online dating

I suppose in a public way. I have a Facebook account myself but I never post, just look in once every few months as sometimes people send me messages. Should delete it really. I wouldn’t find it odd if somebody didn’t at all, because plenty with Facebook accounts in the past have deleted and I will soon follow suit.

Wasn’t even thinking of the privacy settings. It was more that if somebody is posting a lot on social media (regardless of whether it’s for those they are connected with or any member of the public to see, I’m not usually going to be compatible with them in mindset. Each to their own though 😊

Yeah he doesn’t come across as bitter to me. Maybe it was a joke

Oh, you again. 😂😂

You need to take a chill pill mister.

I am single because I know what I like, I like my own company and I’m not on a mission to be in a relationship. If I find someone I’m into enough to pursue one, that’s great. If I don’t, that’s fine too. I have no need to settle for someone I’m not into and why would I? I also made it clear that I don’t go by photos alone and never have.

Someone was talking about bitterness earlier, have a think about that.

Ah I’m sorry but you’re just not worth responding to anymore, much as I’m sure the attention is making your day. 🙂

I'm mid 30s. No, I didn't block him, it didn't cross my mind tbh as he didn't say anything abusive. I'm just not interested.

The forest thing entailed meeting him halfways between our places and him picking me up to drive there, so I just wasn't on board with that. But he did agree to an alternative. But yeah, aside from that after talking to the ex and my own feeling on it, it would have been a bad idea for me to meet him.

The guy who noted my pics was actually very nice, just unfortunately way too far off my radar in terms of what I'm attracted to. But it was a nice message so I responded in the same fashion. 🙂

It’s deffo a combination of pictures and what they say - I wouldn’t have swiped on the Belgian guy I’m seeing based on his pics alone - it was what he had written in his profile that I loved, and it was a great conversation starter too. I never usually message first but I was compelled to in this case. I won’t say what it was but it was food related.

Yet some men keep complaining the wording doesn’t matter and it’s pics only when it so does!

Absolutely! I find men have this idea that women are swiping based on photos only and that's not the case at all. I could come across someone completely my type looks-wise but if they hadn't bothered to fill in a profile or wrote something that didn't click with me then I wouldn't match. However, unless the guy is a total no-go for me in terms of physical attraction I will always look at what he's written on his profile.

There are a number of things that make a man attractive to me and it's not all to do with how they look. It's having a passion about something, sharing my sense of humor, having a good attitude, knowing what they want.. a culmination of traits. If someone asked me my "type" in only physical traits the only thing that would stand out to me is dark hair, around my height or taller, and not super slim - but that doesn't mean they have to be jacked (at all!!) dad bods etc. are all totally fine with me. With that said, I have dated guys who don't fit into that box because I'm attracted to them anyway for other characteristics, mannerisms, or aspects of their personality, so if that comes across in what they write online then I absolutely do not dismiss those guys based on a physical preference.

The wording is so important though. There are lots of good looking guys online and I get a lot of matches, but men reading this have to understand that it's really tough for women to figure out which are genuine. Many guys just swipe on everyone for an ego boost, and a lot of them will also instantly send you a sexual message right off the bat. Fortunately, that doesn't happen as much to me as I see it happen with friends because I'm selective with who I swipe on and I'll only swipe if I checked their profile and they seem like someone I'd be interested in and I don't see red flags. But it does happen now and then. That said, it doesn't make me bitter or cynical. There are as many sound and genuine guys on the apps too! Same goes for women.

I came across a lovely-looking fella just now for example and checked his profile, but it leads with "NO DRAMA" which screams baggage to me and is. a massive red flag. I understand that guys who had been through the mill might put that up, but lads - please don't, it comes across really badly and is a massive turn-off. I'd say you're actually going to attract drama with it rather than the opposite.

Agree. And would re emphasise the no drama comment, I don’t care what else is written on the profile or what the pictures are like if I see that it’s a left. I mean, I don’t want any drama either but I am not going to assume each guy is bringing drama and I have to say it to him I don’t want it, it’s a little insulting even.

…Makes a note to be potentially more specific on cooking skills in my next profile..

No, I don't think so. I don't know if I'm interested in someone just based on a photo, that's why I need some info in the bio. A bio will also let me know what they're looking for, or at least what they pertain to be looking for. If I can start up a convo with someone who has a bio I connect with or someone who doesn't, why would I swipe on someone who doesn't?

Do you think there's a reason men don't want to write something about themselves and what they're looking for?

Has to be poetic too. So it wasn’t just the food it was a very romantic interpretation (not sexual)

Exactly. Attraction is much more than looks. I get that men are more visual though so perhaps it’s tricker for men to understand.