Work colleague contacting me during time off

Just ignore.

They are obviously more invested in the friendship than you are.

Some people are more intense than others.

Just ignore the out of office contact or reply with an emoji (emoji replies shuts conversation down in a polite way)

She sounds like an absolute freak, id just ignore…. “ let me know when you get to the hotel “ is somewhat of a weird, stalkerish message…

” listen, enjoy when you have time, give us a shout and let me know how you are getting on, ok, enjoy “. That would be somewhat more appropriate message…

I had a colleague who I’d get messages from regarding work stuff once or twice a month, if you were just sitting in front of the tv it didn’t matter but once he was looking for advice while I was queuing to check in at the airport… that was the last time.

There is a world of difference between her and your boss messaging you. A huge difference.

What I don't understand is why you are connected on Facebook if you don't actually want her to be messaging you. If you don't want contact outside of work then why accept that friend request?

Either way, there is no need for drama. If you don't want to respond to people outside of work then just don't respond, if they ask why then just say you don't do social media.

I find its best to wind up people like this.

Tell em something like, “cant talk have a serious emergency here, will give you a shout in an hour”

and then dont reply for days.

When they eventually track you down say something like you ran out of biscuits and milk and people were coming over for tea

That should let them know to never take any social media stuff serious.

this would be the same P who allows contact over Facebook & responds to it in a friendly fashion. then a week later the pattern is repeated and the person in work is supposed to divine OP now has reservations.

C'mon, they could have not responded to the original message. they could have blocked the person in work. they could have sat down with colleague and expressed their feelings. None of that happened.

To OP - you can be blunt and tell your work colleague to not contact you outside of work channels. But I personally think that would be an overreaction taking into account the previous message and response seemed to accept it was ok.

you should just pull back, and don't respond for days, if at all. discourage contact by being unresponsive.

As above.

Also block them on all social media.

OP, sorry, but you are coming across as quite neurotic, stressing over petty crap that could be sorted quite easily by just being assertive.

Don't want to get messages? Then just ignore the damn things. Don't want her telling you what to do, then tell her to do it herself. If she tells you to put the uniform just ask her who died and put her in charge.

Not everything has to be conflict, literally millions of co-workers have had to establish boundaries and ways of working together, and they don't do it by obsessing over petty incidents or running to managers to babysit everybody. Push back on the things that you don't like, allow the things you are comfortable with, do your job well and stop making mountains out of molehills.

OP - sit down and read your post and hopefully you realise that you are being unreasonable. Your problems with this person is really petty - you are doing ok if this is all you have to worry about.

• she contacted you when you were sick - presumably to check if you are ok. What is wrong with that?
• You forgot to put on your uniform in work ( which seems very careless on your part being honest) - she told you to put it on. Again this looks like she is looking out for you. She saved you getting in trouble with your boss.
• Phone use - its common practice in every job to be reminded from time to time not to use your phone during work hours. You appear to think that she is the cause of the supervisor saying this when she probably has nothing to do with it at all! It could be all in your head.
• Overloading your table - well put it back on her table! She will soon get the message when you are assertive about this.

Now OP I would be very careful about going to management about this. First you need to ask yourself if you are doing good at your job - forgetting to put on your uniform and your co-worker prompting you on what needs to be done could suggest you are not super in your at preforming your role ( Im not saying you are a bad employee by the way - I just want you to give this some consideration). She could be watching you because you need watching!

I suppose what Im trying to say OP is that you need to consider who is the problem - you or your co-worker.

Block her on facebook. Ask your manager if you are supposed to be answerable to this person as she seems to be taking it upon herself to comment on things that have nothing to do with her. From now on be civil but don't tell her anything about your personal life.

Honestly just tell her to go away with herself.

Block them on all communication environments.

Ignore outside of work.

it could be friendly, or it could be controlling and over bearing.

Neither of us know the tone used or type of person involved.

If you were added to a work Whatsapp group without your consent , this needs to be addressed with management.

And you have an example of why you didn't want to be added , people accessing your personal information (your number ) with out consent.

As for your colleague , either ignore the messages , speak to them , or speak to management about it. The choices are quite simple.

Following on from this point my first thought was that you seem 'vulnerable' to this person and this is why they are (in their own way) watching out for you at work and contacting you. They could feel like you are left out/quiet/not engaging/don't seem to have friends and they think reaching out to you and keeping an eye on you at work is a way of including you, ensuring you're not ignored. If the person is extroverted this is very likely imo. Extroverted people often mistake introverts for being lonely, shy and isolated. I don't mean this in a cruel way [I'm an introverted odd duck myself] but since your posts here come across as quite strange you likely come across that way in real life in a way that your other colleagues don't hence you sticking out as a vulnerable person.

It's fine to want to keep to yourself and it's fine to want to keep work at work and not get involved in any personal friendships with colleagues but you do need to be able to communicate that. Firmly but politely. You seem to have trouble communicating this and instead, you overthink and ruminate and come up with more sinister reasons for this person's messages. I have to agree that if you go to management you will be the one who seems - odd - and they may just refer you to EPA/coaching/whatever they have in place for employee wellbeing. You could have ended all this months ago with a simple message. You could still end it by messaging the work group with a firm and polite message stating your preferences/boundaries for contact outside the workplace.

As an introvert, I do that as soon as I join a new team. I state clearly I don't do team socials and don't want to be on social Whatsapp groups. I will make friends during work hours and share my personal number with someone if we connect at work. I enjoy 1:1 but get overwhelmed in group situations. That is understood and people are actually quite supportive. Anyone who said 'ah are you sure' was coming from a place of kindness instead of nastiness. Most people are decent, please communicate clearly and give this person a chance instead of assuming they have sinister intentions.

Bit more complicated than that.

They work together. More easy to say work is work. My own time is my own time. I don't answer work messages from any colleagues out of hours.