Not asked to be godmother

The disappointment is understandable, but will be a great aunty I’m sure.

I had friends say to lately that they would have loved me to be their daughters godfather ……. But I thought the same as you if that that was the case, they could have chose me but they didn’t so why say it!

I really think that godparents shouldn't be family. You're already an aunt, that's a special role. Don't deprive the child of having more special people close to them.

I've never heard of that in my life. What if the couple aren't married??? I have 9 niblings and only two of their parents were married before they were born. And now that I think of it, neither of my other two siblings had a best man and maid of honour when they did get married.

Anyway, OP, without knowing who they did pick and why, it's kind of impossible for anyone here to say whether you have grounds to be upset. My own take is that I'd be massively relieved not to be asked, but I don't particularly like children and I'm avowedly non-religious, so possibly in a very different situation to you.

That is indeed the traditonal way, in fairness the tradition was also that the couple were married 😁 so that's where it comes from so it's probably an age thing, my godparents are my parents best man & bridesmaid who also happen to be my aunt/uncle on each side.

It's a nothing meaning sort of thing these days, most people are not religious enough to technically have the role as it is prescribed (myself included!) and the best advice I ever got but too late was just be godparent to one child, don't accept other requests/invitations. Then again I am useless at remembering birthdays etc so am not good godparent material as my several godchildren can attest to!

However OP you haven't said who is godmother, is the godfather from the father's side as such as in his friend/relation? If so then baby's mother may get preference in choosing godmother, either way I doubt the final say so was with your brother! So basically don't take it to heart.

Did they ask somebody else, or just not ask anybody? If it's the latter, as they are not religious, it's hard to complain.

But then I don't know why your brother would have said what he said.

Often the decision is political. Often one person from man's side, another from women's side. Factors such as who can make it on the day can come into it.

The reality long term is it makes no difference to child nor person picked. My kids have no idea who godparents are. If they did it would only be due to presents. Godparents or not different friends or family have different involvement in children's lives mainly due to them having children of similar age or a real interest in visiting our house or us visiting theirs while children are with us.

For child number two typically the politics continues and two different people are chosen often those who may have no interest in children but just to try keep both sides somewhat happy. Again the people picked may have no involvement in the child's life, maybe even living abroad.

If you are really Catholic religion might come into it but I know plenty of non religious or gay Catholic godparents.

Tradition predates babies outside of marriage though. Tradition would also have had christening gown made from wedding dress and top tier of wedding cake being christening cake.

I think usually now the mother chooses the godmother and father chooses the godfather that's why maybe you didn't get the job. Now as well though there can be two godmothers instead of a godfather.

who did they ask?

Without knowing who you were 'snubbed' for it is impossible to say really. What is the relationship of the GF and GM to the parents? Do you have a brother that was picked to be GF and the GM is special to the Mother?