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What would you do if you were dictator of Ireland?

  • 13-02-2023 6:00am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 60 ✭✭Qŵèrþÿ


    I would ban access you YouTube, Twitter, TikTok and instagram thereby removing the platform from influencers.

    I would ban the sale, import, transportation or production of fake tan.

    I would ban reality television, love island etc.

    I would ban Mrs. Brown’s Boys.

    I would remove all prose, poetry, etc from the Irish syllabus and focus solely on speaking the language. If that still doesn’t work I’d simply let it die a death.

    I’d abolish the unfair rule whereby people who answer their LC paper in Irish get 10% extra.

    I would ban e scooters and Fido bikes and make it compulsory to drive over anyone on one.

    I would introduce a secret police. The presence of a secret police (secret in terms of the individual members and not the organisation itself) would be a great deterrent against crime.

    I would abolish inheritance tax.

    I would save money by slashing foreign aid, stop paying dole and welfare to non-Irish citizens, smash the public sector unions, abolish DB pensions in the PS, defund ridiculous organisations like pavee point and NWCI.

    I would still allow some elected individuals so I can gauge public opinion but I would still have overall final say. I would not entertain gender quotas and I would ban election posters.

    Burning at the stake for people who litter.

    Post edited by Qŵèrþÿ on


«134

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 60 ✭✭Qŵèrþÿ


    More to follow



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,493 ✭✭✭Rosahane


    Ban GAA football so the good kids would play rugby and we would be the top rugby nation in the world.

    I’d leave hurling for the loonies and soccer for the softies 😂



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    id Build solid infrastructure, (what have done lately?)


    im in France at the minute and decided a proper underground rail system cannot be built from scratch in a nation that has health and safety processes and no slave labour for less than 10 trillion



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,187 ✭✭✭screamer


    I’d ban and disband all trade unions

    make a 4 day work week compulsary

    id introduce a scheme to front the cost of house deposits to first time buyers, and recoup it from their tax credits over their working lifetime or take a stake in the house

    id lift the restrictions on building houses in the countryside

    I’d provide free buses for kids for school in all areas and I’d tax parents a congestion tax who want to drop them to school in cars

    escooters would need a licence and insurance to be taken on roads and footpaths or else limit them to a very low speed

    id make a law that any politicians who are found guilty of misconduct in office have no pension.

    no dole payments unless you work for it. I’d pay the dole money to the employers and they can top it up, but no long term layabouts tolerated

    Free childcare for workers

    widen the tax base and everyone would pay some tax

    ban data centre building

    invest in hydrogen generation

    replace the points system for third level and overhaul the apprenticeship programs so that colleges are responsible for the trainees so that employers can’t take advantage of them, and dump them in third year.

    reform road tax to be based on car value much like property tax

    overhaul the refugee program and have faster decision making. Anyone who comes in with no papers goes into direct provision centres, and are processed faster, and returned to port of origin if they don’t qualify. Economic migrants turned back unless they have visas, and I’d overhaul the rules about bringing in their families once granted asylum too. Any of them break the law, back they go

    id outsource our prison services to some hell hole country and send the worst offenders there to complete their sentences.

    Airline travel would be limited to a certain air mile quota every year per person, above that a nice hefty tax to offset emissions



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 195 ✭✭FoxForce5


    Make Enoch burke minister for education.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 765 ✭✭✭foxsake


    apart from the fax tan ban , i'm kinda all in here with the support

    I like fake fan on an irish cailin - of course there are disasters but overall it's nice.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,547 ✭✭✭KaneToad


    I'd increase inheritance tax.

    Also, OP, you don't currently get 10% extra for doing a LC through Irish...



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Invade England to liberate Scotland & Wales.

    Find anyone who either asks "what would you do if you were dictator or Ireland?" Or anyone who considers any answer bar "there should be no dictator"...

    And kill them.

    There can be only one.

    Last Rat.

    Post edited by [Deleted User] on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,234 ✭✭✭amacca


    I'd put a lot of solicitors etc out of business by actually punishing crime, particularly repeat offenders, in a way that really is a deterrent.......


    Judge Nolan would be shot out of a cannon into the Irish sea repeatedly until he stopped coming back.


