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What's the etiquette here??

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    #8132
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118955961#Comment_118955961

    Might also spot Nevin rooting around the Final Reductions rail for a pair of Easy Stretch 46”-28” slacks in a lime green colour.



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    #8133
    Slideways
    Registered Users Posts: 2,016 ✭✭✭Slideways


    “Shop soiled” is his go to rail



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    #8134
    easygoing39
    Registered Users Posts: 1,370 ✭✭✭easygoing39


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118956291#Comment_118956291

    And after a feed of Beamish in Cleary's and a kabab on the way home they become "owner soiled"!!



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    #8135
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118956291#Comment_118956291

    Unless it’s beer - then he can be found with his beak in the “Near Dated” bin.



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    #8136
    sam t smith
    Registered Users Posts: 1,453 ✭✭✭sam t smith


    He goes around the shop soiling the clothes on display then comes back a few days later to buy them on the cheap from the shop soiled rail. Nice money saving tip.



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    #8137
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118958150#Comment_118958150

    Eh ?

    Was in the City of the Tribes recently on important company business and following a very successful high level meeting took myself down to Anthony Ryan's ...as is my custom.

    Purchased a nice pair of Meyer slacks in light blue...which will turn a few heads in the Ladies section of the Golf Club for sure....matched that with a stylish Bugatti puffa jacket in Navy...which was widely admired at the recent Rugby Game in the Aviva ( A very successful business man approached me in the hospitality suite to enquire as to place of purchase).

    Outfit topped off with a light blue "Eton" shirt and a very comfy pair of Maroon "Loake" shoes.

    Quite the man about town I'm sure you will agree ?

    This is by way of telling you that the vile sh1te spread about me in the previous posts is in no way true....and in my opinion the product of some very troubled minds whose idea of snappy dress is a pair of baggy pi$$ stained chinos and an "off grey" string vest.

    The types that would actually buy gear in Pennies and spool out a rope of sour smelling greasy sh!te as a way of leaving their mark.!!



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    #8138
    sam t smith
    Registered Users Posts: 1,453 ✭✭✭sam t smith


    ^ Filthy kernts.

    If they were posting like that about me I would be considering defamation proceedings against the ringleaders.

    Take plenty of screenshots.



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    #8139
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118958407#Comment_118958407

    For sure Sam...."The Nev" is not a vindictive person....but some of the allegations have seriously tested his patience.

    Lawering up is not The Nevs style ....would prefer the more direct approach....find out where the kernts drink and slip a hanky full of sh1te

    into their jacket pocket.

    Spot the "mark"....jacket on back of chair or stool....drop a shiny coil into a hanky....slip into jacket pocket...little squeeze for good measure ...

    Job done......



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    #8140
    sam t smith
    Registered Users Posts: 1,453 ✭✭✭sam t smith


    Good call. Payback is a *****. That’ll learn them.



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    #8141
    StevenToast
    Registered Users Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭StevenToast


    Certain posters have earned their 'corn' on this thread over the years...

    Mr Parsnipp is definitely one of those....

    "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." - Fletcher



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    #8142
    JuanBerrosa
    Registered Users Posts: 65 ✭✭JuanBerrosa


    Howdy gents ...

    Ever just feel so proud of the coiled snake you just birthed resting there under the water ? If this wasn't such a respectable thread I would be tempted to take a high q photo and upload it here.

    Lately I have been having really solid ones like described above, feel great and 2kg lighter after too - it's fantastic.

    Today I was at a cafe having a ham and cheese sambo with a nice cappuchino when I felt the starfish beginning to twitch.

    Made a beeline for the jacks and coiled out long python that just slipped out with zero splash.

    During cleanup I realised the fent was a lot worse than usual, looking down I noticed the phuerker had managed to stay on the porcelian, must have had a very high "coefficient of restitution" as my applied maths teacher years back would have said.

    Normally I don't mind the smell of my own , but jesus this would have stripped paint of a small aeroplane, my eyes were beginning to water so I needed to do an early flush.


    Never underestimate the value of the sludge being submerged, that water makes a huge difference to the rotten stench.



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    #8143
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Reminds me of a time I was working with the auld fella on a bungalow build. The toilet was installed, but the water hadn't been connected yet, so I didn't get the "plumber's privilege". Must have been the flask tea, but ended up finding myself urgently needing to "drop a weight division". Headed out to the utility room, and backed one out into the box of a recently installed Triton T90 electric shower. Plumbing really is one of the great achievements of mankind, as it hides both the smell and the length of a bowel movement. Both were appalling.

    Had to bring the shít coffin down the fields to dispose of it. It was one of those times when you'd rather have your auld fella get suspicious you were smoking over knowing the reality of what had just happened.

