online dating

Nobody owes anyone else anything. Women don't owe any individual man relationships or dates or sex. And men don't owe any individual woman any of those either.

It's up to you to decide what you want and make your choices based off that. There is a full spectrum of people out there for both women and men. The "higher" you aim, the more competition you'll have. If you try to compete out of your league you'll lose every match. Simple as that.

Find your own level and accept it. You can potentially increase it with effort. But to a limit

"Find your own level and accept it"

This is 100% correct, all men and women should be doing this as it leads to happiness.. the problem is this is very very hard with the way the apps are designed to keep you always thinking their might be someone better.

What is your minimum height for the fella?

I just googled and found this site https://tall.life/height-percentile-calculator-age-country/ . If you put in Ireland and male and say 6', then it tells you that 1-in-6 are taller.

Given that height is a physical characteristic which seems to attract most women, then if you are aiming for a 6'+ man, you'd want to be in roughly the top 15-20% of potential female options for the fella (and that is assuming that all of them want to settle down). Because you are competing with all the other females for the same 1-in-6 lads.

Are you in the top 15-20%? You could be top 15-20% in your own age group, but that doesn't necessarily mean top 15-20% of potential options. Give me 50 23-year-olds and 50 31-year-olds and let me rank all 100 in terms of attractiveness............there's not going to be an even split making it into the overall top 20......

You're entitled to go for what you want. And I'd advise anyone to aim as high as they can. No harm to be realistic though. Does it seem unfair? Well it's no more unfair than it is to the 5'11 fella who won't pass your (hypothetical) filter. A good chunk of the women at least have had the advantage of being in that overall top 15-20% at some stage in their life. That was the opportunity to "lock" someone in

Continuing along the height line, you said this

The poster said this:

I don't understand why it would be more understandable for a tall girl to want someone taller than her than, say, for a short girl to want someone taller than her. I'd expect a girl who was 6' to be more open to dating someone shorter than her compared to say the openness of a 5'2" girl to dating someone shorter than her

If a man makes 20k a year, to me it would seem understandable that he wants to find someone who makes more than him and he might restrict himself as such. But if the man makes 1m, it would seem a bit counterintuitive to me for someone to think that that makes it more reasonable for him to restrict his targets to those that make more than him.

She can do that if she wants. But it's like my example of the million-earning fella restricting himself to women who earn more than him. He already has an advantage compared to most others, and would probably get a lot of attention from lots of women .......... but he decides to handicap himself by targetting a small pool. Maybe the 1m+ women are the top 1% .... but is he the top 1% of their potential suitors. Ultimately that's his choice. But if he can't find someone then maybe his self-imposed restriction bears a lot of the blame.

If you want to restrict yourself to the most-sought-after 20% of males then just make sure you are in the most-sought-after top 20% of women.

I was curious as to your distinction between short and tall women. The poster said basically "I want a man who is taller than me because I am tall". She didn't say "I want a man who is relatively taller than me". You basically replied to the effect that "that makes sense because you are tall". I only said that one would expect the relative thing to be valid regardless of the absolute height.

(BTW, and it is a different point, but a 5'10 girl who restricts her filter to 6'+ men will have the same number of men passing that filter as the 5'2" girl with the same filter.)