Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Finally rang the gp this morning and they squeezed me in this afternoon. There's a new doctor, he's brilliant, really listened and understood, increased one of my meds and will see me again in a few weeks to see how I'm getting on. He'd done 6 months at the public mental health clinic I attend, and he's very familiar with the failings within that system. Still feel rubbish, but at least it's a move in the right direction.

I'm super lucky with my gp, and especially glad of them at times like this.

part and parcel of my own disorder unfortunately, id like to think im getting better with it

If you can, write them down on paper. It can help enormously to take away their power.

Valid points good! An awful lot of bullshit, lies and fake ness everywhere. It's good to have someone to clear the air.

My partner always hitting me with the truth. I'm just too worn down and exhausted to deal with it. Could do with 2 years to take a career break, try something else and sort my **** out.

Hi All,

Well I took a huge step and got myself a new full time job.

I start in 2 weeks time so that should at least get me out of the house more and keep my mind occupied.

Today I had to travel to the new job for a quick induction, It was the furthest I've travelled in nearly a year. The funny thing is the anxiety of it all is only hitting me now. I don't respond well to change though.

I'd been reading this guy's posts on and off for years, but dropped away for years too.

He writes very clearly and simply about things that cause and help with anxiety and depression.

And he never comes across as too preachy.

Check out the archives section to get to past posts.

I think it's important to switch off.

Really you mind is trying to keep up with the noise of the Internet/the System, trying for dopamine hits, etc etc etc etc and you're blaming yourself when you can't.

I've just been on LinkedIn for work search purposes, and Facebook to get rid of some stuff, on work MS Teams to get stuff reviewed and I'm miserable after it all.

And I've probably been confronted by 100 advertisements directly and indirectly in this time and self promotion bullshit telling me I'm inadequate and not good enough.

It's like one big comparison circus.

And one hyper competition.

People are going to burnout bad and much much earlier from all this. So, be kind to yourself and don't forget that most of it is a circus.

This is what I am trying to tell myself 😀

Every now and then I find myself overwhelmed by life, honestly. Too much of it makes me feel like an impostor. Today and yesterday were just a slog to get through, tbqh. I found myself being a bit of a s**t tbh. A lot of it's coinciding with stuff that happened months ago. And then some more stuff happened today.

I know most of it's in my head, but the worst thing is that I'm not in control of what I think. At times it feels like another external voice. Repeating the negative stuff I've heard my whole life.

Stay away from addictions if you have any problems in your life. They will make things much worse and take away options and time from your life.

Addictions fills your head full of noise and instead of addressing any problems you have clearly, you'll spin around in the addiction and withdrawal.

There are the obvious addictions. But even screen addiction, anger addiction, self deprecation, work, video game, negativity, social media ... addictions are insidious.

If you can, find a quiet space away from your normal environment and just sit. Even better if you can find a quiet cat or dog for non judgemental company.

The above is a note to self too !

This system feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. The **** politics!

Really tired of it all now....

ah its bullsh1t, it does very little in helping people at all, it even adds to their issues...

Has anyone any experience with a psychotic break/episode, don't know what to call it. I know we all have those dreams that we wake up the next morning, sometimes crying, feeling almost like they were real and you'd be, in my case like a bitch for the day because of this. This passing weekend I've experienced something I've never done before after having erratic sleep, it has taken me hours to piece together what is real, what has actually happened with what I've dreamed of and thought of. I'm afraid to say it to anyone irl in case they confirm it is actually psychotic 😪

I've had some experience of that. Back when I was put on medication for the second time (still on it too) my brain and body needed time to adjust, and I had some very 'visceral' dreams-genuinely felt as real as I'm typing this. (I can still get those, from time to time- but experience taught me they aren't real).

It was very strange-genuinely thought cousins had come to visit while I was in bed, and that they had come into my room and everything. Asked my parents about it, and they told me nobody had been here that day. Zilch.

Months after I thought I had recovered from Covid (I hadn't, and still may have long term Covid effects), my brother asked me to check on an animal. He's a farmer, and I was helping him out because Covid restrictions meant he couldn't hire help (at the time, anyways). Well, I went out to check, and as sure as I'm standing here, I thought there was a dead calf. Like, I genuinely believed there was a dead calf, that the cow had had a stillborn calf. (Clearly envisioned it-similar to how I can see my computer screen right in front of me). Well, had to tell him that his animal had miscarried. Then when I was getting ready to go to bed, he told me the cow had just delivered, and she'd had a healthy calf. There was no dead calf. I haven't had those 'breaks' with reality since then - the ones where, in broad daylight, I hallucinate things. But that did freak me out a bit. Until additional post-Covid made me realise that it was gonna take a LONG time to recover from the virus. Didn't think it would be years tho.

As you've stated, your sleep was erratic. That can genuinely mess with your mind. You may have experienced some kind of 'disassociation' with your mind or body. I doubt it's some kind of psychosis, since you're aware of it. Maybe to talk to your doctor or counsellor about it. I wouldn't be too worried about it, knowing sleep was erratic tells me this was your mind trying to 'compensate'.