Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

SuperBowserWorld · 19-12-2022 7:44pm

Also dreading most days here. Going to take it really easy over xmas and avoid a lot of stressful situations where I can.

Deja Boo · 19-12-2022 7:56pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015444#Comment_120015444

Sounds like a good plan :) SuperBowserWorld.

Can't say I am able to get any peace staying "home" with the constant loud neighbour noises invading my space, day and night. My kingdom for a bit of peace!

SuperBowserWorld · 19-12-2022 8:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015488#Comment_120015488

Constant noise would drive you to despair. Foam ear plugs are good and cheap and might help a bit.

I'm dog walking and slow drinking Guinness over Christmas in quiet pubs. I never do the latter, but this year I'm not hanging around the house and just going to get out when I can.

I know if I stay at home I will just go crazy and burn myself out.

I might even bring the dog to the pub if the weather is nice and we can sit outside. 🐕

Note: not advocating alcohol here, just a few pints , bring the kindle , just get the hell out of the house. 🤞

SuperBowserWorld · 20-12-2022 9:02am

Dreading Christmas to be honest. Pretending everything is ok and wonderful when it's not. I think that's the hardest part.

Going to try to be patient, kind, keep my mouth shut. Get out of the house as much as I can. Exercise. Fresh air. Few pints. Stay off/away from crap food, bad news, bad internet.

Deja Boo · 21-12-2022 8:37pm

I am too worn mentally, lacking any motivation to get even the important life-stuff handled before Christmas.

Christmas day has never been anything special, just another day with more sad undertones than cheer (as an ending to the season). Nice to have a day off though (please Gawd). The season leading up to it was always the part I liked, altho even that's been pretty meh (for me) the past decade or so... the season seems to slip away too quick and easily, almost unknowingly ...My Christmases (as of late) remind me of that song "Where are you Christmas?"

Graces7 · 23-12-2022 5:22am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120015488#Comment_120015488

Ah that is truly appalling! Been there many times. Sheer unadulterated hell.. I don;t know the details of this? But good ear plugs may help? I use Quies wax when the wind shouts. Roll them in fingers until they soften.. Then they will mould to ears beautifully and effectively. Noise sensitivty is heightend by the ME/ CFS

I am finally in a peaceful place as far as neighbours go. Nearest are five fields away and while I made a ruckus years ago re their dog barking all night now they curb that.

Also I now understand that the anxiety etc are intensified by this illness it gets easier to accept and deal with.. NB as opposed to being a sympton.. The GP who opined that ME is partly mental illness way back in the UK was the final straw after 30 years of misdiagnosed illness.. I left the country! Now when the fears start I.. " let time pass" as in " this too shall pass". Easy for me as I am abed a lot now so I snuggle . knit, and watch old series on youtube.. let the inner terrors do their worst as my pile of gloves to sell grows. any physical illness will intensify senses

Graces7 · 23-12-2022 2:20pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120016874#Comment_120016874

Being totally alone in the world and all but housebound, .. and without the health etc to join in anything... It took me literally decades but I am tranquil and at peace. I enjoy the cooking, the decorations, the Crib most of all. Being a life-long deeply committed Christian, the season is filled with Jesus. Every year it starts for me with the Nine Lessons and Carols from Kings College at Three pm on the Eve. I know the readings by heart.. And having greatly exceeded my three score years and ten I am deeply thankful to be here this year. Today I am weary beyond measure and stumbling around!. lol.. that is normal. And easy to cope with.

Gremlinertia · 26-12-2022 9:12pm

Hope all here are holding together ok, i'm around as always in the middle of the night all over new year

Deja Boo · 27-12-2022 1:55am

It was nice (even though I didn't fully appreciate it at the time) to have a day of relative peace, thank you Christmas.

Suddenly back to the grind, I notice how overly stressful it all is. Does the world exist on heightened adrenaline, I wonder.

Gremlinertia · 27-12-2022 1:59am

I wouldn't choose not to work altogether, but there is this constant false sense of urgency to things..

Deja Boo · 27-12-2022 2:06am

You express things so well Gremlin, I couldnt've said it better - "false sense of urgency" placed on every little thing it seems.

SuperBowserWorld · 27-12-2022 10:00am

It's a drama created by consumerism and advertising to make you feel inadequate and that you need to work harder, do more, buy more, consume more ... to be happy or to be loved. So, everyone is in this crazy competition competing against each other...

Anyway, best to stop and watch it and your thoughts when these feelings arise.

