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Bald in my 20s

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  • 24-04-2023 4:12pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 293 ✭✭


    I went bald in my early 20s.

    Having had a great head of curly brown hair - I didn't take it lightly, but I dealt with it in what was deemed a respectable way, I never messed with any medications, didn't opt for a transplant - I just shaved it off.

    It felt very liberating - literal weight off my shoulders. I feel good about myself most days, my head doesn't look like a ballsack, nor is it lopsided, it's just clean shaved. Virtually every night out I have had guys coming up to me talking about their experiences or just complimenting me.. It's always welcome. I know I'm not alone in all of this. Even last weekend we got onto the topic of it and a few of the girls complimented me on my confidence surrounding it, how I own it - and I do own it..

    At 25, I've been bald for 3 years, shaving it for most of that, dealing with male pattern baldness in the 'manly' way.

    But I can't help feel that it's holding me back.

    I'm not exactly a shoe-in with the ladies, it's staggering change from my pre-bald years. I'm not a tall guy (5'7, haven't let that bother me), I've also never looked like a greek god, but when I had hair I had more interest, far more options. Tinder was a lot more active, and girls were the ones approaching me (at times).

    Part of me feels like I'm missing out, like I maybe shaved my head in haste when I should have tried to save it, I'm confident in who I am, what's wrong with being confident in having a hair transplant? Honestly it was the meds that put me off, but now my younger brother is on them with zero issues - and no hesitation in taking them.

    Now I don't know where I stand. Do I just stick with the shiny scalp and hope that someone finds it attractive? I mean eventually as I get older it'll become far more common place, so the odds are in my favour, but I haven't got that kind of patience.

    I'm somewhat considering Scalp Micro-Pigmentation, I feel that having that short buzz/hair shadow look would look a great deal better than the current situation - and there wouldn't be the need for meds, I wouldn't go for the line or anything, just a natural looking hairline.

    I'm still considering a Hair Transplant, I'm earning decent money and I'm very tempted by a flying visit to Turkey.. I actually enquired not too long ago and was told my donor area isn't great and I would probably need 2 sessions, plus they might potentially take some hairs from my neck line/beard, so that put me off.

    Can't say I've ever considered a hair piece/system, I just wouldn't.

    As of now I'm focusing on the gym, but I can't get this off my mind.

    I'm outwardly confident but some times it gets to me.

    A housemates gorgeous friend came over one of the days and was talking about getting chatted up at the gym, 'this fella must have been well into his 30's, he was balding and everything!' - as I sat there, shiny. I didn't even react but I felt it.

    I'm quite happy with how I look bald, I'm just not happy with my personal experience that women just don't really go for bald 20 somethings.



Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 279 ✭✭89897


    Is it perhaps that you're having a bit of a confidence issue and are linking it with women arent matching with you online more than its to do with your appearance?

    Online dating always seemed to have come in waves or loads of matches and then few and the loads again and few again. To be honest im not sure going through quite a costly and invasive treatment just for women to fancy you is the right thing if you're comfortable with how you look.



  • Registered Users Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    Honestly, no I genuinely don't think it's a confidence thing. I mean I was going bald at the time when I really wasn't having any trouble with women, I hid it well but I was self conscious as hell about it, constantly watching out for wind, fixing my fringe in photos..

    I still do get some interest/attention, I'm not saying it's dried up entirely, but they're not women I find attractive, and that hasn't changed since shaving my head, there's just far fewer women interested in me whom I'm also interested in..

    I mean plenty of lads get the procedure done, I'm sure the majority of them say it's 'for myself', but that's an encrypted way of saying 'it's for me to feel attractive, and for women to find me attractive, which will in turn make me more confident, and thus more attractive'.

    I feel I'm blessed with a 'good head for going bald', I'm confident, but I'm also confident that girls my age just aren't that into bald guys.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,980 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    Don't bother doing anything. Continue on as you are. There is nothing wrong with you. If you "fix" this you'll find something else to be unhappy about. Waste of time worrying about it. Grow a beard. Focus on your mental and physical health. And even spiritual health. And enjoy life. Be happy with what you have. That'll keep you much younger looking and happier in the long term than your contemporaries. Also, you'll save a fortune on barber fees. Don't forget sun cream. 👍



  • Registered Users Posts: 315 ✭✭Stevie2001


    With the tech out there you don't have to go bald gracefully anymore and it's pretty easy to get hair back

    If you've lost your hairline then of course it's going to change how you look, a hairline frames your face and its more noticeable on young people as your skin has a natural shine

    Don't get the SMP, everyone knows its a tattoo now and trying to explain you've a tattoo on your head ahhh, did you see Chris Eubank reaction when he got called out on it in his last fight by Liam Smith? Was a hard watch

    Go to a good clinic in Turkey, they are experts at it, get topical finasteride/minoxidil, barely any sides on topical vs oral and you'll have your again

    If your not prepared to use topical finasteride/min or oral, don't bother with the transplant, you'll continue to lose non transplanted hair and it will be a waste of time



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,639 ✭✭✭victor8600


    I am going for a hair transplant, but I am in my 40s and have good donor areas and I am fine with potential side effects of the meds, like the reduced fertility. It is not the best choice for everyone. I think you are better off maintaining your confidence, fake it if needed. Everyone has self-doubts, it's especially common among smarter people.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 29,315 ✭✭✭✭Wanderer78


    relative lost it in his teens, really struggled with it, as you would, eventually shaved the lot, has always looked very healthy since he did, and happier...



