Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 3:13am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118607785#Comment_118607785

Absolutely love this post and it comes to exemplify the non traditional relationships that have come forbearance with the opening of society. Both you and your girlfriend have this fantastic connection. You care for each other however you take note of each others desires which she cannot fulfill by virtue of her being a woman. That poor chap who got into a relationship..I wonder what became of him?

I lifted my ban on married men, had not done it for years yet at the end of the day I'm just a facilitator.

Tip my hat to you mate x

rn · 10-02-2022 8:48am

I didn't think "they", as a community, had any more wild, random sex than "normal straight" young ones!

The plight of the "sex starved middle age men" community has gotten lost here...

Although you do have a point re living out certain fantasys for some people... And let them off I say.

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 9:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609086#Comment_118609086

Strange, it's been so ubiquitous from my experience that I've never really found imposing gay cultural norms upon straights had to be done . I take it Copppers is filled to the brim with crusty virgins who would never practice promiscuity and would go to bed at 10pm for fear of missing getting up at 6am for the Angelus 😇

Quite reminded of the joke..difference between straight man and gay man is approx ten pints . (Four glasses of wine and an enduring curiosity work with farmers apparently)

Pondering how many are choking on their weetabix

10-02-2022 9:13am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609183#Comment_118609183

It's very well established that the LGBT community is far, far, far more promiscuous and laissez-faire as a culture with sex than the straight community.

What we're seeing here is the mad idea that maybe half the population is really bisexual (either through act or through thought) - even if they don't admit it, and so the world as a whole is a majority of LGBT-ism, promiscuity, and hopeful that everyone adopts open-style relationships that exist within the LGBT community itself.

As I say, it's just an argument in favour that straight men should be as LGBT as the LGBT community; an extension of a fantasy.

Let's put it this way: a straight man would never have started this thread.

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 9:29am

Non traditional relationships are not the realm exclusively of the LGBT community. Anthropological studies will detail non nuclear family roles that sprung up in places like Polynesia, various Arab countries and North America over millenia. From my own purview our thinking is habitually restricted to conformist notions that closed relationships are the sole model. Personally speaking I'm a gay man who would thoroughly enjoy a monogamous relationship yet I'm also mindful other relationships exist.

Let's really look at the nub of this, is the castigation of other role models by straight men a quandary attributed to their frustration of wanting what we have in open relationships or is it a poor attempt to try bring everyone down to hetronormative ways of living.

10-02-2022 9:41am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609235#Comment_118609235

Well, I'm a gay man too, so there isn't uniformity of opinion among and within the LGBT community either - and so I can't be accused of dragging one down to that hateful word, heteronormativity.

10-02-2022 9:50am

bring everyone "down" to herteronormativity?

lol

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 9:54am

The word is absolutey horrifically woke in nature but does serve what we are discussing. Subscribing to straight values rigid in thinking at the expense of other relationship types. Uniformity of opinion in our own community could make for very boring discussion. Most of society functions on a closed relationship . Setting aside the realm of fantasy, what we should be looking at here as the discussion evolved is the acceptance of people outside standard parameters that society deems as normal. Men who engage sexually with other men where the wife knows or those for whom experimentation can be sought free from the labels. My original intent was to gain a general consensus of to what varying degree do straight men seek out same sex attraction having encountered (and perhaps you might be the same) 'straight men'.

10-02-2022 10:00am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609301#Comment_118609301

You talk about heteronormativity, but wasn't gay marriage and gay couples having kids a stab at the heteronormative way of living?

And on your second point, I don't believe that you created this thread to have an honest conversation about straight men having gay sex. I think it's purely based on fantasy.

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 10:05am

Any society as a,minimum standard should treat its citizens equally SSM is a redressing of that balance.

Whether you believe me or not is truly of no consequence to my good self,the most important matter is we've been given a forum to where these matters can be discussed.

You know as well as I do that if we want an itch scratched there are more satiatimg ways than Internet message boards.

GreeBo · 10-02-2022 11:02am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118608213#Comment_118608213

Well I'm afraid that I 100% disagree that the definitions have no impact.

There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in being attracted to someone born of the same sex as you vs someone born of the opposite sex who decides to change their gender to the same as yours.

The sex of the other person I am attracted to determines my sexuality, not their self appointed gender. Their choices cannot impact my sexuality.

In a thread about what level of attraction or occurrence constitutes being gay, bi or straight I think its pretty vital to establish what is meant by gender vs sexuality!

