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Struggling with a difficult co-worker

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    #62
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    If you're expecting them to reciprocate maybe you are doing it for the wrong reasons.

    Sorry but you are just coming across as a martyr here. Let your boss manage the delegations or at least oversee it if you feel it's unfair.

    They will be in a better position to see who is being unreasonable



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    #63
    Flinty997
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Flinty997


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769635#Comment_118769635

    Gallon into a pint glass.



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    #64
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769723#Comment_118769723

    Very nice but hardly applicable here as one person's view on an "impossible" workload can vary considerably from anothers.



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    #65
    Flinty997
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Flinty997


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769733#Comment_118769733

    There's almost too many red flags in this little saga to count. They shouldn't need explaining.

    The phrase ....

    "Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine.”

    ... seems quite apt here.



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    #66
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118769880#Comment_118769880

    Agree. A lot of red flags as you call them.

    All the more reason to have a Manager or someone in authority review the ask in detail and determine who is being unreasonable.



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    #67
    Flinty997
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Flinty997


    Management created the daft work schedule and process in the first place.



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    #68
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770166#Comment_118770166

    That's it. The management knows the schedule because they created it. They know exactly who is assigned on what project or task and when because they're the ones assigning projects!! They know the processes in and out because they created or approved them. They know how long it takes to perform each task. Therefore, it's not a case where the management has no visibility over what you do. They track everything to the minute, trust me. Everything we do is documented, audited, tracked in systems etc.

    I work in a highly regulated highly scrutinized environment. Management knows what we do.

    Also, in the past, I never helped people out because I expected something in return. I did it because I wanted to and had capacity, but this time around, I simply don't. It's not complicated to understand.



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    #69
    gameoverdude
    Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude


    Did you read the OPs posts? The other guy had plenty of support. I bet you the tasks are ages old or were ones they didn't want to do or approaching a deadline.

    Plus "No." is a complete sentence and perfectly acceptable.

    Let him be OP. But his emails into the junk folder.



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    #70
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770231#Comment_118770231

    Agree.

    Post edited by TheGlossy on


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    #71
    gameoverdude
    Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude


    I bet they like a bit of drama. Fierce important an all that (in their own eyes).

    The world won't stop turning if somebody takes leave or a situation, as in your case, that is far more important.

    However, in saying the above, I think you maybe taking it too personally, which is completely understandable in your situation. You made yourself understood. Park it and get on with your own life.

    Crap post by myself, but I hope you get the gist of it. (Loooong week)



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    #72
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770208#Comment_118770208

    Im a little confused. If its as highly regulated as you mention, why is this even an issue for you?

    Get your Manager to review the tasks needing ownership while your colleague is away and assign the same to other people as required.

    It sounds like you are taking it too personally and questioning how his work was distributed even after you said no could be misconstrued as you having a vendetta against the guy.

    It sounds like he has a lot of work to cover and went about it the right by getting it spread out over as many people as possible to minimize the impact on others

    My advice, just drop it as you'll end up looking like the bad person either way.



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    #73
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770607#Comment_118770607

    In your eyes, maybe, but the other posters seem to be a lot more constructive than you have been. It seems you just want to make me look like the bad person. Again, we're talking about 3 days coverage not 3 weeks. 3 days off do not require 5 people, period.



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    #74
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,384 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    But it’s not about a 3 day coverage. It’s about you taking on more work than you can manage.



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    #75
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770337#Comment_118770337

    I'm the only female in the team, so if I start being dramatic, they'll probably pin it down on "women are emotional". It's parked now, least of my concerns.



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    #76
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770703#Comment_118770703

    His 3 days are probably not that heavy from what I've seen on his tracker. I honestly would have understood 5 people if his workload was heavy, but even the busiest person in the team never asks for 5 people to cover them, ever.



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    #77
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770686#Comment_118770686

    Sorry if I'm not telling you what you want to hear OP.

    Like I said, leave your Manager to worry about delegation and let it go unless you want be seen as the bad person. That's pretty constructive IMO.



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    #78
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770759#Comment_118770759

    I politely advised I don't have any capacity at this time and offered to further discuss with the manager if needed. I was met with silence and that's it. The person has already gone on leave anyways. I'm on the forum to discuss the issue, doesn't mean I'm going to make a scene at work. Absolutely not.

    It's my first time ever doing some push back. It's really out of character for me, but it is what it is. I refuse to chew more than I can take at this particular moment Just this week, I did an extra 2/3 hours every day because of my own work. If the management is not managing, not my issue. I have external responsibilities and free overtime is a no-go.



