Liveline: Thread with no name, Host with no shame

Joe doesn't really want any callers today. He's determined to get his opinions on Pew-Tin, the russian Orthodox church, geoppolitics, etc out there and has no time for the opinions of any jumped -up callers

can only the wimmin go to a womans heart?

paging catmanic / Riley Helpless Grapevine

Add Norbet to pets of the pandemic list - the heavy metal cat

Dublin Jimmy's brudder is not to be tangled with

Monaghan, eh ?

Enola obviously upset that rte aren't ringing her anymore about Covid so she feels the need to come on and tell this story.

Pets of the pandemic:

Murphy

Brando

Buttsy

Topsy (A rabbit)

Kee Kee & Dee (Aged 17 and 5)

Dutchy (Kitten)- FAKE NEWS! Divoc

Bailey

BooBoo3 (Cat, 3 legs, survivor)

Patches Poggins (Found on Patrick's day)

Milly the Labrador (Tried to drown her owner)

Snuggie - dognapped

Louie - Attempted kidnapping and drugged

Charlie - HARLEY?!?!

Johnny O - A boat

Boicie - missing (escaped) parrot

Ruby - sits in the foire engine

Jojo and Fergus - both girls?

Dicky Duck / Dookie Duck? - Getting a house call from Dignitas tomorrow, currently watching his own grave being dug in a field with 5 predeceaded dogs and 4 cats, thrown from a moving car as a pup with 2 broken legs as a result.

Lunatic Soup aka Kelp

Dukey Dog?

Benji (loves to dance to "Blurred Lines", 12) Bella (the little bitch, 5) - Can hear things MILES away.

Benji Senior (Josh)

Taz - The CPR chiwawa

Holly - cat

Oisin- an madra marabh

An escaped goat - what the gym provides for people

An unnamed rat the size of a small car

Princess - dog (what's his name)

Prince - of peace. A small little lovely dog we hope has many years ahead. But is 15 years old and not heading for Lour-des.

Annabel- 35 year old donkey

Daisy - a little yaris with a little face that you wrap your arms around (Joe's words)

Unnamed Kitten - on the loose in Eyre square chased down by a trained solider

Unnamed Big German Shepard - AWOL

Rocky/Spud - Confident sun glasses wearing golf player

German shepherds, unnamed, x 2, both deceased - smoke inhalation

Cats, unnamed, x 2, both deceased - smoke inhalation

Fluffly - spoiled 16 year old cat, great company as is her owner

Glen Taisie- barked in a feminine fashion at the owners daughter

De dogs of St Anne's Park struck down with the Vomiting bug

Sam -16 year old jack Russell had his 2 cruciates done did 6 months hard time in a cage

Lexie - company for Sam after another dog was put asleep and Sam wouldn't eat

Dog died of cancer and 3 legged talking cat

Puss Puss - Kitten found on a stone in a stream in Galway trained to scratch the carpets. Quietly dispatched after a brief discussion. Didn't wander off into the woods to die as Joe opined is 'how cats die'.

Dílis - a great dog by all accounts. Caller: 'Dílis'. Joe: 'Treelish'. Caller: 'No - Dílis, Dílis!' Joe: 'Ah yes Treelish'.

False Widow Spider - or else a hot water bottle, essentially the same thing

Timberlake the Cockatoo - Timby to his friends. Not named after Justin Timberlake but after a place in Canada that Twink knows.

Holly & Bobby - age 9 & 4. Two Yorkshire terriors barking and runnin around de place wid egg site ment. Nearly smashed a window with their mighty paws.

Bella & Alfie - less favoured than Holly & Bobby

Brandy - gun dog got a few rubs post mortum

6 cardigan corgi pups - 3 dogs 3 bitches - quick little poo and then in for night is their routine

Stella - mother who dodges her pups from 6 weeks

Morgan- father drinking in the marble bar in kilkenny

Lynx- mystery dog

Pet name of the pandemic - sweetheart - a cattle lorry driver who 50 years ago tried to escape a woman and shes still haunting him

Bella and Poppy - June Rodgers dogs rescued from the dump whose lives actually got wurser after being rescused

Susan - It's a little car, a little Susan, but it doesn't answer to that name.

