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RTÉ journo given 15months for sexually assaulting woman as she slept

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭Brid Hegarty


    One PUA artist said that what he would do with any girl he brings home, is that once he gets them into the bedroom, he makes no advances and waits (for as long as it takes) for them to take the initiative. And then he'd ask them if they sure they want to, several times, before anything happens. A sure proof method of never being accused of rape, which you would need if you were having sex with that large a volume of girls.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    If you chat with your partner and have consent to wake them up with a bit of action, then there's no real problem. But that's because they've dealt with consent

    There is no such thing as a consent blank cheque to be cashed at some point in the future.

    The law is clear, you cannot consent when you are asleep.

    Some unlikely conversation between partners would not be a defence to that, unless it was an extremely recent conversation with specifics. Even at that, consent has to be 'ongoing' under the law.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]



    Same judge, not sure how all of this aligns with sentencing when you also account for the 15 months Lisa Smith got for joining ISIS



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Yeah that's one approach. But another approach is to be a grown up and chat about it.

    Like, the question "do you like that" isn't just a rhetorical device to get the other person to tell you what a brilliant lover you are. It's also a genuine way to make sure the other person is having a good time and consenting to what they're both doing.

    You're not trying to get sex FROM someone, you're trying to have sex WITH someone.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,393 ✭✭✭raclle


    Why are my posts being deleted especially the one where I stated that there's a discussion around the new laws about consent on the radio? How is that deemed inappropriate?

    Edit: Apparently there's a duplicate thread. Could the mods merge or delete one of them please



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Maybe. But if you actually chat with your partner and tell them you'd like to be woken up with them touching you, that's different to doing it without ever discussing it. I don't know the specifics of the law so if you know them, I'll defer to you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,844 ✭✭✭RobbieTheRobber




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    I don't usually bite on loaded questions so il answer by saying the aim would be to teach him not to be a willing sap, using this chump as an example, could keep a lot of guys out of jail



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,700 ✭✭✭Gusser09


    It would still be his word against hers though. And that appears to be a mojor problem too. Should he have her sign something. Or record a video saying she consents?



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    She should no longer have been in his bed once she got an attack of buyers remorse or whatever, most people aren't comfortable bringing strangers home to nap beside them ,he made his first mistake by not asking her to leave once she decided she didn't fancy him anymore, her reason for being there in the first place had now expired

    This wasn't someone he was in a relationship with, obviously in that instance you don't expect a partner to leave

    Guy was a prize schmuck from start to finish



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,844 ✭✭✭RobbieTheRobber


    So far in a thread on sexual assault we have the usual types of posters playing what about bingo.

    Topics that have nothing to do with sexual assualt but have been brought in.

    Lisa Smith

    Anti immigrant chat.



  • Site Banned Posts: 12,341 ✭✭✭✭Faugheen


    The risk is there no matter what, of course, but the likelihood of two partners, having built up an understanding and trust over a number of years, taking a case compared to two randomers is much lower.

    I don’t judge what two people in a relationship would do in their bedrooms, but it doesn’t mean that this guy can have a free-for-all just because it’s alright among two partners in someone else’s house.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    You would have to be fairly specific and even at that the law may not see it that way.

    But the reality is couples are not having that conversation it's just not realistic.

    What happens in reality is the other person responds favourably or tells you fúck off back to sleep and that's the end of it.

    But the jist of the OPs point is correct even if unlikely, if you touch your partner while they are asleep that is sexual assault according to our laws, it's crystal clear, if not the most crystal of clear of laws surrounding consent.

    It's extremely rare a case like this would get to court. It's why there is 3 threads on it.

    But it is a discussion worth having, now the extremes of she is a mental ill bítch to he is a serial predator is nonsense, the debate lies firmly in-between.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Water off a ducks back

    Look if some guys willingly sign up to a new deal which is ridiculously lob sided in terms of balance ( consent places all responsibilities on the guy in any encounter) that's their choice ,personally I would not wish to see either my son or a friend hauled off to the clink in the name of ideological purity

    Not everyone however is willing to play ball with this new WOKE paradigm shift so i say deny everything and do not send texts, being a sacrificial lamb is a mugs game, for the zealous, this guy will still be condemned when he leaves prison



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    The risk? The law is clear.

    What you are talking about is the risk that you will be reported for sexual assault - that's very different, where your partner will in all likely hood sprain your hand and tell you do one, some one you don't know may report you. But even that is extremely rare.

    In both situations it is very much sexual assault. You cannot consent when you are asleep.



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  • Site Banned Posts: 12,341 ✭✭✭✭Faugheen


    I’ve been making this point throughout so I think we agree here.