Graces7 · 27-12-2022 2:31pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120037142#Comment_120037142

My illness was very kind and efficient in separating me off from al that. Being labelled " invalid" in all senses gives a freedom. It took me a while to cut out the " competitive" thinking that as you rightly say is drummed into us. But the freedom is ... wondrous.

RabbleRouser2k · 01-01-2023 8:18am

As the year draws to an end, and I'm typing this in the early hours of New Years Day, I can't help but feel morose. I made sure to stay sober tonight. Had a drink or two last night, but opted to not drink tonight. Stayed in, watched Glass Onion on Netflix. Wanted to be with loved ones rather than out with strangers.

2022 done been a battle. Physically, emotionally, it just all felt like a long, long wave of dread. From the beginning of the year, until the end, I had stuff just thrown at me. And I never felt as useless in my life as I did this year. Never felt so powerless.

The losses this year, have been pretty big. I feel it in my body sometimes, with a reaction that sort of leaps out at me. Still can't watch a movie or any piece of media with a dog in it. Much less one that has an animal die or get mistreated. Even when I know it's fictional, it hits too hard to home.

And yet, when I step back a bit, I feel grateful too. I'm grateful for the people in my life. I'm grateful for the help. For people's patience. For the animal's who can bring so much joy. For being able to vent, online, and still maintain an element of anonymity.

I just want things to be a little easier. Hoping 2023 brings some amount of relief. And that I feel like less of a screw-up for the most part.

Meeoow · 01-01-2023 3:48pm

So far, the new year has been cráp for me. Family issues already. 😔

Deja Boo · 01-01-2023 7:46pm

...

Graces7 · 02-01-2023 4:01am

@Graces7 the issues you speak of, including possible intervention by authorities, aren't suitable for the LTI forum unfortunately, post removed

Grem

RabbleRouser2k · 02-01-2023 9:34am

In recent times, I've subscribed to Chinese New Years, rather than regular New Year. I know it sounds bizarre, but I know someone who grew up in the East. Very much educated me on the whole New Years tradition over there.

Chinese New Year is sort of great for ditching the 'norms' and allowing yourself leeway. At least for me, anyways.

SuperBowserWorld · 02-01-2023 8:01pm

I'm a big ball of anxiety today.

Just having to face all the issues I've been deferring again and go back to work tomorrow.

Going to try and cut out a load of crap from my life this year and face my real problems.

Gremlinertia · 03-01-2023 12:56am

It's that time of year when lots of us tend to evaluate which turns into negative rumination, having a right dose of it here to be honest.. Anyway the one thing i can share is don't plan an entire new year upheaval of things, i've set myself up for failure like that more times than i care to remember.. Gentle changes, baby steps as they say.

RabbleRouser2k · 03-01-2023 5:54am

Oh I've cut out new years resolutions. As you say, you set yourself up for failure. Just focus on trying to do your best, and look out for those you care about, without letting 'parasites' in.

SuperBowserWorld · 08-01-2023 4:36pm

In a real old mental panic today. Just going round in circles.

Gremlinertia · 08-01-2023 7:46pm

More a despair type situation here

Sardonicat · 08-01-2023 7:51pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120082940#Comment_120082940

(((Hugs)))

I can't offer any practical support but I can fully empathise. Lower than I've been in a long, long time and not seeing any light

Gremlinertia · 08-01-2023 8:44pm

It's a tough month for a variety of reasons and then there are our own personal situations too. Stay the course, brighter days are (literally) coming

RabbleRouser2k · 08-01-2023 8:51pm

It's the new year. Slept through Saturday. By all means, was a horrible day yesterday, so I didn't miss anything (power was out, thunder and lightning, and rain pouring from the sky). I only got two hours sleep on Friday due to a series of events that were beyond my control, that then left me with little sleep that day. Had a therapy appointment too, so had to apologise for being a bit out of it before hand. No amount of coffee kept me awake.

RabbleRouser2k · 11-01-2023 4:25am

This weather is wrecking my sleep schedule. Either sleeping too much, or over sleeping completely.

SuperBowserWorld · 15-01-2023 4:12pm

Like a vegetable here today.

My get up and go has gone.

RabbleRouser2k · 15-01-2023 11:48pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120111721#Comment_120111721

I've been like that the last few days. My sleep pattern is in crap.

The weather hasn't helped, some hailstones that walloped the windows while I was trying to catch up on sleep, meant I over slept. I suppose I'm grateful that I haven't had a panic attack in weeks. Little steps.