    Re-election as a politician would have a lot to do with achieving some sort of incremental improvement within your brief as measured by a realistic metric/benchmark....as would renumeration and pension entitlements (which would be very generous)


    The insurance industry would be brought to heel somehow.


    Wouldn't be long till there would be a bloody coup and I'd be shot out of a cannon.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,526 ✭✭✭XsApollo


    Remove any type of social welfare for reoffending criminals, they should be made work for local councils to receive it.


    mandatory Jail sentences for re offenders also.

    tougher mandatory sentences for more serious offences.

    Mandatory life sentences / death penalty for convicted child abusers, peadophiles and murderers

    reform the HSE( not a dig at front line staff ) it’s a money pit and highly inefficient , everybody in the service would benefit for improving it.

    remove the ethnic minority status of travellers, sure they can live their lives as they see fit within the laws of this country.

    lower the age that people can be tried as adults, especially for reoffending and more serious crimes.

    parents should bear some responsibility for the actions of their children and as such can be made do time or fined as a result.

    abolish inheritance tax.

    reform the social welfare, higher pension payments and lower payments to people that don’t contribute.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,140 ✭✭✭Gregor Samsa


    I’d probably just leave things the way they are, it’s grand really.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I'd change the title of TD to Tiddy and leave everything else as is.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,653 ✭✭✭✭cj maxx


    Halve the number of national politicians. Absolutely no need for so many TD’s and Senators. Redraw county borders to make counties more or less similar in area and population. , then give each one the power to raise their own taxes for roads, infrastructure etc. This probably means splitting Dublin up .Arm Gardaí . Allow Judges to be sacked or removed if they are nuts . Reform the sentencing system so if you do the crime you actually do time . Build a new prison in Athlone .Create a new national security force that has full powers to do what I decide. Unite Ireland and the Scottish Highlands and Islands in a pan gaelic country, seizing the nuclear weapons in Scotland. Taking back Rockall . Reintroduce deer and rabbits to the countryside . A life sentence of hard labour for anyone who doubts the existence and primacy of Monaghan



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Vindicate all conspiracy theorists by sending them to a firing squad. This new government really is out to get you.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,552 ✭✭✭✭Grayson


    Each week words beginning with a particular letter of the alphabet are banned. The letter will be chosen every Sunday night from a big lotto type machine. From 12:01 am Monday morning words starting with that letter are illegal to be typed, written or spoken out loud.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭Photobox


    Ban electronic scooters





  • Always felt you had to be either mad in your head or brave as all hell to play hurling tbh

    like the whack I’ve seen some poor fcukers get of a hurl and they barely seem bothered.. how?😂



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,090 ✭✭✭Photobox


    Edit.. See its already mentioned unsurprisingly



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 657 ✭✭✭Hungry Burger


    I’d get rid of the county’s.

    The four provinces would get their own devolved parliaments and county lines wouldn’t serve any official purpose.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,304 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious


    I'd remove the barriers to housebuilding (planning, local needs, etc) and solve the housing crisis for once and for all. I'd then committee identify a list of populist measures I could drip feed while in power. Being a dictator wouldn't be easy, within moments of being installed as dictator the EU will make a move to kick Ireland out since dictatorships aren't allowed in the EU. Dictators may have a lot of power but they can still be deposed. A lot of dictators resort to brutality and suppression of civil liberties to cling onto power but I reckon that is only a fool's game and not a viable long term strategy to stay in power.

    I reckon with the right amount of dripfeeding of populist measures I would be able to cling onto power without needing riot police to regularly bate the sh1te out of people or have secret agents toss my enemies from windows. What remains to be seen is would it be enough to quell the dissent from the fallout of Ireland becoming a dictatorship (kicked out of EU, megacorps leaving). Where a lot of dictators go wrong is they implement a whole raft of measures at the start followed by a prolonged period of sitting idle, having big palaces with swimming pools built for themselves and generally being useless. Therefore I think it is essential to come out with at least one populist measure every couple of months to placate the baying mob.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,347 ✭✭✭paul71


    I would abdicate before I was killed.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,505 ✭✭✭dunnerc


    Split Kerry in 2 😁



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 40,802 CMod ✭✭✭✭ancapailldorcha


    Make Irish optional, abolish the TV licence fee or ban ads on RTE, loosen planning restrictions around housing, force councils to build or permit social housing and legalise weed. I'd have to go a bit mad at some point though and make it illegal to wake a sleeping cat, subsidise cat food, vets and so on. Cats are awesome.

