What's the etiquette here??

I, personally, would be very hesitant to let a robot, or AI powered machine, to fire jets of heated water at my “badge”, Babs.

Whether by chance, or nefarious design, one could be “out of action” for weeks if the temperature was set to scald.

Things don’t need to be “overcomplicated”. A solid bowl, good seat, powerful flush and no more than 3 plys in the paper are all that is required.

Jaysus, are these guys challenged or something if the think Pat will pay a blind bit of notice to ‘signage’

I was walking in another similar area north of the Bull Island recently and spied a sign ‘Dogs on lead only, clean up after your dog”

And there was a big tosser, big Gaa head on him, with a black Labrador dog spooling his guts out right under the sign!! No clean up ..no fuhherke all!!

I kept moving…..

Very technical question dude, no easy answer.

A solid ‘nothing but net’ delivery could lead to just a dab of two folded squares dabbed into the muzzle.

Leave what’s called the ‘ tan rosette’ on the paper.

A heavier more girthy bolus might take four squares taking account of a possible ‘loose round’ towards the end.

A full blown well baked overdone ‘watery cloudburst ‘spread over the muzzle could go into double figures and in extreme conditions maybe bring in the towel into play if on private property.

Could require the ‘skids’ to be sacrificed, or if in Africa,fistful of the local paper money if on public property.

Few hundred ‘bucks’ should clear even the worse ‘rimshot’….price of a bottle of Zambezi?

Special section on Japan and Sth Korea some other time.

Hope that helps.

as many as it takes to do the job...

Hi guys. I mentioned a bit further up the thread that I was suffering from an itchy and grainy-feeling hoop with quite a lot of inflammation and tenderness.

I thought you all would be interested to know the cause, as I have definitively solved this particular riddle.

It is caused by my vaping habit. Same has now happened to the wife, and we’ve been able to single the cause down to the vapes through trial and error. Wife is on the triple melon all the time and I’m hitting either the lemonade pop or the the double grape. A couple of days of excessive use leads to gas and air trapped between the formed up particles of stool. I believe too much nicotine is the issue. Feels like a spiders nest inside or around the surface of your hoop. A couple more days on the pipe and the inner buttock cheeks become swollen and difficult to clean. Area becomes irritated after over use of toilet paper causing grazing, knicks and blood.

I do love a hit of the vape when I’m out for a few pints with the lads but some days recently I’ve had trouble walking normally such is the aggravation.

No that’s first to get the worst off then tissue or cotton wool

vape myself now after smoking 40 major a day for near 40yrs...i offer a guess its what ever is in the particular vape your using...never had a problem like that in the arse department either on the smokes or with the vaping...some great rippers of farts though! maybe fart more?

Things have been great the last few weeks , but I still don’t trust myself . I felt a fart coming on so i sat down ( on the bowl ) What followed was a steady stream of pure black , Guinness like , liquid. Even as I write this I have a gurgling stomach !!

Well , not allowed into the house definitely 👍

God damn it... I just love popping in here for a sniff every now and then. Top top content.

Can I ask - purely out of curiosity - how often every one goes? And, is it (the timing) regular?

I find (Male, 44) that I'm a once a day - usually as soon as I'm up out of the scratcher - say 7am ish. Job done. Rinse and repeat.

Good lad, very regular, that’s a good thing.

Bit irregular myself, I find the diet or menu and sometimes attitude is usually the ‘trigger’ to unload .

For instance was returning ‘up country’ from an important company meeting,feeling quite bloated.

Popped into an establishment for a quick bite and was confronted by a sour kernt who obviously didnt want to be there. After slapping down my grub on the table with a grunt charged me an arm and a leg!!

Right son, I said to myself, had a ripe lad ‘fully established ‘ into the only lavvie and shrouded the pot and seat

with sour drittle.

Left immediately reckoning the gimp would at least 30 mins ‘repairing’ the carnage.

Fokking knobb.

work shifts so the actual time varies...wake up,brew up a proper coffee in one of them Italian coffee pots,warm some milk...sip that first mug and give it a few minutes to perculate...hit the crapper and without fail drop a log that would have a B52 struggle on takeoff...

School holiday time in Chez Slideways.

So when I got the house empty to myself I chucked the kettle on and made myself a proper big mug of Barry’s tea. Two tea bags and just a splash of milk to have it mahogany coloured. Grabbed a few shortbread creams to go with and popped the wireless on.

All of a sudden the big brown bear was banging on the back door and he had his wetsuit on.

Picked up the mug of tae and the bickies and made straight for the throne. No sense wasting a two bag drop of tae like.

Not sure how it came about but I never heard the door open and in waltzes the better half and catches me mid slurp, mouth full of shortbread cream and crumbs falling into the throne beneath my naked legs.

To say it’s being all picture and no sound since is a bit of an understatement. Now I can understand how some prudish folk would turn their nose up at such a situation but fuçk it lads, I’m not making salad sandwiches for a wake while I’m sitting on the bog. Tis a harmless incident? Right?