The awfulness of the "Be kind" social media mob

19-08-2022 1:31pm #1

Some of the most vitriolic, spiteful bile is from this lot. They're not even above commenting on people's looks and speculating on their personal lives.

The recent death of actress Anne Heche has brought them out in their droves of late. It is possible to have compassion for Anne in terms of the struggles she experienced, while also acknowledging the circumstances of her death (dangerous driving, being under the influence). She crashed into a house and destroyed it, and people are so quick to handwave the experience of the woman who lived in that house - "The insurance will cover it", as if the insurance can replace all personal possessions. This was a comment I made to such a thread - nothing else, just that the insurance won't cover everything - and I got "That woman has more compassion in her little finger than you have in your whole body". For saying that the insurance won't replace everything - I didn't say one word about Anne. Then more generally there are the usual generic inanities like "I suppose you're perfect" when nobody (except probably them) thinks they're perfect, and we're hardly talking about mere imperfection here. "I suppose you never made a mistake" - a mistake is locking yourself out, or leaving your concert ticket at home.

These people come across as kinda sociopathic. There's an incredible venom to them. The really aggressive "What about the homeless?" lot seem like they're not caring people at all. It's just a stick they use to beat with. "Don't judge" types are extremely judgemental.

It's purely performative, and it's absolutely toxic.

osarusan · 19-08-2022 1:38pm

Death to people who post videos of themselves hugging the homeless or similar.

Strumms · 19-08-2022 1:40pm

‘ be kind ‘ aka…. “We can say what the fück we like, tear people down, defame them, libel them, bully them, harass them..

but as soon as they themselves are challenged, attacked, questioned or called out, they play tap the ‘be kind’ sign 😅

absolute dregs of society 🙂

growleaves · 19-08-2022 1:43pm

It was Ellen DeGeneras who first started saying "Be kind to yourselves and each other" at the end of every show.

Cancelled when it turned out she was a domestic abuser (beating seven shades of sh*te out of her lesbian lover), bullying her staff and failing to pay them money owed.

It is the catchphrase of hard-hearted phonies spreading a woke doctrine who want to be seen as compassionate.

19-08-2022 1:53pm

The people who advertise (signatures, profile headlines, etc) #BeKind or similar, are usually the most toxic, intolerant, and narrowminded people I ever see. There's quite a few on boards, or any online space. They present themselves as passively encouraging a more tolerant society, however actively, they're anything but that themselves. The standards they apply to others are never applied to themselves.

Double standards are the rule with modern society. The hypocrisy is rather telling on most fronts, and the moment anyone points that out, they jump headlong into the victim category where they're not responsible anything they say. Which results with them shutting out any contrary opinions/viewpoints as being offensive, and unreasonable. All the while, the continue to spout their intolerant views.

Meh. Horrible people best challenged on their positions. Ignoring them has only allowed them to multiply.

Aglomerado · 19-08-2022 2:04pm

I had a friend who would do sleep outs for the homeless etc, but only if they were going to be photographed in the paper.

He also put a review of a local hotel on trip advisor but his review had nothing to do with the service/ staff/ food etc. It was all about himself and how he'd overheard an elderly couple in the bar talking about a big wedding anniversary they had coming up. So he bought them a bottle of champagne and made this his review of the hotel.

Behind the scenes he is an drunk and an abusive husband, an abusive friend (which is why I say I "had") and won't get a job even though he is qualified and experienced in various areas.

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 2:16pm

If I see #Bekind I assume they're an asshole. Looking at what they post only confirms that opinion.

For some here it's just part of their shtick, the same is probably true in other corners of the internet.

I'd also be willing to bet that the posters who preach tolerance are serial reporters of posts they disagree with.

riffmongous · 19-08-2022 2:16pm

"This was a comment I made to such a thread - nothing else, just that the insurance won't cover everything - and I got "That woman has more compassion in her little finger than you have in your whole body". For saying that the insurance won't replace everything - I didn't say one word about Anne. "

Not a great example of what you are complaining about tbh

Floppybits · 19-08-2022 2:35pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493678#Comment_119493678

I always find that these people who are telling people to "be Kind", "love God", "don't do this" are always the ones to watch, as most times they are the ones doing exactly what they are telling you not too do. We have seen it in this country with the Clergy and the charities, so much so that these charlatans have cast a doubt over the charities and we have seen what has happened with the church. Is there nothing to be said for treating people with a bit of respect and having a few manners but not having to tell the world about it. There is a saying "You have to watch the quiet ones", well I think "You have to watch the load ones even more".