    The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

    Leviticus 19:34



  • Posts: 2,725 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    People who let their dog shît on the street and in parks and who don’t clean up after them should be fined thousands of euros, named and shamed on filthy.ie, and have their pet taken off them.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭GerardKeating


    I'd give more that that for doing the leaving through Irish, also it would be a prerequisiting for any Gaelteacht grants that all the kids in the family would be fully educated throught irish.

    Maybe more that four regional parliments,

    • Mallow (for Cork/Kerry)
    • Limerick (for Clare/Limerick/Tipp)
    • Galway (for Galway/Mayo/Roscommom
    • Sligo (for Sligo/Leitrim/Donegal)
    • Kilkenny (for South Leinster)
    • Swords (for North Dublin)
    • Tallaght (for the south side)
    • Dun laoghaire
    • Dublin (for the past not in Swords/Tallaght/Dun laoghaire)
    • Athlone (for the Midlands)
    • Navan (for North Leinster & Cavan/Monaghans)




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭GerardKeating


    To be pedantic, they are already banned, just it not enforce.I think snipers would have a good enforcement method



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭GerardKeating


    Might be more effective to smear it on thier face or make them swallow it. Some people have no shame and deep pockets.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,815 ✭✭✭GerardKeating


    and merge one half into Limerick, and there other half into Cork.



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  • Posts: 13,688 ✭✭✭✭ Jason Faint Oboist


    Ban private health insurance.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,137 ✭✭✭✭Geuze


    We already have few LA, as all the town councils were abolished in 2014.

    We reduced the number of LA from 114 I think, to 31.

    Our LA are very large already, compared to LA abroad.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 838 ✭✭✭kazamo




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,137 ✭✭✭✭Geuze



    We live in a free market, how can a particular service be banned, without very good reason?

    Most if not all countries have health insurance for sale.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,693 ✭✭✭Sgt Hartman


    I'd ban tobacco products, impose much tougher sentences on scrotes & repeat offenders, and I'd ban Tuesdays also, it's the worst day of the week.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,436 ✭✭✭✭cnocbui


    I guarantee, you don't want to know.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 838 ✭✭✭kazamo


    I would

    • ban Maura Higgins, Rox Purcell and their like from the public airwaves
    • RTE would be banned from filling their schedule with endless repeats….that’s what the RTE player is for
    • give Sinn Fein power to fix all the problems…..they have all the answers and they constantly moan about the current government not fixing everything inside six months
    • Ireland stops sending entrants to the Eurovision……waste of time and effort
    • kneecap cyclists who cycle on footpaths….same with scooters
    • put 2000% tax on the high end smart phones……money is no issue for those people anyway
    • castration without pain relief for all rapists and paedos…….one ball at a time, with a month in between…..then cut it off like Lorena Babbitt did.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,380 ✭✭✭✭Strumms


    • Leave the EU and limit immigration down to a trickle. Seriously limit the help made available, the basics of life, nothing more.. no housing, basic accommodation only. Cut social welfare. They don’t have the same overheads or drainage on finances. If you are receiving enough money to recirculate some of it to your homeland, you are getting too much… the housing crisis is a myth, one that’s in the media courtesy of the politicians , it’s actually an expanding population crisis.
    • build more hospitals, including specialist facilities, for rehabilitative treatments and so on with state of the art inpatient alter-g treatments, hydrotherapy etc….Slash waiting lists everywhere for everything.
    • build metro, expanded dart and wider more far reaching suburban rail…nationwide
    • Build a super prison, one double the capacity of mountjoy… change legislation so that the law is effective and enforced and judges seriously punish violent criminals and repeat offenders. Repeat offenders for any level of crime. ie two strikes get hit with custodial sentences. The primary goal of the criminal justice system should be to protect decent citizens from crime and criminals and also punish and deter recidivists. It’s a zillion light years from that. Be extremely harsh and cruel towards violent criminals ..
    • ban escooters. There ain’t the resources to police them. Which the urchins know which is why they’re used in the widespread overtly dangerous manner that the are…. The max speed is too high yet they are seen daily ploughing along on pathways and bike lanes, operated by inbred tulips with not the judgment, care, or want to consider those of us with just the temerity to want to get from A to B safely and without drama or near misses.