  • Registered Users Posts: 9,197 ✭✭✭pgj2015


    I don't think Eubanks reaction was a hard watch at all, he handled it very well. so what if he got his head tattooed, the other boxer was the one showing himself up bringing it up. A very important lesson in life is to do your own thing and not give a fcuk about what other people think.



  • Registered Users Posts: 595 ✭✭✭lcstress2012


    I’m in the same boat as you! Thinning hair especially on the crown of my head! I’m 29 and it’s been like this since my early twenties. Used to have a full head of hair! Really losing confidence probably next year when I have the cash saved I’ll head to turkey for a hair transplant as I don’t want to go bald.



  • Registered Users Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    See that's it though, that's what I've done - I've done the 'right' thing according to the internet, I've shaved it and owned it, but I'm not really any happier/better off having done that.

    i think that's a bit reductive to say there's no point trying because you'll just find something else to fix - that's self improvement, be it superficial or otherwise.

    I'm currently using some minoxidil to help with the beard growth because that's definitely lacking!

    Honestly, I'm not too sure I made the right choice, a big part of me regrets not trying to save what hair I had



  • Registered Users Posts: 13,668 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    You do realise shaving isn't permanent, right? You can just stop doing that, see what regrowth you have and then see what your treatment options are, be they surgical or medical.



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  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,654 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Fwiw OP, i am/was similar. Started losing it late teens (41 now).

    Pretty much shaved it off, have looked a few times probably 10 years ago at a HT but tbh at that point i'd seen some butcher shops jobs.

    I definitely think HT's have come on this is an irish guy, who went to Eugenix in India https://www.instagram.com/p/CrA3D90AfJA/


    Couple of threads in here you should check out https://www.boards.ie/categories/the-gentlemens-club



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,786 ✭✭✭DownByTheGarden


    My brother got a hair transplant at 30 a few years ago. He went from looking 45 (thats what anyone would say to us when talking about guessing what age he was. To him they would tell him he looked 30 out of politeness :) ) to looking about 25.

    He definitely had more success with the ladies after. but the thing is that everyone who knew him thought he looked weird when he got the transplant. After a while everyone just got used to it. Looking at pics of befroe and after he definitely looks way better and at least 15 years younger/



  • Registered Users Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    Oh believe me I am well aware! If I leave it too long I start to get mistaken for my father.

    I've got some hair but not a lot, balding at the crown was the final nail in the coffin for me, so what hair I have is definitely quite sparse up there



  • Registered Users Posts: 293 ✭✭ifeelabreeze


    I remember when I originally started going bald, hair transplants weren't really a done thing, going to Turkey wasn't talked about. But they've definitely come a long way. I've seen quite a bit about that Eugenix spot in India, might have to reach out to them!



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,803 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    It’s such a personal decision to make OP I don’t think anyone can advise you one way or the other, because it’s about how you are feeling.

    What I would say is take all the time you need to think over the decision, do lots of research - go for a few consultations. Think about the risk and side effects. Think about how you would feel if it doesn’t work properly/look great or if it looks good but has no impact on your ability to attract a greater amount of female interest than before.

    I made the decision to get my nose fixed after breaking it 29 years ago, I’m very happy with the decision I’ve made (surgery booked) but I didn’t come to it lightly and made sure it was for the right reasons.

    Talk it through with family and friends if you can.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,735 ✭✭✭Xterminator


    hi op

    what works for one person may not work for another here, as its deeply personal preference here. id say you need to examine your own mind here and understand what the issue is, and then decide on what action (if any) will make you happy. As far as i can tell, you are in the happy position of having choices here, because you have the means to get the procedure if you choose to.

    personally i would tend to do nothing here. i would be of the opinion i dont want to undergo any procedure etc. i think what you are doing, going to gym, working on feeling confidant in yourself, and shaving your head is the course of action that would be my choice.

    so you probably need a period of reflection to decide what feels right for you. go with what feels right.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭Iseedeadpixels


    I say go for it, you don't even have to go to Turkey for it, I think theres a place in Dublin called Tir na Nog you can see their stuff on FB, gotta say though I do like the micro pigmentation thing doing the rounds as well.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,394 ✭✭✭ManOfMystery


    I'm mid 40s and whilst I still have plenty of hair, it has receded a bit so I'll probably get a transplant in a few years to fill it out again.

