Online dating

yogalady · 16-12-2022 11:24pm #1

Hi there.

Just looking for advice. Which dating website would people recommend? Female in my 40s and don't know where to start.

Many thanks

bad2thebone · 16-12-2022 11:34pm

All depends on what you're looking for, POF plenty of fish is the Aldi version of dating sites. Tinder is for feeding the ego. Bumble is probably better for women,as you can choose who you want to chat with.

I used to date a lot until I got chatting with a lady in Dunnes in Ennis at the fruit and veg section. We're still together four years later.

I'm sure women could put you in the right direction,as I'm just giving you a guy's perspective.

Best of luck, it's fun dating in your 40's .... Hope you find someone who'll be funny, supportive and helpful 👍

YellowLead · 16-12-2022 11:35pm

I recommend bumble and hinge.

Tinder is not for the faint hearted - I use it alongside the other two, but it’s not for a novice.

You’ve nothing to lose in setting up a profile - maybe get the opinion of a male friend once it’s ready to go. Be yourself and be genuine - good luck!

sniperman · 16-12-2022 11:48pm

im in my late forties I tried a few sites,i found lots trying to scam,fake stories,fake pictures etc,so be careful,dont let your guard down,found no genuine women anyway

wotzgoingon · 17-12-2022 12:01am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120005810#Comment_120005810

I was on POF and another that wasn't as good. I forget the name a fair few years ago. This was before tinder and the likes and always met real girls and nobody tried to scam me ever either. But I was younger than you were.

I did read alright some woman was scammed but if some young good looking hunk starts chatting to you be very careful and try not let it go to your head and be brought under his lies as all this person wants to do is eventually get money off you.

Caranica · 17-12-2022 12:42am

There used to be an online dating forum on the old site, I think it's a group on the new boards. Not sure how busy it is but work looking for it. You used to have to request access

17-12-2022 12:46am

Results are mixed in my experience. I know plenty of people who found lasting relationships. I tend to only find fleeting romance at best, and mostly dates that are a waste of time. Plus the act of swiping, matching, messaging is just a pain.

I have far, far better luck in real life. I know finding people to meet in your 40s is more difficult, but there are apps for meeting people outside of dating too, like Meetup. I'd recommend giving that a go. It's surprisingly effective and fun even without dating in mind.

Dial Hard · 17-12-2022 12:57am

Jesus christ, is POF still a thing???

Bumble, OP. Don't waste your time on any of the others. Have a selection of photos across the spectrum of realistic to flattering and be honest about which are which. Fill your profile out. Read other people's full profiles. Swipe left on anyone:

Dial Hard · 17-12-2022 1:11am

Oh my fcuking god this stupid site won't let me type a proper post anymore if it has a quote in it

Swipe left on anyone who:

-Has only one photo or only group photos

-Has "Just Ask" on their profile instead of an actual bio

-Leads with absolutely anything negative. This is Red Flag 101. ANYTHING like "All the women on here are X" or "Swipe left if you're into Y" is an instant no

There are good guys out there, but there is a lot of chaff to be separated from the wheat. And unless you have the skin of a rhino, I'd advise you to steer clear.

17-12-2022 1:21pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120006110#Comment_120006110

Most profiles are like that, sadly. Both male and female.Online dating is an absolute state.

Chris_5339762 · 17-12-2022 1:31pm

None of them, they are all rubbish thesedays. Limits on the number of swipe rights unless you pay have slaughtered them.

POF is just full of people who will never message you

Bumble is like dating in a morgue

Tinder is just full of people who have a wishlist of what they want but have no sense of reality.

Hannibal_Smith · 17-12-2022 4:09pm

Mod Note

Thanks for your post OP. As it's a discussion on dating apps you're looking for, I'll move your thread over to the Ladies' Lounge which is probably a better fit for it.

Local charter applies

Thanks

HS

17-12-2022 4:21pm

I know Tinder has a bad reputation and it’s full of chancers, but it’s also a busy site so there are totally genuine people among them. Guys are sometimes terrible at getting themselves a decent selfie, don’t know about the women as I haven’t been seeking them out. The fakes are just hilarious and usually but maybe not always fairly obvious.

pgj2015 · 17-12-2022 4:30pm

Dont use a photo shop picture only showing your head, I met someone off POF, she looked like Kim Kardashian on POF but more like Kim Jong un in person.

wotzgoingon · 17-12-2022 4:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120007561#Comment_120007561

I know women like that in real life. Posts amazing pictures of their face. Chosen pics by them. As in the best ones they take and they are fat and ugly in real life and another was always telling me she is going to be rich. I let her off but was always saying to myself you will never get rich yourself and no millionaire would want you.

magic17 · 17-12-2022 9:49pm

Bumble & Hinge are probably the best if you're starting off with no previous experience.

