Maintainance order variation

I realise you are under pressure financially, which is a hard place to be. But you agreed to loan repayments of 177 per week, but expect your child to make do with 40?

Can you restructure the college loan to a longer term to make repayments more affordable?

If your child is not being directly cared for by you at all, I would think it's not a lot to expect you would pay a minimum of €10 per day, which is €70 per week, and not vastly different from what you pay already. You would be spending a lot more than this if your child lived with you.

There are support groups for separated and divorced people that are mentioned elsewhere on this forum, you might find them helpful.

All the best.

So, if I have this correctly, you came over here to do a masters, got someone pregnant, and now want the Irish taxpayer to take responsibility so you won't have to?

Bad news - it doesn't (or shouldn't) work like that - the child is yours, you now need to man up and take responsibility, even if that's difficult for you. Restructure your loans, stop paying your mothers bills, and do whatever else is required to live up to your responsibilities.

Hi again op. I agree your situation does not seem straightforward as your visa is tied to your job so further / different employment is not really a option for you.

If you are not legally your child's guardian this should be your immediate priority. Not knowing where they live is not an acceptable situation.

On an ongoing basis, do you want more access than a weekly visit in the park? If so, this should also be a priority to have this legally formalised. If you are not in a suitable living situation for overnight stays, you can still bring your child out for the day yourself and develop a relationship with them. Playing an active role in your child's life is far more important and meaningful than a bank transfer.

Financially, could mabs.ie help you? I think you need to restructure your loans so the repayments are more affordable.

Make sure all maintenance you pay is into a bank account so that there is an official record. I would expect that taking steps to play a more active role in your child's life would be viewed favourably by the court, as would restructuring your loans to facilitate ongoing maintenance payments.

If you make a good argument, and demonstrate your willingness to engage in the system and prioritise your child, that should reflect well on you in court. However, I would not recommend proposing maintenance of less than €60 per week, it's just too low.

And by the way, I admire you for assisting your mother, nobody here knows your personal circumstances and it reflects well on you that you are providing support to her.

All the best.

Loueze I think you might be forgetting that you know nothing of the OP's country of origin or the needs of his mother. In Ireland the state would provide what she needs, but this is not at all the case in many other parts of the world.

His child is not going to go hungry or be homeless because of the support he provides to his mother.

I personally think this shows how the entire system of maintenance is poorly structured. Within a family unit, people are empowered to choose to budget, spend, cut back, treat etc depending on their means. With maintenance, no matter what is going on it has to be paid on time, every week, with zero input into how it is spent.

The OP has a low enough salary to survive on in Dublin, he does not live in his own home as the child and their mother do, he houseshares. Doesn't sound like he has a car either, so is not likely to be living an extravagant lifestyle at the expense of his child.

There is definitely not any minimum of €75 per week in place. I know this from personal experience. Many fathers now directly care for their children half the time or close to it. In that case, what would the €75 be for? If anything amounts have dropped, with the recession, expensive rents due to housing crisis, and state supports such as gp care, preschool, hap etc all increasing.

I've read some moralising dumb stuff before ..but this...

Lots of countries round the world don't have social welfare. Family are the only support.

Loueze you have just stated €75 was an amount that the court moved upwards or downwards from. Therefore it is not an established minimum as you claimed.

Also, if your experience was 20 years ago it was during the celtic tiger and predates the recession, a completely different economic circumstance to now.

If you read my posts, I suggested several times to the op that €40 pw maintenance was too low.

The mother and child currently appear to have far superior rights and living arrangements to the OP, with state support, while his work and visa arrangements mean his situation is precarious.

I'm not at all bashing mothers, just that you seem unwilling to acknowledge these facts and the particular circumstances at play here.

It came across badly in the OP when he suggested reducing to €40 per week, but he is a Dad who is voluntarily paying €85 maintenance per week for his child, even though it appears he cannot afford it. He is trying to figure out how he can manage to continue to provide on an ongoing basis. I don't think he deserves to be insulted and so heavily criticised.

Presumably his mother does not live in Ireland.

He is putting his child before his mother, paying more than four times the amount for the child. The child has two parents, not just one.

It's very common for a parent to spend time or money caring for their own parent, particularly in times of ill health or old age. It's a generally accepted part of life. It could be argued that this is always time or money that could be otherwise spent on their children. But nobody in my experience would berate them for doing this, let alone accuse them of ducking out on their obligations to their children.

I've no idea why you are so hung up on this point?