How are you doing compared to the peers you grew up with?

Out of my core group of friends from home, despite one of the higher achievers of the group in terms of Leaving Certs, I'd think most are in a better place than I am financially due to their having made better / different life choices. There's one who we all lost touch with who heads up a medical research institute in the States and is presumably loaded now but TBH he was always going to do well and we lost touch with him the second he started Medicine in college. The Med students during my time in UCG / NUI, Galway tended to stick to their own faculty socially. There'd have been a few exceptions but they were very much a clique...

None of us ended up as total wasters and I'd imagine most would be doing about as well as our secondary school teachers would have predicted.

My secondary school had streaming and I was at or near the top of the top class (and year) in terms of academic ability and LC points. Also scored very well in the verbal/numerical part of the DAT. Did well in college too, at or near top of class every year.

Now, it's over 25 years since the LC and it is pretty clear how people are doing in their careers.

If my peers are the ~30 others that were in the top class in secondary school, I have done badly from a career pov. I am also not in a relationship and don't have children so that could be considered a failure too although a fair amount of that is by choice. On the plus side, I probably have more money than most thanks to inheritances and extreme saving.

If my peers are those from my college course, I am probably about average or slightly above average from a career pov. A lot of those people were highly intelligent and top of their classes in their respective schools yet have had mediocre careers. The people who have done the best out of this college peer group are those who were the biggest assholes - cheats, liars and manipulators. This is less apparent in my secondary school peer group but it's a factor there too. Reasonable intelligence + being an asshole correlates with success in life IME.

I left school before my cse exams (Northern Ireland) but I still attended 3 exams scheduled, Maths Physics and Computer studies. I got grade 1 in all of those but I wanted to fix cars so that was what I was at.

I'm 54 now, I never had to buy or tax insure a car ever, always a garage policy insurance and always something that I could drive every evening.

Today I run my own garage, and loving it.

Degree's ain't for everyone just do what you enjoy.

I went to a similar school where classes were graded as yours were after all entrants completed an entry exam. Always felt it likely was very damaging to the self-confidence of those in lower classes as everyone knew why ended up in whatever class you were in.

I was in the top class and was bullied by some guys I knew for being a 'swot' literally in the first week of 1st year and one of those guys who was involved in that continued with that form of bullying for the next 3 years. Some of the teachers were absolute demons in how they belittled those in lower classes and effectively bullied them with statements like 'any wonder you're in this class when you couldn't even do that, learn that' and so on.

Some of the students didn't help themselves, making it clear they had no interest in school, but the class identification literally told them you are on the bottom rung here. I can understand why it was done, in theory it allowed classes to move at a consistent level but in application I think it definitely negatively impacted many.

As for comparison with my peers? Who's to say? Depends on the metric. One of those people I talk about above left even before the junior cert and started working as a block layer apprentice in the mid 90's and rode the celtic tiger wave like a pro and was probably making more than any of the teachers in the school by the time he was 18. Built several houses himself and sold them on throughout his 20's. Think he suffered health difficulties then and lost a lot of what he had earned. Met another guy about 5 years after we left school and he had 4 kids at that point and I just couldn't fathom having that level of responsibility at that age. 20 years later and I have zero and unlikely to have any which does get to me but I don't know if I'd want to have at what he had if that was the alternative.

We're out of school over a decade.

Well nobody has murdered anybody yet.

Those who were smart in 1st class were fairly consistent all the ways through school and went onto university and did medicine, law etc.

A few who's mammy hammered there ABC's into them tough were average in secondary.

A few pushed themselves to get into college. Some stayed at it and others didn't.

A nice few of us went to IT's and didn't stick at it and eventually found jobs in other areas.

Nearly all the people in my college class dropped out of the course and went into different areas.

One guy I went to school with killed himself.

A few people I knew at college died.

A few people never did much realtionshop/carer wise but stayed out of trouble with the law.

Those who were trouble generally are now also. Robberies, drugs assault, traffic offences, etc.

I just went on to have a rather modest job in science although I've a really good partner, family, friend base and a dream place to live which more than makes up for it ☺️

In my old secondary school class, one guy had a dream back then of being a fireman and he actually went on an achieved that. He's still a fireman to this day. Another really decent lad from my class went into science also and worked in it for a number of years. He now owns his own pub in Limerick with his brother. Another old friend of mine from my class is involved in music production and has played/DJed with several groups over the years. My cousin who was a year ahead of me, and another lad who was in the same year as me were both members of a boyband called Remix for a while. They even got some TV time on a Saturday Morning kids show playing one of their numbers. They didn't make it big though sadly.

I think I'm probably the most unsuccessful person ever to come out of my grammar school. I can't imagine how anyone would be less successful than me, unless you died early I suppose. I don't look anyone up as I have no interest in knowing what they are doing.

In terms of my primary school group, they probably aren't as successful as the secondary school peers but still more successful than me.

I don't have any friends nowadays so it doesn't bother me about others success. When you don't hang around successful people it doesn't bother you what others are doing.

I haven't seen any of them in years, apart from one woman I went to primary school with. She recently got divorced. I had two close friends in secondary school. One had a nervous breakdown and ended up in a really bad way. The other works in retail and is married with a few kids.

I remember scrolling through bebo years ago and seeing a lot of the lads I went to school with living in Australia and NZ. They seemed to be doing fairly well for themselves. I've no idea what they're at now though.

1 died of cancer in ‘16… real nice guy but as a kid he always seemed to have ailment after ailment, illness after illness… must be an unlucky family as he lost his sister a few years previously and his father died quiet young too.

1 works in the same industry I did… a contractor of my ex employer I had numerous dealings as did other colleagues, he’s doing good, on about 55-60 grand but an absolute dose who despite being tasked with working for us was slow as fûck to meet deadlines or provide ad hoc support when required.

