How do you stay connected to your past self?

completedit · 17-07-2022 6:21pm #1

So I am getting older, almost 33 and tbh I hate it on so many levels. Getting older is boring as ****; people get more boring and just retreat into their own **** world of mortgages, kids and work. 20's are amazing; nobody has baggage and everything is new. It feels like you're a work in progress and then you wake up at 30 and you're supposed to be the ready made finished article who is ready to leave the good times behind and enjoy bullshit like quite pints and gardening.

So my question is how do you keep up your youth as you get older? Is it an evolving music interest? Sense of fashion? Remaining open to experiences? Still enjoying a night out?

Allinall · 17-07-2022 6:25pm

You haven’t seen or experienced anything yet.

Wait till you’re 34.

Its hell.

completedit · 17-07-2022 6:34pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350278#Comment_119350278

**** me. I'll probably top myself when am 35.

thefallingman · 17-07-2022 6:36pm

You never step in the same river twice.

Pauliedragon · 17-07-2022 6:38pm

I know plenty of people in their mid/late 30's who still act like they are 22 OP so you've plenty of time.

Jim_Hodge · 17-07-2022 6:41pm

Good God! You can really enjoy life in your 30s, 40s, 50s... Why couldn't you? Good Times are there for the making.

Pissy Missy · 17-07-2022 6:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350278#Comment_119350278

Yup 34 and it's a bit **** tbh but that's cause most my friends are married off with kids and unavailable so I don't have many friends to head out with

Pissy Missy · 17-07-2022 6:43pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350320#Comment_119350320

🤣🤣🤣Jaysus

gameoverdude · 17-07-2022 6:48pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350320#Comment_119350320

Fire away so.

Jaysus 35! Life is just beginning. Absolute cool age

Pissy Missy · 17-07-2022 6:53pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

It honestly just depends on what your situation is. When I was 30 I was finishing a masters which I absolutely adored with fabulous ppl around me on the course and had the best holiday of my life in ibiza 🥳

It all just comes down to your situation and what makes you happy. Money helps too😆

Strumms · 17-07-2022 7:21pm

Mid 30’s is youth on your side but experience in the bank. 30’s were way more fun then 20’s.

always look forward while not forgetting to enjoy now… don’t be too focused on the past either the good or bad.

Montage of Feck · 17-07-2022 7:28pm

It's like Trigger's broom or the ship of Theseus; when does your past self become a totally different person to the one your are now?

gameoverdude · 17-07-2022 7:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350553#Comment_119350553

Wow dude. Intense. So, like you're saying, that your past self may influence your future self? Mind bending. Wow!

Montage of Feck · 17-07-2022 7:43pm

Other than a very select group of cells the body you currently have wasn't the one you were born in/with (?).

amacca · 17-07-2022 7:50pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350597#Comment_119350597

No...... I wouldn't take that from it....

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LAh8HryVaeY

gameoverdude · 17-07-2022 7:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350666#Comment_119350666

Not looking at a YouTube link. So what are you saying?

Furze99 · 17-07-2022 8:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

Why would you want to stay connected to your past self? That sounds boring as shite! Your 30s are someone says above, are where you've loads energy and some experience. It's a time to figure out where you really want to go in life and start moving that way. Because before you know it, you're fecking forty and the opportunities have slipped past.

olestoepoke · 17-07-2022 8:23pm

I'm almost 50 and I still play astro soccer once a week. That's me clinging to one of the activities that truly made me happy when I was younger, sports.When I eventually get too old for that I'll probably wither away into the abyss of old age and die lol.

Leg End Reject · 17-07-2022 8:25pm

Anyone that feels old at 33 needs a swift kick up the arse. Start living and leave the existential crisis until you're middle-aged, then get over that and start living again.

elperello · 17-07-2022 8:35pm

Transcendental Meditation, your only man.

amacca · 17-07-2022 11:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350673#Comment_119350673

It's the clip from only fools and horses the poster you replied to was referring to.

Basically guy gets award for having his brush for 20 years....turns out it's had 17 different heads and 14 handles over that time

Now I've just butchered a classic piece of comedy. You really should watch the clip.....

So maybe the posters intended message wasn't you learn from your past self (not that I don't believe that, we are after all a product of our experiences) but more that you are an entirely different person now to the one you were before with perhaps very little in common between the two.....

The truth for me is a mixture of both....

17-07-2022 11:10pm

We're all going to die. Why do we prolong this bullshit existence? Spend years of your life doing meaningless crap only to die and have it all forgotten. Seems utterly pointless to me..

gameoverdude · 17-07-2022 11:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119351627#Comment_119351627

Ah! Trigger.

