To confront or not?

Walk away...cut contact immediately...

Dont even give her an explanation

I would just end it she has no regard for you and you will be much better off without her .

It's already over, just end it and walk away. I am curious, though, how did you know whose car it was?

How did you discover it was an old online date?

Mate of mine did this to his girlfriend when he caught her sleeping around.

Take her out to a fancy restaurant, somewhere really expensive. Tell her you are celebrating a promotion and a bonus you got.

Order the most expensive starters and expansive wine. And keep saying you are celebrating and keep ordering expensive stuff.

When you have just ordered desert, pretend to take a phone call from work and you have to go outside to talk to them.

Once outside just go home. Ring her on the way and say you have just been called into work urgently (part of the promotion) and can she settle up the bill and you will get her later. Then just ghost her.

She will figure out why all by herself.

It takes you from zero to hero. You will feel really good about yourself and not sh!t as she is making you feel now.

Nothing heroic about lowering yourself to her level (or lower).

OP, either ask her straight out what's going on, if you think there's the slightest chance of a reasonable explanation, or just break it off.

No need for games.

Not near as funny or as effective as the one I told though to be fair.

Absolutely confront. Without a doubt.

Sounds like she was excited to see this guy again, had him over hoping it might go somewhere but he may have slept with her and moved on and so now she’s back trying to plan holidays etc with you. I wouldn’t trust her one bit ever again.

Just try and have an honest conversation with her about it but end things - if there’s a good explanation (doubtful) fair enough but you’ll have more dignity ending it now rather than her dropping you at the hint of somebody else she fancies more, and her tough luck if she ends up with nobody to go on holiday with.

This is obviously the best way to handle it. It's straight forward, honest and without drama. Might not rack up as many thanks as a dramatic scheme to get revenge, but it's the best way to face the situation, dump her, and move on

This 👆️

I understand why you feel the need for a gotcha moment but you're not in a scripted Netflix drama. This is real life and it's unlikely that your big moment will pan out the way you'd like it to. Also, cheaters rarely confess to everything they've done so you won't get any good answers. She'll minimise things, lie to your face or turn on you for snooping.

It's up to yourself how you end this but don't try to be clever. If you want to go further than a simple "this isn't working out" conversation, what Spacehopper outlined above is the way to go.

Yeah, the posts above suggesting to just walk away and say nothing are very civilised suggestions. However, you've been sharing this girl without knowing until now. She could be sticking a few logos on her bed post for all you know. No need to confront her, but letting her off with zero consequence sends the wrong signals. She needs to have that moment of knowing she's been a selfish, cheating rat and that has a cost. 2 steak dinners and a salad.

Side note if you've been unsafe in the bedroom, get checked out. She could be riddled.

Jesus, I'm amazed and surprised with many of the suggestions here!

Maybe she's confused, not sure if she wants to be fully with the ex or not. It's obviously exciting at the beginning, but after time she might remember why they split. You never know what's going on in somebody's life or mind.

Not 100% sure when she last spoke/answered your call, if it's weeks, then good luck. But if not, see her face-to-face, say what you know and that it looks like ye're finished. Presuming it's the end, I'm guessing you'll feel better X months down the line, rather than wondering 'what if'.

I dont understand why you walked away initially once you saw the car there - that was the moment to confront her. Equally the second time - again! - confront her for gods sake.

As tempted as you might be to revisit this topic, or try to convince yourself there may be some crack of hope - just don't do it. Making the decision to walk away from the mess is the best thing you can do, you have done that so stick to it.

Happens to everyone at some point, or at least most people anyway! It may not seem like it now but you've actually had a lucky escape in this and not wasted more of your time. Be good to yourself and best of luck

Sorry to hear about your situation, that's really awful.

If she's saying it's 'been over months' I'd just call it a day and break up. Don't let her string you along wondering if there's someone else/something is wrong with you etc. Life is too short and all that.

Speaking from experience it happened to me in a relationship. The signs were all there and after lying my other half at the time admitted to it. There are a few options,if you do end it just be prepared to get answers you might not want and if you do, then trust me the sense of relief is huge! Its also an angry time. The indicators you mentioned would worry me. My other half was going away for weekends by himself (I assumed to visit friends), he became emotionally distant. Might be time to have a chat , if you do have evidence of your partner lying, better to present the evidence and ask just ever so gently for an explanation. You can sense it though, cant you ..I did too