Is alcohol an excuse?

It's often presented as an excuse but should be treated as an aggravating factor.

Shouldn't be used as an excuse. Your guard drops under the influence. I'm a firm believer that if someone is always aggravated with drink on them, that deep down they're really like that but know its not acceptable when sober

It has been well established to be the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Very easy to just say it's a cause.

In many cases it's the sign of underlying issues and for the past couple of years I've done some work with St Patrick's hospital and it certainly gave me a totally different perspective.

Unfortunately the gardai in the main will simply treat someone with alcohol as a criminal and I believe that all gardai should spend a week in secondment to St Patrick's or similar and they may be able to get a different perspective.

In many cases it's used as a coping medication by people and sometimes as a cry for help.

Talk to them, don't admonish them.

It explains things. It doesn't excuse them.

Alcohol has never made me aggressive quite the opposite.

I read something recently that alcohol brings out and accentuates the real 'you' i.e. if your naturally aggressive it will bring that out or if your more passive it will bring that out too.

I don't believe that at all. When people whose personality changes for the worse on alcohol are confronted with what they've done or said, they're typically horrified. I think the lovely person that you see when they're sober is the real person.

Alcohol is literally a poison. Why anyone would think a poison brings out 'the real you' is beyond me.

Some people it doesn't make them act like complete arseholes, but contrary to what many 'happy drunks' think, I rarely witness any situation where it improves anyone's personality.

Both my parents, my grandfather, 3 of my uncles and my auntie on my mother's side, and two of my father's brother's were alcoholics. Most got sober but it killed me father. I didn't escape it either and it is something that plagued me for along time as a binge drinker who really couldn't handle it. I've woken up in jail cells, hospitals, random houses etc. not knowing how I got there.

People who don't understand it properly think it's just as simple as 'If it doesn't suit you, just don't do it.' Like, wow, why didn't I think of that?

In AA they say alcohol is 'cunning, baffling and powerful.' and it fkin is. It still baffles me why I persisted drinking when it was the cause of literally every major bit of trouble I ever had in my life. The allure of that buzz you get from the first few is very powerful. Unfortunately when you lose your inhibitions you don't just start talking louder and whatnot, you also lose the ability to control your intake.

For a person like me one drink triggers a compulsion to drink more and more. A normal drinker doesn't understand it but I would say don't look down on others just because you were born with the ability to have a few and leave it at that. There is huge pressure to drink in social situations, too, and walking through any town, even the supermarket, means you are basically surrounded all times by 'legal drug dealers.' (yes, booze is a drug).

The cunning bit is when you go off it, it is so easy to forget the horror of your last binge. The headache, dry mouth, diarrhea and nausea isn't even the worst part. The shame, self loathing, regret is crushing. You try to sleep and you can't and when you do you have terrible nightmares.

So when you still go out and do it again, that shows you how strong the addiction is. My uncle who was off it 15 years just went back on it and got a DUI and assaulted the cops. Pretty sure there's nothing about that that is 'the real him'. It's all booze fkin up your brain.

Again, complete nonsense IMO. Since kicking booze I've noticed most people are affected by alcohol very similarly. They get louder, sillier, more obstinate, repeat themselves and repeat the same stories, overestimate their ability to dance, their fighting prowess, their wittiness and sexual attractiveness. It doesn't vary that much, even amongst those who would be considered 'happy drunks'. They still get louder and more ridiculous, just not as obnoxious as some others.

But most people when drunk share those characteristics and it isn't 'what they're really like' at all. Most of them are fairly normal, polite, respectful, even shy people. They didn't show 'what they're really like' when drunk, and their inhibitions aren't some phony mask. Your inhibitions are there to protect you from socially unacceptable or harmful behaviour.

A fella I know went to a foreign stag years ago and got so drunk he ended up heading back to the hotel and passing out. When he awoke he found out there had been an awful incident. Somehow in the wee hours the groom to be thought it would be great craic to scale the side of a bridge going through the town. His mates were cheering him. Then the fella jumped into the river and drowned. No joke.

I doubt if either the man who jumped or his mates who thought it was funny are 'really like that.' This man was not suicidal, his friends didn't want him to do something so dangerous. They were inebriated and had lost all sense of what was right and wrong and safe and not.

You don't find out what people are really like after a skinful. Most of the time the things they say would be hard to make much sense out of, or is just idle pub talk, 'Och, sure look it... Blahblahblah'. You rarely gain major insights into their personality or even hear anything memorable whatsoever.