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    #79
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770785#Comment_118770785

    It would be interesting to get the other persons side of the story TBH

    With all due respect your answers here have come across as a little emotional. This can affect the tone in emails or when saying no to someone for example. That could be why you were met with silence.

    As they say, it's not what you say but the way that you say it...



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    #80
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,384 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    The guy isn’t the problem. He is trying to delegate while on leave.

    I appreciate you feel snowed under and unappreciated, but this will continue as long as you take on the extra load while others don’t and get away with it.

    I’m not having a go at you, but it looks like you are just letting yourself be used.



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    #81
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770830#Comment_118770830


    Post edited by TheGlossy on


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    #82
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770858#Comment_118770858

    So no other comments passed at work regarding this by anyone after that exchange?

    For example how do you know the details of how his work was delegated in that case?

    Sorry, this just doesn't seem to add up



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    #83
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770944#Comment_118770944

    As I said before, he had a tracker and he included the names of the people who took over next to each task. Plus, he all put them in his OOO. This was mentioned in a prior post. You're trying really hard to make me look like I'm the bad guy. I wonder who has the vendetta here.



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    #84
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770981#Comment_118770981

    So in the regulated environment he had everything documented presumably being as regulated as you say it had Management approval and since your management have insight into the work that you do (as you said) presumably they would have the best insight into your actual capacity.

    I'm not trying to make you look.like the bad person at all, just a lot of what you are saying doesn't add up.



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    #85
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118770847#Comment_118770847

    I understand. You're right though on me getting used. The problem in most cases is that managers don't consult you before assigning extra workload. They never consulted me each time they assigned extra-projects. Each time it was a case of the stakeholder managing the extra-project saying: "Your manager has advised you'd be the best person for this extra-project, so I'm going to schedule a call to kick off". It's always a surprise out of the blue. The managers don't even tell me they've assigned me to an extra project. The only projects I know of head of time are the ones directly falling in the umbrella of my day to day, but all the extra internal projects, I always find out through people other than my managers, so I never have room to negotiate not taking them on.



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    #86
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118771032#Comment_118771032

    What are you trying to say exactly here? What's your point in the first paragraph?

    Yes, they have insight into my actual capacity (which is limited as I stated), but again, it wasn't the manager who approached me for coverage. It was the colleague.

    You stated yourself, the management has the best insight into my capacity and I said it before, they organize the schedules and assign the projects, so if I say I don't have capacity, they can easily check that and see it is true.

    My story doesn't add up because you're picking pieces apart and not connecting them together. It seems the other posters had a quick grasp and you're dissecting pieces.



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    #87
    Flinty997
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Flinty997


    All very well putting an extra effort in at times of need. But even it becomes normalized it's taking the proverbial.

    Same with people who virtue signal how "hard" the're working , while being oblivious to colleagues even greater workloads.

    At the same you need to grow a thick skin and not be triggered by these drama queens. Also learn to say no, and stick to to reasonable schedule that you won't burn out on, or destroy your mental health with stress. It creeps on you.

    Really it's up the OP to manage this situation. He's needs to be smarter about what he's doing.



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    #88
    Jequ0n
    Registered Users Posts: 6,384 ✭✭✭Jequ0n


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118771049#Comment_118771049

    Yeah I get that, and I also understand that at that moment you might feel obliged to take on the task as you don’t want to disappoint. But you are likely one of few people who do this, while others are weighing up their work and private life and are saying “no”, so you get all of the extra work.

    No problem if you want this or if you are using it as a stepping stone, but from you said here it’s not even being appreciated.

    To be honest: I would not be taking on an additional task unless it had been discussed between my manager and I. Personally I find it strange that tasks are handed to you by others.



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    #89
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118771113#Comment_118771113

    Ironic that I posted about saying "no" to covering for this guy and I got grilled for it by other posters on here and your advice is for me to say "no".

    I hear your point though, thanks.



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    #90
    n0minus1
    Registered Users Posts: 56 ✭✭n0minus1


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118771075#Comment_118771075

    Sorry but there are a lot of holes in the story and you've contradicted yourself a few times even in our short exchange.

    Like I said it would be interesting to hear the other side of this

    I sincerely wish you all the best though.



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    #91
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118771138#Comment_118771138

    I know my workplace and workload, so I don't have anything to prove to an anonymous poster on a forum to confirm the legitimacy of my points. You refuse to hear them and that's your prerogative. I'm honestly not asking for your judgment. You seem set on making me look like I'm full of contradictions by dissecting bits and pieces and isolating them to fit your narrative. It's crystal clear from my posts I work overtime and cannot absorb more work. End of the story, if you're not willing to hear that, I quite frankly do not care.



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