Does anyone else notice service workers are disproportiantely rude to them?

completedit · 13-02-2022 12:45pm #1

I swear to god I hate these micro interactions. I go out of my way to be respectful, courteous and polite but people who work in these positions seem to be go out of their way to be rude to me. I don't know maybe it is my nervous energy that makes them like this but yeah it is something I have picked up on. Has anyone else experienced this?

Ficheall · 13-02-2022 12:48pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058232782/does-anyone-else-notice-service-workers-are-disproportiantely-rude-to-them

You may find this helpful:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/133066-8-signs-youre-a-toxic-person-because-sometimes-the-problem-in-your-life-is-you

13-02-2022 12:50pm

It is not the role they wish to be in and they are unhappy and it doesn't matter how polite you are to them. The experience with them is a lottery.

I am getting to the stage where I'd be happier dealing with a well thought out App or Bot than poorly paid, poorly trained, unempowered Customer Services staff. An App is good or bad but a disrespectful or uninterested Customer facing staff member can put you in a funk for the rest of the day.

Companies will figure this out and do everything they can to avoid Customers interacting with Staff who might annoy them.

riffmongous · 13-02-2022 12:50pm

Remember when you started this thread OP? Maybe these NPCs dont like being treated as NPCs

One of the most noticeable differences between me and other people, NPC's as I call them is that I constantly play devil's advocate or go against the grain. I've often wondered is it because for a lot of my life I have absorbed a myriad of opinions and viewpoints on a site like Boards that has caused me to be cynical and analytical in a way most normies just aren't. I feel that the more you use message boards the more you are exposed to differing opinions and viewpoints in a way that most regular people just aren't. I quite like being like this but normies just cannot understand it at all.

Riesen_Meal · 13-02-2022 12:55pm

No offense intended by this OP, but maybe you overdo the politeness?

Would probably do my nut the other side of the counter 😂

13-02-2022 1:15pm

"Hey, how's it going. A pack of Marlboro Red please."

"20's"

"Yeah, cheers."

Taps

"Would you like a receipt?"

"Nah, you're grand. Cheers, mate."

Hard to see how you can f*ck something like that up, to be honest.

Ficheall · 13-02-2022 1:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624559#Comment_118624559

Shite apps can put you in a funk for a lot longer than a day.

growleaves · 13-02-2022 1:29pm

Shop people aren't rude to me, or if they are I haven't noticed.

Bicyclette · 13-02-2022 1:34pm

Perhaps I've been very lucky or very protected but I've actually found everyone in retail exceptionally pleasant and kind. A few times in Dunnes I've gone to the manager to specifically complement certain staff members by name, because they have gone out of their way for me.

maestroamado · 13-02-2022 1:41pm

Call centres seem to have a lost of questions and that's pretty well what determines the conversation... Ryanair booking no NCT car reg they hnad=rdlu say hello... I expect its for efficiency but i do agree with OP it could be done better... If your question is not on the list they cannot deal with it...

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 2:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624560#Comment_118624560

Yeah, the NPC/Normies stuff would tend to give a peek into why the OP is having these interactions. There are probably all sorts of clinical labels for that sorta thing, but I think of people like that I've known as 'differently social'. Some might be on the spectrum, some might be extremely introverted, some are just wired to be, or learned to be socially pessimistic, while some missed out on the developmental phase as far as human social interactions go and people pick up on that. So the exact same interaction for me could come across entirely differently to them.

13-02-2022 2:22pm

No. Can’t say that I have. I’m always having the best banter with people working in shops and so on.

I wouldn’t call them “service workers” though. I just think that sounds a bit American corporate and somewhat dehumanising like “human production units”.

Most of the time working in a shop, or any job that involves lots of public interactions, you deal with so many people that it would be pretty unlikely you’d be intentionally rude. It’s just one of hundreds, possible even thousands, of interactions they may have in a day.

It’s the bit of banter and flow that makes the day go by.

13-02-2022 2:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624923#Comment_118624923

This is an Ad Hominem attack and reported as such.

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 2:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624952#Comment_118624952

Report away, but it kinda reinforces my point about not quite getting, or misrepresenting things and how perception varies.