We are of course a product of our past

Possibly, hopefully better.

Life is a journey. Scarey, exciting...but none the less, I can't wait!

muddypaws · 17-07-2022 11:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350788#Comment_119350788

Or move on to walking football - great fun. I'm 57 and play it as well as gaelic for Mothers and Others - we can still teach the young uns a thing or two lol

olestoepoke · 18-07-2022 6:12am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119350821#Comment_119350821

I think this probably deserves its own thread. I've read and watched videos and appreciate the many benefits of this, and have tried to get into it many times. I just cannot calm my mind for long enough. Any tips?

Jim_Hodge · 18-07-2022 7:05am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119351631#Comment_119351631

Because we have great fun, new experiences, love, laughter, and adventures alone the way. Every day can be a thing of joy and beauty.

peckerhead · 18-07-2022 7:15am

Il faut imaginer Sisyphe heureux.

18-07-2022 8:50am

You don't "have to" be a finished product by 30. Or 40. And interests like gardening come naturally. Just enjoy what you enjoy. I'm really into music, but not to stay connected to my youth (why bother doing that?) - it's just an interest that has never wavered.

pgj2015 · 18-07-2022 8:56am

Don't get married. Date younger women.

artvanderlay · 18-07-2022 9:04am

Lego.

18-07-2022 9:23am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

Why not, you know, mature?

elperello · 18-07-2022 10:10am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119351879#Comment_119351879

Possibly does.

I wouldn't presume to advise anyone but these guys are the experts.

https://tm-ireland.org/

AMKC · 18-07-2022 10:18am

Lol. You think 30 is old lol. Not at all. I went to Sustralua when I was 30 well I was 29 but 30 when I came home and had my 30th birthday there. My most memorable birthday. You are only as old as you feel.

Pissy Missy · 18-07-2022 10:21am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352682#Comment_119352682

Or the person you're feeling up..

18-07-2022 10:28am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

43 here and I have the opposite issue to you. I keep discovering new things in life that capture my attention and imagination and I immerse myself in them. And mostly I never let them go so there is a lot of struggle to do all the things I want to do. I really need 36 hour days instead of 24 hour days at this point. But I still feel like a "work in progress" and I am still stuggling to better the things I am already great at - and get good at some things I discovered I suck at. Random examples I recently got into learning how to handle and fire rifles with my now 11 year old daugther. We love it. I also got into bow and arrow when my friends pitched in together to get me a serious bow. I also recently discovered horse riding and I took to it more than I expected I would. And most recently I have combined them into firing arrows from horse back. Its great fun. I still find time to do all my capoeira, tai chi, Jujitsu, bow staff, meditation and the jokingly named "Jedi acadamy" I run for some local "problem" teens.

Also I did not find that people retreated into their own world. Rather what happened as we aged was people retreated away from pub culture because it messed up their ability to engage with the world of mortgages, kids and work. Hangovers that were somewhat tolerable for a few hours the next morning started turning into a lethargy that could last two or three days.

So I got proactive in ensuring we just found new things to do together that did not involve hours in the pub. But if you do not - or can not - find an alternative to that lifestyle as you age then indeed it will look like everyone has retreated into their own little worlds. But they likely want to find new and interesting ways to get back and engage with the world just as much as you do. It sometimes just takes someone to get proactive about it really.

I see my friends as often as ever now. But instead of doing it down the pub we do a once a month house party in my place - or we go hunting or fishing - or we work on some projects together (our annual weaponized go kart race is coming up actually!) and more.

So you ask how to hold on to this as you age? I guess stay curious and stay interested in life is the only way. Realize you are in a body that you have not yet pushed to it's limits. There are things it can do and acomplish - feats it can perform - ways it can move - balance - dance - fight - and more that you have not discovered yet. I am on a constant path to see what else this body of mine can do before it gets to the point where it starts shutting down and can not do any of it :)

Padre_Pio · 18-07-2022 10:31am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352698#Comment_119352698

Alright alright alright...

Ray Palmer · 18-07-2022 10:32am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

Most people grow up. When you were a child you could be happy with a bag of sweets and cartoons. You get older your tastes change and you might prefer a good burger and nice beer. Older again it is a steak and a nice bottle of wine.

My 20s were full of drama which was really pointless and I still see people in their 40s act the same way as if they live in Eastenders or something. People also change dramatically when they responsibilities and realise being a carefree 20 year old is not going to work if you have rent and mortgage payments and can't run back to your parents.