Petronella - previous car (highest pitch giggle ever broadcast)

A spooky horse

A tallish kind of running dog

June - Born in March and fell off a cliff

Tom the cagey cat- The biggest Cat in the world - 'cot' in a wheelie bin, tried to hi-jack a van and then absconded 

Mia, Coco (deceased), Cotton socks, Peaches and Calli - Each with their own bedroom and may or may not be related to each other

Psyco Cat aka Peep - more like a snake than a cat. 3 days up the chimney, previously rehomed and it didn't work out

Snugglepuss/Snufflepuss - went for the callers partner at one point

Honey- Bray recycling center cat rehabilitated after 3 months & shows off her underside

Quinto - 'printo?' & 'QUINTO AS IN FOIVE?!' Guide dog.

Rory - The retiree guide dog. TYFYS.

Iris & Issac - penthouse cats who won't pay any rent

A menagerie of turty animals:

Daisy - Missing Finglas ferret Wanted Dead or Alive, a carnivore who escaped but hasn't killed...YET

Lilly- Sister Ferret

Crazy Colly - 5 months old

Free roaming bunnies X 2

Terrapins - Free slow roaming

African Pygmy Hedgehog

10 Rats - "Are dey white ones?!"

Sky - Skoy the bedroom rat possible COVID death

Several Mice

Sonny - Green Cheek Parrot

Joy - Monk Parakeet/Quaker parrot

Guinea pigs

Temperamental Bunnies x 2 -Fluff flying

Eve - Cat, prone to popping in the bathroom window

Dessie "The Border Fox" O'Hare

Dominic "Mad Dog" McGlinchey

Anonomous - Black Collie 9 months pursued by a sleigh (chair)

Sandy - 21 year old piano playing singing waving gunshot victim

Persia - cat and recognised blood doner. Gone to cat heaven age 16, sister made it to 20.

92 blood donating hounds.

Casey - a little princess Collie a spritely 12 but replaced with a little slob.

Molly - rescue dog - ate some rat poison recieved blood transfusion from

Cello - mad as a brush hyper. Both dead now.

Lucy -Cocker spaniel full of beans (sunday) listeless (monday) dead now. Recieved blood transform from

Maggie - golden retriever.

Little Pug 10kg (overweight) cover his ears so you don't upset him.

Honky - the talking pig.

Judy & Jodie - house ponies held hostage by Waterford Co council

Vladimir Putin - Rabid dog to be put down by an OAP hit squad.

Little Buddy - little shih tzu deceased, ashes to ashes, or so it would seem...

Buster - unknown ashes. A bigger hound.

Star - Companion of buster, sits on the chair the same way he did.

Sammy - 13 year old chocolate Labrador. Cancer. Left under the TV now.

Ollie - lovely lad

Allie - ??/??/???? - 01/07/2011

Dusty - diabetic died 2 years ago aged 18. Insulin x2 per day into the back of the neck. 5:45am and 5:45pm blood tests.

Cat - 20 years outdoor cat unnamed to protect her privacy. Ulcer on her eye age 6 months. Name revealed as "Bad Eye".

Podge - born with one nostril and one eye. Died age 10 of cancer.

Unnamed Dog - died age 17 years.

Charlie - cat

Molly - cat

Wally - cat

Mindy - cat

Mork - cat

Pepper - Corgi mix died 3 days ago.

Holly - Bichon Frise 16 years.

Dearg - Horse who was cremated and loved Bach.

Molly - attacked by a half wolf half husky half atakia that were 4 to 5 feet long

Norburt- 2 years old cat. Victim of a punishment shooting in the boarder region. On valium and morphine.

Norbert Solano ? played for Newcastle

Give every house a liferaft and if we get word of the wave we will have toyme to escape.

Covid is over as a dangerous voyrus.

Tommy has grown a tail

only for lipitor half of ireland would be long gone

Down came his Cholesterol, up came a 3rd nipple.

Now we're back on usual liveline material. "I wants me drugs and I wants me drugs for free"