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 576 ✭✭✭Dr Karl


    Introduce Sharia Law. Too much criminality and anti-social behavior in this country. Judges don't care, constantly giving bail to repeat offenders and then giving them suspended sentences. Every Friday the offenders would be dealt with by use of removing a limb eg throw eggs at somebody lose an arm.

    Junkies and their family sterilized and males castrated. This would apply at birth to their children.

    No more religious holidays eg December 25th would be a normal working day, so would be Saint Patrick's Day, St Brigid's Day, Easter Monday and Good Friday.

    The civil servants should be back in their offices for the full week not the couple of days they are now. They should work a minimum of 40 hours a week not the 34 they do now. Public services should be available 7 days a week eg you should be able to talk to someone in the Revenue, Social Protection and every other government department at 4pm on a Sunday afternoon if you wish. Opening hours would from at least 6am to 10pm.

    RTE should be just a news service. Reduce staffing by 95%. It shouldn't be considered the employer of last resort for out of work journalists. And no more musicals.

    Give all people of Irish descent access to an Irish passport/nationality. No more grandparent rule.

    Defund all NGOs.

    No more overseas aid. Matt Cooper made Nelson Mandela angry when he questioned him about the amount of money Africa nations spend on arms.

    Post edited by Dr Karl on


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Send Miggeldy to Cuba permanently

    defund RTE ( subscription channell )

    defund the vast majority of NGO,s ( Pavee point first for culling)

    set up a specialist unit in AGS to tackle traveller crime

    introduce a flat tax of 17% for everyone including corporations

    On crime , convictions won’t be held against those who serve sentences but then have problems being accepted for jobs but will effect welfare payments



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 944 ✭✭✭thegame983


    Reinstate prima nocta.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 967 ✭✭✭mountai


    Jail Bertie.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Id probably invade the north with such force that nobody would want it ever again.

    Id make learning Gaeilge compulsory & members of the ethnic minority will have to wear trackers for life upon conviction.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,872 ✭✭✭✭fits


    I’d buy up land in towns and villages that is close to public transport and services. I’d put in infrastructure and divide into sites and sell them to people to build what they want on them.

    in cities I’d identify higher density areas close to transport and mandate at least three story apartment blocks with assigned and generous storage in the basements and good bike parking etc.

    id ban cars and buses etc altogether from some minor routes in cities and make them into active travel routes so that children could actually travel safely by bike.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,986 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005


    Anyone who writes etc. in a list of items, expecting me to know what they mean, would be eliminated.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 37,040 ✭✭✭✭BorneTobyWilde


    I'd put an end to a softy softy approach to the traveling community, they'd work, they'd pay their way, they'd pay for their crimes like all other citizens, equality .



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,986 ✭✭✭✭dxhound2005




  • Posts: 13,688 ✭✭✭✭ Jason Faint Oboist




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 277 ✭✭purplefields


    By 'Dictator of Ireland' - you mean boss of FFG. Ireland has been ruled by the same party (FFG) since the foundation of the State. To me, this effectively a dictatorship. You get the impression of choice when it's election time, but this is a façade. If there was real choice, then surely over the last 100 years there would be some other body, other than FFG, in charge, if only for a small period of time.

    Now that that is out of the way, I would revoke most laws. Ireland at this stage has probably the most laws of any country. More Laws = less freedom



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 34 FrankLeeSpeaking


    Build the DART Underground, Metro and complete Luas ASAP. Cork Tram System and water feed from Shannon to Dublin. Make the current rail system the best it can be for moving people and freight.

    Abolish NGOs

    Stop funding RTE and make TG4 the national broadcaster.

    Stop all unvetted immigration/open borders

    Abolish all transgender politics in schools and the health service. Keep drag queens away from children and women's toilets.

    Build modern Oil and Gas power station and get away from wind nonsense.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,032 ✭✭✭McTigs


    Good luck building anything if you leave the EU



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