I am an alcoholic

AloneEit · 09-05-2022 12:17pm #1

I've been sober for over a week due to a health scare and have no plans to relapse, but I'm having a rough couple of days and not experiencing the benefits yet. I still have all the stress and anxiety while I'm working here and have no outlet, no friend to talk to.

I know this is a common situation for recovering alcoholics to find themselves alone with it all so I'm wondering if anyone has any tips to help. I've tried counselling in the last year and while it helped to an extent, I found 1 session per fortnight to do more harm than good.

My drinking was at an all time out of control, so maybe I just need to be patient to reap the benefits. It's just tough because I don't think I should be working right now while I'm trying to process all the stress. Also I gave up cigarettes and came off strong anti depressants after taking them for just 3 days under doctor's orders, so maybe I'm just experiencing a triple whammy withdrawal.

dontmindme · 09-05-2022 12:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058245071/i-am-an-alcoholic

Well done. My advice would be to get yourself to an AA meeting. You will find there people who have all been where you are now.

Princess Calla · 09-05-2022 12:31pm

Why don't you ask your Dr for a sick note for a few days/,week.

Try to get yourself out of the house even for a ramble around the estate.

There's a non drinkers forum here too and a recovering alcoholic did an "ask me anything" thread on her journey to recovery.

Recognising you have a problem is the first massive step you need to take on this road, and you've done that so fair play to you.

I wish you the best of luck.

amdublin · 09-05-2022 5:47pm

Well done!

Definitely check out the non drinkers forum here. Loads of people over there ready to support, understand what you are going through.

Talk to your doctor also

Good luck!

gladvimpaker · 09-05-2022 6:00pm

The best thing is you've admitted you've a problem. Go gentle on yourself and time off with stress could be a good idea.

Your GP would understand, you could tell them you went mad on the sauce and need time out for recovery.

If you've health insurance it might get you into a good treatment center.

It's worth it, because they'll help you settle into a sober lifestyle and you'll get the best help possible.

AA doesn't work for everyone, there's also lifering which is about building confidence and getting on with a sober lifestyle.

AA is very old school and it's questionably full of contradictions and bases your sobriety on being a failure, powerless for the rest of your life and you'll be forever thinking you have to do as they say.... but it works for some people who need guidance. I'm not knocking it, but there's different recovery groups.

Dial Hard · 10-05-2022 12:23pm

Was your GP aware of your alcohol intake too? Because it can be quite dangerous to stop drinking cold turkey if you were an extremely heavy drinker, you may need to do a chemical detox. The anxiety, etc is also likely a side effect of the withdrawal. Something like Librium will manage both that and the physical effects of alcohol withdrawal. Ring your GP, speak to them and be honest about how much you were drinking and for how long.

SuperBowserWorld · 10-05-2022 12:29pm

Switch to a less damaging addiction maybe. I play a video game to take the edge off. I just stick to one game at a time and only a few hours per week. There are some very relaxing ones. And choose an offline, single player, non competitive one. This last point is important.

SEPT 23 1989 · 10-05-2022 12:59pm

I would tackle one thing at a time the withdrawal from the smokes and the pills cant be a barrel of laughs

focus on getting past the drink then get rid of the smokes

Supercell · 10-05-2022 1:14pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119041007#Comment_119041007

One is likely a trigger for the other, when i quit the smokes after reading Allen Carr's famous "Easyway.." book, I had to quit drink, cigs and coffee and crisps as they all were associated with smoking in my brain. Hardest damn thing i ever did but over ten years later I'm firmly an ex-smoker. Took me six weeks IIRC before I was confident that I had broken the cycle.

Can only wish you the best of luck OP, if you can beat the fags, you'll likely help kill the cravings for the drink too hopefully.

AloneEit · 10-05-2022 7:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119040826#Comment_119040826

Yeah I accept I haven't been completely honest about it but I think he knows, I'm a wreck who can barely talk every time I see him.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119041007#Comment_119041007

True enough but last 2 days have been better, so I think I'm coming out of the worst of it for now. Mind you I'm still having these mad vivid dreams from the antidepressants. Pretty crazy given I was only taking them for 3 days, last one Friday. Dunno how people can stick it, they were simply awful for me. All the power to the world to the people who have no choice but to take them.

Thanks for the support all.