    Just you get the usual suspects talking about contracts with their wives pretending to not know the difference.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭Brid Hegarty


    Well of course, but what I'm saying is that it would take a lot more nerve to do so if the girl knows that it was her who seduced him. What I'm also saying is that - usually - no one is completely without blame when rape claims are made. Even if it's a false claim, the guy must have made some mistake along the way. It could be that he kicked her out in the morning (as he would be entitled to do), spoke rudely to her, or ignored her. Now if someone already regrets the night before, that's really going to rub it in. So although the guy mightn't have raped the girl, claiming rape might be the only way for her to get back at him.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,873 ✭✭✭hynesie08


    Well then teach them not to grope sleeping women who already said no, it's not the psychological minefield you're portraying it to be.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,392 ✭✭✭✭Furze99


    I don't believe so and the devil would be in the detail, but as reported:

    "The bill would change the current situation where a man is not guilty of rape if he believed that he had the consent of a woman.

    Under the new proposals, the accused's defence that he believed she was consenting has to be objectively reasonable."

    As things stand, the benefit of the doubt (that can inevitably arise in such cases) is given to the accused party. As reported, the benefit of the doubt will now be given to the accuser.

    That's a very big and fundamental change. It's a potential charter for mostly women to deny they gave consent and have their partners prosecuted & convicted of rape.

    Please explain how it could be otherwise. In such a case, presumably the judge & jury would hear evidence from both sides but when push comes to shove, the benefit of the doubt will now be given to the accuser.

    This is poor proposed legislation and should be resisted by any right thinking person.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,393 ✭✭✭raclle


    There seems to be a consensus that waking someone up for sex is wrong now? Would morning sex not fall into this category too since they're just after waking up and not in their right frame of mind. I mean where does it stop?



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Sure but thats just one detail in this story, as I said earlier, he should have shown her the door once she began having buyers remorse, she was at best a flake ,unfortunately she was much worse



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    But would you also bother to teach them not to initiate sex with someone who is asleep and can't consent or is that not an important thing to learn from this example?



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,781 ✭✭✭Motivator


    sounds like the actions of a closet serial killer in my opinion. What weirdo carries on like that?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    A relationship is the most likely place for that discussion to happen at all. Much less lilely to happen in an ONS situation but not impossible. But why is it so unlikely between adults in a relationship? How do couples figure out they're into anything beyond vanilla sex? They talk about it.

    This is beginning to sound like peoppe who can't discuss sex with the very person they're having sex with. Sounds childish TBH.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    Well that is clearly nonsense, but so is the contention that no way this couldn't happen between partners.

    You cannot consent when you are asleep, whether it is a one night stand or ye are married 50 years.

    The guy in the case was 100% wrong and she was 100% the victim, he committed sexual assault.

    Now if I were to do the exact same to my partner, it would be exactly the same crime.

    So the nuance here is not really the crime itself, but the reporting of the crime. He got for want of a better word 'unlucky'. Not as unlucky as her obviously - she is still very much the victim in this, but separately judging it on the facts and merits of the case I am surprised he received a custodial sentence.

    The judge seems to have second guessed her own judgement.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    You have gone off on a nonsensical tangent, there is nothing purporting to doggy style and consent in our laws.

    The law is crystal clear, you cannot consent when you are asleep.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,244 ✭✭✭Brid Hegarty


    I'd like to see you try and explain exactly what is weird about it? Seems like you're just stereotyping what you see in movies and trying to craft it into some sort of insult. You can't just claim that any sort of unorthodox thinking is indicative of someone being a serial killer. And there's nothing wrong with wanting to have sex with lots of women if that's what you've issue with. It's simply a clever method of making sure that you're far less likely to be accused of rape.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,078 ✭✭✭joseywhales


    Rightly or wrongly, he would not have been convicted if he had just denied the event took place right? I mean for her to prove beyond reasonable doubt that he assaulted her while asleep would have been impossible. So his honesty has been detrimental here. It just reminds me that in all things involving police and the law, offer no information ever, unless legally compelled to do so.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    OK well, there we have it. I'll take your word for it that that's what the law says.

    What's the need for any more discussion on the matter then? The guy did it, he admitted it, was sentenced and that's it.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    Absolutely, he was 100% guilty under the law, there was absolute no wriggle room for an acquittal.

    I don't think that is the end of it though. I'd be shocked if they don't lodge an appeal by deadline Friday.

    As for the need of discussing the matter, I am, indepthly



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    His doing the act was the detrimental part. Maybe he could have lied his way out of it. That's hardly a prescription for dealing with crimes in the country. Just lie and say it didn't happen.

    Fair play to the guy for telling the truth. He let himself down with his behaviour, not be telling truth about it.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭John Doe1


    Men are more likely to be physically attacked.

    Men commit suicide at a much higher rate

    More likely to die alone

    Less chance of gaining custody of children

    Less likely to attend college

    More likely to be homeless

    More likely to die younger

    More likely to be addicted to drugs/alcohol

    Work in more dangerous/less desirable jobs (i.e Logger, bin man)

    More likely to go to prison

    More likely to die in war

    Viewed in mainstream media as an evil oppressor

    Aye, its great being a man..........