Tinder is Tinder, best to go in with no expectations if you're going to use it. It can be great but as I said, best to go in with no expectations.

Avoid POF, it has a far lower standard than the other apps. Fake profiles, anyone can message you even if you're not interested, it's just best avoided in my experience.

Match is a ghost town generally but can be some genuine people on there that are 35+.

wotzgoingon · 17-12-2022 9:58pm

I have a fake Tinder account. I don't use it to trick anyone like I do not talk to anyone on it I just like looking up the young ones on it. I'm aged 18 on there more than half my age.

Dial Hard · 18-12-2022 6:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120008509#Comment_120008509

Gross.

JamesBond2010 · 29-12-2022 2:24pm

Def Pof is goe to the Dogs u are only allowed send one msg a day now, where as before you could send as many as yo want if u see some one you like. Its also the same old face on it again and again. no one really wants a relationship anymore. find it to be full of time wasters arrange to go on a date then dont bother ans after all that.(its not that they have found some one cause they be still on it.)

Tinder is 99% fakes now you can see it from the profiles, even using the war , u can see a lot of scammers saying they from ukraine they will try to scam you out of money then if you fall for it. Tired of reporting fake ones on it. Online dating i say has nearly had its day, spend most of the time weeding out the fakes and time wasters

wotzgoingon · 29-12-2022 4:50pm

I haven't been on online dating in quite some time but is there still 5 foot nothings saying he must be over 6 foot.

JamesBond2010 · 29-12-2022 10:14pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120043968#Comment_120043968

i wouldnt know i am a male, but there prob is.

04-01-2023 1:30am

Facebook dating hasn't been mentioned here and I'd recommend giving it a try. I'm finding guys are a lot more genuine on it compared to other sites, so far.

JamesBond2010 · 04-01-2023 4:27pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120062877#Comment_120062877

Male here is it actual any good or is it like tinder full of fakes and scammers

04-01-2023 5:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120065084#Comment_120065084

It's actually good, from what I can see. I can't speak for guys using it who are looking for women though. It asked me to upload a selfie video to verify my profile after a few days so I doubt there's many scammers on it.

JamesBond2010 · 07-01-2023 3:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120065471#Comment_120065471

I tried it still a load of fakes profiles on it. Trying to be like tinder but the comment on picture feature leaves women open to rude/disgusting comments then.Saw some familar faces on it as welll from tinder/pof

07-01-2023 6:01pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120078291#Comment_120078291

Oh ok, I'm not getting that kind of thing on it at all. How do you know they're fake?

I'm chatting to someone at the moment and he was saying he finds it better than the other apps too in terms of actually having a conversation with someone. Hinge has the comment on photos thing and I find it good in general as someone can comment on a pic and strike up a conversation. I'd be expecting to see a lot of the same people given the size of Ireland.

JamesBond2010 · 07-01-2023 6:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120078765#Comment_120078765

when u get contacted by fakes a lot you tend to know then what profiles are real and what profiles are the just catfishing &some of them use the same pictures over and over again.also the name doesnt match the picture or what they said on their profile

07-01-2023 7:26pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120078782#Comment_120078782

Ah ok, maybe it's different for guys. I did come across one guy I thought might be a fake though! 6'6 apparently and absolutely massive and American, I didn't continue the convo just in case. It's weird though that they asked me to video verify my profile and don't seem to do it with everyone.

wotzgoingon · 07-01-2023 7:32pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120079033#Comment_120079033

About ten years ago I was chatting to this young one and anyway we met up and she said she thought I was a computer as I typed so fast.

wotzgoingon · 07-01-2023 7:34pm

Doesn't even make sense, what did the website have their hands on some sort of enhanced AI ten years ago. Being able to converse with someone about what they asked and then able to ask questions related to the topic. Ah she was young I suppose so there's that.

JamesBond2010 · 13-01-2023 8:55am

That F/book dating gone crap now latest update,hardly anyone on it, then when u do click it the matches then dissappear.🤣🤣

Online dating

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