    Really confirmed to me that taking a trade wasn't going to be my calling in life.



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    #8144
    Grouptherapy
    Registered Users Posts: 119 ✭✭Grouptherapy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118958608#Comment_118958608

    An acquaintance once wiped his h0le in a pair of patterned living room curtains as payback. The pattern hid the skid mark perfectly and it was some time before the occupants of the house figured out where the bang was coming from.



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    #8145
    sam t smith
    Registered Users Posts: 1,453 ✭✭✭sam t smith


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118939306#Comment_118939306

    Worth your weight in shite. 👍🏻



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    #8146
    cj maxx
    Registered Users Posts: 14,011 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    There's something up with me. I'm doing pure slurry stuff. It's cost me 2 pairs of boxers and pair of trousers already this morning , that I had to bin after I sharted . I've been eating normal dinners all week and had planned a vindaloo for tonight. I guess that's out 😡



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    #8147
    You the man
    Registered Users Posts: 112 ✭✭You the man


    Similarly, I'm just after a business trip the the Benidorm Region of Spain.

    The food and beverages clearly didn't agree with me..

    A trail of destruction after me..



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    #8148
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,467 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119014840#Comment_119014840

    Nothing worse than a Vinny in that condition.

    Got caught myself, admittedly with the badge clagged up like a spiders nest, and blew a staggery loose load of rank runnel which couldn’t exit thru the nest.


    stuff shot out sideways upwards and downwards like a fcuking slurry spreader.

    Reduced the kex and trews to a mash of thick vegetable soup.


    Black bin job.



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    #8149
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Probably “popped” them in the neighbour’s bin while he was out the back cutting the lawn.

    Disgusting bastard.



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    #8150
    AttractiveAndSingle
    Registered Users Posts: 16 ✭AttractiveAndSingle


    Unburdened myself in a gender neutral at the gallery earlier. Had a look in the pot after I’d rolled up the slacks and there were some prize pieces of interesting muck. Turkey legs, roast chicken torsos, wings, pork loins, each piece of excrement resembled a cut of my favourite meat.



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    #8151
    Amenhotep
    Registered Users Posts: 206 ✭✭Amenhotep


    :D this is Gold ..



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    #8152
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,467 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119015665#Comment_119015665

    No Tomahawk Steaks?!

    Left a nice thick lad plastered to the pewter in Connolly Station two days ago.

    So good I let the lad ‘sit in position’.



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    #8153
    ILikeBoats
    Registered Users Posts: 2,519 ✭✭✭ILikeBoats


    I'm impressed at your bravery in using the facilities in Connolly Station



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    #8154
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119022351#Comment_119022351

    Wasn’t just there to offload the breakfast would be my guess.



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    #8155
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,467 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119022351#Comment_119022351

    Needs must, a longish suburban train trip imminent with no ‘facilities’ so it was either that or the ‘craneman’s manouvre’.

    Train wasn’t full so could have left a sloppy lad get airborne at Hazel Hatch.



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    #8156
    Slideways
    Registered Users Posts: 2,016 ✭✭✭Slideways


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119022872#Comment_119022872

    Isn’t it great how the pensioners get the free travel pass still..



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    #8157
    Brendan Bendar
    Registered Users Posts: 19,467 ✭✭✭✭Brendan Bendar


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119023550#Comment_119023550

    Yep, however there wasnt the usual smell of stale piss about the place on my vehicle.

    The seats were even dry.

    The pensioner is well entitled to travel free, good seats, well foamed, so they can fire away and disregard the consequences.



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    #8158
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,725 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Speaking of pensioners, I was in Lidl at lunchtime picking up a 12 pack of dangerously strong lager when this old bint (1940’s vintage) wanders in to the alcohol section, goes over to the white wine section, and lets a fücking long watery fart go. Didn’t even blink an eye.

    The ‘bouquet’ was of smoked fish, cabbage and boiled eggs. Disgusting.



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    #8159
    StevenToast
    Registered Users Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭StevenToast


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119024660#Comment_119024660

    Reminds me of that time when I followed through in an Oddbins.....

    "Don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining." - Fletcher



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    #8160
    Larbre34
    Registered Users Posts: 24,048 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34


    I really must stop reading this thread in the cot, the suppressed laughter never fails to wake the current Mrs B.

    She was particularly upset on this occasion, what with some charity walk being on in the middle of the night that she has to get up for. Absolute lunacy.

    Don't dare wake me on your way out, I warned her, despite me just having ruined the three hours sleep she will have to exist on for the next day and a half.



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    #8161
    Slideways
    Registered Users Posts: 2,016 ✭✭✭Slideways


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119026340#Comment_119026340

    Will she drop off a king kongs thumb in a ditch along the way?



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