19-08-2022 2:38pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493889#Comment_119493889

Why? "Kind" people were just dismissing the experience of the woman whose home and possessions were destroyed, and I merely said the insurance won't replace everything (most people have personal, sentimental possessions with an emotional value attached) and that was it. I didn't say anything critical of Anne Heche - I didn't say anything at all about her. And that commenter, in response to my ONE comment, said that the woman who lost her home and possessions has more compassion in her little finger than I have in my entire body.

So how did you come to your conclusion? It's a perfect example of what I'm talking about. And that horrible, nasty person is a perfect example of the kind of individual I'm talking about.

walshb · 19-08-2022 2:42pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058259471/the-awfulness-of-the-be-kind-social-media-mob

A bunch of what Holden Caulfield would call phonies!

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 2:42pm

No one would just shrug their shoulders if their home was destroyed. There's a huge amount of stress and upheaval involved in the logistics of contacting the insurance company, sourcing temporary accommodation and replacing your possessions alone. Not everything can be replaced on a like for like basis either.

walshb · 19-08-2022 2:49pm

Hugely stressful event for the homeowner, and if was me I’d be fooking disgusted with the person who did it. You can have compassion and also be raging mad at someone’s actions. It’s called being human.

growleaves · 19-08-2022 2:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119493994#Comment_119493994

Yes and Jimmy Saville as well was a big religious charity person!

Jesus Christ told people to "give in secret" as he was warning against a religious form of showboating. People would go into the temples and pray loudly to show off how holy they were. Nothing changes.

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 2:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494090#Comment_119494090

And yet the #Bekind types can't see that. It's beyond farcical.

Floppybits · 19-08-2022 2:52pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494036#Comment_119494036

This has to be one of the worst things are person can go through outside the death of loved ones. Yep a lot of the material things like the TV, fridge whatever can be replaced but there are things like photo Albums (I know, I know) or heirlooms passed down that just cannot be replaced and that can be more traumatic than anything else. We have seen what happens when some people lose their phones and have sentimental pictures on it. This shouldn't be dismissed with a shrug of the shoulders.

19-08-2022 2:56pm

The "thoughts and prayers" brigade. I abhor them and their self righteous attempts at compassion which is motivated by positive attention on themselves. See also self proclamations of goodness, 'I do so much for others that I've no time for myself'.

I am wary of anyone who isn't capable of owning their whole selves. Sometimes kindness is given because it fills something in the giver rather than it being a sincere attempt to help another person.

I see it a lot on here aswell. Someone will post about a difficult time they are going through and receive plenty of 'how terrible'. Then in the same post the responders will go on to talk about themselves. Doesn't matter as long as they are seen to be supportive.

Hate it.

If you do care why not send a pm? Even if it's just to say I saw your post and wanted to acknowledge it and wish you well.

Stephen_Maturin · 19-08-2022 3:18pm

Agreed, the #BeKind crowd are generally incredibly caustic, puritanical and intolerant people ironically.

It’s more of a performative thing for them - what’s important to them is simply the appearance to others that they are “kind”, rather than kindness for kindness’ sake.

They clothe themselves in moral superiority. Maybe even believe it themselves, if only because they can’t be honest that they’re just as flawed and prone to err as everyone else.

Funnily enough it’s with people that have made a mistake, said the wrong thing perhaps, that they pursue with a burning passion, failing to show any of their supposed “kindness” at all. Again this is all performative, joining the mob lest you be thought to be part of the other side.

Jequ0n · 19-08-2022 3:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494010#Comment_119494010

It sounds like you dared to discuss the situation instead of expressing your condolences and hypocritical RIP wishes.

The eternally offended take this very seriously and will always accuse you of lack of empathy.

StevenToast · 19-08-2022 3:32pm

Ryan Tubridy is the king of the "be kind" brigade....

Hes the biggest fraud of them all.....

19-08-2022 3:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494036#Comment_119494036

The woman reportedly said initially that she had lost everything - probably had to rein that in because of the bullies.

Yes, imagine your home going up in flames, narrowly escaping being killed, and all of the difficulties after that. I'm not saying nobody gives a sh1t about her, in fairness, but just the tone deafness in "The insurance will cover that". And she has pets whom she cherishes - not easy to find temporary accommodation, and how many days of work would she have lost? The commute, car parking, proximity to other places besides work. A life in upheaval.