Going on about people being 'normies' and 'NPCs' is not exactly healthy or normal. The OP is happy enough to relate he thinks like this and at the same time wonders why people may be rude to him. the two might be connected.

fineso.mom · 13-02-2022 2:37pm

I genuinely can't remember the last time customer service/retail worker has been ride to me. I'm sure it must have happened sometime but if it did I probably said to myself 'jaysis that was a bit rude,they must be having a bad day',and would have forgotten about it by the time I got to the door of the shop.

I have on the other hand seen customers be rude/condescending to staff numerous times. Just recently an old man roared at a lovely young woman in a local shop that she was "nothing but a tramp",simply because he made a mistake and didn't understand his left from his right. She had told him the milk was on the left of the coffee machine. He wasn't long being told to cop on by other customers.

So,no op, I have not noticed 'service workers' being rude.

13-02-2022 2:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624995#Comment_118624995

You are seeking to trigger the OP. You are only able to do this because he has made a statement which exposes his feelings. Why would anyone chose to engage on a forum where other posters see this as an exploitable opportunity to be passive agressive.

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 2:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625019#Comment_118625019

Yep. Your perceptions heavily impact your experiences. The extreme optimist sees a very different world to the extreme pessimist. It's very self selecting. If you believe people tend to be dicks it's easy to find them and indeed even subconciously push them to be, or only remember the bad encounters and forget the good. Like you said if you're generally happy enough in the world and someone is being a dick to you, you tend to do two things: 1) write it off as an outlier and forget about it, and 2) put yourself in their shoes and explain it away as them having a bad moment. Number 2 is the important factor IMHO, the ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes. I have found both extreme introverts and extroverts tend to lack this ability.

AyeGer · 13-02-2022 2:54pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624952#Comment_118624952

I’m not sure if you are joking here or not?

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 2:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625073#Comment_118625073

"Trigger"? give me an ever loving break. In life and forums for that matter, if you put things out there others are likely to question them, or point out where the problem could be. If someone gets 'triggered' by that they should refrain from sharing and maybe seek help so they can be helped to navigate the world in a better way for them?

13-02-2022 2:58pm

toxicity abounds.

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 3:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625123#Comment_118625123

What is more 'toxic'? Thinking of other people as normies and NPCs(no doubt picked up from online communities who feel similar. The jargon will out) and thinking 'service workers' are disproportionally rude, or pointing out this is not a great way to go through life and isn't healthy social interaction and avenues are available to maybe help shift those preceptions?

13-02-2022 3:10pm

You throw your weight around this website while being convinced that Vanilla is to blame for the site falling out of favour rather than your pass remarkable self.

DullSpark · 13-02-2022 3:11pm

It's mainly a Dublin thing. Had to do a few days work up there and the lads and I couldn't get over how rude people were, they wouldn't open their mouth regardless of how much you tried to interact

mikemac2 · 13-02-2022 3:18pm

As they say OP, if you are sitting alone on a over-crowded bus the crazy person is you

How are you always getting bad service? How are you coming across? Tis your good self who was in every interaction that went wrong. Customer service in Ireland can be good to excellent and even when it is bad it is not always the fault of the lowly paid person you are dealing with

BrianD3 · 13-02-2022 3:24pm

Doesn't happen that often, when it does happen I assume that they are rude to everyone but maybe I'm wrong - If I was a hot woman or a 6 foot 4 Chad, perhaps that would push some different buttons in their brains.

One thing that annoys me is surly retail workers who put change on the counter meaning I have to pick up flat coins from a flat counter. They could easily have dropped it into my hand without any bodily contact. Increasingly common as idiots seem to have forgotten how to use cash. Some glare at you and at your cash when you offer it.

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 3:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625181#Comment_118625181

Maybe in the city centre Dullspark? Can't say I've noticed that anywhere else in Dublin. Quite the opposite in fact. Maybe some perception is at play here too? I've a friend who has been quite convinced when travelling in rural Ireland that "they hate Dubs" and "if you're not local, they're rude" and I've never come across that myself. Or very bloody rarely anyway. Now he's a bit extreme in that to be fair.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625175#Comment_118625175

Ah jaysus, now I'm personally responsible for the site falling out of favour? 😂 oh by the by, you're going the ad hominem route. The salient difference being I'm not going to get het up about it.

ZX7R · 13-02-2022 3:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625226#Comment_118625226

Common practice in Europe to put change with receipt flat on the counter or in a specific money dish.

