Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

Gremlinertia · 20-08-2022 5:25am

It's quite surreal, i'm possibly overly empathetic, and my inner critic's voice is one of the strongest things in my mind.. Even as i type this that part of me is roaring that this is, or will sound, stupid to everyone

RabbleRouser2k · 20-08-2022 8:14am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119496469#Comment_119496469

Same. I'll try to be empathetic. Try to be optimistic for other people. But when it comes to me, and my own foibles, I'm the worst critic. I belabour everything. Everything I say, everything I do, every mistake. To the point where it goes from unhealthy to venomous. Molehills become mountains, and minor tasks feel like I've been told to build a castle and have it finished by tomorrow.

SuperBowserWorld · 22-08-2022 1:10pm

I think it's important to switch off.

Really you mind is trying to keep up with the noise of the Internet/the System, trying for dopamine hits, etc etc etc etc and you're blaming yourself when you can't.

I've just been on LinkedIn for work search purposes, and Facebook to get rid of some stuff, on work MS Teams to get stuff reviewed and I'm miserable after it all.

And I've probably been confronted by 100 advertisements directly and indirectly in this time and self promotion bullshit telling me I'm inadequate and not good enough.

It's like one big comparison circus.

And one hyper competition.

People are going to burnout bad and much much earlier from all this. So, be kind to yourself and don't forget that most of it is a circus.

This is what I am trying to tell myself 😀

BohsCeltic · 23-08-2022 7:03pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119483217#Comment_119483217

All is good thanks. Hope everything is good on your end too

RabbleRouser2k · 24-08-2022 3:04am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119505068#Comment_119505068

Every now and then I find myself overwhelmed by life, honestly. Too much of it makes me feel like an impostor. Today and yesterday were just a slog to get through, tbqh. I found myself being a bit of a s**t tbh. A lot of it's coinciding with stuff that happened months ago. And then some more stuff happened today.

I know most of it's in my head, but the worst thing is that I'm not in control of what I think. At times it feels like another external voice. Repeating the negative stuff I've heard my whole life.

SuperBowserWorld · 28-08-2022 8:25am

Feeling really anxious at the moment.

Lots of big problems I can't solve.

Graces7 · 28-08-2022 11:24am

i Live as peacefully as can be these days. But still the outsideworld intrudes with a great BANG. Or a niggly mouse... These days my health etc is at such a low ebb that i mostly ignore things but then get suddenly caught in the old habit it thinking we HAVE to respond and HAVE to react and reply. W We don't and sooner rather than later and if it is not a vital concern then "let time pass" is a mighty maxim,. We tend to think we HAVE to reply to email as soon as it comes in.. Let it wait a while.... tune out..

Bassfish · 28-08-2022 12:54pm

First time posting here. Never felt the need before. Never had a mental health problem up to this year (age 38). Anxiety hit me like a ton of bricks in January this year and I've been battling it since. I'm on meds since February. Was hoping to taper off them this month but had quite bad spell recently so probably not the best time. I did CBT for a few months and found it great but it was was just too expensive to keep up.

Work is a big trigger for me. I work in a pretty chaotic, high stress environment and most of the time I'm pretty chilled but it definitely builds up and boils over for me.

My symptoms start in my stomach, cramps and flutters and feeling ill. Followed usually by intense dread and worry something awful is about to happen. I've gone 90 minutes without even being able to speak.

I've found the only thing that helps in the moment is deep breathing. I've been doing the Wim Hof exercises and some other ones my therapist gave me. What really helps me though is physical activity, the more intense the better, which isn't easy for me as I'm quite overweight. Over the summer I've taken up sea swimming which works brilliantly. The shock of the cold water and the need to breath steadily knocks the anxiety right out of me and there's a euphoric feeling afterwards. My bouts of anxiety can be linked to alcohol too. The 'fear' after drinking turns on to full on anxiety so I've had to reign that in a lot.

When this started I was focused on getting 'cured' and getting rid of it like an infection but I'm now realising it's probably something I will need to manage and monitor for the foreseeable like diabetes.