10-02-2022 11:58am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609554#Comment_118609554

I think the point they're making, even though I disagree with it, is that if a man undergoes all the surgery to look like a woman, genitals, breasts etc. - then wouldn't you be attracted to them, too?

If they're physically the same, what's the issue?

Not my question, but I believe that's what they're trying to say.

LLMMLL · 10-02-2022 2:05pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609758#Comment_118609758

I am not making that point at all. If I was making that point I would indeed be making a point about sex vs gender. As I have said multiple times I am not making a point about sex vs gender. It's just that you are all so obsessed with the trans argument you cannot let it go in a thread where it is completely irrelevant.

LLMMLL · 10-02-2022 2:14pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609554#Comment_118609554

Well I'm afraid that I 100% disagree that the definitions have no impact.

There is a huge difference, in my opinion, in being attracted to someone born of the same sex as you vs someone born of the opposite sex who decides to change their gender to the same as yours.

I did not say "definitions have no impact". This is a straw man argument. What I'm saying is that the definitions of sex and gender have no impact on THIS argument because I am not making any point about sex or gender. It's just that you are so sore about past arguments in completely unrelated threads that you cannot see this.

You have completely ignored all the points I made in my last response to you (that my argument doesn't even use the words sex or gender) or that other people who have polar opposite views to me use the same phrase as me because the phrase does not impact on the argument at all and you had no issue with this person using the phrase.

You can continue to invent stuff that I never said if it makes you feel better to argue against the ghost of threads past but it seems a bit futile to me.

10-02-2022 2:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118610354#Comment_118610354

Trust me, it's not any of us who is obsessed with the trans- question.

But someone else is, yes.

LLMMLL · 10-02-2022 3:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118610493#Comment_118610493

Lol have you seen your post signature?

10-02-2022 4:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118609301#Comment_118609301

Straight men = 0

'Straight men' = possibly lots.

I think it's gas that some have an issue with some people defining what straight is, but they can't see the irony of being rigid in their belief that sexuality should be self defined. We're both intractable, but some of us are more aware 😀

10-02-2022 5:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118611247#Comment_118611247

The thread would be far more accurately titled, "Are you bisexual and, if so, do you cheat on your wife?".

Liberty_Bear · 10-02-2022 8:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118611591#Comment_118611591

As a matter of interest do you tend to go for married lads or not your thing?

Liberty_Bear · 11-02-2022 10:47am

A friend last night while we had a chat I mentioned this thread

"Lot of lonely or frustrated blokes out there, we are doing them a favour and we get something out of it attending to their physical needs"

Tis a point I wholeheartedly agree on

11-02-2022 11:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118606262#Comment_118606262

It is not an exception that proves the rule argument no. It is a straight reading of the definition. The definition clearly says that orientation is based on who you are "typically" attracted to.

If you go through your life being attracted to 1500 people therefore - and 1499 of them are the opposite gender to you - and 1 single person was of your own gender - then it really is going to take all kinds of mental and linguistic gymnastics to suggest that this is a "typical" case. It is not. It is the exact opposite. It is - in terms of signal/pattern to noise ratio - about as A-typical as it gets.

So taking the text of the definition and nothing else - it is entirely linguistically coherent for such a person to identify as heterosexual. It seems that rather than me taking a "exception that proves the rule" situation - it's people clinging desperately to a "single exception in an attempt to invalidate the rule".

Why this is - I can not fathom. So the words are seemingly defined slightly more broadly than people thought - and in a way that probably only applies to significantly less than 1% of actual cases. Why this bothers people - I am genuinely interested to know. And highly amused to watch it in play with some people. It really seems to bother them intensely.

On another note though - the phrase "Exception that proves the rule" is one of the phrases that almost everyone I have heard use it off line uses it wrongly and does not understand what it means. The reason being that the phrase uses the word "prove" in the scientific sense not the more vernacular sense. So people get confused how an exception to a rule can "prove" the rule to be true. Surely it does the opposite? Well actually the word "prove" in this context just means to "test". So you use exceptions and exceptional things to "test" the rules to see if they hold.

So what I am saying is not an exception proving the rule at all. Rather the rule is already in place specifically to acknowledge and address those exceptions explicitly it seems. The exception does not prove the rule in this case - because the rule is already explicitly acknowledging and addressing the exception.

ohnonotgmail · 11-02-2022 11:10am

more than 500 posts in and people are still arguing the toss about definitions. Jesus.

