Wife and her male colleague

JoChervil · 12-07-2022 10:55am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119324777#Comment_119324777

So she never initiates anything sexual during the day, and if I did, she would laugh and say don't be so filthy.

For me this is a red flag for your relationship. Why does she think about sex in that way? Maybe she needs therapy to have healthier view on it?

bitofabind · 12-07-2022 10:55am

Listen, the bottom line here is that you don't trust your wife, you're sneaking around trying to catch evidence for what you believe she's up to, you won't talk to her about it, and these issues go back years. They're not new. And they're sitting on top of a relationship that doesn't seem so healthy in the first place, with infrequent sex and a woman that seems to have a rake of confidence issues.

What will speculating, sneaking around and wrecking your own head about these things do for you? It's just going to breed more resentment and distrust between the two of you. You'll be back posting here in another 5 years about "this work guy" unless you do something different this time.

So what can you do differently? Have a conversation. Spell out exactly what your suspicions are, exactly what your discomfort is, exactly what doesn't add up to you and what it all means to you i.e this goes back 5 years, my trust hasn't grown in all that time, and we need to take a long, hard look at this relationship. What happens then? She might deny everything and call you crazy. Grand. Not helping the situation, at that stage the options are end the relationship, trial separation, whatever. Maybe marriage counselling is something she'd consider, if salvaging the marriage is a priority. Maybe point blank denial and refusal to create any boundaries between herself and this fella at work, at which case you have your answer anyway. Better to know now than 10 years down the road into this misery.

12-07-2022 11:20am

Whether she did anything or not, this sounds like a miserable situation for you, OP.

I dunno, maybe you need to just talk about how you feel without being accusatory. But I understand that maybe you're avoiding that because opening this discussion might be the beginning of the end.

But you really need to question whether this is worth holding on to if it makes you feel so bad.

Mellor · 12-07-2022 11:46am

One of my wife's male colleagues caused issues in our relationship a few years ago as she would not stop talking about him and how great he was.

How is your wife talking about this guy equate to him causing problems? If the above is an issue in your relationship, it's an issue cause by your wife's behaviour and your jealously. The degrees of each, who know. certainly nobody reading this thread.

She could well be cheating on you. Or, maybe you over-reacted to the her mentioned a work colleague so she doesn't mentioned him at the parties to avoid a reaction. Neither situation is uncommon. You should be able to acknowledge that.

With the stories as you put them, clearly something is up. But on the other hand, your version of events is not neutral, obviously. Staying in a hotel overnight instead of getting 25min taxi. Sorry mate, but that's pretty unbelievable. So bad that, If she was cheating, she'd cover her tracks a bit better. Only you know how accurate your version of events is, only pointing this out as a lot of people will often subconsciously leave out details that make them look bad, and if thats the case, posters telling you she is definitely cheating does not help you

Fell upon my sword · 12-07-2022 11:51am

OP, although it may not feel like so, relatively speaking, you are still in a better position than a lot of men are. You still have sex with your wife, and she still agrees to speak about it with you.

There is still something that can be done about it right now. Wait 5 more years, do nothing, then it will be game over.

So I think maybe you should pick your battle carefully here.

You can either : try to confront her with zero proof, be gaslighted and back down. This will achieve nothing but put distance between you two. It definitely won't help your sex life.

Or, focus on fixing the sex life issue while she still seem receptive. Make it very clear how important it is, not only for you but for your couple, ask her to seek solutions together with you. Whatever it is. Explore all possibilities with her.

Your wife does not want to leave you for this guy, she would already have left if that was the case. You love your wife and want to keep your marriage. So in 5 or 10 years time, you'll still be together.

Even if at the price of a huge argument, or unfair restrictions of her freedom, you could somehow be sure nothing is happening with the colleague, well, you'll still be miserable, as a sexless mariage is obviously not for you.

So my advice would be:

- Focus on fixing your sex life. Her level of engagement on this will be very telling as well. Also, if you managed to fix your sex life, it may very well create issues between her and the colleague, if they have this kind of relationship.

