How much money does a family of 5 need in Dublin?

I would say it depends how and where you are living.

How old are your kids at this point? Are they passed nappies etc, do they want their own room?

is your partner crap with money ?

How do you plan to school?

Where are you currently living, how much is all that costing you.

Welcome home by the way, we missed you.

450 is aggressive with 3 maybe 4 kids, it depends on how old your money is?

I was on hand me downs for most of my youth, kids this epoch are destroying the environment with their Synthethic footwear and other garments. Those soccer jerseys are a crime, quite genuinely.

Are you bringing home any equity at all hedgehog? I am presuming you are still with us, be careful crossing the road there btw.

Have you considered fast tracking your kids into national stardom via some over priced drama group like the William Barold adventure story? If you have cute kids, who can smile and clap, some cretins might even watch reruns of them on their media player?

Take care. For the record fee paying schools are overrated agus overpriced and the Gael Scoils' are essentially fascist recruitment camps, think about it.

Don't get involved in watching soap operas unless you are going to do it properly, far better off spending your time developing a screenplay for a domestic fantasy that centers around a relocating family settling in Cabinteely, into a large private house, that one of their kids reckons is haunted by Brendan Grace, sniggering obscenities from the Attic.... which secretly houses a life size Bosco stage set that the Lamberts' sold for charity, which actually now shelters a 19 year old girl who claims to be Brenda Fricker stuck in a time loop. Give the real Brenda the nod first, she should be ok about it, if she isn't I would go for either Maureen Potter or at a stretch Sinead Cusack? Keep it simple.

Every episode the Bosco Stage set is reinvented as a modern time machine, you basically get under it and stick your hand up Bosco's skirt and before you can squeak " oh Graine that's bwilliant " the audience is transferred to Cabinteely in another time zone with dramatically different parallels.

After that you just need to decide what your target audience is, up to you. Just remember that in Ireland if you are hell bent on recreating coy sex scenes featuring nudity, that you will obliterate your audience by half. Don't bother, people are not interested in lame sex scenes anymore, although if you are hell bent on doing a few you could always concentrate one episode per series on a post water shed pornographic phuckfest that will certainly get the woke brigade up in arms. I would go for one of the kids time travelling to the future were he also transforms gender and remerges from Bosco's arse looking like an Androngenous Alien called Fransesca McKenna.

Good luck.

If you do manage to reach the promised land please remember that it may not be all it is cracked up to be?

Too many cars, its' crazy when you think about it. I actually find myself congratulating joyriders on incinerating another one when I suddenly realise that they are actually keeping waste of oxygen insurance underwriters in a job, the irony would make you seethe?

Do you really think those spikes on your back stand a chance against some overpriced electric car driven by a failed Surgeon who fills teeth for a living? Orthodontists are psychopaths with a grudge. Just be careful you don't end up looking like a broken jam jar that tried to eat a honey comb.

We love you Hedgehog. We really do.

I think I might short South American rubber production, something has gotta give hedge?