Ten of Swords · 11-02-2022 1:43pm

@ohnonotgmail it makes so much sense now why the medical community refer only to MSM (men who have sex with men) and avoid all the label and definition pitfalls.

Keeps it nice and simple 🤣🤣

11-02-2022 3:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118614711#Comment_118614711

What definition uses the word typically?

Purple_Bear · 11-02-2022 5:46pm

I think in general, women's sexuality is a lot more fluid than men's. I've seen and known plenty of objectively attractive men, but not once have I ever felt the desire to get under the sheets with one. I find just the thought of being with another man, repulsive. I think the majority of straight men feel the same way.

Women's sexuality on the other hand, isn't as 'set in stone'. I've known plenty of women who've admitted to having had bisexual encounters, but they still don't identify as being bi. My partner and I are in a long-term relationship and she considers herself straight, but I've watched her have very enthusiastic sex with other women, so she obviously isn't 100% straight, but she doesn't identify as being bisexual either.

Liberty_Bear · 11-02-2022 6:05pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118616917#Comment_118616917

That's a fair point. You know same sex relations are not your thing. You accept that sexuality can be fluid . It does happen with men but not to the extent as with women. Objectively attractive is a great turn of phrase too, you can appreciate other men.

Great contribution

One eyed Jack · 11-02-2022 7:07pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118611247#Comment_118611247

There’s no irony there as there’s no contradiction in pointing out that people are free to define themselves however they please, as opposed to being defined by other people who aren’t them.

That sort of person is easily dealt with, though I’m not always civil about it 😬

Annasopra · 13-02-2022 9:07pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118615556#Comment_118615556

Exactly because not everyone fits neatly into a gay, straight or bi label.

Wibbs · 13-02-2022 9:41pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118626350#Comment_118626350

Actually they pretty much do, but self defined labels are fashionable, comfortable and many people feel they don't fit in one or the other. Which is fine but I suppose there's no need to go down that rabbithole again.

14-02-2022 12:13am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118626350#Comment_118626350

They do.

PaoloGotti · 14-02-2022 12:17am

I think it is incorrect to call a man straight if he desires a sexual encounter with another man.

As a straight man I would find it a terribly distressing experience.

AllForIt · 14-02-2022 12:42am

I think this attitude of 'you can't really put people into boxes' comes directly from trans politics. That somehow you can't tell what someone is and therefore you can't put anyone into a box. Not even your parents. I think that attitude is a little bit weird, if it's genuinely held.

But in many cases I don't think it's a genuinely held opinion, I think it's just a trick. Sorry, but I will assume my mother is a heterosexual, always has been, always will be, without her ever explicitly stating such to me. The fact some mothers swing both ways, or even swung only once, with only one person and no other person ever, doesn't make any difference.

And anyway, I think it's a rotten idea. Because if anyone could flip then one in a heterosexual relationship would have desires that could lead them to seek out their sexual desires, for something they are not getting in their current relationship. So in that sense 'flipping' even only 'once' is hardly something desirable as a human trait. The idea is not the 'wow aren't' humans so sexually diverse' some people seem to think it is. Thank God we're not all bisexual.

Annasopra · 14-02-2022 1:40pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118626489#Comment_118626489

Why have Health officials for decades now been using that term then?

Wibbs · 14-02-2022 2:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118628832#Comment_118628832

Because if they use the label "Gay", "Bi", or "Homosexual" they would get fewer men coming forward because of cultural pressure and cultural shame. This was spotted during the AIDS crisis back in the 1980's and why the term came to be used. A shame that this is and certainly was the case and remains so in many if not most cultures, even with the changes in western societies(which IMHO are sadly more surface than we hope). It's not avoiding the pitfalls of self labelling, far more about avoiding the pitfalls of cultural views and personal views stemming from that impacting societal and personal health.

EG a man who claims to be Straight on a medical form who has sex with men, may baulk at Gay and Bi seems to be altogether a bridge too far as a few in this thread have demonstrated is not giving what may be pertinent details. Having a MSM box to tick sugars that pill. Or the examples of women in this thread who claim to be Straight yet have had 'enthusiastic sex' with women, or are even in decades long romantic and sexual relationships with women, they could and apparently do baulk at being labelled "Bi", would likely be more OK with ticking a box of WSW(if such a label existed) on a medical chart.

It's pretty simple human psychology. It doesn't negate the reality of their lives, or defining them as Bi, because it's quite simply the most accurate description, but where there's resistance to that it can turn out to be unhelpful.