RojaStar · 11-05-2022 3:03pm

Well done on getting to where you are now, and also for recognising that something has got to give. That is HUGE.

In addition to the resources mentioned above, there are lots of online communities where you could be interacting with likeminded people all day every day on Facebook or specific apps that they have. Have you heard of One Year No Beer? They do challenges where you sign up say for a 30 day alcohol free challenge and then have support in the form of daily videos, regular live sessions and the Facebook community. I don't work for them or anything! It's just one example of a really active community. Another one is The Naked Mind community. They do a thing called the Alcohol Experiment which is similar, and free.

There are lots of podcasts and "quit lit" books that you could be listening to to help stay focused and inspired to keep off it in between sessions with the therapist.

14-05-2022 6:57am

Try and stay with family or friends now even for a week or two. Can be difficult to call if you need urgent help if in the throws of withdrawal. Also severe DTs can result in loss of touch with reality and worse. Its the weekend. Go to out of hours gp today. There will be physical signs if you are in danger of severe DTs and a script for some detox meds can literaly be a lifesaver.

Also don,t be the guy who has multiple relapses. Do it properly now and hopefully do it just once, and best of luck.

Sorry op. Didnt see your subsequent message that you are over the worst. Great news. Will leave the post up for others in the same situation

riddles · 14-05-2022 9:11pm

Well done keep it going you have taken the hardest steps.

AloneEit · 17-06-2022 11:03pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119059618#Comment_119059618

Sorry to say I have relapsed. Not drinking as much as I was but can't escape the overwhelming sadness.

It's the panic that gets me and I know I need to go back to counselling. I think I'm a good person but it angers me to feel the need for counselling while those who bullied me are sailing through life.

HildaOgdenx · 18-06-2022 11:45am

Are you still attending your GP? If not, please do. Take time out from work and give yourself a chance to get back on your feet.

Try to put the bullies out of the equation. Easier said than done, I know. There's an expression about the best revenge being a life well lived. They may get their just desserts one day, they may not. I worked with a mega bully. He left a trail of destruction in his wake, and he is still out there somewhere - his career has gone from strength to strength. That's life, unfortunately.

But what is important now is that your health is suffering. Please make that your priority, talk to your GP and start again with counselling. Mind yourself.

Everlong1 · 18-06-2022 12:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119037892#Comment_119037892

Totally disagree with your comments about AA. I'm sober 10 years and loving it and did it through AA. I have no idea what you're talking about by "bases your sobriety on being a failure" or being powerless the rest of your life. I had no such experience. It may not be for everyone but I found AA to be very much what you make it. No one in AA forces you to do anything, it's entirely your decision to accept or reject what you're asked to do. Yes it is based on a spiritual programme which I assume is what you mean by "old school" but again, no one is expected to become a Bible basher or anything like that. There are different AA meetings for different people including atheists. I had a lot of preconceptions about AA when I started going to meetings but found that most of them simply weren't true. I'd agree it might not be for everyone but I'd urge people to be open minded and give it a serious go. You've nothing to lose but your addiction.

AloneEit · 19-06-2022 12:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119219382#Comment_119219382

I appreciate the replies.

No haven't been to the GP since my last visit, but have been making efforts to get healthier on my own and I'm seeing results. Losing weight and heart rate is down.

I was doing fine until last Wednesday and a number of things just set me off between work and seeing something on social media. I woke up yesterday feeling not well at all so thankfully took the warning signs and stopped drinking. Thankfully because I haven't been drinking I felt back to normal today whereas the hangovers were lasting so much longer before.

I'm in a difficult spot right now and just don't know what to prioritise. I'm working my notice right now and before starting a new job at the end of July. If I'm being honest with myself I think I've gone the wrong route of starting a new job which is adding to the panic and stress, even though I knew I had no more to give in my current job..

tinpib · 19-06-2022 12:47pm

Try and not beat yourself up over your relapse. I gave up drinking "permanently" 3 times and each one was 2 steps forward 1 step back and also each one lasted around 4.5 months. I'm not counting all the other "never drinking again"s that lasted up to a month, a couple of weeks, days or even just hours.

However then everything clicked on my 4th attempt and I'm sober over 6 years now. The stint of sobriety you had will serve you well, it will make it slightly easier the next time as you know you can do it for x length of time. Try and identify what led to the relapse and solve it. And just don't give up giving up!

