What's the etiquette here??

Thanks Doc, guess I’ve been off my “game” of late. Had some disturbing messages indirectly sent my, and another user’s, way, from another site. You know “the one”.

The Scotland game didn’t help. Really “churned” things up. Got a fair bit of grief for the smell in the bedroom on Monday morning. Very meaty.

Will hopefully have it all “shaken off” by Saturday. Have my ticket secured so can’t complain but it’s going to be an early start and with Mother’s Day on the Sunday it’s going to be some marathon.

I would support that E.

Was out walking to the slab after a long boring meeting with lots of rich foods.

The even relatively short walk to the car ‘shifted the load’ to a condition I immediately knew was critical and needed

immediate attention.

Back to the building conducting the ‘take off’ procedures as I went. Belt off- check.. Zip down- check ..sphinct tight and locked- check..both hands free to complete manoeuvres-check.

Straight into the traps, swivelled and dropped the gear and the arse cheeks and let go!

Now what happened after was bad, I was used to a ‘comfort height’ pan at home and this one was very low and the seat up.

When the meat didn’t hit the pewter as expected I panicked thinking I had missed the pot entirely and tried to abort.

Too late! Spewed rank dark green gouts of loose scutther all over the furniture and on the floor.

Barely kept my balance… covered the load with wads of paper.. no chance of cleaning and exited rapidly.

Hope nobody slipped on it!!

hi all,first time poster,first time signer-upper,very informative read(havnt read all of it yet) thanks for all your input or should it be output?😁

We’re there any fabric bench seats there Parsnipp?

Would be surprised if you didn’t spool out a quart of sour piss into those?

Bit of dampness in the crotch, maybe , might apply,but could shut down the kip for an hour or two.

Been a tough 24 hours here in head office. Cleaner went home sick late on Wednesday. Didn't take long for the place, especially the traps, to descend in to chaos. 2 of the 5 were quickly out of action with haycocks of midden & paper and the rest were little better than glorified portaloos by lunchtime.

From what I heard the ladies didn't fair much better. There's a couple of big Wans work in accounts (type where you'd need a Safe Word) who no doubt walk away from real bowl-busters.

The agency sent in a couple of stony faced replacements this morning. They took it in their stride and had order restored fairly quickly. They're outside having a well earned smoke now.

Give him a heads up of 2 tablespoons of cod liver oil. When that thing exits it’s going to be very hard, and very dry.

Anything that help “grease the wheels” will be welcomed.

Should say the pain is bad but wandering around with an itchy grainy passage is killing me. Awful feeling. Been on the pot all weekend and I can’t get the grains and granules out as it is just too damn sore.

Still very painful. Feel like someone poured a bag of sand and gravel down my crack. Farted into the cushion at the breakfast table this morning and shot a film of clear liquid into the fabric through my boxers. Had to rinse the cushion in the kitchen sink as the smell from the wet spot was very bad (fecal). Was worried wife would ask what I was doing but she was just staring at the women’s supplement from the Times or Indo.

Reminds me of these, YTM:

I’d be very worried about malfunctions with any motorised, or wind up, mechanisms near the arsal area.

The ol Ronco looks the biz.

Get a receipt after every 'transaction' n all..

what about the Japanese type crappers?how do they fair out?