- Quietly keep an eye open for anything suspicious. Don't go overboard, don't spy, but definitely pay more attention than you used to.

- Be more surprising and irregular in your life, if possible. Pick her up at the gym unexpectedly, change your plans at the last minute. Not to catch her red handed or anything like that, but this makes it very difficult to safely plan anything secretely. It also creates a bit of excitement in life.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 11:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119325918#Comment_119325918

Talking about him wasn't the issue. It was what happened side by side with that. 4am texts from him, the invitation from him to bring me out for a drink so he could directly tell me how great he was, him telling me over and over how lucky I was, the lie about her travelling 3 hours away to a party alone when they travelled together. Yes I was a bit jealous, but not to the point where I went all out attack. I told her my concerns, I was open and honest, I didn't accuse.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 11:57am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119325948#Comment_119325948

That's pretty sound advice thank you.

JPup · 12-07-2022 12:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119325636#Comment_119325636

It is an unhealthy view of sex, but not at all uncommon on Ireland in my experience. Sex and sin went hand in hand for generations. Sexual thoughts and desires in teenage or young adult women were regarded as shameful: Not to be explored or acted upon. It will take a long time to fully break that cycle in this country.

WJL · 12-07-2022 12:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119324761#Comment_119324761

That's a start. I wonder does she really believe that about her looks. Probably I suppose.

Mellor · 12-07-2022 12:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119325971#Comment_119325971

In you OP, it sounded very much like the talking about him, the hotel 3 hours away, the late night calls all happened at very different times. Years between them. And you mentioned there were issues years ago. Which sounds like there was issues from the first incidents. Maybe I took it up wrong. But it does make me curious. Be honest, what were the circumstances of the first fight?

You said you wouldn't be there if it wasn't for the kids, while I understand that. If its true, doesn't seam like you care either way.

Her telling that he wants to meet you for a drink is very odd btw. If he was screwing her, I very much doubt he'd want to meet you praise your wife, and its even less likely she'd bring it up with you. THat's just not the actions of two people cheating. So if that happen, it's more likely that your wife was making it up. Not exactly a positive.

Honestly, I still find parts of the story inbelieveable, or at least not the full story. But I do feel for you if it is all accurate. I should also add there is a lot of terrible advice in the thread. On both "sides". They are not helping you if its true. Not sure if they are trolling or incel.

Wanting to have sex after a Hen party is not a red flag. Have you never been at a stripclub, stag party or whatever and been more horny than usual? On the other hand, saying that you pushed her away and he is probably a predator is nonsense of the other extreme.

Two choices if you are being fully honest, talk to her, or try to catch her out - if she is cheating it won't be hard as she is terrible at it.

IK09 · 12-07-2022 1:14pm

Hey man,

You're slowly driving yourself insane. Its only going to get worse. You're allowed to be jealous. You're only human. Ya its a bit of a character flaw but when you get a notion in your head...and you search for proof of it...even if none exists...you wont be satisfied with that and you'll keep building it up and building it up until you have so much to say and so many questions to ask that you just blurt it out in an incoherent mess of accusations.

My wife was basically drooling over some new guy in Love Island last night. I said "jesus hes not that good looking"...she said "Id leave you for him in the morning". I know it was a joke, but its brought up all kinds of insecurities that I have. **** thats wrong with me...not her or our relationship. So when I get the chance this evening when the kids are gone to bed Im going to say it to her...very simply..."Listen, I know that was a joke or a throw away comment but for some reason its really got to me and I know it shouldn't have but I cant help that, I just need some reassurance that you're not out looking at other men and thinking...ya Id leave my husband for him if he wanted to get with me. I just felt the way you said it was so blasé that it was a common thought."

Will it cause an argument? Probably yes. Will it make me feel better straight away? Most likely not. But the important thing is (especially when you have kids) that I need to communicate an issue THAT I HAVE and Im not going to allow it to cause more of an issue in my head than it should.

How am I going to do that? By sucking up the initial discomfort and possibly even confrontational conversation that needs to be had to make me feel comfortable in the relationship by communicating what happened...how it made me feel....and by asking for reassurance.