Reason been your more likely to count it and rectify if you're change is wrong.

MrMusician18 · 13-02-2022 3:47pm

How would someone know really if "service workers" are disproportionately rude to them? You are a sample of one, and can't know what others experience.

The vast majority of interactions I have in shops are neither rude nor overly pleasant, but purely transactional.

13-02-2022 5:22pm

Just an observation, but I think it's something that sometimes creeps in online from the US.

I'm Irish, but grew up in the US partially and also spent a lot of my life in France, Germany and Spain and there's a BIG difference in attitude towards people working in shops, restaurants and other retail and similar jobs where they're interacting directly with the public.

My experience in the US will proclaim how classless it is, but it really isn't. There's an ethos that the customer is always right, even when they're completely out of order and being ridiculous. It's reinforced by the endless chasing tips and commission, so you get this attitude of 'service' and 'the served' which is pretty unhealthy at times. I find you see the explosions of 'Karens' in circumstances like that and they look down their nose at the person behind the counter or with the tray in their hand.

It's in rather stark contrast to France, where there's an exchange of politenesses required. If you walk into a small shop, a hotel reception, a cafe etc and don't acknowledge the person behind the counter, or who you're passing and is stacking the shelves - you smile, say bonjour/bonsoir (monsieur/madame), you genuinely respect what they're doing, you address them as 'vous' and basically just treat them like a human who's worthy of your attention - have the chats, the banter, talk about the weather etc etc ... Once you do that, everything runs very smoothly and you'll get wonderful customer service and everyone's in great form. If you don't, they will be quite annoyed and you'll get a reaction of 'who the **** does he/she think they are..?"

Ireland's somewhere in the middle of those two positions, we're much more informal, but probably closer to France than the US in some regards - particularly when it comes to unspoken attitudes to egalitarianism and not being pompous or punching down. We've a very similar sense that if someone has 'notions' they're going to get a poor response and there certainly won't be any major rush to bend over backwards to accommodate someone throwing a Karen style tantrum.

I have seen countless examples of where Americans wandered into a French context in particular, but sometimes an Irish one, where they're confrontational because they don't get grovelling attention and the result is they get ignored or looked at in bemused bewilderment (or in France possibly might even get a a very haughty response). The Americans then conclude the French are extremely rude and the French conclude the Americans are obnoxious and demanding and it turns into a stand off.

It's about seeing people as people, not as jobs and about respecting what they do whether they're a CEO or a street sweeper. You don't look down your nose at someone because of their job and you also respect the fact they more than likely know what they're talking about in their field of expertise and that they or of worth and that their opinion is of worth. Also just appreciating that they're doing a job, they might not be having a wonderful day just at that moment.

A lot of life's about the banter and the, often minor, interactions along the way that just make everything that little bit more pleasant and add a bit of craic to what can be a pretty dry world otherwise.

One eyed Jack · 13-02-2022 5:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625019#Comment_118625019

I genuinely can't remember the last time customer service/retail worker has been ride to me.

Giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘customer satisfaction’ there mom 😏

Nah, can’t say I’ve ever experienced people working in shops, restaurants etc being rude to me. The odd time alright I thought they might be being overly sincere, taking the idea of customer service to heart sort of thing, but as I’d get used to them* I’d realise that nah, that’s just the way they are or their personality, shouldn’t read into it too much.

*shocking staff turnover in some places, but particularity with women there’s a lot of the whole pet names thing going on - effort to make small chat and what not, “how’s your day love? Thanks pet”, that sort of thing. It’s grand really. The odd time I’m as bad myself - spotted a nice set of shellacs on the girl behind the counter - “nice nails”, I could swear she was going to direct me to the fava beans and chianti aisle 😂

Gregor Samsa · 13-02-2022 5:59pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625175#Comment_118625175

Who was it that once said: “This is an Ad Hominem attack and reported as such.”? 🤔

Back on track, I wonder do people have different definitions of rude.

If someone serving me threw the stuff at me, or exclaimed “That’ll be €3.20, DICKHEAD!”, I’d consider that rude.

I wouldn’t consider not smiling, not greeting me with exuberance or not chatting as rude. Or even them not saying thanks or goodbye at the end of the interaction.

