Not bonding with new dog

Somepeople · 01-01-2023 4:37pm #1

My dog died suddenly last summer, she was my favourite dog breed.

My other half bought a different breed puppy who is now 7 months and I still have no attachment to him. We spent time training him and he knows loads of tricks but he is stubborn, whiney, irritating, annoying, high strung etc. I just don't like him. He is the exact opposite to my old dog who I loved within a week of adopting.

I have had puppies before and I know they can be hard work but there is normally a lot of fun times with them, but not with this guy.

My OH, dislikes him also and regrets not going with the breed we already had, but the hurt of losing her suddenly meant she didn't want another one at that time.

I hate the thoughts of being an irresponsible dog owner but in this case I think the best option is to find him a new home.

Any suggestions on how to bond with him or should we rehome him.

Jim_Hodge · 01-01-2023 4:43pm

This often happens with a hasty move to replace a lost loved dog. If it just feels wrong after more than 6 months then perhaps finding another home for him, sooner rather than later, is the best action. You'll come on a dog you love in your own good time.

tamara25 · 02-01-2023 10:23am

Pm sent somepeople

muddypaws · 03-01-2023 1:19pm

If you bought the dog from a reputable breeder there should be a contract in place that you have to return the dog to them rather than rehome or sell yourself.

Have you spoken with the breeder?

Xidu · 03-01-2023 2:06pm

I am sorry to say this but not fair to the dog. Dog has feelings too.

if you really can’t pls rehome asap b4 the dog gets too attached

tiredblondie · 11-01-2023 4:57pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120059565#Comment_120059565

I have to agree - you might have decided you just don't like him but remember, you are his absolute everything in this world!

It's just cruel to re-home him and him wondering where you are, when you are coming back for him, what did he do wrong :(

I re-homed one of mine (but that was because his family was moving abroad, not because they just didn't like him anymore) and the work it took us all for about 6 months for him to finally be happy and feel comfortable in his new forever home.

xhomelezz · 11-01-2023 5:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058277710/not-bonding-with-new-dog

You don't talk to each other before getting a new puppy? Any research done before buying?

I don't want to sound too harsh etc. OP, but maybe a bit of patience could help..

Edit: Is it behaviour what bothers you most? Because that can be fixed. Or is it something else. What breed is it?

headtheball14 · 16-01-2023 1:34am

Their behavior sounds like he may have been separated from his mother too early. Likely a puppy farm dog. They can be quite needy.

I've one she was very anxious and demanding. Training understanding her behavior and working with vet has improved things a lot. I don't feel the same way as I did with my other dog but that's my problem. I owe her the best I can do.

Rehoming is very difficult at the moment.rescues are closing Pounds are making very difficult decisions, at the moment you are the best home they are likely to get unless you know someone who wants them.

There are over 200 dogs just about to look for rehoming from just one breeder this week.

https://www.corkbeo.ie/news/local-news/inspectors-find-hundreds-overcrowded-dogs-25970637

arrianalexander · 16-01-2023 6:33am

A dog will pick up on your emotions / mood better than it will pick up your instructions

He will sense your frustration and anger but may not understand your instruction .

Which in turn will impact your relationship and how you bond.

Keep the training basic and keep repeating , keep rewarding .

Like someone else said , you are their world.

Graces7 · 19-01-2023 12:17pm

Please persevere? Breakthroughs can happen suddenly with patience. Love him. Show your caring. He needs you

womaningreen · 10-03-2023 11:45am

I've been experiencing similar. I have had dogs all my life, have rescued, taken in strays etc. I had two dogs for many years that were bonded, and one died late last year of cancer. Within weeks I got another dog from a pound - thinking both myself and my remaining dog could do with the company. This was, in retrospect, a hasty decision.

This dog has done nothing wrong at all, but I just cannot bond with him. I've never felt this way about any dog that I've owned before, including challenging ones. I just don't really like him. My other dog isn't too keen on him either. He's well behaved and quiet. I feel awful about how I feel. I'd also feel awful about rehoming him and what people would think. I just don't know what to do but right now, if I could turn the clock back, I feel like I would.

bb1234567 · 10-03-2023 11:50am

Well give it some thought at least. Think about the dogs feelings too. You might not like him but he probably likes you and you are the only people in his life. They can take a long time to readjust to new homes. Somebody else mentioned 6 months and in my experience it was the same for a dog we adopted. Took months of intense affection and attention from her new family to get over her old family, she pined all night long for months and had noticeably bloodshot eyes for months too from lack of sleep. They only live ten years and 6 months of emotional distress is actually a big part of their entire lifespan...same as 4 years of heartbreak for a human length lifespan. Not something to do on a whim if there is a hope for a happy life for you all together.

Somepeople · 11-03-2023 2:36am

Update

So we still have him. We have bonded a lot since the opening post. He has became really likeable in the past month or so.

We also adopted another dog in the end of January, same breed as the one that died (GSD). I think that helped a lot.

They are getting on great together despite the huge size difference. His behaviour has completely changed. He has calmed down on walks and around people. His obedience changed within a week of adopting our other girl and his anxiety around new dogs has disappeared.

Glad we kept him tbh.

Graces7 · 11-03-2023 10:25am

Thank you for updating! So glad it has worked out.

IceT · 22-03-2023 11:22am

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058277710/not-bonding-with-new-dog

My advice is training, and I'm not talking about tricks, sit, stay, I'm referring to a structure change. Sounded like he was anxious and afraid, possibly unstimulated and bored but obviously the breed of your issue dog is unknown here. I teach my clients a set of behaviours (8 behaviours) that mean you can live a relaxed life, with a calm, confident and reduce anxiety. They help give a structured and stable environment, controlling behaviour around guests coming in, door bell going, walking and reactivity.

By the sounds of your latest update it seems to have worked out but you might have just gotten lucky tbh. Exactly like having a second child wont fix a marriage, getting a second dog normally wont fix the first, in fact it can make it worse.

I understand that its all worked out so far but my advice is to consult a professional, get some training so you can understand how to move forward and prevent any further issues from coming up.

Not bonding with new dog

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