SuperBowserWorld · 16-01-2023 12:03am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120113858#Comment_120113858

Yep, it's very useful to get up and goto bed at the same time everyday. Easier said than done.

RabbleRouser2k · 16-01-2023 2:44am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120113912#Comment_120113912

On paper, yes. But life isn't like that. Our internal demons/ clocks/ etc can mess up. For me, I don't know, but it feels like possible post-covid, I don't know, but I can get zapped. Like, do too much (and there's no set amount of 'what's too much') and I can find my energy gone the following day.

It can also feel like, at least with me, that I'm stealing life from someone-wasting life, especially when you see so many people who died young, or were killed in an accident. Makes me feel like a parasite.

SuperBowserWorld · 16-01-2023 9:48am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120114169#Comment_120114169

It's a mental health issue that makes you feel the way you do. It's as valid as a physical health issue. Also, there are combinations of mental, physical and life circumstances that make things the way they are and cause these issues.

I've several hard problems that bring on my anxiety. And that brings on depression.

Graces7 · 16-01-2023 5:58pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120114368#Comment_120114368

Please make sure you do something every day that makes YOU smile ad that YOU enjoy?

I never think in terms of "mental health" issues etc. it is all basically natural and in many ways a valid reaction to what our life is throwing up/ And as normal and healthy reaction to life.

So why label is as a health issue? Let alone a mental health issue.

Just now I am drained and exhausted. Many would call this a mental health issue. But it is a normal, healthy and very unpleasant response to the utter chaos of the last few days here. eg computer dying as the modem failed and all the extreme hassle as i am offshore of getting it resolvd with very little time on my phone.. so five days with no emergency cover.. Superwoman I am not!. To me far healthier to realise that and deal with it gently and realistically. being kind to ourselves is strong and sensible...

Sardonicat · 17-01-2023 2:59am

The nights are really hard. Tough, lonely and exhausting.

Gremlinertia · 17-01-2023 3:03am

Far too much time for thinking to get negative and dark alright

Graces7 · 17-01-2023 9:47am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120118381#Comment_120118381

I know I am much older than most here but I solved much of that decades ago by having books, TV, knitting by my side abed. Any simple craft or puzzle occupation breaks the isolation wondroulsy. One year I bought one of those huge colouring posters and when sleepless worked on that.

I know the "advice" is to do the opposite than have activity options near you. But it works for me.

I just refsued to let this depression etc steal so many hours of my life. said NO. So now at least when it is bad - and it gets very very bad- there is something to show for it.

Some folk go for a w alk but I am not ablle for that. I DID used to get up and deep clean etc. Scrubbing the floor at 3 am... lol...

Anything but lie there in darkness and despair. Life is too short and precious. So I take control. Not had a really bad night in ????

Sardonicat · 17-01-2023 10:14am

I'm awake at night because I have to be., due to being a carer. I'm not lying on my back staring at the ceiling. I could sleep standing up if I had the opportunity. The lack of sleep and the deep, bottomless sadness of witnessing my father being eroded by dementia before he dies is chipping away at my mental health. And yes, I mean "mental health".

While I think it's a good reminder that doing activities helps to fight depression I also think it's important to remind people that as depression progresses the ability to motivate oneself to do anything disappears. Its a key, red flag symptom and no one should be beating themselves up if they find themselves in that position and speaking as someone with experience of it, if anyone taking this thread finds themselves in that situation, please, please go to see your GP.

RabbleRouser2k · 17-01-2023 12:42pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120118709#Comment_120118709

I've been a carer a few times in my life, and it's a very, very difficult job.

I was a night owl before that, but it made me a die-hard night owl after. Was definitely one of the most stressful things I've been through.

Sometimes meditation can help. We often restrict our breathing during stress, unwillingly and unknowingly, part of the fight or flight response, I believe. Then you just have to take ten minutes to catch your breath.

Have you been using any resources that might help with regards to caring for your dad? I know there are some respite places. Had to avail of them when things got very stressful.

Graces7 · 17-01-2023 1:53pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120118709#Comment_120118709

That there is no respite care for good folk like you makes me so..... Years ago when I was younger and more able I involved in a "night guardian" scheme to allow good daughters like you to have even one night a week of sleep. WIsh there were something like that for thee..There was continuity so we got to know the people. That was in Donegal. I KNOW that you will have looked into all that.