So no, I very rarely encounter rude staff. Although there was a guy in my local Tesco that used to fire the stuff down the checkout to the bagging area. He used to scan things really slowly - sometimes he’d stop and just start reading the instructions or ingredients on a packet. And you’d be standing there waiting for him. Next thing he’d scan the item and absolutely launch it at you. He never said a single word (not even to tell you your total), never made eye contact. So I don’t know of he was rude and aggressive or just a bit weird. Made me laugh anyway.

13-02-2022 6:09pm

Observing Tens of thousands of comments from a prolific poster with off hand insults peppered throughout is not an ad hominem attack on that Poster.

13-02-2022 6:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625181#Comment_118625181

I'm in Dublin since 1993, and I have always had extremely good interactions with 'service providers ' which I'm taking to mean retail staff & customer service staff.

I often think fair play to them, cos some of the sh1t they put up with would have me crawling across the counter in attack mode!

Strumms · 13-02-2022 6:58pm

Customer service isn’t what it was 10-15 years ago but I don’t find people really rude…. There are a lot of absolutely lazy useless knobs though…

when I worked in supermarket retail in my teens if someone said.. “ sorry I can’t find the packed lunch meats, can you help ? “..

my reaction would be to bring said customer to them, takes 60 seconds there and back. “ yes I’ll show you, follow me “

now…last year this happened,..I was looking for Hersheys ice cream sauce / syrup… mmmm

” yeah, eh third, aisle over, no sorry, second, and eh yeah, up the top and if you can’t find it just ask someone, yeah “

im asking you ya poxy fûckin dunderhead clown, show me what I’m looking for ffs… ! take 60 seconds out of you x hour shift to assist a customer ! 🤪

Ficheall · 13-02-2022 7:05pm

Hershey's? Should have shown you the fecking door! :P

Ficheall · 13-02-2022 7:05pm

13-02-2022 7:29pm

Staffing level also isn’t what it was 15-20 years ago. Since Aldi & Lidl started running an entire shop with far fewer people, the others have followed - M&S and some high end SuperValus maybe being the only exceptions.

That 60 seconds out of their shift is down to what their store manager will allow them to do and they’re not taking it out of their shift. They’re doing floor assistance instead of whatever it is they’re supposed to be doing - usually shelf stacking.

NedsNotDead · 13-02-2022 7:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058232782/does-anyone-else-notice-service-workers-are-disproportiantely-rude-to-them

It's probably just you

DullSpark · 13-02-2022 9:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625870#Comment_118625870

It was all the workers in one particular shop but I shouldn't really paint them all with the same brush. Had a one serving us down here last night for dinner and there wasn't any hello or thank you out of her either

anewme · 13-02-2022 9:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118626034#Comment_118626034

He legged it as he thought you were Chad looking for Hersheys.

SnuggyBear · 13-02-2022 9:50pm

The less they say to me the better tbh. I pay and say thanks and that's it I don't expect anything else.

Leg End Reject · 13-02-2022 10:03pm

I find almost all retail and service workers here to be friendly and polite, the others are indifferent rather than rude.

The only negative I would say is that staff in larger chains don't always have the expertise to help, whereas staff in a local independent shop will know their stuff and be able to advise. That's the fault of the employer and their race to the bottom though, hiring younger, inexperienced staff to cut back on wages.

As an aside, I'm in knots at Wibbs' new fan. 😂😂😂

B.A._Baracus · 13-02-2022 10:34pm

I've had so many jobs in retail over the years. Most people just want to go in, do their shop and get out. So most people are seemingly 'alright' - thing is tho, the second someone is not getting suited or not getting their way that's when people become scum to staff.

It can be over anything like closing your till. Not opening another till. An item being out of stock. Store is closing so you can't let anyone else in. Dumb little things. But its always the same - someone not getting their way and then they become jerks.

Heckler · 13-02-2022 10:53pm

Part of my job involves dealing with the public buying stuff out of a warehouse, mostly tradesmen.

I approach them with a Hey how're ya doing kinda of thing. If they then stick a sales docket in my face without saying a word then thats the treatment they get back.

I'll process the order and get it to them. No more no less. Which I'm sure is fine by them but I won't be killing myself to get them sorted next time.

Meet plenty of nice folks during the week but some are pig ignorant.

A tip to some. You want good service ? Don't be an asshole.

