online dating

17-01-2023 3:20pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120119970#Comment_120119970

Will listen in a bit. Cheers.

I live close to Edgeworthstown. 10 mins away. But that's only been since August. Prior to that was cavan. Jan 2017 to August just gone. Dublin again (god take me back) before that.

Will more than likely find other people through groups like Aurora suggested. Yet to go to any though.

Hope I recognise the good when I see it...

17-01-2023 3:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120119996#Comment_120119996

I'm only a month/couple of months older than her daughter I think. Maybe that freaked her out? Who's to say? Although in her anger yesterday she did say that she couldn't let someone as insane as me be around her kids ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I hope my knowing where she lives is the deterrent there.

Yeah, major paranoia on my part. Can't help but worry.

17-01-2023 3:24pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120247#Comment_120120247

No worries. I thought it might be help because sometimes it can seem like everyone else has or always had their sh1t together, when that's not the case at all.

The gym or the walking groups sound like a good idea! Why not try both and see which has people you click the most with, or ask her what the general age group is in each of them?

The waiting lists for public psych are sh1t, you'll be waiting a lifetime and at that get an apt with a different person once a month for maybe 10 appointments; that's why I'm saying to go private.

17-01-2023 3:36pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120306#Comment_120120306

Can ask her about them. Don't have the clothes for either, but I can sort that out.

I know yeah, was on a 19 month list before I saw a counsellor. Private psychiatrists seem to be around the 160 p/h mark. Doubt I could do that.

17-01-2023 3:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120303#Comment_120120303

This will be fine. It'll blow over in a few weeks max. You might get the odd text but just ignore it, if you don't feed into it she'll just get bored. In the unlikelihood that it escalates, you can get a barring order, but my friend merely threatened a guy with one of those recently and he backed off right away.

17-01-2023 3:39pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120381#Comment_120120381

Do you have a counselor now, is it a counseling psychologist or just a therapist? And is your GP prescribing you medication to help manage things alongside it?

TBH the psychiatrist isn't the most essential part here at this point, if you have a good therapist working in tandem with your GP that's a very good start. If the therapist isn't up to scratch, get a CP, they charge 60-90 an hour on a sliding scale. You could likely afford that once a month.

For the fitness stuff, all you need is any old tshirt and a pair of jogging pants you can pick up for less than 10e in Pennys.

17-01-2023 3:54pm

No, I've finished counselling. It was online 8 weeks through the HSE. Right now it's an Occupational Therapist and a Psychologist, but the latter is coming to an end soon. The waiting list I'm on there is for longer term psychology. I haven't had meds from a GP in quite a while. I also haven't been prescribed anything by the mental health team either because there was an incident. I asked to be put on a specific medication, they said no. Put me on two medications together, one of which I've been on before, caused Serotonin Syndrome. Was sitting at my desk took both meds at 10pm, by 11 I was falling forward in my chair, seeing static, eyes trying to force themselves shut, couldn't move my face, and collapsed on my bed :/

Next day I called them to explain what happened, and the advice I was given was "take one in the morning and one at night". I got very angry because y'know they could have killed me. And I've essentially scared them out of prescribing anything now.

I'll check out CPs

17-01-2023 4:06pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120474#Comment_120120474

Did you try what they suggested though? Did your GP diagnose serotonin syndrome? I’m asking because antidepressants can have seriously nasty side effects for the first few weeks in general, that’s not unusual and changing dosage or timing can often help.

I figured the counselling would just be a few weeks, the public service around mental health is shocking, but that’s good you’re on a list for something longer term.

So since that’s out of your hands for now, unless you go private, look what you can actually control: which would be joining the walking or the gym group.

So,

step 1: get suitable clothes

step 2: call your OT and ask when the next one is and organise to go

Just do one thing at a time.

17-01-2023 4:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120521#Comment_120120521

Yes, what they prescribed is what caused the serotonin syndrome. Confirmed by my GP. I've been on 9 or 10 ADs in the last two years. Wasn't a run of mill side effect.

Yeah I'll look into some suitable clothing.

farmingquestion · 17-01-2023 4:13pm

Do you ever browse tinder or whatever, see a girl and then see that she has only fans and think what a pity she does that.

I was browsing yesterday and saw a 22 year old with an incorrect age (45) on their profile with an instagram handle. (clearly trying to get the older men to pay for pics etc)

So went onto the instagram and there's posts from 6 or 7 years ago which would mean they were 15 or 16. There was pictures of the girl with her typical Irish mammy from that time. I just wonder what her mother thinks of her daughter being a prossie posting pics and videos of herself for strangers to look at.

You can almost see the date she started turning into a prossie, around January 2020. Nothing but bikini pics or half naked pics with comments like "looks good, tastes better" or "the only time I look back is when I look at my ass".

You'd wonder what will come of it in future. If she ends up having kids will her kids grow up to be told that their mother was selling naked pictures and videos to randomers online.

17-01-2023 4:15pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120532#Comment_120120532

Ah ok sorry, it sounded like you’d just tried it once. That’s a different story then. I understand why you’re reluctant.

Anyway as Father Jack would say, albeit slightly rephrased:

-clothes

-gym

-GIRLS

(in that order)😄👍

17-01-2023 4:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120556#Comment_120120556

Brilliant XD

17-01-2023 4:18pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120548#Comment_120120548

It wouldn’t be for me but having an only fans doesn’t make the girl a prostitute (I believe we’re meant to say “sex worker” now).