RabbleRouser2k · 19-01-2023 4:08am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120119736#Comment_120119736

Whilst I wouldn't qualify as a good daughter (having an XY chromosome rules that out, :) ) there were nurses who would often come by, and give advice. One or two could be helpful, the others could be more a nuisance than anything.

A lot of the decent services don't avail of government funding, and instead rely on the kindness of donations.

RabbleRouser2k · 19-01-2023 5:14am

Really getting tired of these intermittent 'hibernations'-where I can't seem to get out of bed.

The weather seemed to set it off yesterday (Tuesday)-rain, snow, thunder.... all within the span of a few hours, and had to cancel plans today because of it.

Probably isn't helped by my procrastinating a task my counsellor gave me as sort of a checklist of grief. Strange to explain, honestly.

SuperBowserWorld · 19-01-2023 2:11pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120127569#Comment_120127569

Yep, I have a list of difficult problems to confront/deal with. And work is a continuous todo list. No energy for the "easy" tasks after all that. But I do eat healthy, mostly, exercise when I can, and sleep as well as I can. But it's a real hamster wheel life.

Graces7 · 22-01-2023 1:44pm

Just cannot rise to doing anything. Hate caving in so early but needs must close all and sleep. Tomorrow will be a better day and even if it is not we will cope. The situations this week meant dealing with a lot of hard issues and officialdom. And being without internet access etc made it far worse.

This lifelong illness that was not recognised let alone treated etc for over 30 years and even then disregarded is at times impossible to bear. But we try! Then some think well she is not ill! So then I vanish to cope with it all... gets too exhausting to try to explain!

We do what we can and the "Phoenix Rising" forum is a good resource that I can contirbute to .. But there s no end to it, Noone ever gets better byt if you say it is "incurable" folk do not accpet or admit that.

This week has been a slice of hell for that and now I am at the end of any strength I had . We used to say that t least a

A borken leg is visible so folk believe in it.. We look normal.. so no leeway with situations like last week.

Over fifty years now it has been since a bad flu triggered ad led to Myalgic Encephalomylitis.

Still so many joys and pleasures in life! Still beauty. Still love!To give.

Overwhelmed... just that.

RabbleRouser2k · 23-01-2023 9:02pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120141397#Comment_120141397

I've avoided getting very ill for a few years, but I know a few folks who have caught that flu that's going around. It's awful. Had to send a medicinal package to one relative (over the counter meds, a cough bottle, and a few lozenges) because they couldn't get out of bed. Couldn't get to a pharmacy.

It's an absolute bugger. A few of my brothers friends were in bed for Xmas and New Years with it.

I don't really know what advice to offer.

Graces7 · 24-01-2023 1:12am

Thankfully I am resourceful enough to stay home without too much problem. And with the M.E energy is gold dust.

And moving offshore to a small island with few folk was also a liberation. As is the internet. Can yoy imagine the total isolation without it? No email or forums.

We can travel the world.. chat with folk overseas. Even make new close friends and sometimes later meet them. I have done that with folk from the US.

Graces7 · 26-01-2023 12:02am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120147891#Comment_120147891

Kindnes heals...Thank you... And it is simply my permanent state with this illness (M.E) that sometimes gets the better of me. I have in a very real way to cut my cloth according to my means and "life" does not always understand that does it? as we all know. lol..

I have had a good sleep . some favourite food ( fresh white bap with real butter and lemon curd!) and am ready for the fray again! In my small way... And I keep in stock any meds I might need. Plenty of fluids is a key too. And geting some simple pleasures out of life.

AND avoiding flu etc. It was flu that triggered the M.E to start with. Please take care out there..

Small treats work wonders.

As long as I stay clear of catching flu etc ...

Now where is the chocolate..

Graces7 · 26-01-2023 9:54am

andn then "life" intervenes and down we go,

WE are not the problem are we? Iti s the """"""""out everywhere.......

WE can cope fine...but

Back abed ad nor budging ever agaiin! Just all..

31-01-2023 8:34am

Have been in an especially bad way the last 4 or 5 days. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. The local mental health team won't prescribe medications for me anymore. Suffering as a result. Told to go to St.Lomans in Mullingar if I need immediate help.

RabbleRouser2k · 01-02-2023 4:59am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120180704#Comment_120180704

Have you tried contacting any support lines, or friends or family?

01-02-2023 10:43am

Had one or two bad incidents with the samaritans, which put me off others. No friends for a few years now sadly. And family, none that would be of use here specifically.

A bit better today anyway.

Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

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