We have a lot of repeat customers. Guess who gets looked after faster. It ain't the assholes.

A please and thank you cost nothing and goes a long way.

sporina · 13-02-2022 11:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058232782/does-anyone-else-notice-service-workers-are-disproportiantely-rude-to-them

On the contrary OP - since the recession, I have noted on many many occasions how well "service workers" do their jobs to such a high standard.. I could give you several examples.. I buy pressies for some at xmas, have written reviews on line for some - etc..

Q - and no judgement - but have you examined your own role in the interaction? you don't need to answer on here - but mayb just think about it.. don't look on it as a flaw if you find your at fault - just something to improve on..

milehip · 13-02-2022 11:06pm

Wtf are Normie's and NPC's?

AyeGer · 13-02-2022 11:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118626764#Comment_118626764

I'm a the same I'm polite but just want to get it over with. If I'm in good form or they are in good form ill interact and have a laugh. Mainly i just want to pay and get out though. Especially if there are people behind me in the queue.

In my local shop some of the older women, normally in their 60's and 70's interact a bit too much with the staff. Chatting away while rummaging for coins to pay, then half way through asking for a scratchcard, more rummaging for money, then can i get few bin labels aswell please, then more chatting etc. As if there is nobody behind them in the queue. Drives me bananas.

Heckler · 14-02-2022 12:17am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118627253#Comment_118627253

My local supervalu is exactly this. I normally shop in Aldi for the speed. The staff there would fire through 3 trolley loads while SV were sorting a basket.

That said I appreciate that for many elderly and others this may be their only outlet and social interaction so no I just figure whats 5 minutes of my time when it might mean a lot to the person in front.

The one that boils my piss is in aldi/lidl when they have clear signs saying pack behind at the shelves but nah I'll pack in my bags at the till. And worse, the idiots who don't bother with a trolley or basket and have so much **** at the till they gather it all up in their arms then when they have to pay they have to put it all down again to fish out their cash/card and pick it all up again. Bring a bag you **** **** idiots.

BaywatchHQ · 14-02-2022 2:02am

They are usually rude to me as they can smell my autism, humans sniff out illness like rats do. I make them uncomfortable with my quiet awkward voice and lack of eye contact and they take it as an insult and they don't put on the fake friendliness like what they do to the other people in the queue. I try to only use shops with self checkouts now.

If you think about it, they should be friendly to everyone as they are paid to do that, even if they are serving an awkward person. They are being unprofessional.

Dempo1 · 14-02-2022 8:10am

Personally I've not experienced any rudeness from service staff, infact I'd have to say given the stress levels working in a retail environment over the past 2 years, it's quite remarkable how patient many I've seen have been. Customers on the other hand have acted appalling and I've witnessed some extraordinary behaviour, including assaults, astonishing verbal abuse and on more than one occasion Garda interventions and I might add, to deal with people from all walks of life.

Pre pandemic, I decided to try something completely different and worked in the mobile phone retail sector, had previously spent almost 30 years in hospitality. Over a number of years, I couldn't begin to describe the Shyte Mobile phone staff (networks) have to listen too and put up with. Working in hospitality, long hours, extreme pressure was a walk in the park compared to working in retail.

On the medical side of service, I had two very distinct experiences. Broken leg, right at the start of the Pandemic. Ambulance crew, amazing, Hospital (Midlands) essentially empty, had to be patched up, Trauma Team amazing and I had to make my way to a Dublin private hospital for operation at a time when private hospitals doing general Surgeries. Prior to discharge, staff change over and my god a Nurse from hell arrived, won't go into what happened but a formal complaint followed, upheld and written apology issued. Private hospital team we're brilliant, operation done and discharged to recoupriate.

Finally, late November 2021, emergency admission (Midlands hospital again) 8 day stay and honestly I couldn't praise the entire staff enough, despite the obvious pressure they were under and anticipated Covid Surge.

So, I'll simply say, wether it be frontline, Retail, Service staff, of course there'll be an occasional bad moments, experiences but it's my experience generally Customers and service users, perhaps need to look in the Mirror, occasionally.

14-02-2022 8:37am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118627062#Comment_118627062

It ain’t good, but that’s not to say they are haphaphapless.

Does anyone else notice service workers are disproportiantely rude to them?

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