Now im sure the people on the internet will say one of 3 things...either;

You're married...stopping being such an insecure needy little child.
Oh if shes saying that in front of you shes defo cheating on you.
Fair play for admitting you have a bit of insecurity, addressing it and communicating about it.

Personally I chose option 3 and tbh I really think you should also. Yes there will be a world of pain about it, but if you want your marriage to work your going to have to actually deal with the problems by communicating. Trust me you can only sweep them under the carpet for so long

Dial Hard · 12-07-2022 1:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119324777#Comment_119324777

If she genuinely thinks sex during the day is "filthy" then her issues with sex go far deeper than just her body image and I really wouldn't be confident of them ever being sorted. In which case, forget about yer man entirely for the time being and ask yourself if you're happy to stay in this relationship for the rest of your life, with sex only on the table every six weeks or so, probably less frequently as time goes by, and always only when you initiate. I know what the answer would be for me.

techman1 · 12-07-2022 1:55pm

From guessing I'd say you live in a rural area and your wife works in an all male work place like a construction company or something.

She is a physically attractive woman so she gets alot of male attention, maybe she gets off on that attention so doesn't really need sex that much. What about during the pandemic and the Working from home thing , did she still goto work or did she WFH, Be interesting if she opted to stay going to work as normal if WFH thing was available?

If I was you I would test the waters about breaking up ,maybe she is using sex as a power thing knowing that you won't leave her but if she sees that maybe you might she could change her tune

JoChervil · 12-07-2022 1:58pm

OP, you gave more information, so I will tell you, how I see the whole situation. Of course I might be completely wrong because I only know bits and pieces.

It looks like she knew him before she met you. This guy did this staring at you when you were only 4 months dating. It might have been that he was a good friend of her and wanted to protect her, wanted to figure out, if you are a good guy for her. It looks like you passed his "exam", if he wanted to "sell" her to you better by praising her so shamelessly.

Her attitude to sex wouldn't indicate cheating. Quite opposite. Yet such people might loose their restrictions after alcohol, so something might have happened. But it would be more one-off.

I don't understand one thing. He wanted to meet with you to tell you how great HE is? Maybe he valued his friendship with your wife and wanted to keep it by reassuring you, that he is not a threat to you in love matters.

Your wife is talking with you, so I would follow her conversations. For example I would ask why she thinks her colleague is great. You might learn something interesting. Everything, what we learn more about our partner works for the relationship.

Many women need to be heard to be able to open fully for sex. So let her talk, ask questions and see, if she is more cooperative. She might have felt heard by her colleague during this 3 hours trip, so was open for sex with you later.

Sorolla · 12-07-2022 2:54pm

@Rebel81

sorry if I wound you up.

it was not intentional - I was indeed trying to play devils advocate.

aplolgies - and as an act of good faith I will not post on this thread again.

notAMember · 12-07-2022 3:27pm

OP the timeline is confusing. Maybe it doesn't make a difference, but you said you saw him first when you were only a few months going out with your now wife. It seemed like she knew him way before this, is she 10+ years in the same company maybe? And now you have two children together. And these events are spanning 5 years Are these toddlers / infant twins you have? It takes time to have babies! And over that time, the events that are upsetting you are these

1) He looked in your direction for too long one time - 5 yrs ago

2) He complimented you on having a nice wife - 5 yrs ago

3) He texted her, a colleague, late at night when they were both at the same event - this year

4) They shared a lift to a conference without clearing it with you in advance. - this year

And some other things like she laughed one day and joked "don't be filthy" when you made a move... which to me, sounds like a fairly lighthearted normal way to talk. You have sex, but not as often as you like. You were invited to have a few drinks with this colleague years ago, which you refused because you think he will compliment your wife, or you.

I mean, sure, he sounds annoying, but I don't see all the red flags other people are seeing. For me, it's communication. You should express these worries to your wife, and ask for reassurance. Not as a demand (gimme more sex), but more about how you're not feeling loved or appreciated and you're worried she will run off with someone.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 4:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119327138#Comment_119327138

Yes they knew each other before I ever came on the scene I. E. They worked together.