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Discussing the matter is fine. There are posters who claim he did nothing wrong or the main thing he did wrong was admit the truth. That's the discussion I'm questioning.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 781 ✭✭✭cap.in.hand.


    The way it looks is she is troubled with what happened on the night/morning and is affecting her enormously and she's bringing him down with her as well and the law is her only weapon to cause his downfall



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    He certainly did something wrong, he broke the law, he sexually assaulted that lady.

    As for the truth I don't think he ever admitted to groping her, just kissing her.

    Personally I think he should be given "credit" for being open in his interviews.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    Reading the victim impact statement it certainly had an effect on her.

    But it appeared to have snowballed and not all that can be placed on the head of the perpetrator IMHO.

    She talks about her friends blaming her, I don't believe for a second that happened and I imagine the evolution and the deterioration of her friendships and her mental health were far more nuanced.

    It's up to the judge to temper that when deciding on an appropriate punishment.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,580 ✭✭✭kerryjack


    I would wonder would they many of us be about if the ould lad didn't put the hand over and try and get her lossened up a bit.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,078 ✭✭✭joseywhales


    Don't think I said the main thing he did wrong was admit the truth, that appears to be your invention.

    I said that if he denied, he probably would not have been convicted.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    You are wilfully ignoring the most important part of all this, and that was she was asleep when he climbed on top of her and started groping her.

    It doesn't matter what went on earlier in the evening. She couldn't consent while asleep, and he committed a sexual assault on a sleeping women.

    Her gender doesn't matter either, it would be exactly the same if it was a same sex couple.

    Your post is seriously disturbing and is proof how badly lessons in consent are needed for young people so they do not take after their parents, if this is their parent's attitude.

    Maybe the goal should be to teach your children how NOT to commit a sexual assault, rather then lie, lie and deny, after the damage is done.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,559 ✭✭✭✭El_Duderino 09


    Why is it not believable that some of her friends blamed her? Lol at the posts in this thread. Lots of people assume she's a crazy bitch, it's her fault, the guy is the victim whose only crime is being gullible and so on.

    I wouldn't be surprised at all if some of her friends had the same attitudes.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 40,611 ✭✭✭✭Boggles


    All of her friends.

    Because on the basis of probabilities, friends are not going to turn around and go 'you dumb slut you asked for it'.

    That's not what friends generally tend to do. I don't believe that is what happened. Of course I could be wrong.

    Like I said I imagine the breakdown in the relationships were far more nuanced.

    If you focus on the 2 extreme sides of the debate, you are not going to get the quality you have asked for.

    Best maybe to return to the OPs question.

    Was the sentence fair. I think it was quite harsh for reasons I have already outlined, how about you?



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 781 ✭✭✭cap.in.hand.


    I'm sure o leidin has his views on why she made the accusations of sexual assault against him as he will be the one who will be scapegoated here



  • Registered Users Posts: 434 ✭✭tooka


    He is guilty of touching her breast without her consent.

    how did this even make the courts.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude


    Send us a picture of your arse and we'll confirm.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,694 ✭✭✭✭osarusan


    That's not what you originally said though - you said was that she could change her mind about it afterwards.

    Anybody who told police that they had consented at the time but later regretted it. so now it's rape, would be told that no crime had been committed.



  • Site Banned Posts: 12,341 ✭✭✭✭Faugheen


    He is guilty of sexual assault.

    Dont downplay what he did. It’s not a good look. He mounted a woman and grabbed her breasts while she slept.

    Textbook sexual assault. That’s how it made it to the courts.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,012 ✭✭✭✭titan18


    Basically makes guilty until proven innocent in court.

    Also, this part is a bit scary to an extent

    The bill would also include the provision that self-induced intoxication would not be a defence to a charge of rape in relation to an accused's capacity to understand if he did have consent.

    Like, to me, sober person sleeping with a drunk person who can't consent, fair game there that's rape/sexual assault.

    Two drunk people though, if the logic is someone drunk doesn't have the capacity to consent, then is it rape by the male and sexual assault by the female, or just who gets to the station first? Or is that all the blame goes on men by default as needing to have all the agency in the situation.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,392 ✭✭✭✭Furze99


    I think you're only getting half the point. If a woman or a man went to the Gardaí and accused someone of rape, but indicated they'd given some form of consent.. how far would that go as things stand? Nowhere.

    Take the current case in this thread, there was no intercourse. But suppose there had been and the woman (in this case) goes to the Gardaí and says she was raped. The fella says he got consent, she says she didn't give consent. Two people, no witnesses. Under this proposed legislation, the benefit of the doubt is to be given to the accuser on balance.

    You must surely see what's wrong with that.



  • Registered Users Posts: 394 ✭✭anglesorangles


    He commited a crime. So thats your take from this , when you commit a crime do not be honest. Nice one.



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