Colleague undermining me/ Need to be more assertive

Just learn to zone out rants, even thinking about what you want for dinner will help you do that! Ask questions when they complain to show you are keen to learn. Polite but firm is about as assertive as you need to be and that way you can build up a professional persona. We don't always like the people we work with but we can still work with them. Sounds like that person has a lot of resentment in them. As for moving job well you should try get to six months and learn anything you can from this job.

There are always going to be annoying colleagues but indeed this one seems a bit over the top. Sounds like they have some super insecure **** going on with themselves and they are projecting that onto you. Stand up for yourself, they are a colleague, not your boss, but always be polite. If they repeatedly give you ****, ignore it, and log it later (like on your phone, in a notepad or whatever), in that way if this turns into an issue where you have to go to your manager, you have a detailed breakdown of it - very hard to argue with that. I know you don't want to stir **** in the new job, but it's excellent ammunition to have if it comes to a head.

As for looking for another job, that's fine, most people don't leave their jobs, they leave asshole bosses or co-workers. Obviously if you can stick it for 6 months that's a good minimum, and also if you do switch, you can say you worked hard in X company, but the working atmosphere was not good. In that way your new employer or interviewer should get the impression the issue wasn't you.

'I sit and take this and continue with my work'

This is a contributing problem. Well done on speaking up for yourself before. But by saying nothing in general or not being assertive, we let people treat us anyway they want.

I has a colleague who told me I should go from a full time to part time, I was speechless and didn't speak up for myself. Another situation I had a supervisor who used to speak down to me, eventually I got the courage to wait for my next opportunity and respectfully said to him 'don't speak to me like that', I had to say it to him three times as he was getting angrier, he then calmed down and apologised and we got on great after. Another colleague spoke to me super disrespectfully, I assertively tried to speak to him aswell but it didn't make a difference. Sometimes you decided whether some people are worth the effort or sometimes fight flight and freeze kick in. But it sounds like this person is making you miserable and you can look at it 2 ways, as you're already considering leaving, what do you have to lose by speaking up for yourself? The other option is say nothing and get out of there ASAP. However there's a lot of learning to come from this by opting for the former. Because trust me, more then likely you're going to run into another colleague like your present one. But ultimately its your life and your decision.

Fairplay and if you could do a practice run with someone even better. Try prepare yourself for possible outcomes

Sorry to hear that, good on you for being proactive. What I meant was practice a role play of assertiveness with someone you trust like family, friends etc. So that way when the opportunity arises, you might feel a bit more confident/prepared

Putting you down to makes themselves feel better. Someone above mentions insecure, maybe even a bit threatened by somebody else coming in. Can’t be much use if they stand there doing nothing but telling you they could do it better.

Could go down the route of taking their crap like water off a ducks back and ignoring them. They’ll eventually get tired and their attempts will become a bit pathetic the better you get with experience. Would probably take this approach but it’s affecting you and you reacted already to some of it. Possibly go to your supervisor next time it happens and state that this person has been doing x,y&z over the last number of weeks and you just really need to focus on the work. Wouldn’t be worrying about being seen as a trouble-maker if already looking for work elsewhere.

how long has your colleague been there? Maybe they are genuinely just trying to help a new person but don’t realise it’s coming over as over bearing. I think you should have a coffee with them and thank them for their help, tell them that they obviously know the job well and that you’ve appreciated their help to get going, tell them you learn best by doing the work yourself and now that you’re doing ok, you want to work away yourself and you’ll let them know if you come across anything that’s new or that you need help with.

i’d try that approach first and see how it goes with your colleague. And, don’t be stressing yourself out, it’s not worth it.

OP as others have said if you continue to take it they will continue to do it. It is extremely hard to be assertive in work if you are naturally quiet. Practice some stock phrases in the mirror, in the shower , out walking, so you have them at the ready.....

Regardless of what it is she says to you, whether its that she will be quicker, or stop touching your face, dont address what she actually has said :

"Would you mind not standing there talking to me, I need to continue with this and get it done"

"I am busy here Mary, have you got nothing to do, surely there is something that you could be doing to help out instead of standing there doing nothing, we are all busy here Mary."

"Mary again you are standing there instead of helping out doing jobs that need to be done"

"John, Mary has nothing to go again, have you got some work to keep her busy, she is standing watching me working, Again"

You get the gist, she'll soon leave you alone.

Decent advice. Don’t waste time logging their ****.

ignore. It will pass. They will move on.. chances are most people think they are a moron…..these people will slowly reveal themselves to you…….as long as you don’t do anything moronic