Anyway, hope everyone here is doing OK and keeping the chin up👍

SuperBowserWorld · 28-08-2022 1:44pm

Stay away from addictions if you have any problems in your life. They will make things much worse and take away options and time from your life.

Addictions fills your head full of noise and instead of addressing any problems you have clearly, you'll spin around in the addiction and withdrawal.

There are the obvious addictions. But even screen addiction, anger addiction, self deprecation, work, video game, negativity, social media ... addictions are insidious.

If you can, find a quiet space away from your normal environment and just sit. Even better if you can find a quiet cat or dog for non judgemental company.

The above is a note to self too !

Graces7 · 29-08-2022 6:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119532835#Comment_119532835

Wonderful post...Propped up abed in the blissful silence here with a cat at my side who wakes now and then and reaches out a paw to stroke my arm..

apache · 29-08-2022 9:36pm

This system feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall. The **** politics!

Really tired of it all now....

Graces7 · 30-08-2022 5:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119496469#Comment_119496469

But you do not sound stupid ever! You are one of the wisest of people...maybe because of your humility,,,A rare quality. Thank you for it.

Reminds me of TS Eliot .. " Be at peace with your thoughts and visions.." ( Murder in the Cathedral) If we find that peace...

Wanderer78 · 30-08-2022 10:12am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119539460#Comment_119539460

ah its bullsh1t, it does very little in helping people at all, it even adds to their issues...

Gremlinertia · 30-08-2022 10:22am

In to see psychologist in a few minutes and so many people have taken up space in my brain with minor crap it's going to be hard to be productive

Graces7 · 30-08-2022 11:16am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119532835#Comment_119532835

My immediate thought was..what is the difference between a routine of self care that includes meds and addictions? One can slide into the other

Graces7 · 30-08-2022 11:23am

Struggling just now. My age is beginning to sap as it is bound to do.. I have just spent an hour dealing with official paperwork and forms ad am literally shaking/trembling with the effort. That is the ME drain... I know it well but things HAVE to be done or the money stops!..

This is why we get misdiagnosed so often

laoisgem · 30-08-2022 8:41pm

Has anyone any experience with a psychotic break/episode, don't know what to call it. I know we all have those dreams that we wake up the next morning, sometimes crying, feeling almost like they were real and you'd be, in my case like a bitch for the day because of this. This passing weekend I've experienced something I've never done before after having erratic sleep, it has taken me hours to piece together what is real, what has actually happened with what I've dreamed of and thought of. I'm afraid to say it to anyone irl in case they confirm it is actually psychotic 😪

nothing · 30-08-2022 11:07pm

So sorry to hear that laoisgem, wish I had some advice.

RabbleRouser2k · 31-08-2022 1:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119544650#Comment_119544650

I've had some experience of that. Back when I was put on medication for the second time (still on it too) my brain and body needed time to adjust, and I had some very 'visceral' dreams-genuinely felt as real as I'm typing this. (I can still get those, from time to time- but experience taught me they aren't real).

It was very strange-genuinely thought cousins had come to visit while I was in bed, and that they had come into my room and everything. Asked my parents about it, and they told me nobody had been here that day. Zilch.

Months after I thought I had recovered from Covid (I hadn't, and still may have long term Covid effects), my brother asked me to check on an animal. He's a farmer, and I was helping him out because Covid restrictions meant he couldn't hire help (at the time, anyways). Well, I went out to check, and as sure as I'm standing here, I thought there was a dead calf. Like, I genuinely believed there was a dead calf, that the cow had had a stillborn calf. (Clearly envisioned it-similar to how I can see my computer screen right in front of me). Well, had to tell him that his animal had miscarried. Then when I was getting ready to go to bed, he told me the cow had just delivered, and she'd had a healthy calf. There was no dead calf. I haven't had those 'breaks' with reality since then - the ones where, in broad daylight, I hallucinate things. But that did freak me out a bit. Until additional post-Covid made me realise that it was gonna take a LONG time to recover from the virus. Didn't think it would be years tho.