Not to sound petty, but on 3) they weren't texts but calls.

On 4), no clearing is required. Jesus, she is not a prisoner of some sort. She told me she was driving on her own. I didnt even ask her who or who she wasn't driving with. Anyway, she drove with him. Driving with him isn't a problem, it's the lie or omission which hurt.

Yes reassurance is what I want, not a fight or an argument. I'm not enjoying this by the way.

ElizaBennett · 12-07-2022 5:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119323586#Comment_119323586

No I'm divorced now actually. All of that work emotional affair stuff made me realise I desperately wanted to feel loved again. So I took action and ended the marriage. Didn't end up with the work guy as that had ended / never started due to him being married . I did meet someone else though fairly soon after. To answer your other question, I never met the work guy outside of work as we both knew we were playing with fire and had very strong feelings so just never let it go that far. Hour after hour of tea and chats in work though. It was incredibly painful to have those feelings that could go nowhere.

I don't know what to advise you beyond just having it out with her. Her insecurity and lack of interest in sex does make me doubt that she's had a physical thing with him. The two don't add up.. in my opinion anyway.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 8:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119327862#Comment_119327862

Thanks for taking the time to reply.

Those 2 specific things don't add up for me either so perhaps it's emotional. I'll never know.

I don't think I have in me to have it out with her... Again.

notAMember · 12-07-2022 9:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119327509#Comment_119327509

Thanks, the timeline is coming together here now better. You met her 5 years ago, got married and have had 2 babies together, which means they must be really very young. She works. Setting the other fellow aside, which may either be a problem, or may be a symptom of something like insecurity on your part, is there any chance there's a bit of this going on? Because it's REALLY common. There are threads after threads on babies disrupting the dynamic in marriages.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 9:03pm

You're not far off.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119326570#Comment_119326570

Yes you are close enough in your assumption.

She had to go to work yes. I worked from home for 2 years.

We had out last night, well more of a heated discussion about our sex life or lack of it. She said what are you going to do, move out of our bedroom? I did say yes but have obviously not gone ahead with that and it's back to normal again.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 9:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328783#Comment_119328783

My time line is a bit off.

Our kids are 7 and 4. We have been together 9 years.

The asking me out for a drink etc and just the weird behaviour was at the start. 2 years in they went on this 3 hour trip to an overnight Xmas party.

Let's put it into context. When I told her that it bothered me and whether something was going on that she had to lie about it, she went all guns blazing and also cried. I hadn't accused her of anything just asked her if there is something I should be concerned about, because if the shoe was on the other foot, she may think the same. It was then I checked her phone and the messages between them were deleted. Apparently his text messages can be long and misconstrued!

Dial Hard · 12-07-2022 9:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328783#Comment_119328783

Of course it's gone back to normal, because she knows you will never actually follow through on any of your promises/ultimatums/threats.

Honestly, OP, I have no idea what you actually want from this thread at this point. You need to get yourself into counselling, both solo and as a couple.

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 9:27pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328892#Comment_119328892

I just wanted perspective, to lay out the facts and to confirm that I have cause for suspicion.

At this stage, I don't even know.

I'm following through, it's been rinse and repest for so long. When I've tried to discuss our sex life in the past, she always promises that she will try harder. She don't try!

When she rejects me, she says thanks for being so patient!!

I'm following through and thanks for your advice.

12-07-2022 9:28pm

Hi OP,

Sorry for your troubles but can i just point out that, imo, your issues aren't about you, your wife and her friend. They are really about the relationship solely between you and your wife. It's certainly possible she's had or having an affair with him, but really, even if she isn't, what sort of relationship do ye currently have, and what sort of relationship are ye actually building?

Imo, you should be pretty worried that on some level it's only the kids keeping you in this relationship (or at least, I think you intimated that?) - that sounds like a relationship you've checked out of as a lover/partner.

I think you need to really consider what you want your life to be here, and then ask can you give enough to this relationship to fix it, and can your wife give enough to it to fix it etc.

Genuinely good luck OP. i know it's easier to focus on the external threat to the relationship but it sounds (to me) like the internal ones are more pressing.