    In this day and age, I'm all for it - why not? Pick up the paper every day and you'll see people who think nothing of having plastic surgery, injecting botox into their bodies, lips pumped up, eyebrows tatto'd on - at least with a hair transplant you are literally just relocating your own hair follicles from one part of your head to another part, it doesn't get much more natural than that.

    A work colleague got a transplant a couple of years ago, and it looks brilliant. His wasn't the usual balding crown or receding widow's peak, it was kinda thinning between his forehead and crown so he had a lot at the back and a lot at the front but a bald strip in between - and it didn't look good. I know people say to embrace baldness and throw up the likes of Jason Statham and Vin Diesel as examples of how to do it, but honestly, not everyone looks like them or has the facial structure to pull it off. Sometimes the average man just looks better with hair than without. And I think that even chisel-jawed and muscular Statham would look a few years younger with hair than without it.

    I think you've dealt with hair loss really admirably so far, and I think by actually shaving your head (as opposed to walking round with visibly thinning locks or some kind of combover) it gives you more options - if you did get the hair transplant and suddenly start growing hair again, many people who weren't acutely aware that your hair had receded might just assume you had it that way as it was easier to maintain.



  • Registered Users Posts: 9 bringinghomethebeercan


    I started to go bald at the crown during the latter years of college. Didn't really mind it then as it was at the back at the crown and couldn't really see it. This was when it kinds was thinning out and was receding at the sides. I was unfortunate that I didn't go bald at the top - like The Rock, Bruce Willis and Jason Statham.

    It was only a few years on that it bothered me. Started shedding hair at my desk at work (the stress of working a job i hated for years probably didn't help matters), but what affected me most was going to the barber and the haircut getting shorter in duration each time and also i could tell my bald patch getting bigger each time from where the razor was buzzing.

    Best thing I did was buy a hair clipper and shave it all off. Took a lot of guts to do it mind you - but worth it as soon as you buzz that first strip of hair off. No more checking the mirror constantly, no more wiping hairs off my desk every few mins, no more money wasted on haircuts, no more nightmares of worrying about potential hair transplants I can’t afford (15-20kish I think). You ever notice someone that's clearly balding but desperately hanging onto that piece of hair as long as they can. Don't be that guy - it'll kill your confidence. Embrace the baldness and wear it proudly.

    I recommend to shave it off. If you're noticeably balding already, then your friends and family won’t say much as they'll be expecting it in away. You'll receive the odd slagging initially, but it'll just make it more normal and you can laugh about it which will break the weirdness and whatnot.



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,390 ✭✭✭✭Supercell


    OP I'm about the same height and no joke my hair was thinning before I'd finished growing. I'm 52 now and happily married with three children.

    Honestly, its what you make of it, my height always bothered me much more than my hair to be honest. My dad shaved his head from when i was a kid and and his father was a baldie too so i guess it just seemed normal to me and never bothered me much. In life you'll meet people that like baldies/fat/thin/tall small, thankfully there is someone there for all of us.

    Focus on the positives, if you let it bother you and start down the road of transplants it'll start defining you, try and think of the positives - no waiting in barbers, no hair cutting expenses though you will need more suncream in summer than many others!

    Best i can give is try and just be yourself, its part of what you are, be positive and others will be positive back. Look at Bezos, baldness never held him back from success!

    Have a weather station?, why not join the Ireland Weather Network - http://irelandweather.eu/



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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,694 ✭✭✭PoisonIvyBelle


    I genuinely think some guys actually look better bald. I wouldn't think twice about it if the guy's head is totally shaved. It would only put me off if it was balding with just hair left at the sides and they hadn't shaved it, as it makes men look much older and unkept IMO.

    If you'd feel better getting the hair transplant, do it for yourself. But don't do it for dates. You'll still get plenty of dates with a bald head. And TBH do you really want to be with a woman who wouldn't be interested in you if you didn't have hair?



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,409 ✭✭✭Tork


    There are lots of men with shaved heads now, it's no biggie at all. But please don't grow a beard to compensate for your thinness on top. It suits some men but on others, it looks utterly ridiculous.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,694 ✭✭✭PoisonIvyBelle


    I think the beards usually look great with a shaved/bald head!



  • Registered Users Posts: 15,357 ✭✭✭✭Vicxas


    Started going bald around 30 and was in the same boat as some people on here. Worried constantly that my thinning hair was noticeable, massive bald spot on the back that i chose to ignore.

    One day i got a shave in a barbers which was a 0.5 cut and i went home and noticed how bald i was, took the plunge and shaved it all off. Honestly, it was liberating. No more worrying and no more trying to cover it up.



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭Iseedeadpixels


    If you can grow one! Plenty of lads walk around with horrible beards with gaps etc.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,694 ✭✭✭PoisonIvyBelle




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