2 now are in a band together who are in demand for corporate events, a residency in a swanky hotel bar and also work recording tv soundtracks . One too is a session musician who played on a Paul Brady record I think if memory serves me well or someone of that ilk anyway..nice lads, good to see them doing well at something they love.

Me, I’m still alive, returning to health after a difficult few years but the future is bright, sky the limit

This is something I worried about, then I quit my job and eventually got lucky and now don’t worry anymore

No idea. Don't really care either. Never had friends in school or after it. Never needed any.

I have the most "thanks" on boards from anyone in my school year. So yeah im a fairly big deal.

Thanks

Depends on how you measure success. Different expectations from different eras.

I had a horrible time at primary school where I had a few teachers who were absolute tramps. Never spared a few slaps, pulling our ears, making little of us. My dad died suddenly when he was 47, I was only 11 years of age. My big brother brought me back to school with a warning to the principle if ever touched me again he would kick him up and down the corridor. I wasn't touched again but other kids got it worse. One lad told me he didnt mind getting slaps from teachers. The insults still haunt him. He dribbled a bit and the teacher used to insult him.

I enjoyed my secondary school the variety and meeting people from other towns. The teachers were very good. It was a technical school and from what I know a few went into trades and done very well for themselves. I didnt keep in touch with many from secondary school but I still meet lads from my primary school everyday and they have all done well. But I just wasn't happy in school and I got a job when I was 16 and am still in it, im 58. I drank a fair bit for about 10 years but am off it 30 years now, My only regret in life was not returning to school, maybe not a regret but something I would change. My GP a family friend wanted me to go back and he was prepared to fund it. I done my first exam when I was 54 year and nearly had a nervous breakdown. Practically I was good but didn't like written side of it. I can retire in 2 years with a full pension but am seriously thinking of doing a proper course around social care or something where I would be dealing with people. I love talking and listening to people and am a good communicator. I was a decent enough sports coach.

Being from a rural community farming was the main thing in my area and a lot of lads went into farming, a few very successfully. A few went working in retail and factories. A few emigrated to USA, UK and Canada. One became a priest and sadly has officiated at funerals of former school pals. Sadly a few were killed in car crashes. Not many went on to college. But I know a few returned to do various course through their work. There is far more emphasis on education now than when I was at school. It is like everyone must have a degree when they clearly dont. One or two lad set up their own companies based on trades they had done, Carpentry, Electrical, plumbing etc and they have been successful.

As it is Im happily married, 2 children, 1 dog, 2 cars (the green party are making it difficult though). Saved a few quid along the way. I own my own house. Our eldest graduated with first class honors from Trinity and has landed a very good job with a top company and the other is currently in Trinity and doing very well. We put a lot of effort into their education and encouraged them without any pressure. In my eyes thats success.

Are the people who went on to be very successful really happy with life.? I'M not sure they are. No doubt some are but a few I know gave up sports and other clubs to pursue their work careers and missed out on stuff in the community working long hours.

Great thread.

Maybe they are looking at you and saying the same?

Because someone appears to be successful doesn't mean they are actually successful. What have they really got out of how you see them? How are you measuring success?

I spoke to my boss about 10 years ago about going for a certain job. He told me it wouldn't suit me. I was well liked where I was and to take up this job would require a totally different approach, a change of personality. He was right in hindsight. I think I was just at a low ebb heading for 50 and possibly thinking life was passing me by. But when I thought about it I was happy enough. The guy who took up the role is not liked at all.

We are not all cut out for management roles yet management can't do without us. So take stock of where you. I dont have any qualifications like you and I would regard what you have as been successful. Measure where you are. Where you want to go.

If we had that "American thing" of a graduation book with 'Most likely to be President', 'Most likely to end up in Jail', etc I would have been the latter.

However, at the risk of sounding immodest, I would have been underestimated!

I'm at the top of the hierarchy in my professional field, with responsibility for the work of more than 500 staff in a large public service organisation. Since leaving school at age 16, without a Leaving Certificate... I've completed study at BSc(Hons) level, Post Grad Dip, and have two Masters degrees on top of professional education. Not bad, for a lad who didn't do a leaving cert!!!

Anyone I went to school with cant think of or never heard of anyone who did anything unusual I would say 80% are nurses or teachers or something similar.

My friends, I have known since we were tots walking to school together, one runing their own business with their husband has become well off. The other sold up in their 50s, made money from their house and move beside the sea in Wexford, and only works part-time now.

they are married with kids and im getting drunk playing elden ring. we can tell who is clearly winning 😂

I was so full of potential at school. Always in the top sector of my class, popular and doing well in most exams. Then I went and got pregnant in the 2nd year of my 2 year college course. Married the loser, went back to do another course, worked for a music magazine (dream job!) left to keep him from moaning about how much I enjoyed my work. Moved back to my home county, had another child, kicked the abusive husband out and spent almost 20 years doing jobs I wasn't that mad about just to keep my kids in a warm, comfy home and give them a chance at life.

Went back to college when I was 40, ended up following my childhood dreams and becoming a writer. When my youngest went to college I went travelling in Asia and lived there for 4 years until COVID. Moved back home temporarily, but now am in Albania for a year, own a content agency and am loving life.

So while most of my friends went on to be nurses, teachers, an archeaologist, work in computers or finance, I raised 2 amazing young lads, struggled through some really shi**y times and now live the life I dreamed of on those depressing, lonely nights.

I feel successful despite the fact that I make crap money and currently don't have a partner, but I have so much fun getting to know people from all over the world as I travel and explore it. I should be sleeping, but an urgent client request came in so am up dealing with it because I am due to have no electricity tomorrow! The joys of running a business eh?