You can live as you like. I don't have kids and loved video games but now I find DIY much more fun than playing a video game. Do you remember when you were in your 20s and saw some people in their 40s in a nightclub? What did you think about them? I know plenty thought they were creepy and that is what you will be seen as if you continue not to grow up

CreadanLady · 18-07-2022 10:32am

Some people have very dysfunctional thinking around ages. Things like thinking once you get to such an age you are fúcked or that you must start doing this or can no longer do that.

I had one friend who freaked out at turning 30. He got all hot and bothered about it and would not discuss it and had a near meltdown when someone gave him a surprise birthday cake.

What I always when I hear these 30 freakouts is that be thankful you are 21/30/40/50 or whatever age - think of people you knew who never got to have that birthday because they died from illness or an accident or whatever.

pgj2015 · 18-07-2022 10:48am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352756#Comment_119352756

what if you are in your 40's in a nightclub but with someone you are going out with? are you a creep then?

I saw them people and only thought they were creepy if they were doing creepy things, most were just having a laugh. I saw people in their 20's being creeps in nightclubs though.

Padre_Pio · 18-07-2022 10:48am

There's a serious shift in people once they get to 30. Women especially are very aware of their biological clock and talk of babies, marriage, houses are constant.

Most of the lads couldn't give a f*ck, but happy wifey happy lifey.

pgj2015 · 18-07-2022 10:52am

A serious shift for SOME people not all people.

A lot of people settle down way too young in my opinion.

Ray Palmer · 18-07-2022 10:56am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352816#Comment_119352816

Yeah lots of people see that as creepy too. Never said it bothered me much but common for people to find it creepy. Worked in nighclubs for a bit and quite common for any person much older than the rest of the crowd being seen as creepy. Age doesn't make you creepy and lots of creeps of all ages. Being so out of sync with your peers does suggest something is up like you never grew up

Pissy Missy · 18-07-2022 11:00am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352756#Comment_119352756

Unless you're a hot 40 year old you will not be discriminated against

pgj2015 · 18-07-2022 11:07am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352861#Comment_119352861

You didn't answer my question. I am in my 30's and wouldn't have much interest in nightclubs, enjoy the odd gig but I think people should lighten up a but and not care about people being older in nightclubs, its not like they are going to youth discos, night clubs don't have an age limit.

Wanderer78 · 18-07-2022 11:08am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058254904/how-do-you-stay-connected-to-your-past-self

no baggage in your 20's! gimme a break, show me a 20 year old that has none, the amount of sh1te that was wondering around in my head during that period, ffs!

Ray Palmer · 18-07-2022 11:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352888#Comment_119352888

I wouldn't bank on that. Who goes to a nightclub on their own? Not age discrimination either just something that is out of place. It is as creepy as a person in their early 20s hanging around with teens of 16 and up

pgj2015 · 18-07-2022 11:11am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352888#Comment_119352888

Maybe they don't care about being discriminated against?

18-07-2022 11:17am

No one's a finished product at any age. Life is for living and how you chose to do that and at what stage is entirely up to the individual. I know people that happily settled down in their 20's and some in their 40's. I personally had a great 20's but stuff happened at late 20's and when i reflect really only became my own person in my 30's. My self esteem and belief really only started then and i think my 30s have really been my formative years in all aspects of my life be it personal, professional, romantic etc.

There is no old me, just me then and me now. And i dont think there will be a finished me ever. I see this in my parents who in their 70's are still doing and learning new things. Their mindset and mentality has changed as their kids and now grandkids grow up and new experiences happen and I personally are extremely lucky and grateful that they have the open mind to see that not alot is set in stone and try to life like that.

Pissy Missy · 18-07-2022 11:22am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352942#Comment_119352942

I def have seen a lot of men go to clubs on their own. But to me this sends out a red flag. At the same time I can empathise with them, when your friends are going off in different direction and you really want to head out and you have no one to go with you, what can you do.

Still I like dancing so I'll be that 'out of place person' til I'm 70 please god 😆

Pissy Missy · 18-07-2022 11:25am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119352943#Comment_119352943

They def shouldn't care, lifes too short and in reality ppl don't give a **** about anything but themselves as in they're too worried about themselves than that 'older' person across the bar despite a possible fleeting thought or 'eww weird/creepy' 2 second comment over it

erlichbachman · 18-07-2022 11:36am

Changed career and started a degree at 34, the mind never gets old, just might get a bit tired more often but never gets old, forget your age, stay innocent and embrace the beautiful foolishness of acting without expectation.

How do you stay connected to your past self?

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