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Dry patch how to talk to partner

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    #32
    amdublin
    Registered Users Posts: 20,653 ✭✭✭✭amdublin


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120306871#Comment_120306871

    Okay so ignore all this pure drivel here to start.


    OP, I agree with all the other posters, this needs to be addressed and rectified now. Please don't get married thinking it will just happen/change.

    Would you consider relationship guidance counselling?



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    #33
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Post deleted and warning applied for breach of charter for off topic rant



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    #34
    Jarhead_Tendler
    Registered Users Posts: 1,194 ✭✭✭Jarhead_Tendler


    At least there are no kids involved. Run quickly and find somebody that is attracted to you. Your now GF can still be your friend or whatever it is she wants



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    #35
    whiteframe
    Registered Users Posts: 4 ✭whiteframe


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120311229#Comment_120311229

    That's easily said. How do you know that 8 years into the next relationship you won't find yourself in exactly the same situation?



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    #36
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120314694#Comment_120314694

    Because it's not normal, that's why.


    OP have a talk with her. If there is something specific wrong you've got a chance. If she just has that level of sex drive you need to make a decision



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    #37
    raclle
    Registered Users Posts: 2,373 ✭✭✭raclle


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120314773#Comment_120314773

    There's obviously something specific wrong if she won't get changed in front of him. Goes a lot deeper than just running away.



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    #38
    AerLingus747
    Registered Users Posts: 510 ✭✭✭AerLingus747


    a relationship without sex is just a friendship...

    don't feel obligated to stay on a sinking ship just because you've been through a lot.... if you're in a relationship 8 years and haven't been through a lot, what would you have been doing?

    you'll get a lot of "oh but you love her don't you... etc.." comments, but at the end of the day, if you want sex, and you're struggling to get it at 30, do you really want to be doing this for another 20/30/40.... years?

    I'd cut and run, if you've done what you've said, you've broached the subject numerous times....

    It's also not up to you to burden yourself with other peoples deep seated issues, you can't help them if they don't want to help themselves...

    And who knows, maybe a bit of riding around might actually do the both of you the world of good



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    #39
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,539 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Hi OP, Have you ever discussed counseling?

    I think you both may need to do some counselling separately at first, then together as a couple. it doesn't sound like this is just a case of your partner having a low sex drive, it sounds like she has real issues with her body, and your reassurance by itself is simply not enough for her to get past whatever those issues are.

    Instead of trying to talk her into having sex, talk to her about trying counseling first. If things don't improve, or your partner is not open to trying, then you have a tough decision to make.



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