No man wants to date me because I’m approaching 30?

You're in the absolute tip top prime of your life for meeting someone who wants to settle down and make a long term serious relationship leading to marriage/kids (if that's what you're also looking for)

I was on dating sites as a 34 yo man actively looking for a woman who wanted that aged 25 to 34.

It was full of somewhat desperate 34 to 38 year old women who's desperation was a massive turn off.

This is not to say that all women in that age bracket are desperate or a turn off, but the ones I met were.

I found a then 26 yo (a little on the young side i thought, but she had good reasons to be looking for all that stuff at that young age) and now 12 years later we have two kids and despite challenges we are in a reasonably good place.

Relax the kaks. You're every settling down type of man's dream.

The vast vast majority of 29 yo guys will date a compatible 29 yo gal.

Either you are falling victim to some quirk of the website age groupings - as in you are bracketed with 30 somethings and they don't want to date older.

OR ... there is something else in your profile putting guys off.

I really doubt your age is the issue. If you were 10 years older maybe but 29 is way too young to think your on the shelf already. I'd say it's more likely that the men in your age bracket have just reached the age where they are finally confidant enough with women that they realise they have a choice, or aren't looking for anything too serious. If a 29 year old man is saying he's only interested in someone 18-24 I think it's safe to assume he's only looking for something casual. Keep your standards where you want them but realise that it may take a while to meet someone who ticks all your boxes. That's true regardless what age you are

Plenty of lads get married at 29/30. It's just that they get married after having been going out with the same girl for a good few years at that stage. If the girl is trying to snag him for the first time at 29 then she is about 4 or 5 years too late though. That window is gone and she'll have to aim for a different age group if she is in a hurry.

I really dont think that age is a factor, and the men who are concerned with it arent really worth your time anyway. Every one of my exes ended up with much older women than themselves and several men I know settled down with women in their mid to late 30's while the men are much younger. On the flip side of that I know women who are settled with much younger men and who only met them when they were well into their 30's.

I think the people who put women into a box like that based on their age, are usually those type of freaks who are obsessed with judging women and guilting & shaming them into behaving a certain way.

I just think that as you get older, majority of the men who want to settle down are already in long term relationships, youre left with a smaller selection of men, some of them want to settle down but they have too many red flags so no one will consider them, then theres men who don't want to settle down & just want sex, and then theres the odd decent guy whose open to settling down but you're just not compatible or attracted to each other for whatever reason.

Dating apps also give men the notion that they have endless options to choose from so theyre always looking for someone better or thinking they can do better. I also think the likes of instagram has given allot of men unreal expectations and they can be quite shallow when choosing a partner & can go for someone who looks good on paper but theyre miserable in the relationship. Then theres double standards that have to be considered too like for example, men who are looking for a mother figure/date mother figures and how this is such red flags. If you or I was looking for a father figure in a relationship it would be rightly considered as creepy but allot of women feel they have to conform and be a mother to their partner or else he wont stick around. I think having your boundaries and knowing what your comfortable with is such a strength and those kind of standards shouldnt be lowered just for the sake of having a relationship.

The point being is that dating after 30 can be like fishing in sewer sometimes.

I've been reflecting on this one....

Full disclosure, I am female, Irish, double the age of the OP...and have long experience of the male sex - who I like and enjoy.

Here's a couple of thoughts arising, to the OP:

1. If blokes don't want to date you, why don't you date them? Go ahead - ask one out. (It worked for me!)
2. This "online dating" scene has a huge, huge failure rate - because there's a huge gap between reality and daydreams! (I've been on a couple of these sites, too)
3. the best way to meet someone is to actually meet them: in real life, real time. Smile at people, chat if they smile back. Honestly, hand on heart, this really works. It works much, much better than composing profiles and hoping someone likes the persona you portray in it...and guess what? The lads are doing the exact same. Hence the huge gap!

I could make a portfolio of all the women I have heard moaning that they had a lot of fun in their 20's but now. at 30 and later, the men aren't interested: all the "good ones" are taken or married, and the ones who aren't are bitter, disillusioned and only out for some gratifying sex with someone young and pretty.

Meanwhile, the men of a similar age are complaining that women only want to use them, to get what they want - money, marriage, kids and a house - and then discard them. Leaving them high and dry, and very broke.

So it has to be real life and real, honest relationships; it takes more work, but it really does deliver much better and long-lasting results.

Speaking for myself it really feels like men dont want to put the work in, it takes 2 to make a relationship work.