The insane amount of enthusiasm on LinkedIn

Ubbquittious · 02-08-2022 1:10pm #1

Wow! I am so delighted to be starting my new job as a lowly admin staffer in company Y. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd have an icecube's chance in hell of finding such an interesting and fulfilling job to get up for every morning. I would like to sincerely thank all my backstabbing colleagues and my sh1thead of a boss in company X for making my life an absolute hell and prompting me to find something else. It has been one hell of a ride!

I am super excited and jumping up and down with delight to start my new job as a code monkey in company Z so I can work 20 hour days and ensure the directors of said company will soon be able to retire to the Bahamas and earn a steady stream of passive income from the subscription based AI web service I'm about to help them develop. Yes I really cannot wait for all those caffeine-fuelled hours spent late at night trying to fix my code while directors hound me about deadlines from the comfort of their yachts. Also I cannot wait to hand the project over to the Indian IT outsourcing crowd who will run the system for peanuts after they make me redundant.

02-08-2022 1:24pm

David Brent vibes.

02-08-2022 1:37pm

I'd bet if you posted that you won this, you'd just get a load of pats on the back by clowns who didn't read it. The smarmiest corner of the internet.

EmmetSpiceland · 02-08-2022 1:39pm

Those crowns are a, sort of, modern “emperor’s new clothes”, they never look good but nobody says anything about how bad they look.

More and more people seem to be following suit too, walking around with bright gnashers that look too big for their mouths.

silliussoddius · 02-08-2022 4:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119419187#Comment_119419187

Truly, one of Bart's people.

BaywatchHQ · 02-08-2022 8:00pm

It is full of woke millennials with she/her on their bio. The one positive with about being a career failure is that I don't have to work with city millennial types. I still have to work with wretched people though, in one of my former workplaces someone engraved 'UVF' into the toilet wall.

Ubbquittious · 02-08-2022 8:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421139#Comment_119421139

I lived in a place before that had a shed where someone had scribbled IRA on the wall inside. Turned out that back in the day it actually was an IRA meeting spot.

Count Dracula · 02-08-2022 9:09pm

I dislike its' lack of privacy and relentless efforts to inform me of anything I might remotely have in common with someone who I sat beside at some breakfast seminar in 2012.

The worst is when you get crass automated nudges claiming to be sent from a former acquaintance you might have been to Scouts with, or worse again a former colleague, who you basically detested, but felt open minded enough to tolerate. Probably out of sheer professionalism as opposed to any career minded foresight.

The irony is that it consistently fails to deliver the level of professionalism it attempts to advocate itself on. It is essentially a slurry pit of conceited bland millennials who have deluded themselves into thinking that it amounts to a positive aspect of their already dull monotonous careers'.

I am ecstatic for anyone who feels that it has boosted their lives. I am also quite angry that it has facilitated HR agents across the globe by enabling them to scrutinise my homepage and sharing its' contents with random nobodies.

Leg End Reject · 02-08-2022 9:11pm

I always think LinkedIn is a mecca for those with notions and failed aspirations.

Corporate speak biographies littered with spelling and grammatical errors add quite the dash of irony.

Strumms · 02-08-2022 10:19pm

It’s by miles the most narcissistic corner of the internet….

people posting big vomit inducing diatribes about their ‘achievements’ ( basically they did their job ) but make it wordy, throw in some drama and a few photos… hunt down likes and act as if you’d developed a cure for cancer.. ( you bought a new set of shelves for the store room, that were delivered a day early, yay 😍 )

makes your eyes bleed…

Dufflecoat Fanny · 02-08-2022 10:31pm

I made a basic profile to set my position in my company ages ago. I didn't update it except the company and one or two people I know outside of the company. I get company updates from all the arselicking and reacharounds that goes on in the business and it's nauseating. These pricks are the most two faced shallow all smiles troglodytes imaginable

kyote00 · 02-08-2022 10:35pm

Ye are all just jealous of my 10m backstroke achievement and handy sew on badge….

Leg End Reject · 02-08-2022 10:45pm

Is anyone ever honest in relation to work though? Think of your CV and interview answers. I'd be unemployed if I was honest.

"I work to live, don't expect me to be here outside of my contracted hours or to do work that's not in my job description. Oh, I'm lazy and have an unfortunate predisposition to procrastination, but if something needs to be done it will actually get done, on time and to a high standard, albeit grudgingly. Don't annoy me on a Monday or Friday afternoon with your emergencies and demands, you'll find I just don't care. I'm delightful apart from that, when do I start?"

02-08-2022 11:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421913#Comment_119421913

Yeah there's a certain etiquette in job applications/interviews for sure, which isn't the most honest, but the stuff on LinkedIn goes well beyond that.

Leg End Reject · 02-08-2022 11:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119422053#Comment_119422053

LinkedIn is like a parallel universe alright, I'm amazed that people allow their name and picture to be associated with the drivel they write.

Cluedo Monopoly · 03-08-2022 11:34am

I don't use a lot of social media - Boards, Linkedin and Whatsapp (does that count?).

I have been using Linkedin since it started but it has become utterly disgusting. I only log in once every 2 months now. It's handy for networking etc but it has become so like Facebook (closed that account years ago).

The American MNC culture is all over it and it's sickening to read. The corporate dream nonsense. And loads of gobdaws getting 1:1s in some masters or MBA and thanking everyone except the family they neglected for 2 years to chase down the American dream. Wake up.

growleaves · 03-08-2022 11:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421913#Comment_119421913

Dishonest hype is a requirement for most job interviews.

Madeoface · 03-08-2022 11:55am

I left LinkedIn years ago. It was garbage then and garbage now.

I do laugh at it occasionally (during meetings with people I don't know and meet at corporate meetings, just to check if the people are real douches or not).

Then I play bullshit bingo by coming up with random corporate sounding shite like, 'I'll drive the bus on this great journey'.

My favourite one was in 30 rock, 'let's synergise backward overflow'. I used it at a meeting but nobody twigged the LinkedIn garbage I was adopting.

EOQRTL · 03-08-2022 12:03pm

Social welfare attempted to make me sign up to Linkedin years ago or lose my payment. In fairness to them that kind of intrusion into my private life had me getting a PAYE job in no time at all and signing off.

Strumms · 03-08-2022 12:04pm

The one that always confirms what a bunch of pricks inhabit it is the mandatory work team Christmas jumper photo… one lad with a beard will go the extra mile and put a few lights in said beard…. All looking smashingly delighted with themselves…

work social media…. Used be career development and networking site but… now work social media so they can all be delighted with themselves, because they have a job…with people…how fun…

04-08-2022 9:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119423309#Comment_119423309

It's reflecting how HR has become too. Personality and social ranking trumping hard work. I had to have it for a while - the relief of being able to deactivate it. Most of the people I was connected with on it are grand, but all it takes is that one or two whose likes of utter drivel show up on your feed

The insane amount of enthusiasm on LinkedIn

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