If she’s able to make a living off eejits paying to look at photos she takes in the safety of her home, and isn’t bothered by that, then fair fcuks to her.

Her going looking for them on dating sites is a bit sh1te though.

farmingquestion · 17-01-2023 4:30pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120566#Comment_120120566

That's what most of them do, that's where they advertise (for free)

I don't have any respect for them to be honest. Can't help how I feel. Imagine going out with someone when you know loads of random old men have seen her privates.

17-01-2023 4:44pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120626#Comment_120120626

Is it? I didn’t think that. Albeit I only know 3 girls doing it (and they definitely don’t do that, one being my friend’s girlfriend).

Mister Vain · 17-01-2023 4:55pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120626#Comment_120120626

It wouldn't bother me. If she's hot and you get a gaff out of it then happy days. I know a girl who was telling me she makes about 500 quid a week from her regular job, which is only a small portion of her income. The rest comes from OnlyFans. Herself and her boyfriend live in a nice house with a big ass BMW parked outside it.

gameoverdude · 17-01-2023 5:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120743#Comment_120120743

Definitely bother me. Beamer not of interest.

I've no issue with whatever as such, just not my cup of tea. I'm not going to judge.

17-01-2023 5:00pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120743#Comment_120120743

Yeah my friend’s GF is a gigging musician and OF brings her up to equiv of a solid full time wage. They live together and it doesn’t bother him.

I dunno how I’d feel about it though, if I was dating someone in it. So I get that. It’s like that guy I got the like from that I recognised from his thirst trap tik tok, that put me off.

Mister Vain · 17-01-2023 5:08pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120768#Comment_120120768

It depends on the person I suppose. The girl I was referring to went to college and seems very grounded. A really nice girl to talk to. If it was someone like that mad yoke that led the guards on a high speed chase on the M50 and got a big following on OF as a result, well that would be a different story. 😁

raclle · 17-01-2023 5:09pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120766#Comment_120120766

I am going to judge. Imagine if that was your daughter. Absolutely degrading so it is. You know those images don't just disappear. They might come to regret it in the long run.

17-01-2023 5:13pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120819#Comment_120120819

Why is it degrading though? Who makes it degrading? It’s not the women.

Plenty of women post bikini photos etc on IG. Plenty of models pose half naked, even completely naked, but that’s okay because we call them “models”?

Like I said, wouldn’t be for me, but I wouldn’t call it degrading.

farmingquestion · 17-01-2023 5:16pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120743#Comment_120120743

Yeah, it's just how I feel. Many others might feel different.

Some things are more important than money.

When she has a kid, how's she gonna feel when her kid gets sent videos of their mother getting a dildo shoved up her from classmates.

raclle · 17-01-2023 5:20pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120839#Comment_120120839

This topic came up on NT a few months ago and an OF woman in her 40s was being interviewed. She had three young kids in the house when she was recording and they all had to keep quiet or were sent to bed early. Now like the poster above mentioned imagine a few years down the line and her kids start getting bullied from her actions. This has a knock on effect for everyone involved.

17-01-2023 5:22pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120864#Comment_120120864

Will the kids be complaining if it funds their cars and college education though?

I dunno, I think the future generation is going to be a lot more open minded about this stuff, it’s already happening.

gameoverdude · 17-01-2023 5:28pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120819#Comment_120120819

Why not my son?

It's not my problem what people get up to. I won't judge, but it isn't for me.

Quite possibly, but again their choice.

raclle · 17-01-2023 5:37pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120877#Comment_120120877

Its more to do with their mentality and self-esteem than anything else. As the old saying goes money doesn't buy happiness

17-01-2023 5:45pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120929#Comment_120120929

Right, and I’m sure many do have self esteem issues. But many of them also don’t have any issues with self esteem & are just comfortable with doing it and happy with the income.

A woman can be proud to show off her body and happy to make money from that without having low self esteem or mental issues. It can be the opposite, I’d argue, in a lot of cases, they’re simply very confident in themselves and don’t give a sh1t.

I understand it can be shocking to some people, but when you find out someone you know does it and they’re just a normal genuine person in a stable longterm relationship, you start to see it much differently. I know I did!

17-01-2023 5:47pm

Back before I was a little heavy, I used to post some risqué pics of myself to Reddit. No financial incentive, just liked the comments. Wouldn't make a career out of it myself. Then again, I'm a bloke too, so it would be harder to be successful at.

As far as a partner having an Onlyfans is concerned, I wouldn't care unless she were to meet up with anyone paying for her stuff.

raclle · 17-01-2023 6:05pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120120966#Comment_120120966

I'm talking about the people around them. They seem to have no consideration for those who lets say might be targeted. People are cruel and will use it to their advantage. I don't think future generations are as open minded as you think. There's limits to what most will do.

17-01-2023 6:10pm

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120121052#Comment_120121052

Ah I disagree there. From speaking to my younger relatives in their teens up to my exes friends (early to mid 20s), they’re all very much chill with it overall. Another thing to consider is not everyone on OF is getting the vag out either, they know how to work it.

Not that it’s anyone’s business to judge regardless.

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