to drop them off so that they can walk back in to school... instead of just walking to school.

I say, nope, makes no sense, a totally unnecessary car journey is against the spirit and reason of a car free day. Wife is like "No, we have to bring them on it. It'll look bad if there's a low turn-out for the politicians!". FFS! 🤬

We exist to make companies money, we should be quiet and give it to them, apparently…

i badly require a haircut…. I was waiting until now to go as it’s always quiet, they open till 6… but I’m comfy, uninterested in going but I’m looking rather shaggy so, fûck it… I’m gone…

Avoid Tayto like the plague then. They skimp on both salt and especially vinegar.

You’ve had visits from the Bin Fairy and the Easter Bunny (it was him that left open Jesus’ tomb, allowing him to escape) in one sitting. Watch out for Salad Claus, who leaves cold, healthy food in your bed, later on. These things come in threes.

Guy from Talk Talk calls to discuss getting a new amazing super high speed broadband line into the house for only £5 extra a month. Fine, says I, just email me the details and I'll have a think about it.

No way, they apparently don't email customers these days (huh?), he wants me to sign up there and then on the phone. When I said I'm not going to do that, he gets all snippy and ends the call. Soznotsoz about your lost commission there. I didn't need to take your call in the first place.

My neighbour to the right of me said hello Cj. I've never met him and don't know his name. I'll have to ask my other neighbour his name. Maybe I have but my short term memory is shot. 😡 I'm just back from the local shop, and as soon as I walk through the doors my mind goes blank

At least you have benevolent helpers (or maybe binevolent). Malevolent little elves may have been at work with my Fantasy football team. I just checked it, expecting a decent enough score from my captain (Jarrod Bowen, who I had just bought). He got 11 points, which is good, but it should have been doubled. Instead, my captain somehow was Martinelli from Arsenal who got red-carded last night. I've never had him as captain so I don't know what happened. But I know that 0 X 2 = 0. ☹️