Annasopra · 14-02-2022 2:20pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118629004#Comment_118629004

Exactly so often a person cant tick a labelled box on a form. Regardless of the reasons why this is it still proves the point that people often dont fit neatly into labels.

Wibbs · 14-02-2022 4:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118629022#Comment_118629022

Nope, all it proves is that some people don't like labels on a personal subjective level IE feelings, not that the labels don't fit on an objective level IE facts, and the MSM box was introduced for practical reasons to give such people an option they were less likely to reject.

Mad_maxx · 15-02-2022 1:51pm

Why can't those guys just be viewed as gay men who happened to get married?

Many have been doing that for countless years

ohnonotgmail · 15-02-2022 1:58pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118634458#Comment_118634458

why attach such importance to labelling them as gay? There is already a label, MSM, that covers all bases.

Mad_maxx · 15-02-2022 4:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118634493#Comment_118634493

Sleeping with another male makes a guy gay ,that he might be married to a woman is irrelevant

ohnonotgmail · 15-02-2022 4:23pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118635365#Comment_118635365

so you and others insist ad nauseum.

Mad_maxx · 15-02-2022 5:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118635481#Comment_118635481

I insist that today is Tuesday too

15-02-2022 5:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118627206#Comment_118627206

Name change on Aisle 18 please, aisle 18, name change required.

😂

Liberty_Bear · 15-02-2022 10:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118635365#Comment_118635365

I slept with two women years ago am i straight? I have been sleeping with men for years. I identifiy as gay

Very much appreciate if you could answer that question, cheers

Mad_maxx · 15-02-2022 10:20pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118637388#Comment_118637388

You were gay but didn't know it or accept it back then I suppose

Liberty_Bear · 15-02-2022 10:24pm

But if a man sleeps with a man then he is gay then ergo isnt the opposite true?

15-02-2022 10:42pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118637388#Comment_118637388

If you were sexually attracted to the 2 women you slept with, and are still attracted to women as well as men, then you are Bi.

You are essentially answering your original question here as you admit you have experience with the opposite sex but do not consider yourself Bi.

Personally, I think you are just indulging a sexual fantasy by starting this thread. Knock yourself out. It's good to see boards is still good for something.

Liberty_Bear · 15-02-2022 10:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118637654#Comment_118637654

Dwelling on personal ads, Grinder and a heap of other apps are lots of men who can quite easily fulfill fantasies like this so it would be a relative waste of effort if I thought that I was going to just engage on here for sexual pleasure. I do tend to accommodate married men myself, Im single so I have no real qualms myself as it would be just someone else.

Parking taht - your point does not follow - I was drunk, horny and would have stuck it in a ham sandwich if I thought I could shoot a load.

Sexually I am not attracted to women but by definition I would be straight. This fulcrum of identities is something a lot of men swing around straight, gay , bi, curious whaever...

But as your said ..Knock yourself out. It's good to see boards is still good for something.! I think I will!

15-02-2022 11:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118637741#Comment_118637741

Parking taht - your point does not follow - I was drunk, horny and would have stuck it in a ham sandwich if I thought I could shoot a load.

I think there in lies your answer my friend. Men who would 'stick it in a ham sandwich' just to shoot their load have a small psychological problem.

'Oh, I'm so horny I'd get up on anything', that's not normal balanced behaviour, and I would suggest it leads down a dangerous path.

Most men just put on some porn, grab some lube and have a ****, you don't really need to stick it in a ham sandwich.

What about a pig, a watermelon? What's your limit?

You are saying you weren't attracted to those women but you fucked them because they have a warm hole. Don't you think that's disgusting and sleazy behaviour?

Liberty_Bear · 15-02-2022 11:08pm

At 19 years of age and two people consenting as adults? - I never got the memo what consenting adults did was sleazy

If you met someone who told you that they consented to sex with you and both are horny then what is sleazy about that?

Sleaze is under rated btw...lots of participating consenting parties enjoy it

Again why would should we go out looking at porn when there are saunas or apps?

That label of sleaze and disgusting is quite cute ...I'll take it and wear it as a badge of pride...Ive been fairly demure up to now , it gets tiring !

Liberty_Bear · 15-02-2022 11:42pm

I didnt draw a line at the time.

I had met one woman in a nightclub who took my virginity and another woman through friends who I slept with. I was raging with hormones and slept with them. Spent a lot of time figuring out what I liked.

All consensual....

Hit the report button under the post and fire away...

Married Men - A Gay Lads View - Have you ever had an experience?

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