Yes and no. We all say or do stupid things when we're drunk. It's the level of stupidity that matters. If someone does something harmful, they should say sorry. If they continuously do stuff like that they should stop drinking and possibly see a therapist.

I know a fella who is as laid back and easy going as you will get but if he drinks whiskey he shows a completely different side which is not nice! Never once sober has he shown any indication of this

Drink I always found a nice relaxant.

never understood why people get aggressive when drunk,

'Taste' is completely subjective, what 'tastes nice' and 'doesn't taste nice' is influenced by so many factors nobody can make a blanket statement about everyone fooling themselves that alcohol tastes nice.

People drink alcohol for all kinds of reasons. The range goes all the way from alcoholics drinking hand sanitizer in hospitals to get out of it to people spending 15 euro on a crafted cocktail which tastes delicious.

I can only imagine the alcohol related horrors you've seeing as your time as a Garda. However, you have to remember, in a role like that, you are seeing absolute worst of it - in reality, hundreds of thousands of people in Ireland drink alcohol on a regular basis without issue.

I love a good pint. I don't get **** faced, I don't go out clubbing off my face, I don't attack anyone. I do love going to my local with my friends and having a few Guinness, which is completely and utterly harmless.

Fair, and I understand that. I tried out the alcohol free stuff for a while but that's what made me believe we fool ourselves into thinking it's nice, because of the effects. Take that away and you're left with, imo, horrible liquids. Re: the cocktails, even I enjoyed them because you are effectively changing the taste enough to make it palatable, or in most cases completely over-riding the taste of alcohol. I've no doubt more people would be drinking them if they weren't so prohibitively expensive.

And yes, seeing just the negative side for long enough has changed me as a person, and because of my experiences I'm totally against people using alcohol as an excuse, because I've seen the hurt it causes when it's accepted as such. We're too soft on drink here because of our relationship with it, from simple public order to drink driving. And I've nothing against those who do use it as a social event and don't cause hassle or annoyance to others.

But yes, completely subjective. I still think most people fool themselves though.

I love a few pints now and then but if I have too many I fall asleep. It relaxes me but since COVID I've been drinking a lot less. I lost interest in it and also found some alcohol free beers I like and I buy them most of the time. I'd probably get drunk by sniffing a beermat these day as I haven't been on a good session in over 3 years. I don't miss it.

I had a great friend for several years whose drinking got worse and worse and he would always get suddenly aggressive (verbally only) on a night out and start berating his wife or me. We had words with him about his behaviour when he was sober as did the rest of his family but to no avail, the next day it would be the same thing. He refused therapy or AA.

Eventually I had to sever contact with him just before COVID, I couldn't take it any more. It's sad to lose a friend but the person I became friends with was long gone. Still in touch with his wife who tells me he's not any better, and she has plans for her near future that no longer include him.

And beer, wine and spirits are enjoyed by most people without drama.

what ever emotion is really going on, deep down in a person, alcohol brings it out (as it lowers inhibitions).. prob other reasons too... its far from black and white

It's not harmless to your body, but in the bigger scheme of things I agree.

I really wonder what Ireland would be like without alcohol. I kind of get a glimpse of it with 20 somethings who are getting more health conscious and into fitness.

Yeah, but we all know miracles don't happen. In fact, and mostly due to 2 years of lockdown, more people are drinking again. Problem with that is, even more people are using it to cope...

They may not attack anyone but I can guarantee you no person who regularly gets shitfaced drunk just gets away with doing it all the time without causing any harm to themselves or those close to them. They may think it's a good idea to dance on the table and fall and break a bone, they may miss work, lose important possessions etc. I've known plenty people who didn't become aggressive necessarily but their family, partners etc were worried every time they went out until they landed home because of the way they carried on. And in many cases they did actually get pretty cantankerous when confronted about their alcohol abuse but it was behind closed doors so no one would necessarily see it.

I have to say I really envy the people in this thread who are mystified by the way some people react to alcohol because it doesn't affect them the same way at all. Count yourselves lucky. Most people at least have one relative with drink issues but not all I suppose. At the same time it's frustrating at times because such people can sometimes seem to look down on others who can't just drink normally. But they just don't understand it. Whereas I can't under how someone stops after a few drinks. When I try to do it, it is either a) absolute torture and makes drinking kinda pointless or b) and this is by far the most common result: I'm completely unsuccessful and end up, for example, still in the pub at closing time with the loaf of bread and litre of milk I bought in town at 4 pm, minutes before the thought of 'just having one or two' even entered me head.