6 weeks dating and woman says she want to try for a baby

jjnew · 22-07-2022 11:55am

Thanks for the replies.

Yes, this looks like trouble. Best to get out now.

jjnew · 22-07-2022 1:03pm

Looks like she just wants a baby no matter what so I would be better to get out before it is too late.

To say to someone you just met 6 weeks ago that you want to try for a baby in a few months is just plain crazy

22-07-2022 1:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119371830#Comment_119371830

Medication to prevent getting HIV.

SEPT 23 1989 · 22-07-2022 1:19pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119372358#Comment_119372358

you learn something new everyday

22-07-2022 1:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119372369#Comment_119372369

jaysus, does that mean a baby doesnt get it too?? sounds mercenary and merciless, all the more reason to bag it

OP, imo, while she is being forthright, thats not necessarily a good thing other than that its a good heads up for you, It could depend person to person, but I dont think you can know someone in 6 weeks. IMO she sounds selfish, its what she wants, and a relationship isnt what she is thinking about so she isnt thinking of you & her moving on with the next stage together, you are basically a sperm donor to her imo. Do you have a lot of assets she could claim or try take? is she set up financially to support a baby or does she just plan on having a child and you to pay her way and maybe for you to not even have any life with the child? Sounds like you arent being considered nor ever will be, she wants a sperm donor, thats it. For that level of selfishness, I'd say you should tell her you want to get know each other better, enjoy the ride and be careful, provide own condoms and dont let them out of your sight, at the least ask her to get tested, for her/potential baby's sake, but also for your own sake, if she is offended by that, I'd take it into consideration. During this time (so early, six weeks) which is not normal in a relationship for this to even be raised, see if you can find out is she just urgent/worried about her biological clock/crazy/a millionaire, because she sounds like she is selfish and doesn't even know it or care.

If you decline her, let her down gently, more so it protects you, so she doesn't go full mental and accuse you of something, although likely she would just move on to the next sperm donor readily and she will give you about as much thought as she will in the future when she dismisses and disregards you.

I wouldnt run, but Id be getting ready to

jjnew · 22-07-2022 1:44pm

Thanks

Drumpot · 22-07-2022 2:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119370674#Comment_119370674

This is true, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with her being open and up front.

I told my wife after a week of meeting her what my long term ideals were for a relationship 22 years ago. She felt the same and we’ve been together since with kids, a house and a dog. I didn’t want a fling even that young, I wanted a partner and basically didn’t want to waste mine and another persons time “getting to know each other” before finding out vital life goal differences. In many regards it’s a more mature way to start a relationship.

To be frank, if somebody thinks it’s a red flag that a person being open about what they want in a relationship and their long term plans for a child (that’s going to be a massive change to their lives) then it’s a reflection of those peoples preferences. There’s nothing at all wrong with what that lady did, the people calling it a red flag are just projecting what they think is “normal” and what they want (or don’t want) from a partner.

There’s nothing wrong with whatever way others engage or prefer in a Budding or potential relationship but it’s just mean to throw out a “red flag” comment in this manner. Had she disclosed that she liked her victims cooked medium well, that’s a red flag, but this is simply somebody actually being open and honest about a very deep desire they have. Just seems like some are judging this disclosure in a childishly mean spirited way.

If the OP shares these sentiments then show her some respect by declining to take things further, she’s better off without you as you are with her.

Donald Trump · 22-07-2022 3:07pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119371018#Comment_119371018

Being up front about something does not necessarily mean that it is not something you should run from. It can still indicate a nutter.

If someone told you that they were currently addicted to cocaine but that they planned to get off it by switching to heroin in six months would you think that is the opposite of a red flag - given that she told you up front?

If she is desperate, run away unless she is literally your only option and you think the crazy is worth it.

jjnew · 22-07-2022 3:36pm

Thanks

TheadoreT · 22-07-2022 6:42pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119372693#Comment_119372693

There's a massive difference between stating your intentions about wanting kids or whatever other relationship expectations and actually saying to a new partner you want to start trying with them after 8 months. I'm not sure you've understood that here. One of those scenarios is perfectly fine, the other a big red flag. And 8 months is short term, not long term as you stated. This isn't about being on the same page, it's about her wanting a kid yesterday with anyone.

clobber · 22-07-2022 7:55pm

And it started off in of all places Tinder :D

There have been some horrific stories from Tinder even though this is a different type of horrific

You'd have to wonder how many others she has done this with

Hannibal_Smith · 22-07-2022 7:58pm

OP in light of your other thread, I'm going to close this thread too. Please see the edit to your opening post in the other thread and contact someone who can offer help to you.

All the best

HS

6 weeks dating and woman says she want to try for a baby

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