Do you ever feel like getting rid of all your friends?

Welcome to your late 20s to mid thirties. 👋 people drift apart when marriage and kids takes over. Mostly because most are exhausted and older due to living 2 lives, work life and family life. The rest is squeezed in unfortunately.

Do what you wanna do.

As I'm feeling in the mood,maybe not you, but I have a hankering to listen to Denis learys song. And yes I am.

Your friend is your pocket.

I've one good quality friend, the type of lad who'll tell you to your face when he thinks your making a mess while also celebrating your successes without trying to "bring you down" if you know what I mean.

The rest only need me when it's handy for them, I don't reach out anymore and they only reach out when they either need something or want info or advice on something.

I've recently realised how valuable my time is to me and how much I enjoy just doing my own thing in my little spare time. I've dropped pretty much all the things I've being doing that I don't want to do and trying to keep shite friendships on life support is one of them.

I'd be 100% sure having no friends whatsoever is better than having bad ones.

They think highly of you too...

You don't have to "dump" your friends but you can just gradually drift away a bit if they don't fulfill your requirements. I think "friendship" has become commoditised in the modern world what with facebook and social media, so there is alot of stuff like "Me doing this with my besties" etc , but at the end of the day its very superficial and not that real or fulfilling.

Thats why pubs and that sort of setting is actually a good way of turning up or down the sort of acquaintance you want, you can gravitate to the type of people that chime with you. You are not doing any big commitment or anything just going to the pub for a drink. Thats why Irish pubs became famous because they were basically open forums that anyone could join in , exclusivity and cliques were frowned upon. Unfortunately we are losing alot of this now

Why don’t you watch the documentary about it?

Maybe that's their excuse for getting rid of you op? 😂

Joking aside happens to everyone at some stage, life gets in the way but don't get rid of your friends, it's easy to drift apart but you never know when you might need them 😁

If you ever think somthing is wrong with all your friends, then something is wrong with you!

I've talked to my wife several times about this - I have several groups of friends, a couple of those groups go back to my teens and when we get together we still all enjoy each other's company and maintain similar interests (music being the main one that unites almost all of my solid friend groups). I'm someone who'll often organise nights out and it can be difficult to get them out sometimes, but many of them would never suggest anything ever.

I have one friend who I met over 15 years ago from a band I was in; we really were two peas from the same pod, agreed on so many things and had similar attitudes and outlook, we went to tonnes of gigs over the years and even travelled abroad for a few too. He doesn't live in Dublin but a few years back he just started to drift away (and not just from me), we still keep in touch but it's almost impossible get him out for a beer. It saddens me sometimes and especially because we keep in touch is via messaging apps which I know is the modern way but I hate it; life is short and while there's absolutely a functional aspect to this type to communication it's a terribly impersonal way to keep in touch with someone I feel and especially so the older I get.

When I think about my brothers and other older males I know, many of them no longer have any friends at all. All of this together has led my wife and I to conclude that many men are simply crap at maintaining friendships once they "settle down" (we have kids. mortgage etc. too so that's no excuse as far as I'm concerned).

I think people overuse some words. Friend is one of them (and love is the other major one). Very few people have actual friends, but everyone has a few or a lot of acquaintances. I can count on one hand the number of people outside of my family I would call a friend. I'm unsocial in general, so have very few friends, but the few I have I believe I can count on, and vice versa. The great thing about my group is that we all know we have our own crap to be dealing with, so don't lump it on each other. They're the true friends imo.

Yeah, I don't reach out, but as someone else said above, the phone works both ways.

Friends or customers?

I have a gang of friends that I have been friends with since school/college. We are in our late 30ths now. Last year 5 of us got together and went away for a few days. Left the wives gf kids behind. Friends are very important to me anyway. One is seriously sick at the moment and im honestly devastated over it.

Could be that if they haven't reached the same milestones as you they feel a bit lesser maybe?

Sorry I don't get you? Fwiw, the friend I referred to has hit many of the same milestones as me also; we got married and had kids at a similar time, bought our houses not too far apart, both of us have good careers etc.

Liked this a while back from The New Yorker

Sure, Jordan.

I’ve got friends from various stages of my life. Sure, I don’t see the guys I grew up with that often but we’re still in touch. I still meet people I worked with in previous jobs.

I’d see friends from school and college, fairly, regularly. It’s just not that easy to get out as much when kids come along. Although, you do see tend to see them at kid’s birthday parties etc.

For me, it’s about not putting too much “pressure” on things. People will get out when they can. I wouldn’t be, actively, cutting people out unless they turned weird, or toxic. Something I haven’t encountered since my teens.

I live in the country so things can be a bit quiet! 2 of my close friends emigrated to different continents, 1 moved across the country and I see him about once a year. 4th friend we just abruptly drifted apart. So I now have no friends really.

I've 2 good Dublin friends but we only meet every so often to do specific things. I'm in a couple of sports clubs which is grand to meet them but they are really only friends for training and the odd social night.

I've now accepted that when you are in your 30s, that's how it is. I think I'm going to be forced to take up golf just to get that casual male friendship and a pint thing back

I'm introverted by nature. Added to this I'm not the biggest fan of other people as they tend to annoy me greatly.

I have a small circle of close friends.