12-07-2022 9:37pm

I still don't think she's having an affair.

...Ghost... · 12-07-2022 10:10pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328849#Comment_119328849

100% sure she's having affair now. And you know it too. Time to admit it to yourself out loud and make decisions

Rebel81 · 12-07-2022 10:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119329148#Comment_119329148

This was not 5 years as I've been saying all along which is incorrect, but maybe 6 or 7.

Just to clarify this did not happen at today or yesterday.

techman1 · 12-07-2022 10:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328783#Comment_119328783

I actually sort of agree with another poster that maybe this guy is not actually your real problem because if he was off the scene would anything really change. We all know that women like when men fancy them and she gets her kicks from that I think.

But you don't want to leave her and she doesn't want to leave you either. To be honest I dont think the whole WFH thing is that healthy for relationships and usually it is the man that is still going out to work rather than the other way around. So when the schools were closed during Covid were you self schooling the children while she was still going out to work? Because she is going out to work but you are at home you are not being distracted yourself by your own work scene but your mind is in overdrive about what your wife is doing at work. Would it not be better for you to opt to go back into working in office that way you are not at home all day. Is she leaning on you to do the rearing of the children and then taking you for granted ?

I know I am coming from this from left field but still these could be big factors

Rmgblue · 13-07-2022 5:29am

Your wife is a guard isn’t she? I honestly don’t think she is having an affair but you guys have a lot to work on.

RojaStar · 13-07-2022 8:49am

There's definitely something going on there that if you knew the full extent of it you would probably find it upsetting but it could be quite innocent. Maybe something happened between them before you two got serious and it definitely sounds like at least one of them hasn't completely let go of it. It sounds a bit like he's pushing it and she's flattered by it and indulges it. One of your recent comments about deleting his messages because they are long and easily misconstrued rings alarm bells but also reinforces my thoughts on the situation.

As everyone else has said, the focus needs to be on repairing your relationship as things are not good between you. All of this work colleague stuff is a distraction. It's a tough situation OP but it sounds like you are not ready to give up on your wife, perhaps couples counselling would be a good idea to help you both get a bit of perspective as to where things have veered off course.

CreadanLady · 13-07-2022 11:35am

I've read the thread and, ugh. This relationship is over and toxic.

Her and her friend sound like head wreckers.

You sound like a jealous and controlling partner.

But at the end of the day she does have this friend for much longer than you have been on the scene. I think you have two options - you either put up and keep shtum, or you call it out and have it out.

Either way, there are only 2 possibilities here, whether she is or isn't cheating, calling it out will break the relationship and ye are finished.

If you put up, well it is still clear you are highly suspicious of your wife and you do not trust her at all. That too is a death knell for the relationship.

There is no winning here. This relationship is in a check mate scenario.

It's over. Just bite the bullet and finish it.

Vestiapx · 13-07-2022 12:04pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119329878#Comment_119329878

Any thought that she isn't went away when I saw this. I would be confident that if he's a Guard then the reason yer man wanted to buy you a drink was cos it had been happening before you were on the scene and he wanted to see if you knew as he's married or was in a relationship and didn't want his partner finding out.

notAMember · 13-07-2022 12:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119330681#Comment_119330681

Isn't there the option that the OP learns to cope with his wife having a male friend? It's far from impossible. Don't we all have partners / spouses with a buddy or two who we wouldn't be pals with.

CreadanLady · 13-07-2022 1:24pm

Yeah there's no problem having friends of any gender. But the op seems to have a problem with it to the point that he cannot get past it.

And anyway, even if the side wants to ride the friend, that is her decision to make. Not his. And if, IF, she wants to do that, OP can either take it or leave it.

Rebel81 · 13-07-2022 1:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119330101#Comment_119330101

Thanks Roja.

I love my wife. A lot or this is common in relationships, I know that.

We need to do more together as we don't make the time for us. She brought this up yesterday, that we need a weekend together, a night out, anything. Gotta do that!

Outside of the bedroom, we get on quite well, fall out now and again which are usually over something small but we make up after discussing.