Also, I don't believe for a second that there would be the same empathy towards an unknown person who did the same as Anne did. She had a difficult life (as do many) but only she made that choice.

CGI_Livia_Soprano · 19-08-2022 3:50pm

I happen to have #bekind in my signature, and I have often been the victim of the original poster’s jibes regarding the same so I think that I am qualified to speak on this matter.

I am an extremely kind person, my partner and our children worship the ground I walk on and I theirs. My partner and I also volunteer extensively for various charitable organisations.

I have been reading this discussion forum for a few years and I have noticed a shift towards the alt-right in the posters’ demographics.

Whether it’s because that they are soppy-headed useful idiots who swallow all of the propaganda from the snowflake rightwing brigade, or simply out of touch boomers railing against time passing them by, it is impossible for any neutral observer to deny that the demonisation of marginalised groups is rampant on boards.ie.

Being kind means sticking up to bullies. Bullies such as people who mock a certain female comedian’s appearance, people who want to platform Holocaust deniers, people who trivialise the experience of refugees fleeing war, people who deadname transsexuals, people who pour scorn on immigrants.

When I see this happening I will comment on in and confront the original poster. When a poster highlights his own hypocrisy (for example being extremely anti-immigration into Ireland while daydreaming out loud about emigrating themselves (ref: Klaz and Strumms)) then I will point this out and mock them for it.

Being kind doesn’t not mean rolling over and capitulating to loudmouths. I’m not some weak, milquetoast, civil servant type who needs to pretend that “there are two sides to every story” or play rhetorical, semantic games asking “of course you don’t mean ALL homosexuals.” When I see someone acting the cünt about immigrants, refugees, travellers, Africans, gays, trans people, women, rape victims, Jews etc then I will be kind to them and point it out. I don’t need to pretend to respect your point of view when you’re peddling hate speech.

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 3:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494390#Comment_119494390

Imagine sitting down with an insurer assessor to try to catalogue a lifetime's worth of possessions? Everything from high value goods down to your knickers and socks, all the while just owning the clothes on your back.

How long would it take to demolish the wrecked house and rebuild? How long to finish that house then? Rooms in houses are usually kitted out with the bare essentials, but it takes years in most cases to add the finishing touches unless you go into into a shop and buy stuff for the sake of it.

Sentimental items are lost forever, and many of these have very little monetary value but are priceless to the owner.

What about the shock and panic when it happened? What about the stress that follows?

It takes an alarming lack of empathy to be incapable of acknowledging that.

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 4:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494401#Comment_119494401

I'll give you one thing, that's comedy gold, just a tad over-egged mind.

maccored · 19-08-2022 4:11pm

lads do you not see the irony in posting pretty vile posts about people who you class as coming out with the 'most vitriolic, spiteful bile'?

is_that_so · 19-08-2022 4:13pm

Know very little about this but it seems it all started out as an anti-bullying campaign in education. I always find such things are more effective when people do rather than make catchphrases or hashtags out of them.

CGI_Livia_Soprano · 19-08-2022 4:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494519#Comment_119494519

The thing is that so many people want to post vile comments with impunity, and they consider any opposition to that as an “unkindness.”

Like I mentioned before my signature has bekind in it and that is often misinterpreted to mean that I have to “be kind” to people who post absolutely disgusting remarks about marginalised groups.

These right-wing commentators (of which this site is flooded) just think everything has to go their own way, all the time.

19-08-2022 4:17pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494436#Comment_119494436

"There's worse off than you" to someone when they're going through a really tough time is gas-lighting toxic positivity. And I'm someone who believes in having perspective usually. But at times people just need support - not lecturing - and it's ok if they just feel bad, even if they're not e.g. living in a war zone. Loss is devastating - not just death (obviously that's the worst) but a breakup, a friendship ending, and absolutely losing one's home.

Leg End Reject · 19-08-2022 4:25pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494539#Comment_119494539

Have you ever considered writing Comedy? Think Ross O'Carroll Kelly, but as a bleeding heart leftie, rather than a spoilt brat.

19-08-2022 4:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494519#Comment_119494519

Wouldn't be a Boards thread without contrarianism. 😊

Which pretty vile comments?

19-08-2022 4:29pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119494491#Comment_119494491

Yes, I'm obviously not referring to people who have #bekind in their signature for the laugh. Only those who genuinely have no self awareness and think they're kind. I don't recall making a jibe at that poster either, or engaging with them in any way.

The awfulness of the "Be kind" social media mob

Comments