I found the stopdrinking subreddit to be excellent as therre are hundreds of thousands of people on there, so lots more comments/stories/advice.

Liberty_Bear · 19-06-2022 12:52pm

Good luck OP, Its not easy and I admire your resolve. Each day is a step towards more sobriety. Stanhope centre are pretty good in Dublin, might offer support. Best wishes

NiceFella · 19-06-2022 1:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119223077#Comment_119223077

You will absolutely make mistakes on the way to recovery. Do not beat yourself up too much. It's a bump in the road. Mind yourself.

JupiterKid · 20-06-2022 2:47pm

Hello there OP. Recovering alcoholic myself, almost 3.5 years fully sober now.

As tinpib mentioned in an earlier post, very few people with alcohol dependency manage to recover fully on the first attempt - be that rehab, AA meetings, other supports etc. Most will struggle with periods of sobriety after an "intervention" such as rehab but will relapse a few times before finally turning the corner. That was most certainly the case for me.

I was in 5 different rehabs and a couple of day programmes plus AA and Lifering meetings between 2014 and 2017 and I still relapsed - but I can say that eventually the relapses got shorter in period and the sobriety in between these increased, so I was moving in the right direction in 2018 before finally "getting it" in early 2019. It was far from easy but I look back at the alcoholic misery and despair of 2010 to 2018 and I give gratitude each and every day at how I am alive and have rebuilt my life since getting sober.

There is a forum here on Boards called the Non-Drinkers Group which has excellent threads on recovery resources and supports and the personal stories of those who successfully battled alcoholism, mine included.

The fact that you realise that you have a serious alcohol crisis that cannot continue is a huge step, OP. Many battling the bottle sadly do not accept that they have a problem and drink themselves into an early grave - my partner's brother-in-law sadly passed away last Summer at the age of 63 due to liver cirrhosis. He was what might be described as a "high functioning alcoholic" but he didn't want to accept that there was a problem and now he's gone and left behind a widow and three adult children, with the first grandchild on the way that he will never see.

Now that you have accepted you have a serious problem, the time to act is now - I would start by going to a few AA or LifeRing meetings - they are now back in physical space after two years of Covid and also on Zoom. Buying the AA Big Book and reading it would really help as well as Annie Grace's excellent "The Naked Mind" and "The Outrun" by Amy Liptrot, herself a recovering alcoholic.

Best of luck on your recovery journey OP - remember if you fall, pick yourself up and start again, but keep trying! Keep us posted.

Beatty69 · 22-06-2022 7:15pm

Do not try to give up the smokes at the same time as alcohol! It will not work.

global23214124 · 22-06-2022 9:12pm

Smart recovery have online meetings as well. They may have in person meetings as well now due to covid being over or a mixture of both.

bad2thebone · 22-06-2022 9:24pm

You've made the right decision and I suggest you be honest with yourself. And take time out, it's all well and good getting on some program of recovery etc AA isn't regulated or a professional body. It's ok for staying off the drink, but it's full of contradictions and sometimes it does more harm than good. It has a very low recovery rate and there's a lot of control freaks there.

Just keep an open mind, a good treatment center that's more modern than the 12 step types could be better than launching yourself into the holy book of AA and listening to drunk logs and some dude saying he'll be your sponsor and rule your life. Telling you what their version of sobriety is, and if you don't phone them every day you're not willing to work the program kind of attitude.

22-06-2022 9:27pm

I haven't had a drink in years after drinking way too much for too long and honestly never felt a whole lot of benefit mood-wise. I'm sure plenty of people will say otherwise and everyone wants to be positive but you probably need to manage expectations. All that **** you drinking to avoid is still there.

Bobtheman · 27-06-2022 12:20pm

There is a brilliant book alcohol explained by William porter.

He takes a very scientific view. That practically everything we think booze does is a myth bar the fact that each drink gives us about 20 minutes of relaxation but then leaves us with more stress and anxiety than we had before we drank.

Most of the relief we feel with booze is simply the ending of the withdrawal.

Basically nobody should drink its a con.

Remember once we all thought it was ok to smoke cigarettes and to deny women the vote.

Dublinia16 · 08-07-2022 10:57pm

Body here

I am an alcoholic

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