Brother Says I Can't Sit Next To Wife At Wedding

The OP is taking his cues from his parents - they are fine with being cut off from their entire family, even though this means their children do not have an extended family at all. They have apparently never shared the family idea of letting things go, accepting people's foibles, getting on with life without causing drama.

The OP is now going down the same route even though he lives on a different continent and doesn't even have to deal with day to day family issues. He will end up cut off from his siblings, and his own children will not know their Irish family.

OP, get over yourself, either go along with the wedding arrangements or don't go. Life is too short for this kind of navel gazing.

There's weddings and there's weddings and we've been to both types. The pretentious ones and the easy going events. At end of the day, the bride & groom (or their parents) decide as you say on the style of it. But they may also take account of their guests needs.

A set of walkie talkies would be the right job! " Are you OK at that table over". " Roger that, yes I think I'll try the beef, over"

Op see attached for the role of a groomsman - it gives a good rundown of whats expected. I dont think anyone meant to be harsh to you - it did sound being honest that you didnt appear to understand what a groomsman was. I hope you can get to sort this out to everyones satisfaction and have a wonderful day. Also I think your wife will be fine - it may even be a good opportunity for everyone to get to know her. Guests will understand that you are busy being a part of the wedding party and take her under their wing.

I can kind of see the OP's point. I mean I've never seen brothers and sisters who aren't in the bridal party sit at the top table. It's a bit much to put his wife sitting with friends of his parents. By right there should be a second table for brothers/sisters/in-laws and that's where she should be sitting.

Don't go, after all, the wedding doesn't revolve around you, apparently, so no one should mind.

I dont understand why they would put your son at the main table, thats bizarre to me.

But the solution is not to also bring your wife up, its to put your son back to her table.

It would also be bizzarre to have the wedding party +1 random person at the main table. Like where would she sit, in between all the groomsmen?

Your brother is bringing his girlfriend and I presume the bridemaids are bringing people, sit your family with them?

You made the point "I consider my wife to be part of my family"....I dont see the relevance? Its not a family table, its the bridal party table? Sure the priest will be there, is he family?

Seems like you are coming at this pre-chipped to be honest.

op i do think most people are considering family, its just in this case its not your family theyre concerned about seeing as its not your wedding.

sometimes traditions dont have much or any logical reasoning but people want to stick to them, having multiple groomsmen (or a wedding full stop tbh) might seem illogical to alot of people, but if thats your brother's choice then so be it.

also, its not uncommon for guests to not be too familiar with each other so your wife wont be on her own with that one. personally, im pretty shy and uncomfortable so i get that it might be a bit hard for her with new people, but once shes sat with a decent group of people - i.e similar ages etc - she'll be fine.

That's a stretch though. Nothing in the OP says anything like that.