As you've stated, your sleep was erratic. That can genuinely mess with your mind. You may have experienced some kind of 'disassociation' with your mind or body. I doubt it's some kind of psychosis, since you're aware of it. Maybe to talk to your doctor or counsellor about it. I wouldn't be too worried about it, knowing sleep was erratic tells me this was your mind trying to 'compensate'.

laoisgem · 31-08-2022 7:17am

Thanks so much @RabbleRouser2k you've really put my mind at ease.

RabbleRouser2k · 31-08-2022 11:38am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119545942#Comment_119545942

No problem. But consult your GP or counsellor if you're worried. Disassociation can be very scary, and sometimes set off by stress.

Graces7 · 31-08-2022 11:42am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119544650#Comment_119544650

Rest. It is a great healer.. Be kind to you.. rest, do something YOU enjoy.... if you are physically able to something that will tire your body... Go for a LONG walk..dig the garden, (I cannot do those things so I came here or knit to youtube dramas) Let time pass... Be a vegetable if that helps!

laoisgem · 31-08-2022 1:30pm

Yes I've been putting it down to stress, I wrote off my car on the 12th and my aunt passed away yesterday evening, after being in the hospital for 4 weeks. I have a telephone appointment with the mental health team in the next week or two so will mention it to them as it is quite scary when it happens.

Graces7 · 01-09-2022 9:48am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119547666#Comment_119547666

That is enough to seriously disturb anyone .... I hope the contact with the team helps

Graces7 · 04-09-2022 5:17am

Lemon balm... Wondering if anyone else uses it? I find a few leaves help relaxation and sleep... NB I am not on any meds except codeine... there are esome excellent info websites on this herb that will speak re interactions

I have two plants here . and a real help..

RabbleRouser2k · 05-09-2022 4:15am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119567989#Comment_119567989

For me it was those herbal teas which helped a little. There are a few different herbal remedies you can get that help your sleep. That and lavender oil, sprinkled on sheets or your pillow can help too.

I tend to try and avoid something like a sleeping pill, even the over the counter ones, Tends to make me feel like I can't sleep enough or I haven't slept enough.

Graces7 · 05-09-2022 6:54am

Just had the best and deepest sleep in weeks after a spray of lemon balm.. I had forgotten about it, I feel zonked now as so often after a really good sleep..

SuperBowserWorld · 05-09-2022 12:02pm

Can't think or focus on things that need to be done.

Too many big problems that have been dragging on for years, me and my family, with no resolution in sight. Just this week there was some incredible good news and incredible bad news at the same time. You couldn't make it up.

I'm bitter, angry, anxious, depressed, miserable, extremely worried.

Living like a recluse. Hate meeting people as I've nothing positive to share unless I pretend everything is great. I can't do that anymore.

I get no enjoyment from books, movies, tv, video games anymore.

Any time I'm off work I just sit shell shocked.

I got prescribed medication, but it has some side effect that I can't risk. I'll need to find an alternative. But not sure how it'll help. I can still eat, sleep, exercise, work. I don't want to risk these.

I've been to therapy once, but it didn't help. Obviously once is not enough, so I'll see if I can find someone else.

Sardonicat · 05-09-2022 1:09pm

@SuperBowserWorld I'm really sorry you are going through these troubles. I see you have said that therapy didn't work for you before. I'm wondering if you could try a different type of therapist it could be helpful to have someone you can talk through the different issues you are dealing with, with. With the right listener, it can be very beneficial to talk these things out so they don't overwhelm you quite so much.

I hope things start looking up for you soon.

Graces7 · 05-09-2022 6:46pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119573619#Comment_119573619

Just hang on in there, day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute. I remember tiimes like that. Looking at the clock and saying, IN half an hour it will be better,, then when it wasnlt.. IN half an hour it will be better.. reducing it to small portions, ... Not facing a whole day .. Just half an hour at a time..I used to knit or sew or just stare at the clock watching for the half hour to pass... new problems emerge but they too will pass,, With thee in spirit..

Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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