Rebel81 · 13-07-2022 1:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119330681#Comment_119330681

This relationship is far from over, and no it's not toxic. Parts of it are causing pain, doesn't means its totally toxic.

I control nothing about my wife. Sure I get jealous at times and keep it to myself, as perhaps that's just my own insecurities to deal with.

I'm finishing nothing. I love my wife and we will be fine.

Rebel81 · 13-07-2022 1:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119329878#Comment_119329878

Not a guard no, but front line services yes.

Me neither.

Rebel81 · 13-07-2022 1:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119330890#Comment_119330890

Hi there is nothing wrong with having male friends, she has loads of them.

Not sure if you trying to play devil's advocate. Have you not read the thread and as to why I posted?

CreadanLady · 13-07-2022 1:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331249#Comment_119331249

You are controlling. If you don't believe me then here is why....You want to control who she is friends with, or at the very least and you want to control the terms of that friendship.

Jealousy is the source of a lot of controlling behaviours.

canonball5 · 13-07-2022 2:34pm

OP, stop listening to these nonsense replies. Men and women cannot be friends under any circumstance because someone always wants to get someone into bed. Put your foot down and tell her to grow up. She will respect you more for being a man and never let anyone have this type of control over you. Married women should not be receiving calls outside of work and especially on nights out and don't even get me started on the staying in hotels to save a tenner.

blackbox · 13-07-2022 2:48pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331680#Comment_119331680

Are you posting from Afghanistan?

Furze99 · 13-07-2022 2:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331249#Comment_119331249

There are embittered people on this thread, who've had some fall out in relationships and project this onto their replies.

So you may make up your own mind, from the sound of it you have it in hand.

gary550 · 13-07-2022 3:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119328849#Comment_119328849

Yeah, that second part is majorly sus. The only time I ever see women acting like that is when they are guilty as sin and trying to hide it and I grew up in a nearly all women household. Either she is extremely emotional and bursting into tears at a mere suggestion is normal or that is a pretty atypical thing to do under the circumstances.

Also, who deletes text messages because they could be misconstrued (where does that thought even come from if they are anything other than filth)? What is to be misconstrued about conversations that should only concern "work"?

G'luck man, I hope you can get to the better side of this someday whatever that may be.

CreadanLady · 13-07-2022 3:33pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331680#Comment_119331680

That is bolderdash and a very unhealthy view. So you cannot be friends with half the population?

I have friends of both genders.

But you would be surprised how many people are of this belief that men and women cannot be friends. I think it reflects their own internal dysfunctional thoughts.

Car99 · 13-07-2022 4:10pm

How long can you continue in a relationship like that anyways whether it's because she is cheating or not. Outside of sexual relations how is you relationship?

Rebel81 · 13-07-2022 4:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119332258#Comment_119332258

Its a good relationship outside of sex. We are the parents of young children, we both work full time. We are doing our best.

Hannibal_Smith · 13-07-2022 4:49pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119332350#Comment_119332350

OP, you started a thread looking for advice as to whether your wife is having an affair or not. You are checking her phone and doubting many of her actions and her honesty. That is not a good relationship.

Its clear you're not looking for advice in relation to the male colleague any more and in your mind everything is fine now, with the exception of the lack of sex in the marriage.

You're going back to burying the issue with the colleague like you did five years ago. So this will just lay dormant until you either address it properly or wait for the next work event to kick it all off in your head again, which is neither good or healthy.

Either way it seems like you are no longer looking for advice?

dybbuk · 13-07-2022 4:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119331680#Comment_119331680

That is a very refreshing take on this situation. But I wonder, do you think it would be better if OP's wife's male friend was homosexual? Or would it make it even worse?

Pussyhands · 13-07-2022 11:27pm

I'd try and scope her out a bit.

If she's having it on with this guy she'll be protective of her phone.

Fake a thing and say you want her phone to ring your own phone.

Or ask her for her phone to send you a WhatsApp message to test emojis or gifs or something.

If she was upto no good then she'd be probably protective of her phone.

Wife and her male colleague

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